“We all have memories we must overcome, Jer. Although, if we are fortunate, they aren’t as devastating as hers. Or yours.” He raised an eyebrow as his brother flinched. “Gabe wrote and told me how you were affected after Nicholas’s deployment.”
Jeremy bowed his head. “This is not about me,” Jeremy murmured. “This is about Savannah. About keeping her safe.”
Richard tapped his fingers on the desk and frowned. “I love Savannah. She is a wonderful woman, and I know how much you love her. But you’re my brother, Jer. I’ll always worry about you. About how this affects you too.” He cleared his throat. “When I realized Flo was pregnant with our last baby, I visited Uncle Aidan.”
He paused, as though envisioning that scene last December. “I was terrified that we would lose the baby. That Flo would die. I didn’t know how to find joy every day because I dreaded the future.” His gaze was filled with a mixture of relief, anguish and hope. “I know what you and Savannah have faced is worse. What you fear is more profound than I can imagine. But, in a small way, I understand, Jer.” He rose when Jeremy dropped his head in his hands as his shoulders shook. Richard sat in the other chair, next to his brother, and squeezed his shoulder.
“I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her. And yet I don’t want this time, the time before the baby comes, to be one of mourning. Of half joy.” He swiped at his face and pulled out a handkerchief. “I hate that the joy I should feel at the birth of my child is missing.”
“What does Melinda know?”
Jeremy took a deep breath and forestalled any more tears from falling. “That we are expecting a baby and that her mother needed to see a specialist. Not that Savannah is in any grave danger.” He watched as his brother nodded in approval. “She’s young enough that some of her innocence and naive optimism should be protected.”
“If you believe you are hiding your true feelings from her, you’re a fool. I thought I had hidden my fear from my boys, and even young Calvin knew something was wrong.” Richard sighed. “What can I do, Jer?”
“What did you do?” he whispered. “How did you find joy in today and not worry about tomorrow?”
Richard shook his head. “I talked with Florence. I discovered she was as scared as I was and needed my support as much as I needed hers.” He smiled. “And then I tried to focus on what I had—rather than what I feared I’d lose.” He shrugged. “I won’t lie and say I was always successful, but it helped.”
“I don’t want to frighten Savannah with the depth of my worry.”
Richard laughed and leaned against the back of his chair. “If you think she isn’t as worried as you are, you’re an idiot, not a fool. She’s the one who has to go through labor. She’s the one who might die.” He sobered as his brother paled. “Share the fear with her. It will make the burden lighter.”
Jeremy nodded and let out a deep breath. “I have a favor to ask of you. It might not be fair, but …” He paused as Richard nodded. “Come to Newport with Uncle. Let us all be together, in a house by the sea, with our families.”
Richard glanced at the shop through a grimy window and then nodded. “Yes. I know Florence could use a break from the city, and it would do her good to be around family. I think the baby and the boys are running her ragged.”
Jeremy smiled and tapped him on his shoulder. “I heard Aidan is inviting Sophronia too. Seems he rented a large place.”
“I hope he took out insurance for its contents. When my boys are set loose, nothing will be safe.” He shared a smile with his brother before rising and moving back behind his desk. “Come to dinner before we leave for Newport. I want you to finally meet them.”
* * *
Zylphia embraced Savannah, holding her closer than usual for a long period of time. “I’m so happy for you,” she whispered as she pulled back. “Mother couldn’t keep the good news to herself.”
“We are delighted but worried,” Savannah said as she held Jeremy’s arm.
Zylphia clasped Teddy’s hand and smiled bravely at Savannah and Jeremy. “My mother explained the concerns, and I can imagine your fears, but Teddy has a friend who is a doctor at the Laying-In Hospital. I’m certain he’d be able to aid you.” She moved with them into the sitting room, and they sat.
Savannah and Jeremy nodded their thanks. “I’d prefer to speak to a few doctors to determine who I trust with my wife’s and child’s welfare.” Jeremy smiled at Savannah. “Some would say I’m overprotective.”
