by Dinah McLeod
“Good evening,” he greeted her as he walked in and shut the door behind him. “I trust that you have been amusing yourself.”
“Y-yes.” Darn it all! She groaned inwardly at the hitch in her voice. Calm down, Delia, or you’ll give yourself away!
Thankfully, the admiral didn’t notice and moved toward her with the tray. “Are you hungry, or still too busy having adventures to eat?”
She froze. He knew. He knew. How was that possible? Had he caught Barnabee? Had her new friend given her up? But she saw his grin aimed at the book in her hand and relaxed. “Ah... yes, I could eat.”
“Excellent.” He handed her the bowl of rice mixed with vegetables and meat, and there were two glistening rolls on the side.
Funny, the sight of one in Barnabee’s hand had made her mouth water earlier, but now her stomach was too twisted in knots to find them appealing. Looking to the admiral once more, she couldn’t help but notice that there was no bowl for him.
“You are not staying?” She grimaced at the disappointment in her voice, but she could not help it. He had shared nearly every meal with her since she had boarded, and now he would miss two in the same day? She had not realized how much she had grown to depend on his companionship.
“I am afraid I have yet more work to do this evening.” He must have seen her crestfallen look, because he added, “I can stay for a few minutes, if you like.”
Delia smiled at him. “Yes, please.”
“You look as though you have had a good day,” he observed.
“I have.” She tapped the cover of the book and couldn’t help but notice the admiral’s grin. Why, it almost looked like he was laughing at her! “What is it?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“Are you making fun of me?” she demanded to know.
“No, of course not. Only...”
“Only what?” She was feeling more impatient by the second.
“You are holding it upside down.”
“I... what?” Then she flushed when she realized what he meant and put the book down, as though that could erase what he had seen.
“So, what have you been up to today?”
Delia shot him an annoyed look and instead of answering began to eat, forking bite after bite into her mouth until she could take no more. She chewed and swallowed. When she spoke again, she ignored his question entirely. “I think you might be wrong about how people would receive me.”
The admiral lifted a dark brow. “Oh? What makes you say so?”
She bristled at his tone. Honestly! As though she were a simpleton and knew nothing of the world. “I just think that the men on board are smarter than you give them credit for. They will not shrink just because you have a woman aboard the Victoria.”
He stared at her silently for a moment, his intense, dark eyes boring into her as though he could read her thoughts.
Delia could not help but feel silly for bringing it up at all and squirmed under his scrutiny.
“I have been sailing a long time, my lady. Most of my life, in fact. I am afraid that is what gives me the authority to speak on this matter, and I assure you—”
“And what I want does not matter,” she interrupted, pouting.
“Might I remind you, my lady, that this is the agreement we made before you came aboard. And to be frank, I am quickly tiring of having this conversation again and again.”
She would have known that even if he had not said so, for his mouth was pressed into a thin line and his jaw had tightened. Still, Delia was not good at paying heed to signs and this situation was no different. “I did not realize it would take so long, or be so frightfully dull.”
The admiral lifted both brows. “I see.”
Delia hated the way he could make her feel two inches tall with nothing more than a look. She folded her arms across her chest and refused to defend herself or apologize.
“Well, you and I will both be glad when we reach Baasing then.” He turned to leave, and had reached the door when he stopped and turned back around to face her. “By the way, how did you know?”
“Know what?” she muttered, utterly despondent.
“The name of the ship. You called it the Victoria. I know I’ve never mentioned it to you. How did you know?”
She felt every bone in her freeze. How had she been so foolish? Inwardly, she kicked herself. “Ah... I read it. When you were leading me onboard the ship.”
His brow furrowed. “The name was facing the water, my lady. You could not have seen.”
She cleared her throat. “I... I must have. Otherwise, how could I have known?”
He considered her for a long, silent moment. Then he nodded, bade her goodnight, and took his leave.
Yet, she did not calm down even when the door had closed behind him. She knew he did not believe her—she could see it on his face. Why hadn’t she thought before she spoke? Now, perhaps she had ruined everything.
And as though that were not enough to keep her mind occupied for the rest of the evening until she fell asleep, she had the admiral’s words ringing in her ears: you and I will both be glad when we reach Baasing.
They should not have hurt her, but there was no denying that they did all the same.
Chapter Five
Emboldened by her success the day before, Delia was quick to decide she would make another excursion out of her room. She tried to appear normal as the admiral dropped off her breakfast, but it was difficult to make small talk when she was filled with excitement over her secret plans and eager to carry them out. The uniform she had stuffed underneath the bed felt like a beacon, as though any moment it would roll out of its own accord and give her away. Unconsciously, she kicked her foot underneath the bed, both from nervous tension and as a stop-gap to prevent her fear from happening.
“You are not eating,” the admiral observed.
“Oh, I... I am not very hungry, I suppose.”
His brow furrowed. “Do you feel ill?”
“No, it is nothing to worry about, truly.”
“Hmm. You did not eat much at dinner, either. Perhaps I ought to talk to the doctor onboard.”
