by Laura Ward
“Landon, you lost your football scholarship and got kicked out of your house because of my presence in your life. That is a ton of pressure. What if, tonight, you find out you were wrong. What if I don’t live up to the hype?”
I looked out the window again and the truck lurched abruptly as Landon pulled off the road. He got out of his seat, slammed the door, and yanked my door open. He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me down to the ground. I looked up into his blazing eyes as he breathed roughly.
He cupped my cheek with his one bandaged hand and wrapped his large fingers around the back of my head with the other. He didn’t speak. He just stared at me for a long minute. I couldn’t help myself. I reached up on my tiptoes and brought my lips to his, kissing him softly. He grunted, sounding like he was holding back from something, and let me kiss him. I wrapped my fingers in his hair and he lifted me in the air as I took control. My tongue entwined with his as I kissed him as wildly as I could. He met me with equal force as we tried to express our feelings to one another through kiss and touch alone—words couldn’t do the job.
I wanted our first time to be in a bed, but, at that moment, if he had laid me on the seat of his truck, I would have let him. Landon’s passion overwhelmed me. He wrapped my legs around him and his desire pressed against me. I moaned and my body went lax against his. His hands moved freely all over my back, sides, ass, and head. He was worshipping me and we hadn’t done anything yet other than kiss.
He finally pulled back and looked at me with hunger. Both of our lips were red and swollen and we were breathing harshly. “Get it?”
I couldn’t help but break into a huge grin. He was so adorable and he believed that strongly in us. And he was also absolutely right. Any kiss that could feel like that was proof enough. This was not in our heads. This was real and no one would be disappointed tonight.
“Got it,” I murmured timidly, knowing his point was both well delivered and very well received. He gently put me back in the truck, kissed me softly, and shut my door.
Got it? I sure as hell did.
***
WE DROVE FOR hours before we agreed to stop in Springfield, Missouri for the night. Landon decided to splurge on a nice hotel room using his emergency credit card. Since we were pretty sure said credit card would be turned off any day, we agreed that this could be like his graduation party, it just happened to have only two guests. And an itinerary that involved much more nudity than the average high school graduation fiesta.
I think.
We walked into the Hilton Springfield, clasping our hands tightly together. The sentiments running through me left me shaking. Landon gave me a swift kiss on the cheek as he booked our room for the night. I couldn’t help but look around in awe at our surroundings. The main floor of the hotel was mostly made of glass, providing an unobstructed view of historic downtown Springfield. The detailed carpets, dark wood desks, and sleek modern furniture were nicer than anything I had ever seen. I knew Landon was used to traveling, and traveling well, but I was completely out of my comfort zone. If it wasn’t a Super-8, it was foreign ground to me. I may be older, but it was clear he was wiser in this area.
We picked this stopping point because it was along our mapped route to L.A., and we had been in the truck for over seven hours. We were tired of driving, but we were also giddily anxious to be together. Peering up at Landon’s profile as we rode the glass walled elevator up to the seventeenth floor, I swallowed hard. He looked so calm, so at ease, and so happy. Thank God he looked happy again.
Our room was small, particularly so considering what Landon paid for it, but it had a huge bed filling the center of the room, with plump white pillows and a white downy blanket. I honestly didn’t think anything else mattered except for the bed, but I did appreciate the white and gray marbled bathroom, with white robes hanging on the back of the door. I had never been to a hotel with white robes.
I pictured Landon and me wearing these robes… after showering together… after making love. Oh shit. This was happening. Like right now. I was going to be naked in front of Landon and his hands would be on me again.
My mouth was suddenly very dry. I was so ready and still so terrified. There was nothing I wanted more, but… What if this changed everything—and not in a good way? I knew Landon convinced me of our mutual desire in the truck, but I was stuck on the me part of this. I was very inexperienced and what if I just sucked? What if my fairytale ended with me lying paralyzed and flat as a board in bed because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing? What if my lack of experience was a deal breaker?
