No Turning Back

by Casey Peeler

  Me: It was, should have seen my outfit lol

  Cash: I bet, totally not u

  Me: I know :) any news from Dustin?

  Cash: Not yet, Tessa and him are getting close though I’ve seen him with her a lot

  Me: thanks! Love u!

  Cash: Love u 2

  Dustin and Tessa. I would have never put that together. But then again, they do make a cute couple. If this would have been a month ago, I would have been furious, but I now know that Dustin is on our side. It’s funny how things are beginning to change for Dylan. He just doesn’t know it yet.

  I pull myself off the bed and make my way to Caroline’s room to see what is going on. She’s in a towel, sitting at her make shift bar, eating Stromboli, waving me in. Seriously, put on some clothes.

  “How was golf?” She asks with a mouthful.

  “Good, that place is huge! I mean I felt like I was Scarlett in Gone with the Wind at that place. So you gonna wear that towel out tonight?”

  “You know I could start a new trend!” She winks. That is true. I have noticed that Caroline has a way with people and their attire. Whatever she wears, someone else has on within two weeks. She finishes her Stromboli and then pulls a cute pair of jeans and a one-sleeved top from her closet. As she’s getting ready, Tori, Anna, Georgia, Jenny, and Cassie all walk in. I have a feeling they have a plan for us tonight already.

  “Hey Char, while you were gone today, we found out they are partying in Irvin tonight on the third floor. We already got our drinks of choice tonight, and no one needs to drive tonight. Let’s all get tore up. Watchathink?” Anna asks.

  “Y’all know I’m not big on that. I mean I’ll go have a good time and maybe let loose a little, but practice is going to come early in the morning.”

  I start to hear chicken clucking, and I know I’m in trouble. I think someone has been talking to Piper, Tessa, or Cash. I can’t remember a time in my life that once someone called me a chicken that I didn’t prove them wrong. Why should this be any different?

  “I don’t know who y’all are cluckin’ at, but this chick is game! Just remember we do have practice at nine tomorrow!”

  “Alright, mama hen! Get a cup and fill it up!” Tori basically yells at me. I know she doesn’t mean anything by it, but sometimes she needs to learn to take it easy on someone’s feelings.

  I grab a cup and my koozie and fill it up with Caroline’s famous PJ. I have come to realize that it is a little bit of this and whatever is left in the fridge. Somehow it always tastes okay. Caroline turns on the radio and we just chill before going to Irvin. You never want to be too eager going to a party in the guys’ dorm. They just might think you’re easy, which I’m not.

  We are all three drinks in before we make the not so long walk across the volleyball court to Irvin. There are a few people standing outside the dorm as we approach. I can’t help but wonder if one of them is Dylan’s inside man. I glance at Georgia and she nods. She’s got my back… even if she is a little tipsy.

  As we make our way up the stairs to the top floor, I wonder if they are ever going to paint these dingy off white walls. I honestly think they have been this way since they were built in the Stone Age. I also know it wouldn’t take campus police five minutes to figure out where we are on campus and that we are all underage, but for some reason, they just don’t care. As long as it’s in a cup and you keep the music down somewhat, it’s all good.

  When we walk on the hall, the lights are down, but there are lamps in the dorm rooms and a few strings of white Christmas lights hanging down the hallway. I get a little tickled that some guys have Christmas lights in their rooms but whatever. I can see Lucas and Crystal along with the lacrosse guys, minus Joe. She’s sociable, but stays right with her man like someone’s gonna try to take him. That’s highly doubtful because she’d beat their ass. I start to wonder where Joe might be and decide to send him a quick text.

  Me: I’m on 3rd floor where r u?

  Joe: I’m on my way. Just got off the phone with Gma

  Me: Ok :)

  Caroline has brought the PJ with her and hid it in Mark’s room. They have been on and off again since school started. I feel semi safe with that there, but after what happened with Dylan, I won’t drink anything out of a cup. I will open the can or bottle myself. Georgia and I talk to Crystal and Lucas. While we are talking, Crystal starts to smile. I glance over my shoulder to see Joe walking with so much confidence and swag it should be illegal. He has changed back into his normal AE wardrobe, but he is still wearing that sexy golf hat. He is carrying a case of PRB in his right hand.

  He walks into Mark’s room to put down the beer before walking to me. He puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses my forehead.

  “You can have any of that beer you want. I heard you might wanna cut loose tonight, but I know you have to open it yourself,” he says with a wink.

  “Thanks! Not many people know that, ya know?” He smiles and hands me a beer, unopened. I pop a top and put it in my koozie.

  Within the hour, my head is swimming. I don’t normally drink; I have practice in the morning. What the heck am I thinking? The look on my face must say it all. Joe pulls me close and whispers in my ear. “You ready to go to bed? Practice is going to come really early in the morning.” I nod, tell the girls bye, and we go down to his room.

  “Squirrel, let me grab my practice stuff, and we can go to your room.” I nod in agreement. I stand in his room because if I sit down, it’s over. I’ll be out like a light.