“There is no need, I assure you.” She managed a smile, hoping she did not come across as frantic as she felt. “I am sure my appetite will return shortly.” As though to prove her words, she bit off a piece of biscuit and took a sip of water, smiling at him.
“Alright, if you are certain. Still, I will check in on you later, and if you are not better then I will make a trip to talk to the doctor.”
“I am very touched by your concern,” Delia told him, and this much at least was true.
The admiral bid her farewell and she wasted no time getting out of her dress and changing into the uniform. She did not spend nearly as much time as she had the day before in surveying her appearance. She had to hurry. She truly was moved by his obvious concern for her, but it was inconvenient just now that she had plans to explore the Victoria. She could not have him popping in at odd times to look in after her.
Perhaps I should not go, Delia mused. But the thought felt physically painful. She had been so excited about her plan and she did not want to give it up now. Shoving away all of the doubts, Delia walked out of the room, head held high. This time she moved with more assurance, quickening her step since she had limited time.
She knew when she was nearing the deck because sounds got closer. And not just sounds of men talking, though there were plenty of those. She heard the sound of waves crashing, of seagulls calling to one another. Delia walked even faster, eager to give her eyes something more than dull walls to feast upon. The first step she took aboard deck, she was rewarded with the crisp, delicious scent of fresh sea air.
Delia closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. But her eyes were open again in but a moment—she wanted to drink everything in while she could. It was startling how beautiful the sky was. Had it always been so blue, and she had merely forgotten? It did not seem possible. Perhaps it was prettier when you were away at sea. The sigh
t of graceful white birds soaring through the air caught her eye and made her smile.
She moved toward the side of the ship, her hand still a brim on her forehead, gazing out across the glistening, vast water. “Beautiful,” she murmured.
Breathing in the fresh air was nearly intoxicating, and the view was beyond compare. The sun’s rays made the water shine like glass, and it was perhaps the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. So beautiful, in fact, that it distracted her. Without even being aware of it, she had stopped moving and was merely gazing out at the water.
She did not realize until a sharp, masculine voice cut through the air.
“You there!”
Delia’s entire body froze. She would know that voice anywhere. This was such a foolish thing to do! What made me think I’m cut out for adventure?
“Ahoy! You there! Turn and face me, boy.”
She could not move. Despite the warmth of the sun, her teeth started chattering.
Stupid, stupid girl! I will be in so much trouble!
Delia felt a hand on her shoulder and yelped. A flush stole over her cheeks and she ducked her head and turned to face him.
“Did you not hear me, boy?”
“No... sorry... sir,” she mumbled.
“What task are you assigned to today, boy?”
Though Delia’s eyes were trained on the deck, she couldn’t miss the muscular chest displayed in fine linen. She felt the warmth in her cheeks intensify. She should be thinking of nothing but how much trouble she was in, and instead, she was looking at his chest.
“Answer me, boy,” he demanded, his firm voice brisk.
“Ah, I...”
“I said, what are you to be doing? Quick now, before I lose my patience.”
Surely he recognized her. She felt faint with the thought. If he did, he would punish her, she was sure of it.
Pull yourself together, Delia! Stop acting like a simpleton and think!
“I... I was on my way to... help cook,” she stammered.
“You are a kitchen hand? Very well, then. Get to it, and do not let me catch you dallying again.”
“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” Delia turned and began to stride in the other direction as quickly as possible.
“Wait a minute.”
His authoritative voice made her halt in her tracks.
“Look at me, boy. What is your name?”
Delia felt her heart hammer a rapid tattoo in her chest and her mouth went dry. She had been so close to freedom.
“Turn around to face me. Now.”
It was a tone that brooked no argument, and really, to disobey would only bring more attention to herself. So, after taking a deep breath, Delia turned to face him.
“There’s a good lad. Now, would you care to explain to me why you are headed away from the kitchen?”
She swallowed hard. Hell and damnation! She had been sure that she was going the right way, but in all the excitement of yesterday perhaps she had forgotten. Or the fact that she could feel the admiral’s sharp gaze on her had perhaps caused things to get muddled. But she could say neither of those things, even though she knew damn well that he expected an answer. “I am sorry, sir. I must have gotten turned around,” she said at last, her lips trembling.
“What did you say your name is again?”
Delia looked at her feet, fully aware that her face was on fire and doing her best to hide it. She could feel his eyes on her, his gaze piercing. “Eric, sir.”
“Eric,” he repeated. “Hmm. I do not recall ever sailing with an Eric. Is this your first time sailing with me?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Is this your first time sailing on a ship, Eric?”
“Yes, it is, sir,” she replied, trying to keep her voice low and hoping that if he heard how it shook, he would think her merely an embarrassed boy rather than the frightened girl she was.
“I see. Well, Eric, the kitchen is the other way. It will take you some time to get your bearings, but I daresay by the time we’re done you will have worked out where everything is.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Eric, one thing I never abide is laziness from my crew. You can do your daydreaming when the day’s work is done, if you still have the energy for it.”
Delia’s blush deepened. “Yes, sir.”
