by J. C. Grant
I loved her like this, innocent and childlike. Her ready for work look just magnified it; bare faced, hair piled on top of her head in a sloppy bun, wearing those gray UGG boots, black leggings, and a pink oversized sweatshirt.
And fuck, I loved the way she clung to me, like she knew I would protect her. Like she was counting on it.
My sweet girl.
“I love you like this. You look so sexy,” she whispered, eyeing my ripped jeans, old white V-neck T-shirt and beat-up boots.
That made me stand up a little straighter.
She was the only person I knew who preferred me so casual. But it worked out well, since that was my go-to look.
When we arrived outside the sound stage, a girl carrying a clipboard and wearing an earpiece approached.
“Good morning, Miss James. Sorry to do this first thing, but can you come back to wardrobe real quick?”
Austin turned to me, but before she could say anything, I told her, “Go on, I'll find your trailer.”
“Oh, here.” The girl grabbed a guy walking by. “He can show you where Miss James’ trailer is.”
It was more than a little annoying that the girl kept calling her Miss James. But when the guy led me to Austin's trailer, I was pissed. I turned to the guy.
“What the fuck is this?”
“Miss James’ trailer? It was delivered early this morning.”
“Yeah, I know. I bought the fucking thing. I'm talking about the name on the door.”
“That's her name, Austin James.”
The way he said it... I felt like I was in the fucking twilight zone. This guy didn't seem to have a clue who I was or seem to know Austin was married.
This was exactly what I was afraid of.
Not wanting to yell at him, I turned away and dug my phone out of my pocket and called Elaine.
“David. How is—”
“Why is everyone calling her Miss James?”
Elaine hesitated before she answered slowly, “David, she never legally changed her name. Not her stage name, not her legal name, nothing... Did you get the paperwork to change her name?”
“Fuck,” I sighed. With everything going on, I had completely forgotten. I groaned, “No”
“Well, I don't know what to tell you. Unless she wants try to get some paperwork rushed through...”
I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I just wanted her to be known as Mrs. Taylor not Miss James.
I blew out a harsh breath. “I'll talk to her about it. Thanks.”
Ending the call, I shoved my phone back in my pocket and went looking for some masking tape. By the time Austin came back from wardrobe, I had fixed our little dilemma.
She stopped short when she saw it. Then I watched as a smile broke out across her face.
“Oh my God. That's too funny, David,” she said through suppressed laughter as she looked at the masking tape with Mrs. Taylor crudely written across it.
“This is perfect, babe.” She leaned into me, hooking a small hand around my neck, pulling me down to her. She pressed a sweet kiss to my lips before muttering, “I love that it's in your handwriting.”
“Seems we forgot to do the paperwork,” I muttered wryly.
I wasn't mad at her. I forgot, and if I forgot, I was sure she did too.
“I wasn’t aware we had to fill out paperwork. I thought I had to do paperwork to keep my name.”
Well, that answered that question.
“That's what I initially thought too.”
“Well, give me the paperwork, babe, and I'll fill it out,” she said as if it was the simplest thing ever.
“I don't even know where to get the paperwork. We don't have time to worry about it right this minute. And it looks like you signed on to the show under Austin James.”
“I'm sure all that can be changed. It's not a big deal.”
I was surprised that there was no resistance to changing her name anymore. And that was enough to placate my need for it.
Austin
“What do you need to do now?” he asked.
I loved that he was spending the day on set with me—my first day. As embarrassing as it was, I needed him there. My safety net.
“Just wait until hair and makeup's ready.” I gestured toward the trailer.
It was the basic Star Waggon, though it looked much bigger than I had expected. But I knew production wouldn’t spring for a new trailer before knowing if we would get picked up for more than one season.
I really hope they cleaned the hell out of it.
I couldn't deal with any kind of mildew, vomit, or... anything smells.
