They were even dabbling in a bit of culture. An art installation was on display in the park. Several steel pieces—nothing that Paxton could decipher the meaning of—surrounded the park’s central feature, a classic wooden waterwheel that, after years of sitting idle, was finally churning again.
Instead of checking out the artwork, Paxton headed straight for her favorite area of the park, the arbor. In the spring its rustic, spindly branches were covered in sweet-scented wisteria, fostering the perfect hideaway to steal a few moments of peace.
“I love this place,” Paxton said, pulling in a deep breath even though the last blooms of wisteria had left with the hot summer sun. “On my list of top ten things I’ve missed about Gauthier this past year, this park is number two.”
“What’s number one?”
“My dog, of course,” Paxton said.
He chuckled. “Not your mom?”
She shook her head. “Belinda and I talked on the phone every single day, but I missed not having Heinz around to nuzzle.”
“Why didn’t you bring him with you to Arkansas?”
Paxton shrugged. “I have a condo in Little Rock. Heinz needs space to run. And he’s always been Belinda’s companion just as much as he’s been mine. I didn’t even bring him with me when I bought my house over on Pine Street here in Gauthier. I couldn’t take him away from everything he’s known.”
“You sold that house, right?”
She nodded.
“Why?”
Paxton’s forehead scrunched up with her confused frown. “Because I was moving.”
“So Little Rock wasn’t just a trial run. You plan to stay there?”
Her steps slowed until she stopped completely. With a shake of her head, Paxton admitted, “I still don’t know.”
Sawyer leaned back against one of the arbor’s thick support beams and shoved his hands in his pockets.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked.
The weighted tone of his voice told Paxton she probably didn’t want to hear what he had to say, but she decided not to be a coward for once and answered, “Go ahead.”
“Did you leave because of what happened between us?”
She’d expected his question would be along these lines, but she was still a bit awed by his boldness.
“That happened three years ago, Sawyer. I left last year, two years after you were already married and living in Chicago,” she pointed out. “Why would you think you had anything to do with me leaving?”
He hunched his shoulders, looking chagrined. “Wishful thinking.”
“So you wish that I was still so affected by that one night we spent together that I had to pick up and leave everything I love?”
“When you put it that way it makes me seem arrogant.”
Her brow arched. “You think?”
She was proud of the calm facade she was able to maintain. Because the truth was he did have something to do with her leaving. She’d wanted him for so long but had convinced herself that there was no way a poor girl from Landreaux could ever be with one of the richest guys in town. Then three years ago, in a night that she still dreamed about all too often, it had all changed. She’d fulfilled her longtime fantasy. And after just that one taste, she knew it would never be enough.
Paxton also knew she would never find someone living here in Gauthier who made her feel what Sawyer had made her feel that night. She’d left for Little Rock hoping to find his replacement out there somewhere.
It had been a fool’s mission. There was no one else out there who could replace him.
But, then again, after what she’d learned over the past few days, it was possible that finding a replacement was unnecessary. If Shayla was to be believed, the real thing had wanted her all along.
“I have a question for you,” Paxton said. Sawyer looked over at her, his brows arching. “I was talking to Shayla yesterday and she mentioned that time in high school when she tutored you in math.”
“Okay,” Sawyer said.
“She pointed out something that I hadn’t really considered back then.” She backed herself up to the support beam opposite his and leaned against it, crossing her arms over her chest. “You were one of the best students in our class. You didn’t really need tutoring,” she said.
He slowly shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”
“So, why were you getting tutored?”
His focused gaze remained on her, staring intently. “I’m going to let you figure that one out on your own,” he said. “Because, if I remember correctly, you were pretty sharp yourself.”
A bead of shock coursed down her spine as her mouth fell open. “Are you kidding me? You really came to the animal shelter to see me?”
“What do you think, Paxton?”
“But...why?” she asked.
“Why? It isn’t that hard to figure out.”
Her eyes widened even more. They grew so wide Paxton was afraid she wouldn’t be able to close them again.
“That’s just crazy,” she said with an awe-filled breath.
“Why is it so hard to believe that I had a thing for you back in high school?”
“Because it is,” she said. “Girls threw themselves at you left and right. Prettier girls. More popular girls. Girls who were known to put out. Why would you have wanted to date me back then?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he said with a casual shrug, but his voice belied the nonchalant body language. “You were smart, cute, tough. You didn’t just fall in line with what everyone else did. You actually had a mind of your own, and you weren’t afraid to use it, no matter what other people thought about you.”
“And you found that...attractive?”
“Extremely attractive,” he said. “I still do.”
She sucked in the deepest breath possible. “Don’t say that, Sawyer.”
“Why?” He pushed away from the beam and started toward her, his slow and steady stride like a panther’s stalking its prey. He stopped mere inches from her, his hard chest incredibly close to hers.
The image of how it looked naked, shimmering with sweat, ripped with muscles, flashed before her eyes. That image was imbued on her brain, a sexy, sensual reminder of her one unforgettable night with him.
