I winced as he said the word “we.” How did I not see this before? Now it was crystal clear to me where this boy’s true loyalties lay. And they were never with me.
Cindy rested her hand on Bryan’s shoulder. “Lucy, give us a few moments to consider your request. We’ll discuss it and come back with our decision.”
“Fine.” I exhaled a breath, letting my arms fall to my side. “That’s all I can ask I guess.”
Curtis looked at me, eyes glistening. “If that boy tried to save my little girl, they should at least consider it.”
The Guardian leaders, seven in all, made their way back to the turret and started discussing in hushed voices. My heart was half-hope, half-defeat. Because I knew exactly what they’d say.
“Thank you for sticking up for my baby.” Curtis swallowed hard, squeezed my shoulder, and stalked to the other side of the room.
Chapter 29
“What can you possibly be thinking? Don’t you know what you’re asking?” Bryan grabbed my hand and yanked me into the stacks flanking the antique window. “It’s too dangerous in Europe. You won’t be safe at all.”
The afternoon sunlight filtered through the old glass of the lead-paned library window. Slanted rays littered with dust motes cast shadows on Bryan’s face—shadows I couldn’t even begin to decipher. Why had he spent the past few months putting mountains of distance between us, only to go all he-man protector on me now?
I blinked and squinted at him, but nothing magically became clear. “Why do you even care?”
His jaw dropped and his mouth hung open, like he didn’t know how to fill the spaces he’d put between us. “You really don’t know? You seriously don’t think I still care about you?”
His questions bounced like darts off the protective shield I’d cocooned around my body. His words just didn’t have the same effect on me that they used to.
So I shrugged. “I don’t know, Bryan. You tell me.”
Shadows rippled across his face, undulating like waves as he reached for my other hand. “Lucy, I’m still in love with you.”
“Oh.” All the air puffed out of me with that one syllable. Those glorious words should feel different. Not like this. Instead they felt hollow and empty, an invisible hand grasping at a hologram of what we once were to each other. It just wasn’t there anymore.
“Is that all you can say?” Lines etched across his face. Maybe he felt it, too.
“I—I’m sorry,” I stammered. “I really don’t know what to say.”
“Does that mean you don’t love me anymore?” he asked, peering at me.
I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
He took a step back, dropping my hand. “Does that mean you weren’t pretending this whole semester with Will?”
“Are you kidding me?” Frustration gurgled up inside. I tried to tamp it back by balling my fists. How could we keep having the same argument, over and over? I took a second, gulped in a deep breath, and squared off to him. Maybe if I looked him in the eye, he’d finally hear me. “I’m not a very good actress. I never agreed to pretend. You know that. It’s just not who I am.”
With an emphatic huff, he stared down at his shoes. “I think I’ve always known that. You tried to tell me, but I just wouldn’t listen.”
The shadows elongated, engulfing the recesses of his face, drooping over his slumped shoulders.
After a few seconds he glanced up, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Are you in love with him?”
I froze. Maybe if I stood still as a statue he wouldn’t see right through me. But I couldn’t answer, couldn’t bear to cause him any more pain.
Cursing under his breath, he stamped his foot on the thinly carpeted concrete. As if he could stamp out the truth. But it hung there, unspoken, in the musty air.
“I really screwed this up, didn’t I?” He raked his hand through his dark hair, then turned a haunted look on me. “Is there any way to fix this? Can we ever go back to what we once were?”
I couldn’t help myself. I reached for his hand and squeezed it tight. “I just got tired of being second-place. Sometimes you just cross a line and you can never go back.”
He clamped his eyes shut, gripping my hand tighter. “We’ll see.”
I just shook my head. “No we won’t.”
Clamoring from the other side of the room broke us apart as someone called our names.
“I guess it’s time for the big decision.” I swung my hands at my sides as the awkwardness poured over me.
“Maybe it’ll be good news for once.” The corners of his mouth tipped up almost like I remembered. Like maybe he had his own plans brewing.