Instinctively, I held my breath as I opened the trailer door. But when I stepped inside and my eyes fully adjusted, my breath left me in a rush.
“Holy shit,” I muttered, taking in the luxury, contemporary, custom trailer.
There was a galley kitchen with stainless steel appliances. Built-in, state-of-the-art entertainment center was across from a built-out couch nook. The floors were gray, the cabinets and built-ins were dark walnut, and everything else was white except one single black leather chair.
“You did this?” I asked, glancing over at him as I moved toward the back, past the fifteen-foot, white leather sofa and into the expansive makeup area, complete with a shampoo bowl.
Oh. My. God.
Turning, I faced David. Then my eyes caught on a door at the opposite end of the trailer.
Holy crap, there's more.
Once on the other side of the kitchen and up a small staircase, I was standing in a full bath and bedroom, complete with a built-in entertainment center.
It was fucking nice by apartment standards, by trailer standards...
When I turned to exit the bedroom area, David was leaning in the doorway. Without warning or thought, I launch myself at him. Effortlessly, his large hands caught me under my thighs as I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
He laughed softly, a happy, pleased sound as I planted smacking kisses up his neck and along his stubble-rough jaw, until my lips met his.
When I pulled back, his broad smile matched mine.
“Babe, this is amazing!” I nearly squealed before admitting, “But it's too much.”
Smirking, he said, “It's my understanding you'll be here a lot, which means I most likely will too—and Chance. So we need something that will feel homey—our home away from home.”
It was super modern and sleek with a slight hint of mid-century style—I loved it.
“Why did you do this?” I asked, staring into those piercing dark eyes—eyes drunk with victory.
“Trying to impress you,” he admitted readily.
“What? Why?” I asked, genuinely confused by his response.
“You're never impressed by anything.” He was so open and vulnerable, it caught me off guard.
Afraid of what seriousness might be causing it, afraid that kiss was still bothering him, I didn't ask.
I had never regretted anything so much in my life. I felt like I should've waited until David was present, as crazy as that was. Waited to give him a chance to change his mind.
Something.
I hated how much it hurt him.
I’d been so caught up in dealing with my own issues, getting past them, I had completely forgotten about David’s.
“That's not true,” I whispered sincerely, holding his gaze, silently begging him to hear me, believe me. “You impress me every fucking day.” When he didn't respond, I added, “My car and my diamond impressed the hell out of me.” I held my left hand up between us. “Your dick impresses me.”
That finally got a sexy little smirk from him.
“Well, I got that going for me at least.” He hitched me up, then turned, going to the sofa. He sat on the edge, giving me time to adjust my legs, straddling his lap, before he settled back against the cushions.
“And your body. The way you treat me... Or is that to impress me too?” I asked, folding my arms across his pecs, leani
ng into him.
“No,” he rumbled, his hands smoothing up and down my sides. “Taking care of you makes me feel like you’re mine.”
Holding his gaze, I whispered sincerely, “I am.”
Seconds later, one of the PA's popped in, interrupting our moment.
“Miss James, hair and makeup is ready for you,” she announced from the open doorway.
“Come with?” I asked David, squeezing his hand.
“Anything you want,” he rasped.
As we followed the PA to the hair and makeup trailer, she looked over her shoulder at me and asked, “Have you chosen a PA yet?”
“No, I thought one would be assigned to me.” I glanced over at David, instinctively looking to him for answers, but he had none.
“Ah, we were told you would be choosing.”
I'm not sure why I was expected to choose; they were all strangers to me.
“What's your name?” I asked as I grabbed David’s hand. It was an instinctive move, as if I needed him to defend me from this petite little redhead.
“Jessica.”
“Jessica, do you want to be my PA?”
“Yes, of course!”
“Okay,” I hesitated, surprised by her enthusiasm.
“Great,”she chirped. “I'll get your schedule for the week and give me your dietary list, and I'll make sure your trailer is stocked daily.”
“All right,” I agreed.