Paxton’s eyes shut as a tidal wave of want crashed through her.
“Tell me, Pax,” he whispered. His warm breath fluttered against her skin. “Why don’t you want to hear how much I want you?”
“Because...” She managed to speak past the lust wedged in her throat.
“Is it because it makes you think about how much you want me?” He leaned in closer, his lips a hairbreadth from hers. “Tell me you want me, Paxton. Admit it.”
She shook her head. In a desperate whisper, she said, “I don’t want to fall for you, Sawyer.”
His deep chuckle reverberated against her skin.
“Don’t worry, love,” he said as he closed in on her. “I’ll make it worth the fall.”
It started out slow, this kiss she had secretly been wanting since the last time he’d kissed her. But his pace quickened with lightning speed. Just as it had the night she’d driven him home after he drank too much at Harlon’s, the night he’d stripped her clothes from her body right in the middle of his parents’ living room. The night she’d gripped his naked hips in her hands, dropped to her knees and took his sinfully hard flesh into her mouth.
Now it was his tongue invading her mouth, pushing past the seam of her lips and thrusting inside. As his tongue explored, his hands slipped onto her hips and then to her sides and finally up her back. His fingertips pressed into the small of her back before inching lower, grasping her butt. He tugged her closer to him, his body hardening against her stomach.
Paxton moaned.
God, she’
d wanted this. Had craved it. How foolish she’d been to try to find it with other men. No one could hold a candle to the way Sawyer commanded her body.
Her nipples grew tight and achy, the sheer and lace of her bra abrading the quickly hardening buds. She rested her arms on his broad shoulders and ran her palms along the back of his head, pulling him closer.
Emotions she had been too afraid to feel flowed through her as he moved his lips from her mouth to trail them down her jaw and along her neck. His touch was so loving, almost worshipful. It made her pulse with pleasure with every single caress. His featherlight kisses triggered goose bumps. They elevated along her skin, popping up wherever he touched.
He nudged his nose behind her ear and whispered, “It’s a risk to go any further in a public park, but I’m willing to go all the way if you are.”
Even as his words caused a shudder to run through her, they jerked Paxton out of her sensual daze. She couldn’t get lost in his kiss again. She wouldn’t. She still shouldered so much guilt from the last time they did this. She couldn’t take on any more.
“I can’t,” she said, pulling slightly away. She gave him a gentle push when what she really wanted to do was pull him closer.
Dammit. She so didn’t want to stop.
But she knew she should. After the way she’d preyed on his vulnerabilities the last time, using him for her own pleasure yet again would just complicate things. They still had to work together; she could not afford complications.
He swooped in for another kiss, but she held him back. “Stop,” she said.
Paxton could feel the reluctance in the way his shoulders dropped, but he backed away.
When he looked at her his expression was a mixture of annoyance and lingering desire.
“Why do you keep doing that?” he asked. “For someone who’s so damn smart, you keep making this same stupid move. We can be good together, Pax. Can’t you see that?”
“No,” she said, straightening her blouse, which had been skewed during their unbelievably heated kiss.
“Why not? Why is that so hard for you to accept?”
“You want to know why?” she asked, finding her footing again. “Because this isn’t a fairy tale. This is the real world. And in the real world Paxton Jones from the wrong side of Landreaux Creek is not the kind of girl people expect to see on Sawyer Robertson’s arm. It just doesn’t happen.”
“Who cares what people expect? And in whose world are you talking about? Because in my real world, we’re damn near perfect for each other. We fit, Pax. Accept that.”
“We do not,” she argued. She gestured to him. “Look at you. You’re Sawyer Robertson. Prom king. Captain of the football team. It was like the damn sea parted every time you walked down the hallway.”
“That was twenty years ago. Get over it.” She jumped back at his tone. “And if you hadn’t been so hell-bent on making me into whatever untouchable, unattainable thing you created in your head, you could have been walking down that hallway with me, right by my side.”
Even as he said the words, Paxton still couldn’t bring herself to believe them. They were in direct opposition to everything she’d believed for too many years for her to just accept it as truth.
“If anyone is to blame for us not being together in the real world, it’s you,” he said. “You’re the one who closed yourself off. You never even gave me a chance.”
She stared at him for several heartbeats, her blood moving so swiftly through her veins she could actually hear it.
“Like you said, that was twenty years ago. The distant past. It makes no sense to talk about it now, right?”
“Right,” he said. “Forget high school. I want to talk about the here and now.”
“Okay,” she said. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Let’s say we do it. Say we sleep together. Not once, not twice, but for the next few weeks. Me and you, every single night.”
“I can get with that plan.”
“What happens after that?” Paxton asked. “Would you really consider there being anything more between us than just sex?”
“Why wouldn’t I, Paxton? Do you really believe your own bullshit about the two of us not being together because I grew up with money and you didn’t?”