Landon carried our overnight bags into the room and dropped them by the closet door. I turned to look at him and the butterflies grew in my stomach at his expression. This was my guy. I couldn’t believe it. Someone this stunning, and yet this loving, wanted me. And I wanted him so very badly.
“Land….” I took a step forward and ran my hand down his chest. He stood staring at me, not saying a word, but his chest began to rise and fall rapidly. As scared as I was about disappointing him, I had to have this man. My need for him was all-consuming. He had waited for me. He had fought for us. I wanted to launch myself on him.
“I want you so much. I love you so much,” I whispered to him, my heart pounding in my chest. Was any moment in my life more important than this one?
Landon brought his lips to mine and kissed me tenderly. He ran his large hands up and down my arms, until I wrapped them around his neck. He kissed underneath my ear, down my neck, and back up along my jaw. Unable to hold back any longer, I grasped his chin with one hand and pulled his lips back to mine. Our moans mingled together in a beautiful melody of need and desire. Finally, he scooped me up and carried me to the bed. Lying side by side, I slid my fingertips gently down his face, watching his jaw clench with fierce restraint and want. “You are wonderful, you know that?” I needed him to realize just how much I adored him—loved him.
He shook his head, closing his eyes to my words, and I kissed each eyelid reverently. He finally opened his eyes and we gazed at one another for a few sweet moments.
“Land, I …” We both startled as my cell phone rang and I recognized Evie’s number. It was 9:01. Landon looked down and gruffly told me to answer it. Since the day at the hospital, I could never ignore my sister’s phone calls.
“Hi, Evie, are you calling with a report for me?”
Landon lay back on the pillow and I clutched his hand in mine. I rubbed his knuckles and stroked the enlarged veins in his hand as I talked. He closed his eyes and smiled, feeling the loving intimacy in my touch.
“You with Landon? I talk’d to Mom. In California?” Evie was giggling and whispering into the phone. God love her, she knew I wanted my relationship with Landon to be secret, and she was determined to keep it that way.
“Yes, I am. We’re in a hotel in Missouri, on our way to California. Listen, Evie, you don’t have to whisper anymore. Landon graduated and I finished teaching. We are both students in college now and we aren’t hiding anymore.”
Landon gripped my hand tightly, opening his eyes, and we stared at one another, reveling at our new reality, while I spoke with Evie.
She giggled with happiness into the phone. “Oh yeah, I’m happy. I like him. And he’s hot.” She giggled again. “Can I visit you soon?”
“You better. Maybe Garrett can come, too?” Evie had never been on an airplane, and I was hoping she and my mom could fly to California and see us.
“Yes! Please!” Evie squealed.
After we said our goodbyes, I silenced my cell phone before climbing back up the bed to Landon. He played with my hair as I rested my head on his chest.
“Land, we haven’t really had ‘the talk’ yet—but I think we should.” I paused, sensing how awkward this felt. “I’m on the pill and have only ever had sex with a condom. I’ve been very… selective, so I know I’m safe. I don’t know what you have done in the past, but I have to ask. Is there anything I should know?”
I didn’t look up when I asked him, too embarrassed by how direct I was being, but I had to know the answer before I could go forward. I continued to trace shapes on his shirt with my fingers, nervously.
Landon pulled me up to him and kissed me. “Don’t worry, short stuff. I had to get tested for IU and I’m totally healthy. I’ve always worn a condom—every single time—and I haven’t even kissed another girl since I met you.”
I smiled and kissed him again, dreading the answer to my next question, but knowing I had to ask it. “Every ‘single time,’ huh? So, have there been a lot of ‘single times’?” I was nervous again, but I needed full disclosure in a relationship.
Landon seemed worried now, for the first time. “Well, how many is a lot, Em? I mean… maybe. I guess I’ve been with a few, but no one since I met you. I swear.”
“Like less than one hundred?” I was starting to panic.
He laughed loudly. “Yes! I’m not a whore. I was just… well… popular at Zionsville.”