“Do a good job, and I shall have you on my next voyage as well.”
“Yes, sir. Thank you.” She could feel his eyes on her, and thought surely he must know this was a ruse. Any moment now he would call her to confess it and take her to be whipped.
“Very well then. You may be on your way.”
Her shock was so profound, her relief so great, that Delia did a very stupid thing. She bobbed a curtsey. As if that were not bad enough, right at that moment the wind, the treacherous, fickle wind that had kept the ship from moving as fast as it needed to and thus, her a prisoner far longer than she’d intended to be, sent a gust her way. Before she knew what was happening, the scarf she had fashioned with such care was whisked away, carried off and overboard. Her mass of curly blonde hair fell around her shoulders, effectively ending her position as a ship kitchen hand before it had ever begun.
The admiral’s mouth curved into a smile.
It was so contrary to what she had expected, Delia felt frozen with fear. Every bone in her body had tensed, urging her to run. But where could she go, really? Back to her room? There was nowhere she could go that he would not find her and make her face the consequences of what she could see now was a silly action. Her only potential escape would be to throw herself overboard, though she hesitated out of never having learned to swim. Still, she weighed the prospect of drowning against having her bottom smacked again and was not sure which was winning.
But he took her choice away by taking her firmly by the arm.
Delia forced her gaze up, looking him in the eye. What she saw in his face made her stiffen.
Admiral McCray regarded her with shock in his sapphire eyes. He tapped his foot on the deck, his boot beating a rapid tattoo against the wood. “Would you care to explain yourself, miss... ah, well, I feel almost certain that it isn’t Eric.”
The combination of his snapping eyes and his deep, commanding voice made Delia wish she had thrown herself overboard when she had the chance. She had never been so terrified in her life. “I...”
“You?” he prompted.
Delia’s heart was pounding as tears prickled her eyes. “I am sorry.”
He looked at her for a long moment before he answered. “I feel certain that you are, but not nearly as sorry as you should be.”
Suddenly, she felt aware of the stares she was receiving. She swallowed hard. This was the very thing he had warned her against, and she had refused to heed him.
“You will be taken to my private quarters,” he announced. With every word that he said, he stood a bit straighter, his posture even more imposing as he towered over her. And his eyes, those amazingly pretty eyes were looking at her quite coldly just now.
She was struggling to remember why she had been so determined to come on deck in the first place. At the moment, she couldn’t seem to find any reason that would be worth facing that stern glare. “I... ah... I had thought I would be returned to my room.” She spoke in a whisper as to not be overheard.
He did not answer her, instead snapping his fingers. The moment he had, two officers were at her side.
She did a double-take at the efficiency his commands elicited. Not that it would have occurred to her to disobey. She didn’t think anyone, being stunned with that unyielding stare, or hearing the severe reprimand beneath his soft voice, would consider offending him further.
“This way, madam,” one of the officers said, and she followed him without a word of protest.
She couldn’t resist one backwards look at the admiral, however. She marveled at her own daring, because surely even pausing long enough to look at him was forbidden. But she needn’t have worried—assured of her escort to his qua
rters, he had turned away from her and was already issuing brisk commands that had the men on board scattering to do his bidding. She was both relieved to not find him looking back at her and disappointed all at once. Knowing how deeply her actions must have angered him left her with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“I should not be here,” Delia told the men leading her down the deck. “I should leave.” The moment the words were out of her mouth she wondered where she would go. Her guards must have wondered the same because when she tried to tug away from the one who had a hand on her shoulder, his grip tightened.
As they moved toward his office, Delia wondered again what she had been thinking. Of course, she knew the answer to that: she had been longing for a bit of excitement and adventure. It made her feel nauseous to remember because what she had found was anything but.
She was dropped off without a word from the men by her side. The moment the door closed behind her, she grabbed the doorknob and tried to turn it. She breathed a sigh of relief when it opened, only to find the same two men standing on either side of the door. Though neither of them so much as looked in her direction, she knew they were aware of her presence. Without a word, she gently closed the door.
There was nowhere she could run to, no place to hide. Something heavy and awful settled in the pit of her stomach.
Delia glanced around the office. There were two rather comfortable-looking chairs across from a large wooden desk, but she could not sit still. Instead, she began to pace. As she did, she berated herself for the absurdity of believing that she, a highborn lady, could come aboard a ship. She had thought she was escaping a horrific fate as a nursemaid to an ailing duke who would not be a fit husband for anyone. But look where she had landed. She was just as much a prisoner aboard this ship as she would have been in the duke’s castle, but with lesser food and no luxuries.
The admiral would be in any moment and she knew what fate awaited her when he did. He had told her himself. Her stomach lurched at the thought. The first bottom smacking had been most unpleasant, and something told her that this one would be much worse.
The look in his fierce gaze had said it as clearly as if he had spoken the words aloud. That stern, reproving look was what had started the tumultuous feeling in her belly. But somehow, she became aware that there was something else going on inside her as well. Her sex was pulsing with unexpected heat, and she had not the faintest idea what to make of it.