Setting the camera on the coffee table, Ciara rushed close. "What a good girl!"
The adults kissed and hugged Carolina, and when Bryce laughed and held the baby up above him, telling her how proud he was of her, Carolina blinked at them, tears filling her eyes. Her lip curled down.
"Uh-oh," Bryce said, holding her close as Carolina burst into tears.
"Oh dear," Ciara said with a smile, her own eyes glossy. She stroked the baby's head, whispering soft words of praise. The baby sniffled and finally looked between the adults. Ciara clapped softly and the baby mimicked her. Ciara bubbled with laughter and she bent and kissed her charge.
When she straightened, she met Bryce's gaze, grinning. "Something, huh?"
"Yeah," he said his gaze sketching her features. She was so close he could smell her perfume.
"She's been practicing all afternoon. I was hoping she'd wait 'til you got here."
"Thanks for letting her come to me."
"Well, it's only fitting that I do the work around here and you get all the fun stuff," she teased.
"You're done a great job with her, Ciara. Thank you."
"You're welcome." Ciara's gaze searched his and when she started to move back, Bryce slipped his hand behind her neck and pulled her toward him.
She braced her hands on his chest. "Bryce, I don't think—"
"Don't think, Ciara. For God's sake, don't. I'm not."
His mouth pressed warmly to hers and she moaned at the warm contact, trying, in her mind, to resist, yet her heart refused to be ignored. She wanted this man. She wanted more than she had a right to, but that didn't stop her from sinking into his kiss, worrying his lips until he crushed hers beneath his own.
It was like coming home, a welcome back, soft and tender and filled with banked passion. Oh, how I've missed him, she thought and gripped his shoulder, longing for the feel of his strength against her, for the moment when she couldn't tell where she ended and he began.
His kiss grew stronger, his head shifting back and forth to take more and give more.
Bryce felt as if he were drinking in pure joy. She'd driven him insane with desire for those first days and now he was just plain hungry for the sight of her. For the sounds she made, to be close enough to hear her breathing, feel her warmth. Carnal pleasures were outweighed with his want of her, of the woman, to uncover her secrets and share some of his own. He hadn't wanted to feel this way, hadn't wanted to get involved with her, but he admitted that she'd invaded him for five years and there was no use in battling for twenty more. He deepened his kiss, pushing his tongue between her lips and she answered with a deep throaty moan that set his nerves endings on fire.
It wasn't enough. He needed to feel her skin and reached…
Carolina squirmed between them, crying out her discomfort, and slowly they parted, stealing short quick kisses before looking down at the baby in his lap.
"Da-da! Moooo," the baby said, smiling.
Bryce blinked. "Is she calling me a cow?"
"Better you than me," Ciara muttered, her mouth and body tingling from his kiss.
He lifted his daughter off his lap and set her on the floor. Carolina immediately tried to stand and plopped down on her behind.
"I've got a few days before she starts running at least."
Bryce didn't say anything, his gaze shifting from his daughter to the woman he wanted more than just in his bed. He wasn't sure where this relationship was going, but he wasn't willing to discard it, either. Staying away from Ciara had given him nothing but sleepless nights and endless days of work trying to push her image out of his mind. But she was ingrained there. Lately, he found himself reasoning out why he should open this dangerous door more often than listening to the warnings of the past year.
Wanting her body beneath his had little to do with it. It was the woman she was, his mind finally separating a one-night fantasy from the real person kneeling on the floor with his daughter. He looked forward to glimpses of her, and conversation with her no matter how stilted. And for some reason, seeing her with his daughter made him want her more. Bryce still wasn't certain he wanted to take a chance and he would settle for simply being near her. Without fighting, without pushing, and hopefully she wouldn't close him out.
Because he didn't know what else to do.
Ciara had haunted him for five years, and ignoring the ghost of his past was a hell of a lot easier on his heart than ignoring the flesh-and-blood woman.
Especially when all it took was one look from her to grab him by the throat and hold him hostage.
