by Anthology
When I slide in the booth I notice Katie is closely watching me. “What?”
A smirk forms on her face. “This was your booth, wasn’t it?”
My eyes widen with surprise. “I saw Luke sitting here the other day. He looked sad.”
Luke was sitting in our booth?
“He was eating a vanilla milkshake with fries, just like you do.” Trying my hardest not to give anything away I smile.
“Luke used to be your boyfriend and you two always sat in this booth, am I right?” My heart starts racing, “Seriously how old are you?”
Katie giggles, “I’m almost ten which is old, but I heard Val say something then Margie told me it was true the other night at dinner.” Damn you Margaret Runyan. She’s still secretly living for the day Luke and I get married.
“Before you get mad at Margie, I asked her about it. I thought she’d want to know how sad Luke seemed.”
“Hello ladies. Are we both having our usual?” Pam asks.
“I am.” I nod my head wondering if Pam still knows what my usual is seeing as I haven’t eaten here in years. “Coming right up.”
Pam walks away as the bell on the door rings causing Katie’s face to light up. “Luke.”
You have to be freaking kidding me . . .
I glance over my shoulder only to see Luke making his way towards us.
“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite ladies.” Katie giggles again but I remain silent. Without an invitation, Luke slides into the booth next to me.
His left arm is away from me, as his right hand lands on my upper thigh. My eyes dart towards Luke but he’s smiling at Katie.
“I thought you said your mother never comes here?”
Katie shrugs, “She doesn’t, but I guess it was time for a change.”
Pam returns to the table with our food and she does in fact have a milkshake and fries for me.
“At the same time, some things never change.” Luke adds before he grabs a fry and dips it into my milkshake.
“Luke are you going to the fair this weekend?” I sneak a peek at Luke. The local fair was another thing we did together. “That depends. Are you going to the fair?”
“Yes, I love the fair.” Katie beams her beautiful smile at Luke who’s without a doubt eating it up.
“Maybe you could ask my mama to the dance on Saturday?”
My eyes widen, “Katherine Michelle that is enough.” Katie’s face falls and for a quick second I actually feel bad.
“If your mama is at that dance, then I’m sure to ask her to dance with me.” A smile lingers on Katie’s face but she knows she’s pushed her limits.
“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.” Katie gets up and takes off without looking back. “Don’t be so hard on her.” Luke whispers next to me.
“Excuse me?” I snarl. “Who do you think you are suddenly showing up in our lives only to tell me how I should handle my daughter?”
Instead of getting pissed, Luke smiles. “There’s that spit fire I once knew.”
“Don’t do this.” I wave back and forth between us.
“Do what?” he questions.
“One night. One conversation with my dad and you’re gone. You told me you didn’t love me and tossed me to the side and never looked back. You don’t get to just show up with your good looks and dazzling smile and think everything will magically return to the way it once was.”
A coy smile slowly forms, “You think I’m good looking?”
I groan and turn back towards the table just in time for Katie to return. “Finish eating then I’ll take you to Val’s before I go to work.”
Luke pipes in, “I can watch her.” Katie instantly gets excited.
“We could go back to Margie’s. I know she needs help in her garden,” Katie cheerfully states.
“Sounds like a plan,” Luke says before I have the chance to say anything.
I force myself to remain calm. Katie goes to Margie’s all the time, but I don’t like how Luke just stepped over a boundary he shouldn’t have crossed.
“You’re not driving her.” I snap.
“Of course not. I’ll follow you back to my place.” Pam brings over our ticket and Luke snatches it up. “I’ll go pay then I’ll meet you two beautiful ladies out front.”
Luke hops up and walks over to the counter to pay, while both Katie and I watch him. The two of us are wearing two very different expressions.
MY DAD DIED when I was a kid. My younger brother died when I was eighteen and now I’m positive my mother is dying. I don’t fear living alone, seeing as that’s exactly how I’ve lived the last twelve years of my life, but after being around Sam and Katie I know I want them, maybe even need them in my life.
