by Carol Ashby
She closed her eyes as she struggled to control the tears. Her lips quivered, and the desire to lean over and kiss them surged through him. He hadn’t expected the temptation to be so strong. It was time to finish the story while he could still resist.
“Being bought by Aristarchus gave me a new life. I’d always been treated like a work animal. I would have died like one. He treated me like a free man even while I was still his slave. Best of all, he taught me about Jesus, and I follow the same Master who told Aristarchus to rescue me.
“I earned my freedom in five years. Then I became first mate on one of his ships. Philip trained on that ship when he was eighteen. When he got his first ship two years later, he made me captain. My ship brought Claudia to Titus before it brought you and Drusilla here.”
He wiped away what he hoped were the final tears. “Now you know my story. It’s not a sad one, so you don’t have to keep crying. I saved the little boy, and that flogging led to my freedom and put me where I would learn Jesus is my savior. You could call it a gift from God.”
Those deep blue eyes were staring into his as the tears began to pool once more “I never thought about how hard it could be...how cruel...how horrible. How stupid of me to think I understood anything about being a slave. You told me so that first day.”
She drew a ragged breath, and the river of tears broke free. “Can you forgive me for being such an ignorant, arrogant fool?”
He drew her into his arms. Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she pressed her face against him. He felt the warm wetness against his chest as they soaked through his tunic. She wasn’t making any sound, but he felt the jumps in her breathing that told him she was sobbing silently.
He’d dreamed of holding her, just like he used to hold Damara, but he never thought he would. Maybe he shouldn’t be right now, but he couldn’t stand watching her cry. For the first time, she seemed so vulnerable. An overwhelming urge to protect her forever swept over him.
She’d always seemed so far beyond his reach―a regal woman who didn’t need anyone to care for her, a woman who would never let herself fall in love with a man who was only a sea captain with a farm.
But the elegant woman who made the simplest chair seem like a throne had broken down in front of him and asked his forgiveness. If she cared so much about his forgiveness, would she welcome his love?
“There’s nothing you could do that I won’t forgive.”
Chapter 47: Unexpected Possibilities
Cornelia slipped her arms around him. So many times, she’d imagined how good it would feel to be in his arms. It was even better. His strength cocooned her as he held her. Alone for so many years, she’d grown strong. There was no one else to do what must be done. To have him share life’s burdens would be so sweet.
Even through his tunic, she could feel the ridges of the scars from that flogging twenty-five years ago. She slid her fingers back and forth across them. Scars from a costly act of kindness, but God had turned it into an act of mercy toward him as well.
She traced one of the welts with her finger. It stretched from just above his belt almost to his shoulder, and her finger crossed at least a dozen more as it traced the first one. Her head reeled at the thought of his torture.
He’d called that horrible flogging a gift from God that led to his freedom and his faith. Maybe Lucius’s hateful ways that made her come to Thracia had been a gift from God as well. If only part of that gift could be Hector’s heart.
She relished his arms around her. Tenderness radiated from him as he held her in a gentle embrace. The love of a man like him was priceless. She wanted it more than anything she could imagine, but nothing in her past had taught her how to get a man like him to love her.
The river became a rivulet and finally stopped. One more ragged breath was followed by a deep sigh. She slipped her arms further around him and snuggled into his solid chest. More than ever, she wanted him to marry her and hold her like this for the rest of their lives. How was she ever going to let him know he was the desire of her heart and get him to desire her as well?
Hector looked down at the proud women nestled against his chest. This was exactly what he’d dreamed of even before she left his ship. He’d thought it impossible, but there she was, willing and even happy to be cradled in his arms. Would she consider him for something more than a friend? Would she marry a man who wasn’t high-born and wealthy like herself? He would have sworn she wouldn’t, but maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe he did have a chance with her. What if she could want him as much as he wanted her? Even considering the possibility sent a wave of anticipation up his spine.
He rested his bearded cheek against the top of her head, relishing the silkiness of her luxuriant hair against his cheekbone where there was no beard. It was good she didn’t wear those fancy Roman hairstyles anymore. His short, curly hairs caught in the soft brown strands as he shifted his cheek. His favorite of her perfumes teased his nostrils. Her hair was full of the fragrance of roses. He inhaled deeply.
What if he were to weave his fingers into her thick hair and turn her lips up so he could kiss them? He started to reach, but then he paused. She might not welcome that. At least not yet. It was only the first time she’d allowed him this close. It was enough to just hold her today. He placed his hand on her back once more, but this time he swept his forefinger slowly back and forth.
The tears were over. Their breathing synchronized as he held her close. There was something both peaceful and exciting about that. Did she feel it, too?
Cornelia pressed her ear against his chest. His muscles were so solid and warm against her cheek. The beating of his heart was so steady, so strong. Each th-thud added to her conviction that she never wanted to leave the comfort of his encircling arms. In her entire life, she’d never known the peace and security of listening to the heartbeat of a man who cared about her. Could that caring grow into love? She would give anything to have him love her like she already loved him.