  Joe and I make it across to Kluft to my room before I feel the strong urge to run to the bathroom. Joe doesn’t say a word. He follows me to the bathroom, holds my hair, and waits for me to finish. I think I might die… right here… maybe I’ll lie down on this cold tile floor.

  “Not so fast Charley, you’re not sleeping on this floor tonight under my watch.” Joe lifts me off the floor, takes me in his arms and holds me like I’m a child being carried to bed by their parent. He removes my shoes, jeans, and shirt and replaces them with my pajamas. He pulls the comforter back from the bed, and I somehow find the energy to crawl under the covers, or maybe that’s Joe helping me. He removes his pants and shirt before crawling into bed beside me. My head feels like a two-ton brick on my pillow.

  I wake up to a pounding headache and alarm clock. Ugghhhhh! What was I thinking last night? I start to hit the snooze button when Joe grabs my arm and tells me to take some Advil and get up for practice. The lacrosse guys are off today, unlike us. I make my way to the bathroom and recall the events from last night. I can’t do that again. What if I wouldn’t have been with Joe? What it he wasn’t a nice guy? I shake those thoughts from my brain and splash water on my face and try to pull myself together for practice.

  I knock on Tori and Georgia’s door. I’m glad to see they look like I do. Coach is going to have fun today. I have no doubt. And she does, but I will have to say that my hangover is long gone by the time practice is over.

  We go back to the dorm and crash until Anna and Caroline come bouncing in the room telling us to wake up because we gotta grab a bite to eat and get ready for Hank’s.

  After a twenty-minute debate about where to eat, we decide on our favorite, Texas Roadhouse. Honestly, I don’t know why we debated. That seems to be a ritual for us. Who can resist a restaurant that lets you throw peanut shells on the ground along with the cute waiters that know us by name?

  After supper, we come back and pregame and get ready for Hank’s. We no longer drive the Explorer because we have the Love Machine. I decide to lay off the booze tonight and just have fun with the girls and Joe, I’m sure.

  We make the three turns and arrive at Hank’s. I walk across the gravel driveway and into Hank’s. The music is loud and the bar is dark except for the normal bar lights and what is needed for security purposes. We hit the ladies room, check the mirror, and to the dance floor we go. The night is just like any other Saturday night. Dance our asses off and shut it down with “Let’s Get it
On.” This week is no different.

  After returning to campus, I go to my room, grab my shower stuff and decide I gotta get this sweat off of me. I am sober as can be, and I can’t go to bed smelling and feeling like I’ve been working at the farm all day. I make it quick and get back to my room to find Joe asleep on my bed. He must have had someone let him in. I crawl into bed and wake up to the sun peering through my window. It’s almost noon.

  Joe and I, along with the Kluft girls, make our way to the café for lunch because we totally missed breakfast. Then Joe and I go back to my room to finish our project for Freshman Seminar.

  “Squirrel, the only thing we have left is to put the pics in from Friday. We got this!”

  “I know, but we still have to figure out what the heck we are going to say. I hate talkin’ in front of people.”

  “Um, we don’t really have to talk, you know. This movie will say it all, and I think she’s gonna be impressed that it’s not a power point.” I look over at him and throw an empty Choice Cherry Gold bottle at him. Smart ass!

  Joe and I take a look at the movie one more time, and it’s as good as it is going to get. I’ve also decided that I can’t be responsible for what comes out of his mouth tomorrow when Dr. Cope asks us questions. Joe gives me a hug and tells me that he will wait for me outside of Biology.

  The evening goes on with no major events and I wake up the next morning, go to practice, eat breakfast, head to Biology, and Joe is exactly where he said he would be.

  “Squirrel, you ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be. You better not embarrass me. That’s all I got to say.”

  “Hey, you’re the one that eats unique animals,” he says as he bumps into my shoulder. We wait to cross the street and make our way to meet Dr. Cope.

  Class is already getting full, and the butterflies in my stomach are going crazy. I try to take a deep breath, but that doesn’t seem to work. I take out my phone and scroll through the pictures, anything to kill the time and take my mind off this presentation.

  “Watchalookin’ at, Squirrel?” Joe says as he glances at my phone.

  “Just killin’ time and my nerves before we do the damn thing.”

  Joe laughs and checks his phone for messages. I glance up to see Dr. Cope coming in the door. Here goes nothing!

  “Happy Monday everyone! Anybody ready to share today?” I take a deep breath and before I can answer Joe speaks for us.

  “We are, Dr. Cope.”

  “What a nice surprise! Joe and Charley, whenever you’re ready. The floor is yours.”

  Joe and I take a minute to set up the computer with the LCD projector. We take our places at the front of the class, my hands are sweating bullets, and Joe looks my way and smiles. He takes a deep breath and speaks.

  “Hey, everyone. Charley and I are going to do things a little bit differently. We didn’t want to just talk about us. We wanted to show you what makes us unique. We decided to get creative with our project so we made a movie. We will answer your questions at the end.”