“Then they’re fools,” Teddy murmured. He turned to his wife. “Don’t you have a suffragist friend who is a doctor?”
Zylphia sat up excitedly. “Oh, you must meet Eliza! She’s brilliant.” At Savannah’s curious look, Zylphia continued. “She’s an osteopathic physician who learned a new technique in Germany before the war that helps women so they don’t suffer so much pain during delivery. It’s called Twilight Sleep.”
“Twilight Sleep?” Savannah asked, her brows furrowed. “I don’t know as I like the sound of that.”
“Oh, it’s absolutely brilliant. You don’t feel a thing and will have no memory of the birth or pain.” Zylphia nodded her head encouragingly and then frowned as Savannah paled.
Savannah shook her head, as though clearing it of old memories. “I already had a similar birth and lost my daughter due to that. I have no desire to be insensate again and lose another child.”
Zylphia paled. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” She looked to Teddy in a moment of panic, and he cleared his throat.
“I’m certain whatever you deem appropriate will aid you to have a healthy baby.” He looked at his wife as she fought a giggle.
“You couldn’t have sounded more formal, or British, if you had tried.” She stroked a hand down his arm.
“Well, I am British, and we don’t tend to discuss such matters in a drawing room.”
Savannah sighed. “This is why I hate Boston Society. You never talk about anything of importance, but prattle on about so-and-so’s dress or who danced with whom or who hopes to catch someone in marriage. It’s all so pointless.”
“I fear Melinda doesn’t find it as boring or inane as you do,” Jeremy said. “She can’t wait for the dance parties in Newport.”
Zylphia smiled as she sipped at her tea. “You may not enjoy them, but they are rather fun. Especially the ones held at the mansions on the coast. You can wander the lawns, listen to the waves, dance under the moonlight.” She gave a flirtatious smile at Teddy. “And this year I have my dance partner with me.”
“I’m surprised you’d want to go to Newport, rather than be in Washington, DC,” Jeremy said. “I would have thought you would return to your suffragist activities.”
Zylphia’s bright smile dimmed. “I find I have no desire to return there. I want to remain here, with Teddy. I hope the bill in Congress will pass, and then I can work to ratify the amendment here in Massachusetts.”
Savannah swallowed her bite of tea cake and chuckled. “The president can’t say he is for the ‘reign of law based on the consent of the governed’ when half of those governed don’t have a say in the matter.” She shared an amused smile with her family. “I thought Rowena’s commentary about the president’s Fourth of July speech illuminating.”
“Eviscerating, you mean,” Teddy muttered. “The man is an idiot if he thinks he can say he supports the cause in January and then do nothing more to ensure the passage of the bill in Congress.”
“Did you know that women from the NWP sat outside his office for weeks in May in an attempt to speak with him, and he ignored them?” Zylphia asked. “The president passed up his opportunity to speak with them for games of golf. His secretary wrote them a note, after they spent all those fruitless hours in vain, stating that they could say nothing more to increase the president’s interest in the issue and that the president had already done all he could for the passage of the amendment.” She shook her head in incredulity.
“Hogwash,” Jeremy said with a twinkle in his eyes. “He
’s still a barrier to your success, even though he acts and speaks as though he’s a proponent. It’s as though he’s worried about his public image.”
“And that public image clearly clashes with his personal convictions,” Savannah said. “For, if he were truly in favor of the amendment and universal suffrage, he would be more vocal.”
Zylphia sighed. “Thank God for small mercies, and I didn’t have to sit through weeks of pointless mornings waiting for an audience. Poor Ro.”
Savannah bit her lip as she fought a giggle. She set down her teacup. “Will Rowena join us in Newport, or will she remain in Washington?”
Zylphia grimaced. “Her father, the overbearing tyrant that he is, insists that she leave Washington for a while and cease making such a spectacle of herself.” She shook her head. “Although he seems to believe she is chaining herself to statues and wrapping her body in banners, she merely writes.”
“You know the pen can have more power than anything, love,” Teddy said with a sardonic smile. “And Rowena has a wonderful way of highlighting this administration’s hypocrisy.”