She closed her eyes and soaked up his presence. Had it been in her power, she would have frozen time and remained in his arms forever.
The scuffle of Vania’s sandals on the mosaic floor as she skipped into the room broke the spell. He released her, and she stepped back.
“Have you seen Drusilla?”
Cornelia smiled at her niece, masking her disappointment over the end of their interlude. “She left here a few minutes ago.”
Drusilla trotted into the room right behind her. Her eyes darted between Cornelia and Hector; then a sly smile crept out.
“Shall I get the dice instead and we can all play together for a while?” She smiled hopefully at Hector.
He dropped on one knee in front of her. “I think that’s a very good idea.” He smiled up at Cornelia. “Playing games with two of my favorite people suits me just fine.”
Miriam stepped into the sitting room to tell Cornelia they were leaving. The sight before her seemed very odd. Cornelia’s eyes were puffy, like she’d been crying hard, but the happiest smile lit her face.
“I’ll say farewell now. Philip’s here, so we’re leaving.” Cornelia rose from the table as if to follow her to the stable yard. “Don’t bother coming out. You three keep playing.”
A mischievous smile curved Miriam’s lips. “Hector, I hope you’ll take good care of Cornelia and Drusilla while we’re gone.” The smile turned into a grin. “But I’m sure you will without me asking.”
Hector’s grin mirrored her own. “You can count on me for that.”
Cornelia’s eyes sparkled at his words.
Miriam raised her hand and left them. Something very interesting had just happened. It was going to be hard to wait a week to find out what.
Anthusa noticed Mistress Cornelia watching her in the mirror as she brushed her mistress’s hair before retiring.
“Anthusa, I want to ask you something…something important.”
Anthusa’s eyebrows rose at that statement. The mistress
usually just asked without any prelude. “What, mistress?”
“What would you do if you were free?”
Anthusa blinked several times in quick succession. “I never thought about it.”
“Well, think about it now. What would you do?”
This was an unsettling conversation. She wasn’t sure what answer the mistress wanted. She didn’t want her to think she wasn’t happy serving her, because she was. But being free…that was every slave’s dream. It was also a frightening thought.
“I don’t know. I’m happy here with you. I don’t know where else I would ever want to go or what I would do if I left.”
“What if you could stay with me as my servant but still be free? Would you like that? Then if something happened to me, no one would be able to sell you or hurt you.”
Cornelia watched Anthusa closely in the mirror. First shock at the question, then discomfort with an unclear future, and finally her growing smile as she thought about it.
“I do want to stay with you, mistress, but to be free…I never even dreamed that could be. You say I could stay even if you freed me?”
Cornelia stood and took her faithful friend’s hands in her own. “You’ve been my slave for twenty-five years, but you’re also my closest friend. You’re the one person I trust most in this world. I would never want you to leave. Of course you could stay.”
“Then yes. I guess I would like to be free. It’s a frightening thing when a master dies. You never know what the next master will be like. No one else could be as good as you’ve been.”
“Then that decides it. I’ll talk with Titus when he gets back about what I need to do to free you. He freed Miriam, so he’ll know.”
“Thank you, mistress.” The happy glow in Anthusa’s eyes said more than words could. Cornelia opened her arms, and Anthusa threw her arms around her. As she embraced her dearest friend, Cornelia’s smile broadened in anticipation of Hector’s reaction to her decision. She would love the look of approval in his eyes.
Chapter 48: The Newest Sister
As Hector rode through Titus’s gate the next morning to take Cornelia and Drusilla to worship, he expected a very good day. On the road from his farm, the memory of how soft her cheeks had been as he wiped away her tears teased him. He couldn’t get his mind off how alive he felt as he savored holding her close while she slowly swept her fingers across the scars on his back.
He’d told himself repeatedly there was no point in thinking about a future with her. She would only marry a high-born man, someone her social equal. Yesterday had shown him the passionate woman underneath the elegant veneer. A woman who seemed to want him like he wanted her. He’d been strongly drawn to the regal Cornelia he’d seen for many weeks. The vulnerable Cornelia of yesterday had finished ensnaring his heart as she cried in his arms.
Surely God had brought her to his ship, to his friend’s family, to his own arms so they could be together. It was a little over three months before the sea opened and he took the Claudia out again. He wanted to make her his wife before he sailed. Only two things were needed. She must decide to follow his Lord, and he needed the courage to ask her.
Drusilla was already outside, tossing grain to the chickens gathered around her feet. She flung the rest into the air before bouncing over to greet him.
“Mother and Anthusa are almost ready, Captain.”
“Good.” He swung down and led his mare into the waiting stall.
She trotted along beside him. “It’s too quiet here with Vania and the boys gone.”
A corner of his lip twitched up. “I’m not surprised. It’s never quiet with little boys around.”
Drusilla grinned up at him. “I’d like to have a little brother to find out. My brothers are all grown up.”
