“Fuck you, Murphy. That’s my call, not yours. If you want to go, then go. You know where I stand. If you want to flake out then just go. I don’t need someone who is going to be a total pussy and not stand his ground for what he wants. Whatever you are scared of better be worth it. Go!” I shouted as I stood and climbed the steps to the back door. I pointed towards the side of the house where his car was parked, he turned and walked away. I entered the house and stormed through the kitchen to the front door. I snatched it open and watched him pull away through the screen door. I fought hard not to scream but lost the fight.
CHAPTER 10
“Dakota, get your ass down here now,” an angry command was shouted from downstairs. Greyden was home. I was upstairs in my old bedroom reading my old diary from when I was a young teen. I hadn’t changed much over the years. I shut the small purple book and tossed it under the pillow on the bed. My bare feet padded lightly through the hall and down the stairs.
“You rang,” I asked as I rolled my eyes and entered the kitchen where he paced the room with frustrated hands in his hair. I sat in one of the kitchen chairs with one leg tucked under me. I pulled my sleeves down over my hands and folded them over my chest as I leaned into the table.
“Hines came in yesterday after you left and said he saw you at the inn with that fucking guy you are working with,” he sputtered and stopped in the middle of the kitchen, waiting for my reply. I arched a brow and then snickered.
“Oh really? And instead of coming to me to ask if it was true…you chose to treat me like shit before you even knew if it was,” I asked calmly and he tightened his jaw. “Indeed, you did. So allow me to tell you what really happened. I drove up on Mr. Yates kicking the shit out of Hines because he caught him with his pants down with his wife. I had to peel Yates off of him and send him away. I took Yates to the inn to sober up so he could go home and be the man he needed to be for his wife. Yes, Murphy is staying there. He skipped out on work and I saw him there with a hooker. Was that hooker me? No.”
He began pacing again and shook his head. “Are you fucking him,” he asked unexpectedly. I laughed because it caught me off guard and to be honest I didn’t know how to answer it. I felt like he was fishing for a fault though. I finally had to face the music. I could sit here and lie to him all day or I would be a woman and make my confession now. I cocked the gun and fired.
“Yes and no. We never fucked but I sure as hell wanted to.” I watched as my frankness killed him slowly. Suddenly my conscience caught up with me and I felt the tears threatening my eyes. I took a long breath and he put his back to the wall and sunk to sit on the linoleum floor. “I’m sorry, Greyden.”
“Don’t be. I’ve been sleeping with Laney for two years now. It didn’t stop when we started dating,” he spoke into his hands as he rubbed his face and exhaled heavily. Wow. I didn’t expect that but I didn’t let it knock me off my rocker since I just unleashed my news too. I nodded and shrugged my shoulders as my tears retreated. I wouldn’t cry now.
“Didn’t stop after she married a year ago either, eh?” He shook his head and I mirrored him. “Why did you bother moving in then,” I asked coolly. I was simply curious.
“I thought she and I would end. She got married and it needed to stop. I’ve always loved you and when you finally gave me an open door, I was ready to move on,” he said and looked away from me.
“You didn’t love me that much, I guess.”
“Same goes for you,” he replied and slowly started to collect himself. He stood and joined me at the table. “We have always been best friends. I don’t want that to end. Where do we go from here,” he asked and I shrugged.
“Stay in the master bedroom for now. I’ll move back to my old room until you move out.” I wasn’t angry and I could have been on so many levels. However, I felt my passion for Murphy was much more of a violation than a heartless two year fuck fest with a coworker. “Do you love her,” I asked him.
“No,” he replied and shook his head. “I just can’t stop.”
“Hope she was worth it,” I hypocritically stated and left the kitchen.
The door to my old room didn’t shut all the way. It never did. A sliver of hallway light poured over the bare wood floor and across an old bookshelf. I lay in my bed reading the titles to the few novels I had. They were all supernatural fantasy books and most of them were about vampires. The hallway light was turned off and darkness blanketed the room. I turned my gaze towards the window and watched nothing but darkness where Murphy once sat flashing his headlights.
I closed my eyes and tried to find sleep but all I could do was think about how I lost two men in one day. Looking back at my life in whole, I lost all the men in my life; my grandfather, my father and all of my boyfriends. I was pretty sure I had lost my best friend too. I could hear him talking on the phone down the hall, his words muffled by the closed doors between us. I sighed and wondered if Murphy was still in town or if he went ahead and abandoned my sinking ship. He said he would be here for a few more days which would give me time to see him again. However, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see him if he was really leaving.
Where did I go wrong? When did my addiction start? What the fuck am I so addicted to? Never in my life had a man had so much pull on me. I could even say “no” to my father when I really wanted to. Why couldn’t I fight him off too? I finally surrendered to my unanswered questions after an hour and fell asleep. I wished I had stayed awake to fight with myself a little more.
My father’s murder played in slow motion. My dreams were relentlessly realistic tonight. I could feel the warmth of my father’s blood soaking through my clothes. I could feel the hands of people pulling at us as they loaded my father up to carry him to the hospital. The blinding white lights of the military hospital hurt my eyes and then smell of disinfectant and sterilizer solution stung my nose. The pain in my heart was joined with revenge and I woke up covered in a cold sweat.
