No Turning Back

by Casey Peeler

  “Dad, I’m going to the stand this afternoon. I plan on camping out till the one shows his big rack.”

  “Char, if you find him, you better not miss. If anyone takes him down besides me, it better be you and not Cash.” He winks.

  “Got it.”

  Tessa and I do the dishes, and she rides with me to check the stand. She’s not as much of a hunter as I am, but she still likes to take part. She just hates being cold. I take a minute to text Cash since I was ambushed by family time.

  Me: I’m home :)

  Cash: :) I guess I should plan on seeing u at dark?

  Me: Yup

  Cash: Txt me if u get 1

  Me: K oh, and I love u Cash Money!

  Cash: I love u 2 Char-coal!

  Tessa and I check the stand and make our way back to the house. I go upstairs and bust out the camo. It’s pretty chilly out. I make sure I put on my long johns, camo pants, and long-sleeve shirt. I add toasty toes to the bottom of three pairs of socks before sliding on my hunting boots and camo Under Armour jacket. Since it is so cold out, I grab my gloves and face mask just in case. I’m not a fan of the cold like Tessa, but I love the thrill of pulling the trigger on a big one!

  I walk downstairs into the office for the farm and unlock the gun safe to take out my baby, a Marlin 30/30 stainless steel rifle. I put in the combinations and pull her from the safe. She is cool to the touch, but full of fire. I grab ammunition and put it in the front pocket of my jacket and make my way to my stand by four-wheeler.

  After an hour, I see a doe across the field. She’s small, so I decide to let her walk. The sounds of nature consume me. I hear the wind blowing through the trees, birds chirping, and squirrels running from tree to tree. In fact, I’ve come to realize that while I’m in the stand I never hear a deer. I only see them. They walk on air or something.

  As I survey the field again, I notice movement on the far corner. It’s another doe running. Something has definitely put her on the move. Low and behold I know exactly what. The one. My insides start to shake. He’s too far right now; if only he’d move within my range. I hold my breath as I watch the beautiful creature. I try to count the points. For what I can see, I think, it’s a twelve pointer, but the spread is massive, at least eighteen inches.

  I continue to try to calm my nerves. I decide to sing a song in my head, but I can’t keep my eyes off the one. Then I notice that he is moving closer. Yes! Yes! Yes! I take my rifle and get into position. When I am one hundred and fifty percent positive, I look through the scope and squeeze the trigger. All the air exits my lungs and I see him down on the ground about fifteen yards from where I shot him.

  I lower my gun to the ground as my hands are shaking like a drug addict that needs a fix. I take my phone from my pocket and text Cash and Dad.

  Me: Got ‘em!

  Cash: On the way!

  Dad: that’s my girl, see u at the barn

  Cash speeds to the stand and helps me load him on the rack of my four-wheeler, but not before I take a few pictures in the field with him. Cash follows me on his four-wheeler, and Dad has the shop ready to clean him. But I know we have to check him in to the Chevron Big Buck Contest.

  “Daddy, you wanna go with me to check him in?”

  “It would be an honor, sweet girl.”

  Cash, Dad, and I load him on the back of Dad’s truck and make our way to the Chevron.

  “Dang, Charley. I can’t believe you finally got the one! We were starting to think he was just a legend on the farm,” Gus the owner says. “Let’s measure this bad boy.”

  I jump on the bed of the truck and move his head where Gus can get the best angle. “He measures nineteen and a fourth inches. So far Charley, you got the winner, but season’s not over yet. Now hold them antlers proud for a photo.” I do as Gus asks and then we head back to the house to clean him.

  Dad has it ready, but leaves it to Cash and me. Cash and I spend the next thirty minutes taking care of the one. Once we finish, we clean up and hang out at the barn just for fun. I walk across the barn to the old stereo equipped with an eight track player and turn the knob to our local country station. As I walk back across the barn to Cash sitting on a bale of hay messing on his phone and looking hot as hell. When I get to him, he looks up at me with hunger in his eyes. He puts his phone in his pocket and stands to meet me. He takes me by the hand and pulls me into his chest as he places my hair behind my ear. He then looks into my eyes and begins to pull me closer. I can feel the heat radiating between us as Cash’s lips begin to touch mine. His lips are soft as velvet, and he continues to kiss me delicately and deeply at the same time. That’s when I hear someone clearing their throat. Cutting my eyes to the right I notice my dad standing in the doorway. Oh shit!

  “Hey Daddy, everything okay?” I say as my face flushes bright red. Cash takes a step backwards and puts his hands in his pockets.

  “Yes Charley, your mom is baking a cake and needs two eggs. Y’all got an early mornin’. You might wanna call it a night.” He says looking at Cash.

  “Yes, sir. Charley, I’ll see ya in the morning. I’m hunting on the north side in the morning. You going to the same spot?”

  “Yeah.”

  Dad walks to get the eggs and nods as he leaves the barn. Cash and I let out a huge breath.

  “Char, I’m so sorry about that. I thought your dad was gonna kill me!”