She was looking at him like her mother did when she expected him to do something.
“Maybe your mother will remarry, and you will.”
Sparkling eyes accompanied another grin. “I hope so, Captain, and I know who she should marry.”
Hector fought a grin. He knew who wanted to marry her already. If he were a betting man, he’d wager they were thinking of the same man.
Cornelia and Anthusa emerged from the kitchen to find Drusilla walking back from the stable with Hector.
Butterflies danced in Cornelia’s stomach as she watched him stride toward her. Her mind filled with his brawny arms wrapped tenderly around her, his solid chest pressed against her cheek, his trusting words revealing the secrets of his past.
His smile brightened the stable yard better than the sun. “Are you ready to go, Cornelia?”
He stopped three feet from her.
“Yes, Captain.” Again, she imagined his arms around her. If she got too near, could she resist touching him after the closeness of yesterday?
Anthusa and Drusilla moved up beside her. Drusilla slid one hand into Cornelia’s and reached for Hector’s with the other. “Uncle Philip is gone, so who’s going to teach? Is it you, Captain?”
Hector shook his head. “I only teach on my ship.”
Cornelia tipped her head. “Perhaps you should teach on land as well. I am still thinking about what you read and spoke on the Claudia.”
“I’m glad, but I only speak as the Spirit leads me. Here I learn instead of teach.”
Cornelia would have preferred to walk beside him, but Drusilla still held their hands until they reached Philip’s gate.
The gatekeeper swung the gate open to admit them and closed it after they passed through. Excitement coursed through Cornelia. Something special was in the air. God was calling her, and she was prepared to answer. She wasn’t sure what would happen today, but she knew it would change everything.
Cornelia settled onto the bench next to Hector. It seemed so natural to be there, feeling his warmth beside her. She glanced at his profile. God had made him such a wonderful man. Claudia was right about God bringing good even out of evil. She could honestly say she was grateful to Lucius for making her flee to Thracia.
An old man with a fringe of silver hair and deep wrinkles moved slowly toward the podium. He looked feeble, until he turned his eyes on her and smiled. Those eyes―piercingly intelligent yet filled with love. His smile―it wrapped her like a cozy blanket. It felt as if he knew something special was about to happen as well.
The lyre man started the singing, and once more it transported her. Finally, the old man raised his hand, and all went quiet.
He raised his hands and closed his eyes. “We praise you, Lord, for this new day to gather and worship you together. Fill us all with your Spirit, that our prayers and praise may give you joy.”
He opened the codex. “I had planned to read from the gospel of John today, but God had other plans. So instead, I’ll read what He chose a few minutes ago from the gospel of Luke.
“The son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests, and teachers of the law, and he must be killed, and on the third day be raised to life. Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.’”
Cornelia’s eyes saucered. It was the same reading Hector had chosen the first time she listened to him on the ship. She’d lived the life of someone who seemed to have the whole world, but it hadn’t satisfied. She’d lived separated from God by her sins, never fully at peace. Jesus had come and died to change that, and she knew, at the deepest core of her being, that He’d done it for her.
And right then, next to the man who’d started her on the path to he
aring God’s call, she answered yes. Yes to being a sinner needing a savior. Yes to accepting the gift of Jesus’s sacrifice to cover those sins. Yes to the call to follow Jesus as Lord.
The old man’s eyes locked on her own. “Someone here today is ready to give her life to our Lord Jesus.”
Cornelia rose. “I am, and I will never be ashamed of claiming Jesus as my savior.”
He held his hands out to her. “Come.”
She walked up to him and knelt.
He placed his gnarled hands on her shoulders. “In the presence of all gathered here, tell our Lord your decision to love and serve Him, and receive the Holy Spirit as He promised.”
Cornelia wasn’t sure where all her words came from, but as she spoke her heart, she felt surrounded by the indescribable presence of God, and her heart soared as words she never knew poured forth.
When she finished, the whole congregation rose to offer their praise and thanks to God.
The old man held her hand as she rose, and she floated back to stand beside Hector.
He beamed at her. “Welcome to the family, Cornelia. You’ll be with me as my sister in Christ forever.”
“Forever with Jesus…and you and Publius and Claudia and…I’ve never felt less alone.”
He grinned at her and took her hand as the musician plucked the lyre and the final songs of worship rose heavenward.
After the service, Hector watched Cornelia being greeted as the newest believer by everyone, and his heart filled with joy. She was now his sister in Christ, and he couldn’t have been happier about her decision. She was saved from her sins, destined for eternal life in heaven after her death. But he was joyful for one more reason. It was now possible for him to take her as his wife...if she would have him.
That was a very big if. He rubbed the back of his neck. She’d begun thinking about Jesus on his ship. He’d seen it in her eyes. But when did she decide to commit? She’d said nothing during their walk up from Titus’s house about being ready to make this step. When a woman loves a man, don’t they share their deepest thoughts and dreams? Damara always had.