Bringing his lips to mine, he kissed me like I was a drug he craved more than life. His lips tracked across my cheek and down to the curve of my shoulder before he traced the swell of my breast and kissed around my nipple. My back swayed as he picked me up and I felt my body sail through a chilly breeze as he laid me on the bed. With my body burning against his, he inhabited me with his stare, and I let him have me with his mouth. Max was confident with what turned me on; he knew how to bring me to the verge of ignition before he twisted me into the waves of ecstasy. His lips pressed deliciously against the inside of my thigh before his tongue tasted me. I knotted my hands in the sheets. I was drenched in such desire, and I wanted to feel his whole body against mine. I was aching to feel him connect with me in the way we’d already promised each other.
“I want you—” I moaned. I pressed my head into the bed, arched my back, and snatched at his hair. Hot and cold sparked inside my body as his tongue swirled and dabbled against me. He owned me and he knew it. I moaned deeply as his sultry bedroom eyes danced up across my stomach and over my breasts before telling me that he wanted me too.
Max dragged his chest up between my thighs and the pressure of his movement across my pelvis drove me insane. I was ready. My whole body was burning for him. Instinctual motion took over my whole lower half and my hips swayed. Our eyes locked and his smile captivated me. He was the most beautiful person I’d ever looked at in my entire life. He was all I wanted at that moment.
I felt him press his erection against me and I knew he was more than ready. With his body heavy against mine, his muscles flexed as he stretched to his nightstand and pulled at the drawer. His hair fell across his eyes as he looked over at me, and his grin told me what he was doing, as the cool air caressed my body. Slinking back slowly, Max soaked up my entire body with his sexy gaze. He tore open the condom as our eyes remained locked. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as he adeptly unrolled the condom over his erection.
I stretched my hands above my head, feeling my ribs spread, catching my breath. The muscles in my stomach tightened as Max slid his hands along the curves of my hips. His lips planted kisses at every inch between my navel and my mouth. His kisses drank away all my fears. His stomach, firm against the apex of my legs, pushed me closer to the edge with every upward motion. Max’s eyes never left mine.
I relaxed the muscles in my thighs. Words wouldn’t bring any more clarity to our moment. I was telling him with my body that I wanted to be engulfed by him, and I craved to feel him push. I wanted to help him heal. He pulled back and I watched his lips tighten as he tilted his head slightly to let me know he wanted to make love. I felt him push, filling me as my breath caught high in my chest. He stopped, and with his eyes, he asked if he could continue. I instinctively let my knees drop as chills rushed my skin and the heat that was building began to steam to an unbelievable temperature. He thrust his hips a little deeper. I accepted him. My muscles released, and he was perfect. His expression held me captive as he let out a low, lengthy breath. Finally we were one. He pushed further, and all at once, my body knew what to do. I swayed, he moaned, and we were finally experiencing the pinnacle of our reason for waiting. Tears swelled in the corners of my eyes. Our rhythm was slow to begin with, cautiously experiencing something brand new, but then sped to the beats of our hearts. Each sway and movement of his hips created a swell of sensation that robbed my breath and propelled me further into being his—entirely.
“I love you, Wilson,” Max panted as he began to shudder. The momentum was building as if we were becoming one being. At the same time, a wave of ecstasy broke and crashed between us, causing me to quake and lose my breath. He dropped heavily against my chest and his hands tangled in my hair as he kissed me feverishly. I needed to breathe but welcomed the weight of his body securing me. Eternity could’ve passed us by and I wouldn’t have noticed. The tears that had been collecting in my eyes now flooded over their ledges and across my temples, becoming tickling reminders of what we’d given each other.
I felt Max’s heart slow down, and his breath was refreshing as he kissed dry my tears. His face, ripe with concern, asked whether it was too much at once for me. As he shifted to lay beside me, cold suddenly reclaimed my skin and chills vibrated throughout my body. Max pulled the blanket over us, pulled me tight to his chest, and let his big, muscular leg drape across mine.