The sun was already up and I was happy it was Friday. No work to do. I drug myself out of bed, showered, dress and ignored the laundry. Dirty dishes sat in the sink and they too were overlooked. Creaking floorboards above me told me that Greyden was still home. Not caring to see him, I grabbed my jacket, holster for my 9 mm and my keys. After Mrs. Yates’s murder, I was not about to leave my house unarmed any time of the day. I collected my gun from the truck and jumped in my truck. By the time Greyden stepped out on the porch to see where I was going, I was gone.
I headed to the inn to check on Mr. Yates. I knocked on his door and after the fifth knock he finally opened the door. His eyes were still swollen from all the crying he had done over his dead wife. In my current heartless condition I wondered how he could weep over the adulterous whore but that was me. He invited me in and I stood by the door with no intentions of staying long.
“They think it was the same as the ET Route murders,” he said as he sat on the end of the bed looking like a zombie. “Fuck man, they ripped her to shreds! Who the fuck does that,” he wept as his hands covered his face and he started to fall apart all over again.
“I have to talk to you. Are you sober? Can you focus for a few minutes,” I asked him and moved to lean against the dresser in front of him. He lowered his hands and looked up at me with a nod.
“I haven’t had a drink since you dropped me off. And I need one now more than anything!”
“Yates, I talked to her before she was killed. She told me that she knew one of the bikers that you guys strung up and left for death,” I informed him. I watched his jaw tighten and his eyes grew more serious. “She had an affair with one of them. His name was Darius. She told me about the tattoos on their neck and everything that you guys did to them. Those guys should be dead! Do you think its possible that they have come back for revenge?”
“Fucking whore,” he grumbled and then refocused. “Its been three years. I would have thought they would have come back before now.” I nodded. I agreed but some people could hold a grudge for a lifetime.
Not to mention they would come back just when they thought we would forget about them.
“I met someone the other night out at the Ring. He had the paw tattoo on his wrist. He said he name is Markham.” I watched his face go slack and then he wiped his eyes and stood to cross the room.
“Darius was one of the bikers. I don’t know who Markham is. We couldn’t get those fuckers to talk. Maybe he is tied to them. Maybe he isn’t.” He wasn’t any help with his reply.
“Do you still have that glock Pops gave you a long time ago,” I asked and he nodded.
“I sleep with her every night,” he replied pointing at his pillow.
“Stay armed. I have a bad feeling about all of this,” I admitted and headed for the door.
“Dakota,” he called and I turned to look at him as I opened the door. “Thank you for being there for me.” I nodded and stepped out with the door heavily closing behind me.
Across the parking lot Murphy was leaning into the window of the same BMW that was here before. He kissed the woman inside of it and stood to stretch his arms up over his head as she pulled out and sped off. I sighed heavily, hating that I was in this situation again and headed for my truck. I didn’t go unnoticed.
“Fuck,” I heard him growl. Anger pulsed through me and I slammed my truck door. As I backed up I heard something slap the bed of my truck and I slammed on the breaks. Murphy rounded the truck and held his hands up. I rolled down my window but refused to look at him. He sniffed the air and placed his hand on my side view mirror. “Stalking me,” he asked playfully.
“Checking in on Yates,” I replied and listened to him take a long breath.
“Someone is angry. I smell it all over you. It’s not just me either,” he said reading me like a book. I finally cut my eyes at him and shook my head.
“Greyden and I split up. He has been fucking the bar wench.” Murphy laughed out loud and howled with amusement.
“And here you thought you were the only bad guy in the relationship.” He quieted down and bit his lower lip as he looked me over, “It’s a damn shame that he ruined what he had.” I sneered and began rolling my window up. He didn’t want me either so why was he going to give me an ear load of bullshit about me being a great woman and all? Before my window was up, he pulled the door open which yanked the knob from my hand.
“What do you want, Murphy,” I asked and tossed my hands up impatiently. “You just told me that you don’t want me. So let me go. I have no time for this fucking tug-of-war crap with you.”
“I never said I don’t want you, D. I want you more than you will ever know. If I have you, I have to leave. If I have to go on without you, I have to leave. So which is better? I’d rather not have that attachment if I have to leave regardless of which evil I choose,” he tried to explain. I didn’t understand. He was talking in riddles to me and I sat there with my flesh buzzing in his warmth. I wanted to grab him, taste him and feel his body against mine. My body tightened in response to my ache for him. He knew it.
He took a few steps back and shut the door. I watched his every muscle exposed tense. This was hard for him too. His chiseled jaw hardened and his eyes went cold. I felt his heat fade as though he forced it to and then I was able to move again. I slammed on the gas and finished pulling out as I kicked up sand and rocks. Tears threatened my eyes for I was so confused and upset. I felt like a heroin addict going through detox. The kicker was that I hadn’t even had the heroin yet, only a tease of what it had to offer and I was already drowning in my own obsession over it.