I drive my truck up close to the house as Sam pulls up next to me. Katie hops out and runs inside. I love how attached she is to my mother. I know when the day comes that she’s no longer with us it will hurt Katie unlike anything she’s felt before but I’m selfishly happy that my mother has Katie—a grandchild I’ve never given her.
“This isn’t Margie’s normal day so if anything comes up have her call me. I should be done with work by three.”
Sam starts to climb back in her truck, “I think you have an appointment with me today. You’ll be able to check on Katie then.” I can’t keep the smirk off my face.
“I traded your file with someone else.”
I nod my head, “And I called and refused this other nurse. I think I might need help showering after all and the only person I want to see me naked is you.”
Sam’s eyes narrow as her mouth drops open. “Seriously Luke what are you doing?”
“I’m doing what I should’ve done twelve years ago.” I take a step closer as Sam’s eyes start to water. “I’m fighting for the woman I’m meant to be with.”
Sam sniffles and wipes her eyes. “Why didn’t you fight for us then? Why didn’t you tell me you needed to enlist in the army? We could’ve had our own plans without losing each other.”
I can hear years of pain in her voice and it kills me. “I didn’t have a plan the night I broke us. Hell, I was probably going to end up working at The Mill like your old man.” Sam’s eyes flash. She loves her father but she never wanted to get stuck in this town. Her dreams have always been bigger. “I owed it to my mom and Casey to enlist and I knew if I told you goodbye, I wouldn’t have left. I loved you too much to walk away a second time.”
Tears work their way down Sam’s cheeks. “I told myself years ago that you’ve probably married some wealthy man with a degree of his own. That you probably had kids, it’s because of that I wouldn’t allow myself to imagine a future with you but now . . .” My voice cracks. “Now everything is different.”
Sam shakes her head. I can see the fear in her eyes as she jumps in her truck and takes off. With a deep breath, I walk up the steps and into the house where I’m greeted by both Katie and mom. “Give her time to process what you told her.” Mom pats my hand, “Now who wants some watermelon?”
“I do.” Katie says with a soft smile. I’m not sure how much they overheard but it was enough for the two of them to feel sorry for me. “Let’s eat some watermelon, then the two of you can tell me everything I need to know in order to win that woman back.”
AT TWO O’CLOCK mom’s front door flies open and a very angry Sam storms in. “What did you say to Judy to get her to agree to this nonsense?” Sam’s face is beet red.
“I only told her I felt more comfortable with you as my nurse.”
Sam’s eyes narrow to a slit. “No you didn’t, you refused any other nurse she offered.”
I can’t help the smirk on my face. “If you knew that, then why’d you ask?”
Sam rubs her temples in frustration. “Jasper is my home and outside of my family, this job is my life. I won’t let you, or anyone for that matter, mess with it.”
My expression slightly slips. “Sam I’m not trying to mess with your job.” When I spoke to Judy, Sam’s boss I refused to
allow her to switch Sam out for anyone else. Outside of mom, I need a guaranteed way of regularly seeing Sam.
“But you are.” I can see Sam’s anger start to fade. “If I’m going to be your nurse, then you’re going to act professionally,” she demands.
“Yes ma’am.”
I’m fighting off my laughter when she finally caves and takes a seat across from me.
“Where’s Katie and Margie?” I point to the window where they’re working in the garden. “It’s really hot have they been out there long?”
My eyes dart towards the two of them. “No they just went out.” I can’t believe I didn’t think about the heat when they agreed to scatter when Sam pulled up the drive. “Good. The heat isn’t good on your mother.” I nod at her comment.
“Let’s get this done.” Sam opens her file. “Okay, I have a few questions—.”
“So do I.” I cut her off. “I want to ask one for every one you ask me.” Sam’s eyebrows push together. “That’s not how this works Luke.”