With halting steps, I followed his lanky form back into the center of the room. All seven of the Guardian Council members were lined up facing the rest of the group, ready to pronounce their decree. All they needed were black robes and gavels.
Well, maybe not black robes.
“We’ve finally made a decision,” Harlixton announced from his post in the middle of the line-up. “We’ve agreed to welcome Lucy and Shanda into the ranks of the Guardians if Lucy agrees to several conditions.”
“Excuse me,” I interrupted the strange pronouncement. “What about Will? His life will be in danger if you don’t give him your protection.”
Harlixton leveled his gaze at me. “I wish we would could do something to protect him. But I’m afraid we just can’t trust him. Too many objections were raised about the likelihood of him spying on us.”
“Seriously?” I choked on my own fumes. “That’s only because it’s the Guardian modus operandi. Just because it’s your weapon of choice doesn’t mean he’d do the same. Not after everything that happened.”
Harlixton held up his hands and a hush fell over the room. “I understand your objections, but we just can’t trust a Stanton. Any Stanton.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I could hear my voice raising to a new pitch, but couldn’t stop it. “I’m sure you’re missing out on a lot of good intel. Isn’t that all you people care about?”
Brooke and Laura gasped at my words. Even Cindy seemed taken aback.
Shaking his head, Harlixton’s voice softened. “We also care about the members of our group. Subjecting them to a member of the Stanton family is just not going to happen. Please accept that.”
Fury burst into flames inside me. “He can’t go back to Nexis. What’s he supposed to do?”
“He can join the Watchers or go it alone. It’s his choice.” Harlixton held out his hands and shook his head.
“The Watchers are almost as bad as Nexis,” I yelled. “You’re not giving him much of a choice. Me either, for that matter. Maybe I don’t want to be a Guardian after all.”
Someone came up beside me and rested a hand on my shoulder. I glanced over to find Tony at my side with a sympathetic look on his face. “Just hear them out,” he whispered.
“Fine.” I gulped back the sense of dread rising in my throat. “What are the conditions?”
Mark Cooper took one step forward. “First, you’ll have to turn over any evidence you’ve gathered against Nexis, the Guardians, even the Watchers. The Guardian Council will decide what to do with it.”
“I bet,” I muttered under my breath.
“The second condition…” Cindy’s softer voice rose as she moved beside her husband. “You will join the Guardian forces in Europe as soon as you’re inducted as a member.”
Dad walked forward, bridging the gap between us. “Don’t worry, sweetie. You won’t be going alone. We’re going to arrange a summer abroad program that includes all the students here, as well as a few select chaperones. Myself included. That way nothing will look too suspicious.”
“Let’s just hope Mom gets out of jail in time to take care of Paige,” I mumbled under my breath.
Murmurs undulated across the room as all the Montrose students started chattering about their summer in Europe.
Mark moved forward, inching close to me. “Even though war is being
waged in Europe, the Guardian forces are prevailing. We do believe it is safer for you there than it will be here. Otherwise, we would never risk our own children’s safety.”
“Okay, let me get this straight.” I ran my fingers through my hair, twirling it into knots. “You want all the evidence we’ve gathered that could possibly expose you, and in exchange I win a trip to Europe and full Guardian membership. Seems a little lopsided if you ask me.”
“I assure you it’s more than fair…” Harlixton droned on, but I tuned him out.
“Don’t worry,” Tony whispered in my ear. “I’ve got backups upon backups of all that evidence.”
“I know, but what about Will?” I whispered back. “It seems so unfair to just leave him out there all alone.”
“You know he’d tell you to do it.” Tony had that same knowing look that Bryan had earlier. Could everyone see right through me? “You can agree now and talk it out with him. Nothing’s official until you’ve done the ceremony.”
“I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right.” I gave him a headshake, then turned to the council. “If you want the Seer on your side, you’ll let Will join the Guardians. End of discussion.”