“Are you okay?” he whispered across my ear.
I couldn’t say anything; didn’t have words. I didn’t want to bumble like an idiot or cry like a lunatic, so I just nodded my head. I wanted to tell him I was more than okay—that what we did changed me forever—but I couldn’t find the voice to speak.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Concern splashed across his face, like he suddenly realized that was a possibility.
“No, it was perfect,” I choked. I felt the swell of salty tears retrace their paths down the same lines he’d just kissed away.
“Perfect? Really? You don’t think we could practice at getting better?” His voice caressed the butterflies that now lay dormant, worn out, and satisfied. I felt his lips pull into a smile as he pressed his nose across my ear and cleared my tears with his thumbs.
“I never imagined how intense and personal it was going to be, especially with someone I am totally and completely in love with,” I whispered.
“Mmm humm,” he managed, his breath warm against the side of my face, before his body became heavy and his breathing deepened into slow, long, rhythmic breaths. He was at peace—content, secure, and totally with me.
I didn’t want to fall asleep next to him, though. Not only was I still reeling from everything that just happened, I also wanted to watch him and take care of him. My heart pounded and my mind swirled with thoughts of us being together forever. I pressed my ear to his chest and heard his heart beat. It was a rhythm I could get lost in. My eyes closed, and for the first time in my life, I was truly home.
Chapter Twenty-two
We lay tangled together, our bodies steeping at a comfortable temperature that kept us from moving. Max’s body was my cocoon and I didn’t want anything to disrupt our moment. Still, the muscles in my body wanted to stretch, bend, and move—like a new butterfly just discovering it’s freshly sprung wings.
Upon the sun’s first delicate glimmer Max stirred, stretching his arm and leg over my torso before tucking me tighter under his body. I wanted to live in his arms forever; wanted to listen to his breathing as he held me, consumed in his embrace.
I felt him press into the mattress as he shifted and raised his head to look at me. With me still wrapped in his arms, he smiled and kissed the tip of my nose.
“Mmmm, good morning,” Max said as his voice warmed up to being used.
“Good morning,” I answered.
I loved waking up next to him. His touch protected me and his smell charmed me—even his tone worked to balance me. But I didn’t want to be the one to set the conversation in motion. I was so scared I’d wake up and realize what happened between us last night wasn’t real. And I sure as hell didn’t want to face the reality that he had so much more to deal with than making me feel good about what we did last night. It was perfect. Better than perfect—it was us, untainted and unaware of the world’s judgmental rhetoric about our irresponsibility or thoughtless choices. Last night was so much more than anyone could measure.
Max ran his fingers across his temple as he tugged his hair away from his bottomless, green eyes. I was so caught in his web. He could devour me and there was nothing I would do to stop him. I couldn’t flutter free or escape the trance he had over me.
I felt him lean against me. His lips were soft and scrumptious as we tasted what I’d always known from the first time we kissed—I was his entirely.
He dragged the covers down, slowly exposing me to the room’s temperature. His eyes, thirsty, drank from my body.
“You are unbelievable. Mmmm, I wanna live here with you.” He pressed his lips just above my navel before he
slid upward. “And here,” he added as he pressed his mouth against my breast. For that moment the world outside his room didn’t exist.
I felt my body answer his requests. My stomach twirled and crashed down in my groin. My hands pulled at his hair. I wanted to feel him kiss me; to map his way back to my lips with the tip of his tongue.
The sun scorched through the picture window, heating my skin, to match the glow he sparked inside me.
He brushed his lips across my collarbone as he inhaled, pressing his nose against my neck. At last he lined up his body even with mine and I could feel him. He stole my heart and teased my butterflies all at once with his sweet aroma.
“Wilson,” his breath tickled at the curves of my ear. His voice clung to every space in my body that craved him. I knew that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
“Mmmhum,” I hummed.
“Last night was—incredible. You were incredible, you drove me wild.” He pushed his body tighter against mine and his words spurred flames to dance across my skin.