“I know, but everything between you and me is different.”
Sam sighs in defeat. “Fine but only if you answer my questions truthfully.”
I nod my head again and motion for her to start. “On a level of one to ten, ten being the worst, what is your pain level?” Sam cocks her head waiting on my answer. “On a good day, a four maybe five, but I’ve some days where my arm has burned like a bitch.” Sam’s eyes flash, almost like she’s shocked I’d answer truthfully. “Are you taking your pain meds?”
“Not usually. They make me feel sluggish and incautious to my surroundings.”
Sam’s hard expression slips. “There’s plenty we can try. I’ll have a new script written.” Sam looks back down at her file. “I’ve set up an appointment for later this week for your physical therapy. I think after a few trips you’ll see a great improvement in your movement. I’m hoping in the next week or so you’ll be able to lose the sling.”
“That sounds great. I can’t wait to use my arm again.” Sam watches me without saying anything so I decide it’s time to ask one of the many questions I’d like answered.
“After we broke up, did you fall in love with anyone else?” Sam goes bug-eyed from the change in conversation and the reality is, I’m freaking the hell out. I don’t know what I’ll do if she says yes.
“I had hoped and dreamed you moved on. I wouldn’t consider the possibility that you hadn’t until I returned home and saw you. I knew then that every single day I was without you was pointless.” I lean forward ready to reach out and grab her hand. “I haven’t loved anyone but you and I know I never will.”
Sam starts to chew on her lower lip as her eyes glisten. When she finally speaks, her voice cracks. “Words are extremely powerful. They can build you up or tear you down but at the end of the day actions always speak louder.”
I release her stare and rub my hand through my hair as I frown. “You’re right. I walked away without a fight.” I glance back as we lock eyes. “But you have to know walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I . . . I couldn’t be the person who kept you from your dreams.”
“Mama!” We both jump to our feet when we hear Katie’s bloodcurdling scream.
“Oh my God.” Sam breathes out as we both see mom lying on the ground. Sam and I take off at the same time.
“Mama she just fell down.” Sam grabs mom’s wrist.
“Luke, bring the truck around. We need to get her to the hospital.” Without thinking I take off around front. I drive the truck as close as I can get to mom and grab her out of Sam’s arms.
“Katie, get in. We’re riding with Luke.”
Once we’re all in the truck I drive like a mad man towards the hospital.
I KNEW MARGIE’S time was nearing. Two years ago she suffered her first stroke and since then she’s had many more, but I wasn’t prepared for her to collapse today. God . . . I don’t think I could’ve ever prepared myself for seeing her unconscious lying in my daughter’s arms.
Being a nurse, I know everyone who works in the medical field in the surrounding three counties. Therefore, I barge through the ER doors demanding someone to tell me what’s going on.
“Sam. I’m sorry, we’re doing everything we can.” Dr. Russell says the second he spots me.
“I need to know what’s wrong with her.” I plead.
Dr. Russell sighs. “I think she’s had a hemorrhagic stroke this time.” My heart drops to my stomach, “What?”
“I don’t know for a fact yet, but it looks like Margie is hemorrhaging in her brain. I’m guessing even if I found it last week when I ordered an MRI, I wouldn’t have stopped what happened.”
I slide down the wall to the floor. “I know this is hard Sam, but Margie isn’t suffering.”
Margie may not be in pain, but I am and it will increase when I have to walk out to that waiting room and tell my daughter and Luke that Margie more than likely won’t come home.
“I need to get some air.” I push to my feet and walk out the way I came. I don’t ever lie to my daughter, but damn if I didn’t wish I could say something to buy myself more time.
“Mama?” Katie’s heartbroken voice hits me harder than I was expecting.
“Margie had another stroke.”
Luke swallows as he processes what I said. “And?”
My lips set to a hard line, “It’s worse than the ones before.”
Luke’s eyes painfully close. “Will she be okay?” Katie asks.