Harlixton glanced around at each council member as they shook their heads at him. “Lucy, we’ve made our deal perfectly clear and there will be no more negotiations.” He leaned closer, leveling a stern glare at me. “We’ve scheduled the ceremony for tomorrow afternoon. With or without you.”
“Tomorrow?” I choked out.
Harlixton looked down his nose at me. “Then I suggest you go do what you have to do to honor your friend.”
“At the expense of putting Will in danger? Why do you Guardians have to be so stubborn? I can’t take this any more.” I glanced over at Dad and he nodded. “I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”
Without looking back at Bryan or Tony or anyone, I sprinted out of the room. Will was waiting for me in the hallway, not two steps from the door. I tumbled into him and pulled him into my arms.
“Hey, gorgeous. Is everything okay?” Will held me close.
“Lucy, wait.” Bryan raced after me but stopped short when he saw me with Will.
I buried my head in Will’s shoulder, if only to block out that horrible look on Bryan’s face. “There’s so much I have to tell you.”
“I’m sure.” He chuckled into my hair. “Did you get anything resolved with those people?”
I shrugged. “Kind of, but not really. You’re not going to like it.”
“Whatever it is, we can figure it out together.”
“Really?” I looked up, right as Bryan turned and walked away. “It’s nice to have one chapter finally over,” I muttered to his retreating back.
Will followed my gaze, then glanced at me. Suddenly his whole face lit up like he knew exactly what I meant. “Finally.”
I tilted my chin as my lips curved up at him.
He couldn’t stop the huge smile that spread his lips wide. “Let’s go find our bench and talk this out.”
“I like the sound of that.” We walked hand-in-hand out of the chapel, and into the waiting sunshine.
***
Our bench still sat nestled beside the maple tree, yet so much had changed since the last time Will and I had been there together. Less than a year ago, I’d thought he was some kind of creepy stalker. Now I wondered how I’d ever misjudged him so badly.
The spring-green maple leaves dappled Will’s face with shadows. How I wished we could go back to the pure sunshine we’d walked through only moments before. But I knew that wasn’t what my life could ever look like. I only hoped he knew it, too.
Will slid his arm along the bench behind me. A comforting, familiar gesture that immediately calmed my nerves.
“Don’t hate me,” he whispered.
“Why would I hate you?” I looked up and found his face scrunched with a million worry lines, completely unreadable.
The corners of his mouth crinkled. “I sort of eavesdropped a little. Heard they wouldn’t let me in. Thanks for trying, though.” He laid his hand on top of mine.
A cool early-May breeze picked up, and I laced my cold fingers between his warm ones. “What do I care if you listened in? I’m not a Guardian yet.”
“But you should be.” Those gray eyes leveled into me.
I shook my head. “No way. Not without you. There’s no way I’m going to leave you all alone out there. To become mincemeat of Nexis, or the Watchers, or who knows what? I don’t think so.”
He squeezed my hand and pulled me closer. “Well, I don’t want to become mincemeat either. But I’ve been thinking a lot about it, for longer than you probably know. I can only see one solution. Even if it means we can’t be together.” His normally strong tone cracked on the last few words.
I turned to stare him in the eye, even if his face was only inches away. “I won’t accept that. We can find a way to make it work on our own. Who needs those stupid secret societies?”
“They will find us.” His voice came out strangled and choked. “Even if we could allude the Watchers and the Guardians, my mom will not stop. She will always hunt us down.”
“Because of me. Because I’m the Seer.” The truth sunk into the very depths of my breaking heart, and I glared down at my lap.
Suddenly Will’s hand cupped my cheek as he forced me to look at him. “I will do whatever I have to do to keep you safe, even if it means sending you straight into the ranks of the stupid Guardians. They’re not perfect. But at least they can protect you.”
Unbidden, a tear rose up and landed on my cheek. “You can’t go it alone. You’re the one who told me that. Everyone knows about us now. They’ll just use you to get to me.”
Even as his eyes ignited at my admission, he set his mouth in a grim line. “You’re right. That’s why I’ve decided to make you a deal.”