“Really?” I asked incredulously.
I didn’t mean to question how extraordinary he was last night. What we did was amazingly tender, infinitely thoughtful, emotionally scary, and ever-evolving; but I didn’t know to how to react to his words.
He froze, pulling away just enough to make eye contact with me. “You’re serious? You really don’t know?”
“I guess not. I know how you made me feel last night, and I will never forget it, ever…”
“Well, put it this way—I don’t want to ever have to imagine a moment without you next to me ever again.”
I felt my butterflies pulsate to his words as they stroked their wings deep within me.
“Well, you won’t have to.” I stretched up to taste him, kiss him, and let him know I felt the same way. His lips were hot, his tongue exciting, and his intentions spellbinding. I felt the connections we had last night beginning to rekindle. Pushing himself against me again, his hands traveled across my chest and lingered at the curve of my breasts.
I felt my body give way to what my mind already knew. I loved him. I felt something inside of me click and I was hungry for his touch. I literally craved him. Our bodies began to dance in rhythm again as our mouths found each new desire.
Kisses kept coming from Max as his body curled on top of me and his feet pushed my ankles apart. With his legs in between mine, his hips pressed against the zone where all my butterflies lingered. It was instinctual for me to push in and pull away, stroking every desire that swelled within. I felt his intentions of becoming one with me again when the thought of what we’d done last night flooded my soul—and in an instant, it became something different in my eyes.
God—I’m aching to feel him again. What does that make me? He’s hurting and broken and all I want is to feel him against me. What’s wrong with me? Was it the right choice to make love with him? Was it selfish of me to be with him last night? Were we just using each other to heal all the pain?
“Wilson? Where are you?” Max asked as he caressed my forehead. His eyes were narrow with the same intense stare he’d given me yesterday.
“I’m here with you—but maybe I shouldn’t be.” The words clogged my throat. “Maybe it wasn’t the best time for—God, I was so single-minded—did I really take into account how you—how we were going to be affected by this?” I wiggled out from under him. I felt like I’d used him; maybe even that we’d used each other. Not that we didn’t love each other or that we weren’t going to make love soon enough, one day. But the night his father died? Did we do it because we loved each other, or was it to heal the gaping hole created by the grim reaper snatching such an important person from his life?
“What are you talking about, Wilson? I don’t understand. Everything that we did last night—our connection and the love we made—was so much more important to me than you know. There was nothing to consider for me. I love you.” He grabbed either side of my head, his hands pressing gently at my ears. “I wanted you to feel how much I love you. Last night, when I made love to you, I wanted to give you that part of me I’ve shut off to everyone else in the world.” His eyes widened as he sat up and turned to sit on the edge of the bed.
A chill rippled through my body when his touch left my cheeks. The sunlight bounced off his bronze skin, but his face was pasty with a loss beyond his realization. Maybe he feels like I used him last night. A moment hung between us before he mumbled words that I didn’t expect. “You weren’t ready and now you regret being with me.” He looked over at me, his frothy green eyes wrecked.
Pain shot across my heart as my mouth ran dry. I’d done it again. In my selfish attempt to justify the fucked-up feelings I had swirling in my head, I’d hurt him.
“I don’t regret being with you.” I bent down in front of him, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “Max, I wanted you so bad and you made me feel so alive, and so important; but was it fair to you? I wanted to fix you, complete you, and make you feel whole again. Even if I couldn’t heal you, I wanted to try. Was it the right thing to do? I don’t know.” My heart was breaking with what I kept doing to him—first with Mallory and now this.
“It felt right to me. I’m as put together as I will ever be. When I’m with you, I’m exactly who I am supposed to be.”
“But was it right to feel so wonderful on the worst day of your life? Was it okay to forget about every ounce of your pain while experiencing so much pleasure?” I hiccupped as I felt the ripples of guilt spread through my body. Max held my chin as his eyes cased my face. His lips pulled tight across in a straight line before they curved up into a sincere smile.