I pulled into the driveway of my shop and cut the engine. Greyden was still home and I didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. My attention snapped to the front porch when I heard the screen door slam. I noticed that his old red Chevy S10 was pulled out from the car port and the bed was full of carelessly tossed items. Greyden hurried down the stairs and across the yard with a box in his arms. He lowered it into the truck’s bed and headed back inside for more. I exhaled deeply and closed my eyes. My hands tightened around the steering wheel and I managed to fight off the urge to cry yet again.
I headed for the far end of the shop where Charlie’s car sat looking neglected and I made the decision to consume myself with its work today to drown out the chaos around me. I shoved the shop doors open, cranked up the volume on an old CD player and fired up my sander. I molested the body of the old Bel Air with almost every body improving tool I owned for the next couple of hours. The hum, hiss and grinding of my power tools calmed my wrecked nerves and made me forget that my ex was wearing a bare trail from my house to his truck as he moved out of the house and out of my mind.
CHAPTER 11
I stopped by the liquor store and grabbed my usual: cheap vodka. My tires crunched over the sand as I headed closer to the Ring. I wasn’t going to bother with the bar for a little while. The last thing I wanted to do was see Greyden and Laney together right now. I shook the mental image of him bending her over the beer cooler and reached for my gun. I tucked it into the holster I had strapped at my side under my black leather jacket. Tonight I found myself dressed for the hunt. A black lace shirt stretched tight over my torso and offered a taunting eyeful of my black bra and bare flesh beneath it. Jeans rested low on my hips and hung loose around my black boots. These boots weren’t my normal work boots but my black stiletto boots.
My heels were unforgiving to the desert floor as I slinked out of my truck and sauntered towards the blazing Ring. Nearly a dozen barrels were lit tonight and several fights were already soaking the sand with blood. I found my way back to the decrepit bleachers I sat on the last time and was pleased that they were vacant. Taking a seat, I skimmed the crowd and unscrewed the cap of my vodka. It didn’t take long for me to hear a familiar voice.
“Oh no, honey, that’s the good shit right there. Now pay up,” Charlie’s voice claimed my attention. He stood dressed in tight black pants and a fitted red shirt. His raven hair was flat ironed to perfection and littered with chunky violet streaks. He held his hand out to the man he stood next to and I spied a tiny bag of white substance and shook my head. The burly man he was with stuffed a wad of cash in Charlie’s other hand and took the small bag. “For twenty more dollars you can snort that shit off my ass,” he pitched playfully and the man grunted at him then walked away. “Fucking hater,” the pretty boy hissed as he turned on heel and spotted me.
“Darling, have you stooped that low,” I asked him as he sauntered over to me smacking his lips and dusting raven strands from his breathtaking eyes.
“What brings you here, slut,” he asked in his usual sassy tone. He could tell my vibe was off and he looked me over. “Oooooh, girl. You need a hug don’t ya?” He crossed his legs and rested his wrists over his knee. “All dressed like a badass hooker. Who picked your heart,” he asked as he lifted his hand and stabbed at the air with an invisible ice pick.
“Greyden and I split,” I said as he eyes lit up. “I told him about Murphy and he told me about Laney.”
His eyes flashed wide open and he giggled behind a fan of freshly black painted nails. “Oh, Jesus does love me. I knew that bitch was nasty! I love it!” He cheered on for a few seconds and then stopped, “Boo, are you okay?”
“Like you fucking care. Stick it to him. He deserves it,” I said arching a brow and looking away from his pretty face.
“Shit, he is no pole dancer. Sorry to hear he is forking that little twit though. Ain’t that skank married anyways?”
“Yes she is. I don’t care anymore. I wanted an easy out and I guess I got it. Karma is a bitch, right?”
He smacked his lips and shook his head, “Karma is an expensive whore. I don’t have the money or time to stay on that bitch’s good side so I know what you mean!” He sighed and scanned the area. I watched his eyes devour one man before slipping to a new group and widening. “Oh I almost forgot,” he chirped. “Don’t you know only two hours after your ass rolled out of here the other night, your new little friend had a posse of tattooed m
en invade this motherfucker?!”
“Why didn’t you call me, Charlie,” I asked as I leaned forward and scolded him. He shrugged and held his hands up.
“So sorry but this bitch is busy!” That was always his defense. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to talk more. “See those guys on the other side,” he asked as he pointed off to our left and across the Ring. I could see two big black trucks and five men standing around talking, smoking and drinking. I recognized Markham from the other night and noticed that the guy he sat with had a tattoo on his neck though from his distance I could not make the image out. I gripped the sides of the bleacher and exhaled heavily.
“It has to be them,” I said quietly, more to myself than to Charlie.
“Oh it’s the guy you had me looking for. Three have the neck tattoos and two have their wrists marked,” he replied and turned to look at me. “Baby girl, I hope you aren’t going to start trouble with those bitches,” he shook his head. “They are hardcore and I need you around to finish my Bel Air.” We both cracked a smile and then turned to watch the men again.
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