“Oh, great. More deals,” I muttered, running my fingers along his jawline.
“This one actually benefits both of us. In a way.” Now both hands were on my face as he stared at me with those platinum eyes. “If you promise me you’ll join the Guardians, I promise you that I’ll join the Watchers. So we can both be safe. Until we can be together again. And we will be together again. You understand that, don’t you?”
I did my best to nod, as another tear leaked out.
“You promise?” he asked, eyes locked on mine.
I nodded, holding his gaze. “I promise, Will.”
In one swift motion he pressed his lips into mine, all warm and soft. Tingles raced through my body and dive-bombed with the dread in my gut. I wrapped my arms around him to block out the overwhelming emotions exploding through every corner of my mind. If only I could tell him the truth, that I was in love with him. But it wouldn’t help anything. Not when we were going our separate ways.
“You know how much I care about you, right?” Coming from his lips, those sweet little words warmed me up and cradled me in his arms.
“I know,” I whispered into his soft mouth as I kissed him again. Wrapping my arms around him, I clamped my eyes shut against my own cowardice. He had to know how much I wanted to say it back to him. But how could I? It already hurt too much, knowing we only had a day left together … and weeks or even months of separation ahead of us.
So I just squeezed him tighter, and melted into his arms.
Chapter 30
The pungent scent of burning candle wax filled my nostrils. My hands trembled at my sides, ruffling the silvery fabric of my ridiculously long dress. Swirling fireflies danced on my fingertips. I couldn’t look at anything but the platinum silk flowing out from my hips and puddling in waves on the chapel tile.
Curtis stood in front of me, regal and crisp in a gray suit jacket. He took two steps down the hallway then disappeared around the corner.
The fireflies buzzed straight into my stomach. In one, two, three heartbeats it was my turn. I followed the path he laid out for me, telling myself to breathe. This was it. After hours of talking
with Will, I had made my choice. And there was no going back now.
Strains of some faintly-familiar epic ballad piped through the chapel’s massive organ. Each note filled the room with the pomp and circumstance this occasion called for. Today I would become a Guardian.
As I rounded the corner and made my first steps down the long aisle, I lifted my chin to take it all in. A brilliant white light bathed the room. Several lights seemed to emanate more radiance than I’d ever seen in this normally dim sanctuary. Colored rays streaked in from the stained-glass windows. But the light shining down from above was pure white, like I’d only seen from my angel.
Step by step, pew by pew, the realization washed over me. A warm summer breeze wafted over me. My lips curved as I angled my gaze toward the whiteness. The white was so bright I couldn’t make out any figures. Then I heard it. A chorus of extra voices, adding their own sweet refrain to the organ music. Maybe Shanda was with them, watching over me and her dad.
I made my way to the front where the Guardian Council stood on the platform facing the crowd, dressed in white robes. Mr. Harlixton motioned for Curtis and me to stand in front of them on the stage.
Harlixton held up the microphone and turned to Curtis. “Mr. Jones, please kneel before the council.” Curtis dropped to one knee as Mr. Harlixton hoisted up a silver medal on a silver ribbon. “This medallion is to honor the heroic efforts of your daughter, Shanda Jones, who gave the ultimate sacrifice. And we are all humbly grateful.”
“Thank you,” Curtis whispered as he bowed his head.
In one fluid motion, Harlixton slid the medal around Curtis’ neck, and he rose to his feet.
A round of applause erupted in the sanctuary. Pews squeaked and rattled as everyone rose to their feet in a standing ovation.
The sudden sting of tears welled up in my eyes, and one trickled down my cheek. As I dabbed at the moisture, Curtis turned and nodded at the crowd. The applause roared even louder.
“Miss McAllen, please kneel before the council,” Harlixton said into the microphone. “This special gift is to acknowledge your unwavering commitment to the Guardians and thank you for bringing your unique talents to our society.”
Crossing Nexis: YA Paranormal Romance (The Nexis Angel Series Book 2) Page 29