  As I walk to the computer, I mouth thank you to Joe. I could not have done that. Now only if I can make it through the Q&A session. I hit play, stand back and watch. As it begins, Miranda Lambert comes through the speakers. I can’t help but get teary-eyed as I watch pictures of our families, homes, loves, surprise trips, and volunteering, then there is a picture of Lucy, and a single tear runs down my face. Even though I never met her, I know she is a big part of Joe’s life, and she is his angel. I pull myself together as the official Joe and Charley credits come to an end and the class begins to applaud.

  “Fantastic job, Charley and Joe. Now I would like to ask you a few questions,” Dr. Cope says. We both wait patiently. “What were you first thoughts when I announced this project?”

  I take a deep breath and decide I need to answer something. “Dr. Cope, if you want my honest opinion, I thought I was going to have a melt down because I don’t do well without specific instructions and deadlines. I felt overwhelmed, but Joe read me like a book and helped me realize it wasn’t that bad.”

  She takes a minute, and then responds. “Thanks for being honest. I really don’t like when students tell me what I want to hear. Now tell me what you learned from this project.”

  Before I can comment, Joe adds his two cents. “I had a different agenda for this project. Personally, I found it a way to get close to the prettiest girl on campus, but little did I know that I would find the most beautiful person inside and out. She not only has overcome hurdles in her life, but she has taken those hurdles, crossed them and carried on. She is a person that I trust with my entire well-being. I never thought this project would allow me to find a friend that I hope to have for a lifetime.”

  I am at a complete loss of words, I think. I have to at least say something about him. Dr. Cope looks at me for my own answer. I pause for a second before speaking to gather my thoughts.

  “What have I learned from this project?” I swallow hard and then answer the question. “I have learned that it is okay not to be in complete control. Everyone has a past that affects their future, but if you find the right people, they won’t let you spin out of control. Joe has been the support that I’ve needed since I got to Southern. Honestly, I was sure I would be ready to kill him by the time this project was over, but instead I can’t get enough of him and his scaredy cat self.” I wink at him.

  Dr. Cope wastes no time with the next question. “Scaredy cat? Charley, you must explain.”

  Joe glances my direction, and if looks could kill, I’d be stiff by now. My nerves and the situation have got me tickled inside and out. I just start laughing.

  “Joe and I always met at the picnic table to work on the project. One day he was so deep in thought, I decided to scare him. I honestly thought he was going to jump as high as the sky, but then he got kinda mad at me… he got over that though.”

  After a brief pause in the room, Dr. Cope asks if any other students have questions. A guy in the back row raises his hand, “Why did you pick that song for the background?”

  Joe takes the lead on this one, “I actually had a few other songs chosen, but Charley wouldn’t let me use them. “ I smack his arm. “ I’m just kidding. I did give her a hard time, but knew this was the song from the beginning. This song speaks volumes. We are all different and unique. In fact, I took Charley’s uniqueness for a weakness in the beginning, but as time passed, I realized that is what makes her Charley, or Squirrel, to me. We each have skeletons in the closets, different opinions, backgrounds, and beliefs. Ask yourself this question. What would the world be like if everyone was the same? It goes perfectly with our volunteer project. Every child, regardless of their ability or disability, is unique. As a generation, we need to take others uniqueness and embrace it.” The room is completely silent until Dr. Cope speaks.

  “I don’t think I could have said that better myself. I hope that the others of you in this class will take note of what can be accomplished when you work together. By the way Charley, Quail Hollow… that is impressive by itself. You took what you knew was once important and brought it back to life. Joe, you knew that Charley has a love for animals even if she does like to eat some of them, and the zoo was a great idea. What truly touched my heart was your volunteering. It shows that you both have a connection to special needs. I hope that both of you take that passion and share it with others. Class is dismissed.”

  I unplug the computer from the LCD and Joe helps me pack everything. We don’t say much, but what’s to say? He has announced that I’m his friend, and for some reason I’m fine with that. I hope whoever Dylan has watching me heard that comment and maybe they will leave me alone. We walk out of the classroom in silence, but as soon as our feet hit the lawn, Joe turns to look at me.

  “I think we did great in there. What about you? You seem like something’s off?”

  “Yeah, we did great. You actually have a way with words Jackalope Joe. And to think you had a different agenda!”

/>   We continue our walk, and I go up to my room alone. The remainder of this week is going to be a blur because the exhibition meet is coming up. I know it doesn’t count because it’s not official, but for me it’s my first time competing since I walked out on one of my biggest loves, swimming.

  Me: You still coming Saturday?

  Cash: Yes

  Me: Yay! U going 2 go 2 Hank’s w us?

  Cash: as long as I can stay with u

  Me: Of course!

  Cash: Talked to Dustin today

  And with that text, I decide to call Cash.

  “Hey Char-coal. I should have called you, but I wanted to get all the details first.”

  “Alright, I’m listening.”

  “Dustin said he thinks that it has to be either Mark or Maddox. They both knew each other before going to Southern. Plus the fact that Mark’s family has a house close to our hometown makes him a little higher on the suspect list. Nothing concrete though.”