Her shoulders deflated as she suddenly became too exhausted for this conversation, especially after the whirlwind emotional roller coaster she’d been on with this morning’s tour.
“I don’t care how you slice it, Sawyer. It’s the same pie. You get the bigger piece because you come from money.”
He pitched his head back and let out a curse. “This is insane.”
“I agree, just not on the same thing that you do. I think it’s insane for you to think that there could ever be more between us than that one night. We are too different, Sawyer. We’ve always been too different.”
His jaw grew rigid as he stared at her with an intensity that made her nerves stand on end.
“Just tell me one thing,” he said, his voice low and thick with accusation. “If the thought of the two of us being together is so damn improbable to you, why did you sleep with me at all?”
“Simple,” Paxton said with a casual shrug, hating herself for the lie she was about to tell. “I wanted sex.”
* * *
The sting of those three words hurt more than Sawyer could have imagined. The defiant lift to her chin stung even more.
But the sting only lasted for a second. Because Sawyer wasn’t buying it.
She’d tried this before, when she told him she was over that night they’d shared together, and he’d proven her wrong. He would prove her wrong again, because it had not been about just sex that night.
She could tell herself that lie all she wanted to. She may even believe it. But he would be damned if he let her go on believing it for one more day. She was going to admit that she felt something for him.
“So, that’s all I was for you that night?” he asked in a deceptively casual voice. “Just an available body?”
His gaze skimmed her features, relishing the discomfort he caught when her eyes flashed to his.
Good. She deserved to feel uncomfortable.
Instead of answering his questions, she crossed her arms over her chest again and asked her own. “Are you saying it was more than just a drunken night of sex for you?”
“Only one of us was drunk that night,” Sawyer said. And it had been him. He knew she wasn’t drunk because when he’d first offered to buy her a drink she’d declined, telling him that she never drank when she tended bar. She eventually relented after he’d pleaded with her, indulging in only one shot of tequila.
“And I wasn’t all that drunk,” Sawyer continued. “I had a few, but it’s not as if I got trashed that night. I was alert enough to do—” he made a slow and deliberate perusal of her body “—things,” he finished.
He caught the way her chest rose and fell with her swift intake of breath, and he knew she was thinking of all the things he’d done to her that night. Things he’d wanted to continue doing to her, over and over, well into the morning.
If she had bothered to stay in his bed.
But she hadn’t. She’d run from him. And despite the small size of the town, she’d managed to avoid him for weeks after their night together. When he finally saw her again, in the parking lot of the grocery store of all places, she’d quickly stuffed her packages in her car and peeled out of the parking lot.
If it had meant nothing to her, why in the hell had she run?
“You can lie to yourself all you want to,” he whispered softly. “But that night wasn’t just about sex, and you damn well know it.”
“Please, just stop it, Sawyer. Stop trying to make it more than it was.” She stared at him, her expression resolved. “You were hurting. You needed comfort. I decided to pr
ovide it. It was a pity fu—”
“Don’t you dare,” he cut her off. He crowded her, invading every inch of her space. “Don’t ever reduce what happened between us to some pity screw.” He pointed to his chest. “I was there. I felt it. I felt the way you shivered in my arms. I felt the way your body clenched mine, the way you clung to me as if it would kill you to let go. That had nothing to do with pity.”
Her chest expanded with the deep breath she inhaled as her eyes fell shut.
Sawyer captured her chin in his hand and tipped her face up. “It was more than just sex, Paxton. You know it was.”
When she opened her eyes they were filled with accusation. “So why did you marry someone else?”
Sawyer dropped his hand. The hurt in her eyes knocked the breath from his lungs, as if it were a physical blow. He took several steps back, his hands falling to his sides.
“Why?” she repeated. “If that night was more than just a pity screw, if it was this magical experience we shared, why did you marry someone else just a few months later, Sawyer?” She sucked in a deep breath before she asked in a pained whisper, “Were the two of you engaged when we slept together?”
“No.” Sawyer shook his head. He ran his palm down his face, suddenly hating everything about this conversation.
“Angelique and I were...” He paused, unsure how to explain his marriage without sounding like a cold, indifferent jerk.
The problem was that his marriage had been cold and indifferent. It had been a mistake from the start, a complete mockery of that sacred institution.
If he explained it to her, would Paxton understand just why he did it, or would it make him look even worse in her eyes? Sawyer realized that he didn’t have a choice. At the very least, he owed her this explanation.
“Angelique and I didn’t have much of an engagement,” he started. He shoved his hands into his pockets and backed up against the beam he’d rested on earlier, knocking a couple of dead leaves from the arbor’s vines. “We didn’t have much of a marriage at all, if you want to know the full truth.” He looked up at Paxton and found her watching him with a rapt, curious gaze.
“I married Angelique because it’s what was expected of me,” Sawyer said. “It’s what my dad wanted. It’s what her dad had wanted.”
Stay with Me Forever (Bayou Dreams Book 6) Page 11