Now I laughed loudly. “Popular is an understatement. You were adored. You had a following. Like a bunch of young puppies. I…I just needed to know, you know, what I’m up against.” I sat up to look at him and he quickly sat next to me on the bed.
“What you’re up against?” He placed light kisses down the side of my face and nipped at my ears. “Em, not one of those girls could hold a candle to you. You are IT for me.”
I had dreamed of this moment for the past eleven months, hell, maybe for my whole life. I was desired by an incredibly sexy man who had changed his life for me, or, at least, in part because of me. A shudder ran through me at the thought.
Landon felt my shudder and grinned wickedly as he licked the edge of my earlobe. He then turned me face to him and kissed me slowly, savoring my mouth and taste until he broke away only to pull off my shirt. Next my bra was relieved from duty and slid off my shoulders.
“Em, you’re perfect.” He kissed each of my breasts slowly, circling the nipple with his tongue until I moaned. His tongue felt so warm and wet against my sensitive skin I thought I was on a different planet. I had forgotten how good he was with that mouth of his. I closed my eyes, unable to keep the stupid grin off my face as I pictured him dragging that hot mouth further south, down my body… Right where he could bring me the most pleasure.
Then he raised his head with a grin. “Wait a minute. I get to ask the same thing. What is my competition like?”
I could feel the burn of embarrassment as I looked away. Landon kissed my neck and licked his way up to my ear. “Nothing you could say would upset me. Talk to me,” he whispered in my ear as he nipped it with his teeth. His subtle seduction of my neck and ears was making it very difficult to speak. My heart raced and I pushed him back onto the bed. Straddling him, I lifted his shirt off and kissed his chest slowly.
“I’ve only been with one other person. I only want to make love to someone if I’m in love with them. I thought I loved Jeremy—but I know now that I had no clue what real love was. What I feel for you is real love, Land, and I want to experience it all. So you need to make love to me now before I go crazy… Will you?”
Landon’s eyes widened and he sat up so we were nose to nose. “No one has ever asked me to make love to them before. That is so unbelievably sexy. And, Em, I’ve never loved anyone—not anyone—before you. So, in reality, this is my very first time making love, too. There is nothing and no one I want more.”
He kissed along my collarbone and then looked at me with his signature—intoxicating, exhilarating—wicked grin. “Since we’re both safe and you’re on the pill, I want to feel you with nothing between us—like I’ve never felt anyone else before.”
I nodded, unable to find the right words but eager to show him how much it meant that we would share these firsts together. He kissed me, hard on the mouth, and whispered raggedly, “I need you so bad.”
I watched his lips move as he spoke to me and heard his voice, shredded with desire. I was falling. I was falling into a hole so deep, so vast, I would never be able to get out. And I never wanted to. I never wanted the ability to recover from Landon Washington.
We kissed again, allowing it to grow stronger and out of control, knowing we could finally finish what we started. We could take this all the way. As the passion behind our kiss grew, the apprehension melted from my body. This was right. I loved Landon with all my heart. I needed to let go.
Landon slid off my shorts and panties, while I quickly unbuttoned his shorts and slid them down. The room was completely quiet. The only sound was our breathing, which was intensifying by the second. Just the bedside lamp and night skyline lit the room, leaving a soft, romantic glow. The smell that I had grown to crave, the one I could find lingering in a hallway, even when he was long gone, the smell of woods and summer—filled my senses. I buried my face in his neck and inhaled deeply—wanting to cry out loud. How many hours had I smelled him and wanted him and thought this night would never come? My heart beat rapidly in my chest as I pulled his boxer briefs down and then Landon moved over me, holding himself up by his elbows.
“Land. Touch me. Please.”
Landon smirked. “Patience, short stuff. No need to rush perfection.” He moved down between my legs and pushed them open to the sides. Slowly, he moved up my body, kissing my knees, thighs, belly button—everywhere and anywhere but where I really needed him. The tease was too much.
“Lower, please,” I begged. Landon dragged his tongue lightly across my belly, as I writhed on the bed below him.