"Bryce?"
He cocked his head, his gaze sliding over her. "Yeah."
"Watch Carolina. Dinner is ready." The timer sounded in the background. Ciara barely heard it. He was looking at her as if he wanted to swallow her whole.
He stood and offered her a hand up. She accepted and the motion brought her against him. He didn't wrap his arms around her like he wanted, didn't kiss her like he wanted and simply said, "You're dining with us, right?"
She hesitated for a moment and he felt his own breathing stagger.
"Sure," she said, a little lost when he smiled at her like that.
"Okay, I'll chase Carolina," he said, loosening his tie. "While you serve dinner up."
He went after his daughter as Ciara turned toward the kitchen, pausing once to frown back at him and wonder what was going on.
Neither of them were known for their restraint. And when he was this close, Ciara felt like a thread about to snap.
* * *
Chapter 7
« ^ »
Don't think I'm not, he'd said.
Ciara had thought, she had kept her guard about her. That kiss had ended gently. A normal lovers' kiss.
Except they weren't lovers.
They weren't anything except adversaries.
All through dinner he'd watched her, staring at her in a way she couldn't understand. She liked understanding, being completely involved, and informed of what was going on around her. It's what made her a good agent.
But right now she felt as if she were losing a grip on that. On her ability to judge quickly and stick by it. On her ability to size up a situation in seconds and take action. But with Bryce, he was worse than listening to interference on the satellite waves. Nothing but static.
She'd been in control all her adult life. Had been promoted quickly, recognized by the agency enough times to know she was good at her job. But she was also cautious and efficient.
Not cautious enough to learn about Mark, a voice in her head prodded.
Yeah, well, Ciara thought. No excuse there. Call it a bad hormone day.
Was she just having another string of those? She just couldn't figure out what Bryce was up to lately. He wanted her. She wanted him. They were adults. It should be easy. Like it was five years ago. But he hadn't been a father then. He hadn't been a widower who'd secluded himself in a southern mansion deep in the low country because he still mourned the loss of his wife.
Ciara wasn't stupid. His sister Hope had said that Bryce and his wife had known each other one night. He'd gotten her pregnant and had done the right thing in his book, and married her. Ciara wasn't surprised he did. He was an honorable sort of guy, but that didn't mean he hadn't adored her. Hadn't loved her madly.
Love, Ciara scoffed, had gotten her into trouble with Mark Faraday because it had long-term leftover feelings to deal with. Love, in her job, made her soft. And sleeping with Bryce Ashland wasn't wise. It would ingrain her deeper in his life.
Then she realized he had a life.
She didn't.
She fought the thought, telling herself she did have one, it was just as isolated as his had been, according to his sister, for the past year. Except Ciara's isolation lasted longer. The other day by the pool, she'd been downright rude to him and was angered that he'd stirred so much in her, angered that she didn't have, could never have what his sister and Portia and Katey had. Futures, families, long-time friends.
> Heck, the only person she'd been in contact with from her past since she was twenty-two was Katherine Davenport and that was to get this job and hide.
Bryce lifted his gaze from his daughter and looked at her from beneath a shock of black hair. Those blue eyes hit her like a hail of arrows, nailing her taut nerves to the wall behind her.
He had that much effect on her. That much power. She didn't want it.
Yet in the same breath she admitted she craved it. She wanted to submerge herself in him and not come up for air until she was satisfied. 'Til she had enough of him to last her another five years.
Immediately she stood and gathered a few dishes, bringing them to the kitchen counter. She couldn't bear to look at him and not somehow regret her choices.
Bryce paused in feeding Carolina to study Ciara.
She'd been quiet since they'd sat down to dinner. Oh, they'd talked, but it was about everyone else, his sister, and his family. Carolina. But he could feel the tension radiating from her. He knew he shouldn't have kissed her, but it felt so natural to do it at the time. He hadn't wanted to think. He still didn't. As he'd decided earlier, he'd just not antagonize her, like he seemed to always do. He didn't want her to close him out.