“I imagine her father merely wants to protect her,” Jeremy said.
Zylphia did an impersonation of Sophronia’s harrumph, earning a smile from Savannah. “No. He wants to protect his business dealings, and too many of the men he works with fear his daughter’s radicalism will affect their profits.”
“Be thankful Uncle Aidan doesn’t feel the same,” Jeremy said with a wink to his cousin.
Zylphia blushed with pride at the mention of her father and of his support for her causes. “Anyway, Ro will be with us for most of our stay in Newport. I imagine, after months of hard work in Washington, she will be looking forward to a break.” She shuddered. “I can’t imagine wanting to remain in that heat and humidity.”
Savannah studied Zylphia. “Does Miss Paul accept that you wish to remain here? I can’t imagine she is pleased with your absence.”
Zylphia shrugged and pasted on a false smile. “She accepted my refusal to return …”
“After three letters,” Teddy muttered, his silver eyes flashing with annoyance.
“And I hope she understands my dedication to the cause has not waned, even though I remain geographically distant.”
“The woman is worse than a damn terrier, the way she harassed you to return,” Teddy said, his cheeks flushed with agitation. “And, yes, I understand that is her way of achieving goals and that tenacity should be esteemed. But she should also accept that you know your own mind.” He heaved out a breath and calmed as his wife caressed a hand over his arm, lacing her fingers with his.
Melinda burst into the room. “Zee!” she shrieked, throwing herself into her cousin’s arms, toppling both into the settee as Zylphia rose to embrace her. “Finally you are here to visit us.”
Zylphia chuckled. “You could visit me at my house, Melly. I don’t live here anymore.” She tucked her cousin under an arm and held her to her side. “I’ve missed you.”
“Are you coming to Newport? Will you teach me to dance? To speak properly?” She bit her lip as she shared her fears with her cousin, ignoring her parents in the room. “I don’t want to look like a fool.”
Zylphia let out a stuttering breath. “I fear, no matter what you do, you will be perceived as a country bumpkin. You don’t have the snobbish shine or polish that these people have perfected over years of events.” She gave Melly a gentle squeeze.
“But they’ll gossip about me,” Melly said.
“Either way they’ll gossip,” Savannah said. “These people don’t live on food but gossip. And scandal.”
Zylphia’s gaze homed in on Savannah for a moment before focusing on Melinda again. “What you should know is that I never mastered the art of proper conversation either. I was too curious, showed too much interest and could never feign boredom.”
“Why do you want to go through life bored?” Melinda asked, frowning as the adults in the room laughed.
“Exactly, dear cousin. Exactly.” Zylphia paused at the lull in conversation and addressed Savannah. “Did you want to see your former sitting room? See what I did with it?” She smiled at Jeremy as he seemed interested in the offer. “I know I wrote you about it, but you might find it more interesting to see it.”
“I would like to see that it is much altered from the last time we were here,” Jeremy said. He shared a look with Savannah, recalling the day he and Florence had burst into Savannah’s sitting room and rescued her from a beating at her husband’s hands. “You left here with little more than the clothes on your back to live with Sophie.”
Zylphia smiled at them. “Sophie will be delighted to have you in Boston again. Although I should warn you that she will attempt to have some society affair for you that will benefit the cause in some way.”
“I will never enter Boston Society again. The murmurs of my return have already been more than I cared to contemplate.” Savannah rose. “Come. Show me my old sitting room.”
Melinda jumped up. “May I come too?” At her mother’s nod, she gave a small whoop and looped her arm through Zylphia’s. “What was it like before?”
“Dark. Gray. With heavy curtains and uncomfortable furniture,” Zylphia said. She winked at Teddy as he remained behind in the conservatory.
“Sophie said it reminded her of an undertaker’s office,” Savannah said with a hint of a smile. She giggled as Melinda gaped at her. “My first husband was not known for his good taste.”
“Except for marrying you, Mother,” Melinda said with a smile. She frowned as the adults shifted uncomfortably. “Why is it that you react like that every time I speak about him in a favorable way?”