  “Nah, he just wants to scare the shit outta ya. I’m his little girl, remember? Even though he loves you.” As I elbow him.

  He grabs my arm and pulls me in for a strong and safe hug. He kisses me on my forehead, the tip of my nose, and finally lands on my lips.

  “Guess I better go, I’m sure your dad’s watching the clock.”

  “You know he loves you, but we do have an early morning. Night, Cash Money.”

  “Night, Char-coal.”

  We walk out to our four-wheelers, call it a night, and Cash goes home. I walk into the house, grab a drink from the refrigerator, tell Mom and Tess about the one, then get ready for bed because I have to be back in the stand in the morning. I could care less if I see anything because I know I’ve won the Big Buck Contest, but just the idea of being outside in nature keeps calling. Plus, I’d much rather be out there than cooking in the kitchen for Thanksgiving dinner.

  Around eleven, I decide that I have hidden out as long as possible before being put to work in the kitchen. My mom has made it well-known that there will be no hunting this afternoon because we will have our family Thanksgiving dinner at our house. Both sets of my grandparents, aunt, uncle, four cousins, along with Cash’s entire family, come for supper. It’s the only time we have a formal meal and bring out the good china. Cash’s family has been coming to these meals since I can remember. When his grandparents were living, they came, too.

  I pull myself from my thoughts, get down from the stand, and ride back to the house. I smell like deer pee and a shower is a must. Mom, Grandma, and Tessa are working hard in the kitchen. I go in to tell them ‘hey’ and grab a bite of biscuit dough from the pan as my mom swats it away. “Get outta that!” I smile and make my way upstairs. I rummage through my closet to find something presentable to wear. After sliding hanger after hanger back and forth, I choose a teal green, boat neck, long-sleeve, lace embroidery dress. It fits perfectly on my body and two inches above my knee. I really want to wear my boots, but I know Mom will have a cow. I decide that maybe I can get away with a fancy pair of boots. I look and find a pair of brown suede ankle boots and know that they will look perfect. I put my necklace from Cash back in place, add earrings, ring, and I’m downstairs in no time.

  Everyone arrives at the house at two. Thanksgiving meal is served promptly at three o’clock. Due to the number of people for the meal, Tessa, Cash, Cash’s sister Claire, my cousins, and myself have to sit at the kid table located in the kitchen. All the adults are at the formal dining room table and have no clue the conversations and schemes that we have created while they are ten feet away.
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  The meal is to die for and everyone can’t wait for my grandma’s famous squash pie. Most people turn up their nose at it, but once you taste it, your taste buds will thank you. We finish eating and Tessa, Claire, and I help clean the kitchen until the women take over. We are then excused to have some fun.

  We walk out the front door onto the porch to find Cash and my cousins sitting on the front steps, shooting the shit and talking about hunting and fishing. We make our presence known and totally butt into their conversation. I have to tell them the story of the one, as if they haven’t heard it already. My cousins, Claire, Tessa, and Cash give me their full attention, and when I finish, we decide to take a ride out to the pond and do a little night fishing. I run upstairs and change my fancy boots for my old faithfuls.

  The guys have the Gator loaded and we pile on. We spend the entire evening fishing, replaying memories of the past, laughing till I almost pee my pants, and then decide we better head back before dark.

  Tessa and I tell our family’s bye, along with Cash’s parents and Claire. Cash hangs around, and we enjoy the cool November air on the front porch swing.

  “Just in case I haven’t told ya, you look beautiful tonight.”

  “You don’t look so bad yourself. You like the fancy boots I had earlier?”

  “Yeah, I was wondering if you were going to push your mama’s limits, and of course, you did. That’s why I love you. You never try to be someone you’re not. Char-coal, always be true to yourself no matter what life throws ya. Can you do that for me?”

  I don’t know exactly how to reply to that so, I shake my head yes, then lay my head on Cash’s shoulder as he moves us back and forth in the swing.

  About the time I get comfortable, the screen door flies open and my dad walks out like he is on a mission. I jump about ten feet off the swing, and my dad starts to laugh.

  “Gotta keep you on your toes!”Seriously, the barn and now here! “You two better not get too comfortable out here, if you know what I mean?” His comment isn’t a question, but more of a statement. I know exactly what he means, and so does Cash. My parents have always trusted Cash, but I guess at some point a Daddy has to let his presence be known no matter how much he trusts him. We move apart, and Dad goes back in the house.

  “I guess there’s no more staying at the club.” Cash jokes.

  “Guess not.”

  “Char-coal, I guess I better get home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Wanna walk me to the truck?” I stand and follow him to the truck. We walk off the porch and down the sidewalk to his truck that is parked below the big oak tree in the front yard. As we approach the truck, Cash pulls me into him tight. He breathes in my shampoo and the Aruba Coconut lotion that I never leave home without. He places his hand under my chin, and I look into those beautiful blue eyes. Then he pulls me in for the sweetest, softest, and most emotional kiss I have ever had in my life. I can feel everything within my mind, body, and soul telling me that this is where I belong. But as stubborn as I am, I just can’t admit it to anyone but myself that I want to be in a relationship with Cash.