“Here?” he asked, lifting his head to grin at me.
“Lower,” I demanded, as he grazed his lips along my bikini line.
“How about here?” He gently kissed me, so close to where I needed him, but still denying me.
“Oh. Please, Land. Lower.” My voice came out as a ragged whisper, and I squirmed underneath him, now reaching new levels of neediness.
“Is this good?” His tongue traced fire along my inner thigh and his breath was hot on my skin.
If he wanted me begging and ready to go over the edge, he sure as hell got it. I bucked my body against him. “Please, please, kiss me—there. Lick me—there. Please, I’ve waited so long. Need you so much.” Bitchy, controlling, too tough Emma was freaking pleading with this man to go down on me. What the hell had happened?
Landon had happened. He chuckled softly and brought his tongue down between my legs, as I began to praise Jesus in a way I had only heard of in southern Baptist churches. It was heavenly. It was glorious. It was the best orgasm of my life. Landon worked me up so that my body arched on the bed, as I clawed at the sheets, imploring him to never stop, until the fireworks overtook me and I fell back in a jumble of limbs.
Landon kissed his way up my body, whispering how much he loved tasting me until he met my lips and I kissed him back, tasting myself. I wanted to blush, I wanted to duck under a pillow—but this was my Landon, and I finally felt safe and whole. I had lost all inhibitions.
I rolled him under me and crawled down his body until I found him, ready and waiting for me as I licked him slowly. His body jerked underneath me and he called my name, as I stroked him, kissed him, and sucked him lightly. Then, feeling braver and more confident than I had ever known, I straddled him, raising above him for a moment and then sinking down quickly, letting him fill me.
We both cried out at the same time. I knew for sure that I screamed his name when I felt his huge, hardness fill me completely. He sat straight up, so we were again nose to nose, his eyes wide with lust. “Emma, baby—this feels, shit….. This is….Fuuccckk!”
I kissed him softly, stroking the sides of his face gently, knowing I needed to calm him down. He lay back on the bed, as I started to move above him. My knees on the bed, I raised up and down on him, finding a rhythm that felt earth shattering to me, until I shook with pleasure.
Landon then flipped me onto my back and took over. I ran my hands down his damp back, grabbing his ass and pushing him deeper into
me. Would anything be close enough? How could we possibly satisfy this urge?
Landon used one hand to hold himself above me and cupped my face with his other. “Look at me. I want to see you come. Let me watch you, Em.”
I so desperately wanted to close my eyes, as Landon pumped into me faster and harder, harder and faster. I could feel the orgasm building and I wanted to internalize it. I wanted to feel it, but lock it away somewhere private. But he and I had made a commitment. We were starting this journey together. So, I kept my eyes open and let him watch me explode in an orgasm that rocked me from head to toe.
“Land… I’m…I love you…” My eyes rolled back in my head, but when Landon stiffened against me and began to chant my name, I pulled myself together enough to watch him as he climaxed. He called my name out in a final long moan, before falling into my arms.
We were quiet for a while and then I felt my emotions rise to the surface. That was the most incredible encounter of my life and I was officially scared shitless.
Tears rolled down my face and Landon looked at me with pure devotion. “My Em. No tears, that was so… I never… Hey…. Why are you crying?” His voice was so tortured I wanted to cry harder for what I was putting him through.
“I’m scared right now, Land. I’m so scared.” I wiped the tears off my face, wishing I was stronger—tougher—less vulnerable. This was the part of me I had always hidden from everyone. But not from Landon. Not anymore.
“Talk to me. Tell me what you’re scared of.” Landon was so patient, so loving, as he held my face and listened to me weep.
“I don’t know how to trust that a man will stick around. That you will stick around. My father didn’t stay and no other guy has before. I am terrified that when things get bad, you’ll leave. I don’t think I could survive losing you again.” I drew a deep breath. “Especially after tonight.” I grabbed his biceps tightly, desperately. “I can’t lose you after this, after tonight.”