He wanted Ciara open for him.
His lips curved as his mind took flight on that thought and he tried to redirect it. "Dinner was great, Ciara."
She glanced at the platters. "Yeah, it was, huh? Thanks. Haven't lost my touch, I guess."
"I bet this is a stretch from embassy work."
"I'll say," she said with feeling. "This is harder." But she enjoyed it and felt fulfilled. Weird, since that was the last thing she expected to feel being a nanny.
Carolina fussed. Loudly. Bryce lifted her out of the high chair as Ciara reached for her.
"No, relax," he said. "I'll bathe her and put her down."
Nodding, her gaze followed him as he left. Over his shoulder, Carolina whimpered for Ciara. She waved and blew her a kiss, her heart fairly exploding with love for the little girl.
She wondered what she would do when she had to leave.
Just the thought of never seeing either Bryce or Carolina again left a heavy ache in Ciara's chest. But the time was drawing close. It wouldn't take the agency long to work up a sting and apprehend Faraday. Yet the one thing that made her nervous was that Mark Faraday wasn't stupid. And he was still loose, out there somewhere and no doubt looking for her. He had to notice she wasn't around, although they'd been assigned to different teams in the past weeks before she recognized his behavior for what it was.
Finishing the dishes, she flipped on the dishwasher before she went around checking the doors and setting the alarms. She wouldn't take any chances. Not with the baby, not with Bryce. Her hands were shaking as she returned to the sunroom, to her favorite spot in the huge house. Her mind ran with thoughts of Mark Faraday finding her. Of him harming Carolina or Bryce. She dropped onto the sofa, staring out the window. The backyard was lit with flood lamps that covered the shadows and illuminated the water. Bryce's cabin cruiser rocked gently at the end of the pier next to the small johnboat. She was almost tempted to ask him for a ride in it, to see the low country from the water.
Anything, she thought, to stall this time with him.
* * *
Bryce stepped into the sunroom, knowing he'd find Ciara there. Yet he didn't expect to find her looking so sad. "Want some wine?"
She whipped around like a frightened animal. "Bryce," she gasped. "I didn't hear you." She clutched the throw pillow with a death grip.
His brows rose and he frowned. "Obviously. I'm sorry." He held out a glass of red wine and she accepted it, draining half. Then with a long sigh, she slumped deeper into the sofa.
"I needed that. Thanks." Lord, her nerves were a pitiful thing, she thought, all tattered and tender.
"You're jumpy this evening."
She absently fluffed the pillow. "No, you startled me. I thought you'd be longer."
"The walking wonder went out fast." He pointed to the ceiling and Carolina's room above them.
Ciara smiled tenderly. He beamed with so much pride, Ciara felt herself relax. Then he sat down beside her.
She eyed him.
Her constant suspiciousness amused him, and Bryce wanted to get to the root of it. Of why she shut him out all the time, why she couldn't trust herself around him.
"Hope tells me you left the Secret Service for your wife."
If a door could slam shut on his desire, that was it. His body instantly clenched and his expression darkened. "Hope has a big mouth."
"She was more concerned for me I think."
His lips quirked in a quick smile. "Yeah, she knows there's something going on here."
Something, Ciara thought. Yeah, that was about it. Something powerful, something strong. Something she shouldn't touch. Something she wanted badly. "Well? Is it true?"
He hesitated, not wanting to have this conversation with her, not now. But he found no way around it. "Yes."
Her voice lowered, soft and sympathetic. "You must have loved her a great deal."
"I didn't love her at all."
Ciara's brows shot up and she propped her elbow on the back of the sofa, and regarded him.
Bryce shifted deeper into the cushions and sighed. "I married her because of Carolina."
"I know."
Only his gaze shifted to her. "Did my big mouth sister tell you Diana had it planned."
"No, she didn't. What makes you say that?" He told her what his sister had finally revealed, about Diana planning their life out, and that Hope thought Diana wanted a family and didn't care how she got it.