Though, I noticed David didn't seem too pleased. I guess he really did like doing everything for me.
He sat with me through hair and makeup, chatting with the men and women, quickly drawing a crowd, making the space cramped.
“I'll do your lipstick when you're on set. I don't want it to bleed onto your face in the meantime,” Kathleen, the makeup artist, explained as she looked over her handiwork.
“Helloooo,” I heard a familiar voice croon behind me. “Well, look at this motherfucker, already trying to steal the spotlight,” Alec teased, making his way through the bodies to David.
There were so many people between us, I could only see David in the mirror.
Alec leaned over David, doing their shoulder slapping, aggressive bro handshake.
“She's too pretty for you, you know that right?” Alec deadpanned, gesturing toward me.
“Then she’s definitely too hot for your ugly ass,” David shot back smoothly.
The energy between the two of them was a brotherly, competitive ribbing.
“And your trailer.” Alec caught my gaze in the mirror. “Where's mine?” His eyes narrowed and he tease, “You know I'm more famous than you, right?”
“Write your own show then, you little bitch, and stop whining.” David’s rich, deep voice filled the trailer and everyone fell silent, not understanding his banter.
“Production did not give me that,” I added. “David bought it.”
Alec looked at David, eyebrows drawn together. “Hook me up.”
David scowled. “Hook yourself up.”
“Did you go in?” I asked, getting to my feet.
“Yeah, was looking for you,” Alec answered, opening the trailer door for me.
“Thank you, Kathleen,” I called over my shoulder before we descended the stairs, exiting, David right behind us.
“When you knock on the door and she doesn't answer, that does not mean come in,” David grumbled as we headed back toward my trailer.
Once in my trailer, Alec and I quickly settled in on the couch, while David found us coffee and called in Jessica to give her my food list, then texted Aaron to get us lunch and the essentials for the day. He had completely taken over, I was starting to wonder if he wanted to be my PA.
“We’ve gotta get some real food up here,” David complained as he sat next to me, creating a physical barrier in addition to the vast space between Alec and me.
Clearly, he was still bothered by that kiss. And he using the food—and anything else he could find—as an excuse to vent instead of going directly after Alec. That was proof to me how close they really were.
Pulling my legs up, I curled into his side, trying to reassure him while selfishly enjoying the feel of his body against mine.
“Need to get a personal chef to come out every day,” Alec added thoughtfully.
“Let me handle that.” David leaned back against me, his arm wrapping around my legs, tucking them tighter into his side.
I sighed, relaxing, comforted by the weight and heat of his arm and body on mine.
Cuddled up on the sofa, I played with the TV system while David and Alec talked. We stayed like that, throughout all the PA’s interruptions, until Aaron arrived, bringing all of David’s requests.
“Nice trailer, Austin.” Aaron nodded. “Alec, good to see you.”
Before I could respond, there was another knock on the trailer door.
“Come in,” I called out, earning me a disapproving glare from David, obviously displeased with my repeated casualness.
“Miss James, they need you in wardrobe again,” Jessica called from the now open door.
Getting to my feet, I looked at David. “Be back.”
Following Jessica out, I took one more backward glance, finding David watching me, while Alec and Aaron were in a deep provision discussion.
I couldn’t help but feel like a was just starting to get the full picture of who and what David’s life consisted of before me. Alec and Aaron were so comfortable with each other, as comfortable as David and Aaron were. The thought that I might have damaged his relationship with Alec made me sick. I was going to have to find a way to make David see it for what it was, nothing.
Entering the wardrobe department, I was met by a platinum blonde woman dressed in a bright orange, patterned shirt and green camo fitted pants.
It was lively and eccentric.
I loved it.
“Austin, I'm Delia. I'll be dressing you this season.”
“Hi,” I greeted, shaking her hand.
“Ohhh, this is going to be so much fun,” she said, eyeing my body. “Strip down, you can leave on your panties,” she directed before disappearing into a back room.