“I don’t know baby girl.” Katie falls into my arms as her tears take over. Luke on the other hand, walks out the ER doors.
THE NEXT FEW harrowing hours pass. Luke thankfully returned about thirty minutes after he stormed out and my heart wasn’t ready for Katie to so easily take to him, but she did. Luke put out his arms and without thinking, Katie walked into them.
Dad and Val both showed up about the same time Luke returned. Now we’ve spent hours waiting.
“Mr. Runyan?” Dr. Russell cautiously says.
“Yes.”
The doctor, someone I’ve known for years looks around until his eyes stop on me. He’s silently asking me if it’s okay to speak freely. I nod my head causing him to sigh.
“First off, I want you to know that Margaret isn’t in any pain. This last stroke caused her brain to start bleeding, it’s rare but not uncommon after someone who’s suffered as many strokes as Margaret has this last year.” Katie whimpers in Luke’s arms. “I’ve made her as comfortable as possible but at this time I don’t expect her to wake up.”
Dad turns away and even Val’s eyes start to water.
When I returned home after earning my nursing degree I did my best to avoid Margie and she did her best to pop up wherever I was. She told me she loved me, no matter what and that was hard to argue with, but it was how she acted the second she held Katie that made me forget the past and allow her into my life without question. Even without a blood connection, Katie has always been her granddaughter.
“Mr. Runyan you’ll need to decide if you want your mother to continue on a ventilator or have it removed.”
Luke drops his gaze to the floor as I reach out and lace my hand with his. My mother died before I was old enough to remember, therefore I can’t imagine what he’s feeling.
“I’ll give you some time to think things over. In the meantime, Margaret is in room 238.” I nod my head as the doctor leaves.
Dad drops to a chair and Val wraps Katie up in her arms. Luke however never once let’s go of me. After a few long moments he tugs on my hand, “What does mom want?”
I look up into his heartbroken brown eyes. “She doesn’t want to be hooked up to machines Luke.” My answer causes his expression to drop even more. “We need to come to terms with what’s happened. Give her a few days but if nothing has changed, then we need to let her go.”
“We?” he questions.
Now is not the time to talk about us, but I’m not about to start that argument. �
�I’ll be here with you.” While we sort out Margie’s situation, but I don’t add my last thought. Luke reaches out and pushes my head back and looks down into my eyes.
“Thank you Sam. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” A shield I’ve built around my heart starts to crack.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I know my will to fight Luke fades with every comment he makes.
I’M NUMB WHILE I stand here in this hospital processing the fact that I won’t be leaving with my mother—someone I’ve taken for granted for years.
“Hey.” Sam softly says next to me. I blink a few times before looking in her direction.
“Let’s go somewhere and talk before we go back and see your mom.” When I glance around I notice that Edward, Val and Katie are gone.
“Okay.” I mumble as Sam pulls on my hand and takes us to an empty office. I drop to the chair next to the desk and place my head in my hands.
“Margie doesn’t want you upset. I know that’s easier said than done, but believe me, you’re all she could talk about.” I snap my head up, “What?”
I delivered the worst heartbreak a mother could ever handle then I abandoned her for years. “You’re the only person who’s ever blamed you for Casey’s death.” I take a deep breath willing myself to relax but it doesn’t help.
“After I broke up with you, I went to that party. I went and I drank until I was shitfaced. I knew I couldn’t drive so I called Casey to come get me.” My brother was only a year younger than me. He had his license but he didn’t drive the back roads around Jasper often. When he came around a sharp turn he hit a deer, which somehow caused his jeep to roll. Hours passed before anyone found him and I was too drunk to remember I called him.
“Did you know that the doctors claimed if Casey had been taken to the hospital when the accident happened he might’ve lived?”
Sam frowns as she steps closer to me. “They don’t know that and honestly, they never should have said that to you. Casey had an accident, plain and simple.”
“An accident I caused.” I practically shout causing Sam to jump.