“Yes, it was perfect. You took me to a place where I didn’t have to worry about being healed or fixed. It wasn’t about that. We experienced something nobody will ever be able to touch or take away. What you gave me I will cherish for as long as I live.” His eyes glazed with the hope that he’d convinced me with his brave words.
I slid up into his arms, pushing him back onto the bed. Our skin, still cold from being apart, reconnected with a new eagerness. I melted in his touch, yet froze in his embrace. He was right—it wasn’t about anyone or anything we had to do to forget about all the pain, it was about giving each other the most sacred part of our souls.
“I love you,” I whispered lightly into his neck. I felt his hands refresh their grip across my back as he pulled me tighter against his chest.
“Me too,” he answered.
I felt Max shift his body as he got up and held out his arm to me. When I didn’t move he shook his hand and said “I need to take a shower. I want you to take one with me.”
I lay there staring at his beautifully sculptured body—muscles thick and defined under his skin, complexion so scorching hot my hands ran damp, and sensual green eyes so encouraging they could hypnotize me into doing just about anything he’d ask. How could I not want to watch the water cascade, bounce, roll, and shimmer across every inch of his body?
I gulped extra loudly before I reached out and accepted his hand. He pulled me into his arms, our bodies still naked, our eyes still captivated by each other. His arms swallowed me into his heat.
He opened a door adjacent to his bedroom and led me into his unbelievable bathroom. The walls were treated with a textured suede in a shade of forest green. Plush burgundy towels hung from contemporary aged brass racks accentuating the size of his etched glass double shower. Two massive showerheads were suspended from the light cocoa-colored ceiling. Brown granite, rich with earthen greens, spread from the entry all the way up the walls without stopping. I pressed my feet into the burgundy shag rug and enjoyed my view of the muscles in Max’s back, stretching and constricting as he pulled on the water. He cupped the sprinkling water as it overflowed and cascaded across his wrist and forearm. The sound of the water rhythmically exploding against the granite evoked an urge in me to feel the warmth of the water roll across my own skin. In no time, steam built, swirling around his body before rising up.
“Yeah, real hot,” I whispered.
He stepped into the stream and I watched the water swallow him from his head down to his toes. His black hair lengthened around his ears and across his eyes before he tilted his head back and pushed his hair off his face. Streams of water tangled in his eyebrows and then rolled down across his nose and mouth as he parted his lips, letting the water trickle in. I stared as the shower drowned his shoulders, chest, and stomach before dripping down between his legs. I felt my nipples tighten and my groin ripple as Max grabbed my hand and pulled me into a kiss. I felt the water wash over my body, dripping from the edges of my ears, nose, and chin. I felt the water hurry down my spine and chest, water falling from the tips of my nipples and the curve of my rear. My skin escalated to meet the temperature of the hot water as it danced across my stomach and rushed down to the spaces in between.
Max pulled me closer and the water cocooned us. With his lips near my ear, I could hear the water flow over his mouth as he spoke in a raspy, grinding voice.
“Oh babe, you’re so hot.” His arms pressed heavily across my shoulders as his body tightened and he pushed his hard length below my navel. I slipped my hands past the small of his back and down to his rear; I wanted to feel his muscles tighten beneath my fingers the next time he thrust his hips against mine.
“How hot?” I huffed and teased before running my tongue down to his chest to suck his nipple.
“Oh so fucking hot,” he growled as he slid his hand down my stomach, pressing his fingers between my legs and biting my lip between his teeth as he kissed me.
I lost my breath. Without waiting I grabbed him and began slowly stroking. My desire to feel him inside me grew low in my body. I felt the love between us as he massaged me. I wanted to melt into it. He was taking me to a point of no return.
“Hold on, wait, I don’t want to—aahhh,” he grimaced as he pulled himself away from my grasp. He blew out a couple of fast breaths and raised his head into the water—anything he could do to stop from exploding.
Wilson Mooney Eighteen at Last Page 15