Savannah looked at Melinda, who now stood beside Zylphia in the upstairs hallway outside Savannah’s old sitting room. “He was a mean man and took little pleasure in caring for me. He was nothing like your father,” Savannah said. “The day I became a widow was one of the best days of my life.” She smiled as her daughter’s mouth fell open. “Which is shocking for a woman to say, but it is true.”
Zylphia looked at Melinda. “When you marry, Melly, be wise in your choice. For it is hard to undo such a decision.” She turned and opened the door, grinning as she heard the gasps from Savannah and Jeremy.
The room was bathed in late-afternoon light with no curtains adorning the windows. Painted a soft cream color, the walls and ceiling ricocheted the bright sunlight, giving the room an even brighter, airier feel. A settee and a chair were in the room, along with a blank palette. However, the room had a sense of disuse.
“What do you think?” Zylphia asked. She smiled as Savannah gaped at the room. The heavy dark furniture had disappeared, and a sense of openness enveloped them.
“I feel like I’ve never been here before,” Savannah breathed. “There are no memories in this room.”
Zylphia grinned at her. “I should think not. My father surprised me with this room for my first Christmas in the house, and he had already done the major alterations. I continued to trim away everything that distracted me from my painting, and I liked the bright light that flows into this room, allowing me to truly see my art.”
“Is the room ever used now?” Jeremy asked.
Zylphia shook her head. “Not unless the servants have an interest in art, and they come here to doodle.” She shrugged. “The house is immense. Once I moved out, my parents have had rooms they rarely enter.”
Savannah nodded. “I never understood the need for such a monstrosity. But Jonas had a need to impress.”
Melinda crinkled her nose. “That doesn’t seem like Uncle Aidan. Who does he want to impress?”
Jeremy laughed. “No one, imp. He bought the house to help Savannah and me. And to protect us from any more gossip. He is generous and will do what he can to protect and aid his family.”
Melinda smiled. “He’s a McLeod.”
Jeremy tugged her to his side. “Yes, thank God, he is.”
* * *
Two days before
departing for Newport, Melinda set out for a walk around Boston with her grandfather. She watched as he donned a hat and smiled as he looked dapper in a crisp beige linen suit.
He caught her smiling at him and grinned at her, winging his elbow out to her. “My father, your great-grandfather, always taught me that I was the best advertisement for the store when I walked around town in fine linens.”
“And he was right,” she said. She wore a simple blue day dress with a straw hat. “I fear my clothes are too plain.”
“It’s not just what you wear but how you wear them. Smile, have good posture and exude confidence. You could wear dun-colored sacks and still attract notice, if you were confident.”
Melinda giggled. “That’s silly, Gramps.” She bit her lips as his jaw tightened at the nickname. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more proper.”
“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “Please call me Gramps. You have no idea what it means to me to know you at last.” He walked with her down a small residential street until they came to a block with brick bow-fronted homes lining a central park area. “Do you remember this at all?”
At the shake of her head, he led her to a specific home. “This was where you were born. Where Clarissa, Colin and Patrick were raised.” He frowned at the peeling paint along the door and window frames, the dirty windows and the air of disrepair clinging to the building. “I hate to say this, but the area is in decline. At one time, this was one of the most fashionable neighborhoods in Boston.”
He urged her to continue walking. “Now, where Aidan McLeod lives is where everyone desires to reside.” Their stroll took them through the South End toward the Back Bay. They walked across Commonwealth Avenue with its grassy tree-lined middle parkway and on toward the Charles River.
Melinda sniffed. “It smells funny.”
“That’s the hint of the ocean. The salt from the sea. It has its own scent.”
Melinda wrinkled her nose. “I think I’d rather smell a pine forest.” She flushed as her grandfather roared with laughter. “Is that Boston too?” she asked as the pointed across the river. The river sparkled in the bright sunlight, and sailboats floated up and down the river.
Abiding Love: Banished Saga, Book Eight Page 15