"Sounds like a lonely woman who needed a family."
"She was orphaned, so I guess so, but the marriage was a mistake. She was possessive and afraid to be without me, so I left the service." He stopped, shaking his head. "I tried to love her. I wanted to love her. She was carrying my child, for pity's sake. But I couldn't, and she ended up hating me." He scraped his hand over his face, hearing the insults and rage in Diana because he couldn't love her and she'd finally understood it. "I didn't blame her."
"Why?"
"I ruined her life! I got her pregnant and she died." He started to leave the couch, but she put her hand over his.
Instantly his gaze shot to their hands, his fingers curling into hers. What if he messed up her life like he had Diana's? What if he pushed and Ciara ended up hating him?
When he tipped his head back, Ciara saw raw emotion shaping his features. She realized this is what had been hounding him, this was what she'd recognized the other day when she mentioned a guilty conscience. She understood, for in her career, she'd been faced with the same torment. Compassion swam through her and she'd suddenly recognized moments when this affected him, how tight he held to it, even when he was flirting with her.
"Bryce, listen to me." She gripped his hand tightly as if it would make him see clearer. "You're looking at the circumstances, and placing blame. Diana died of complications and she would have if she'd been pregnant by any man. Whether you loved her or not. Accident or planned, it doesn't matter now. You can't change the past. She's gone, and you have the best part of that marriage in Carolina."
Bryce held her gaze with his own, sinking into it, into her, and a wave of comfort washed over him. He didn't know if it was her understanding or the simplicity that she saw, only that he heard her. Because he was ready to hear. "Yeah, I do," he said quietly.
"And there is one thing I know for sure…"
"What's that?"
"I've been in your bed. I know she wanted to be there."
His lips curved slowly, his smile devilish and growing by the second.
Instantly Ciara wished the words back, knowing she'd just opened up a subject she'd warned herself to keep closed. "Forget I said that." Twisting away, she set the wineglass down.
"Can't," he said, his gaze traveling over her.
"Try harder, please."
Before he could stop her, she left the couch, moving to the other side of the room. Bryce could feel her closing all doors and battening down the hatches against him. He wasn't going to allow it. Not again.
"And if I don't want to?" he said.
"You don't have a choice."
He gave her one of those sexy grins that liquefied her knees. She locked them and looked toward the doorway.
Bryce had the urge to make a dive for her just to keep her there.
"You don't have one, Bryce," she warned and sounded pathetically weak to her own ears. "Can't you just let a five-year-old affair go?"
His features tightened. "You think that's why I want to be with you? Because of Hong Kong?"
He was looking at her with such earnest shock her next words came out more like a question. "Why else?"
"Lady, have you got it wrong."
She folded her arms over her middle and cocked her hip. "So tell me how, then?" Good grief, her sensible CIA mind shouted. Don't go there. Don't.
"I'll admit that I haven't forgotten about that night. I can't and I don't want to. It was one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments."
"Yeah well. Once." She wouldn't admit aloud that she'd relived it over and over until, when she was alone, she could almost taste him on her mouth. His gaze moved over her, slowly, purposely and Ciara felt her insides jingle. "I'm no different—"
He shook his head slowly. "Before, you were just a figure, a face and a touch." He saluted her with the wineglass. "Now I know the woman."
He knows only part of me, Ciara thought, and the secrets she kept sent guilt sliding through her. "Okay, I'll give you that, but you must admit that night has colored your opinion of me."
"Yes, it did. Then."
She shouldn't ask. She wouldn't. She did. "And now?"
His gaze roamed her. "Let's just say it's changed."
"Unfair. That could mean a lot of things." And his opinion meant a great deal to her. Right now, it meant everything.
"I'm not going to fill your head with compliments."
"Why not?"
He grinned and her stomach tightened. "Do you want to know that when I see you with Carolina I can feel your love for her?"
SINGLE FATHER SEEKS... Page 8