  Cash pulls away from me. “Well, I don’t know how Daddy would feel about kissing, do you?”

  It’s a good thing it is dark because my face is as red as a Solo cup. I try to come up with a quick remark, but all I can do is pull Cash right back into my lips. This time he pulls away, only to open the truck door and we climb in to continue our make out session.

  I make my way back to the house and go straight to my room. My mind is reeling as I try to drift off to sleep, and just like he’s reading my mind, I get a text from Cash.

  Cash: Go to bed Char-coal love u

  Me: U need 2 go 2 bed 2! Love u!

  After what feels like hours of tossing and turning, I look at the clock, and it has been a whopping fifteen minutes. I turn on the TV and eventually fall asleep.

  The remainder of my Thanksgiving break goes as planned. I work on the farm, go shopping at Northlake Mall with Piper on Saturday, shoot pool with Cash at Turtle’s, and church on Sunday morning before picking up Joe at the airport that afternoon. The ride to get Joe is a lot easier than it was on Wednesday. He is waiting outside the baggage claim for me as I pull up.

  “Hope I didn’t keep you waiting long?” I say as he climbs in the Honda.

  “Nah. Been out here about five minutes.”

  We make our way back to campus, and most of my hallmates have already returned. I spend the next two weeks going to practice, class, practice, class, and of course, Hank’s on Saturday.

  “Y’all can you believe that exams start this Thursday?” I comment to Georgia, Tori, Anna, and Caroline.

  “I know. I don’t know what I’m going to do without y’all for a month!” Georgia exclaims.

  “I could care less about exams. I’m just ready for Study Day!” Caroline squeals. Why the hell is she so excited about Study Day? You study all damn day! “It’s only the biggest party day of the year at Southern. Y’all thought Homecoming was epic. Y’all aint seen nothing yet!”

  “Explain.” Tori states.

  “Well, undoubtedly on Wednesday at noon the campus goes to quiet hours to study for exams. No class, practice, or anything. Pretty much people put off studying until Thursday afternoon, and spend Wednesday partying like it’s 1999 or something!”

  We all look at each other, and know that it’s legit because somehow Caroline always is in the know.

  Anna speaks up, “So, if Hank’s isn’t open, where does everyone go?”

  Caroline gets up and walks over to her wall and points to the number eighty-eight sticker on the wall. “That’s easy, Whiskey River!”

  “What’s that got to do with racing?” Anna asks. Georgia, Caroline, Tori and I look at each other like she has got to be kidding.

  “Anna, hunny, bless your heart,” I speak compassionately. “Dale Jr. owns Whiskey River.”

  “Awwwwwww. I don’t know anything about racing.”

  “We know,” we all say in unison.

  “Alright, so now that we know where we are going and what goes on, what are we going to wear?” I ask.

  “Since it’s Whiskey River, should we go country?” Anna asks.

  Caroline, Georgia, and I look at each other and smile. It’s time to pull out the hot, sexy country girl attire. There is no shopping necessary for this event because we have it covered! We spend the next two hours picking out wardrobes for an event that is two days away, but we can’t help it. It’s something to look forward to. Hayden and Sarah come over for the fun, and fun is exactly what it is when Hayden tries to pick out an outfit. She is trying stuff on, trying to talk country, acting like she’s riding a horse. We are all laughing so hard we can’t tell her to stop. That girl ain’t right! We make decisions on our wardrobe and call it a night.

  The two days of class go by slowly, partially due to our anxiety of going out in the big city Wednesday night. Wednesday morning I wake up and go to practice. Coach gives us the spill about being responsible and remembering that you represent Southern and the team. We promise to call if we need her. Dr. Deal gives us the final lesson in Biology lecture before reminding us that our exam is Friday morning at eight. I don’t have Freshman Seminar, so I am free until exams actually start.

  As I walk out of Biology, Joe is waiting for me. “Wanna go grab a bite to eat?”

  “Sure.” We make our way to the café and go through the line. None of the Kluft girls are around, so I sit with Joe and a couple of lacrosse players. It is funny to be on this side of things. Typically, Joe is always hanging with my friends. It’s nice to see him with the guys. We finish, and I make my way back to Kluft to begin to prepare for the evening activities.

  As I walk up the steps, Caroline, Tori, and the rest of the hallmates are in the hall discussing who is drinking what, who’s going home with whom, and what time we are leaving in the Love Machine.

  “Hey, y’all! Whatcha decide?” I ask as I put my books in my room.

  “I’m makin
g my famous PJ, and the Love Machine is full of gas from what I got from Hayden in class a little while ago. I just can’t wait! We are going to be the hottest country girls those city boys have ever seen!” Caroline exclaims.

  The remainder of the afternoon, we try to keep the noise down in the dorm. Misty has already warned us once. We decide to take ourselves out to the stoop for a little fresh air. I grab my jacket, slide on my boots, and follow the girls outside.