That was fine, except I forgot to wear panties...
****
Thirty minutes later, I was sewn into a red, backless, strapless, barely there dress. It made Jessica Rabbit's signature dress look demure.
The side slit ended three inches above the crease of my thigh, exposing the edge of the black lace panties wardrobe had on hand. The sweetheart neckline plunged dangerously low, taking away any bra option. Fortunately, the bone corset was more than capable of handling it's job—holding my boobs up. And while I'd never been a fan of red, it was striking and perfect for the scene.
It really set in then. It was really happening; I was about to film the first scene for the pilot.
Fuck…
I stared at my reflection. My hair was perfect as was my makeup, and the dress... But that didn't make a performance; that didn't make a show successful.
What if I seriously fuck this up? What if they realize I'm a shit writer and actor? What if—
“Dear, you seem nervous? Let me get you a Xanax,” Delia whispered.
My gaze darted to her, surprised by the offer. “No, I'm good.”
I slipped my UGGs back on and headed toward my trailer, trying to shake it off. But I could feel the tension in my back and neck tightening with each step.
“Austin,” Kathleen called from the makeup trailer, quickly catching up with me. “Do you need something to help you relax? I was going to offer it to you earlier, but there were so many people in there... I have some Xanax. It really will help get you through the first day jitters.”
God, did I look like a ball of nerves?
I couldn't deny I felt like it. I mean, the show was huge for me—I wrote it, and I was the lead. If the show failed, it was on me, and it would leave these people unemployed for who knew how long.
Yeah, you could say I was stressed.
“No.
Thank you, though.”
Making the trek back to my trailer, the tension built as the full weight of my current situation settled in. I had been successfully shoving it aside, or so I thought.
Maybe I had just been ignoring it, not hiding it.
When I approached the trailer, David was standing outside talking to Alec. Aaron was nowhere in sight.
At David's wide-eyed expression, I looked down, realizing how obscene my breasts were in the dress. They bounced up and down like water balloons with each step. I wasn't sure if a nipple had escaped, and without a mirror, I couldn't tell.
Fuck, I forgot my cardigan.
It had been so long since I’d been on a set, I’d pretty much forgotten all my staples—baggy sweats, cardigan, blanket, pillow and my laptop.
“I'll be in hair and makeup. See you on set.” Alec was clearly unmoved by my appearance, which I hoped David noticed.
“’Kay,” I sighed, turning to David.
His eyebrows pulled together, making that cute W. “What's wrong?”
The list was long.
“I forgot my fucking cardigan, along with everything else. My tits are bouncing all over the place, and two fucking people have offered me Xanax,” I whispered harshly.
I hadn’t even been aware it bothered me that much until that moment. Sure, I was stressed and nervous, but to basically tell a complete stranger to take Xanax? I had gone from offended to pissed.
“Austin, calm down. We—”
“Don't fucking tell me to calm down,” I snapped.
His eyebrows lifted, in either offense or surprise, I couldn't tell. But his expression made me aware of my behavior.
I was stressed. I was freaking out, and I was taking it out on him. I only knew one way to fix it. Grabbing David's hand, I pulled him into the trailer.
“Austin, just—” he tried.
“We all have our own vices,” I cut him off, my tone cold as I pushed him down onto the couch.
He stared up at me confused, and I softened instantly. He had to be the sweetest fucking man I’d ever met.
“For some it's alcohol,” I rasped, toeing my boots off. “For others it's drugs.” I slid the lacy panties down, letting them fall to the floor, stepping out of them. Pulling my dress up, I crawled into his lap, my knees on either side of his thighs, my hands gripping the firm swells of his shoulders as I leaned in. “For me... it's fucking you,” I breathe against his lips. “Filthy. Sweet. It doesn't matter... Your cock is my own personal Xanax. From bitch to chill with just a few deep strokes.”