The End of the Rainbow

by Dontá Morrison

  Khalil sat on the barstool at the counter and just watched with enjoyment. “You put money in Lauren’s account?” Somewhat caught off guard by the question, pondered whether he should confess to his banking transaction. He knew that his mother had a way of finding things out, but this was ridiculous. After a few moments of silence he finally confessed that he had given her a little change to hold her over. Vanessa rolled her eyes and continued to put the finishing touch on her infamous dish. “I don’t know why y’all baby her. She is up there spending money on everything except school.”

  “How do you know?” he asked.

  “Because her silly behind just got off the phone with me, talking about some new boots she just bought.”

  “You spoiled her. You bought her a brand new Acura for her high school graduation. You were the one always calling her the princess, so don’t get mad when the princess wants finer things.”

  “I want her to get an education. That’s what I want for her, but ya’ll don’t want to listen to me.”

  “Ya’ll? How did I get in this? All I did was give her money and truth be told she didn’t even ask for it, I volunteered.”

  “OK. Whatever, just be warned that when she starts asking for more you better have it or else she will throw a fit,”

  “I will always have it for my little sister, trust that.” He firmly stated. “So how are you doing? “

  He went to fridge and poured himself a tall glass of fruit punch and Vanessa kept on talking as she got her dinner ready. She was known for always cooking on Sundays and having their longtime church buddies over; but with him moving out and Lauren going off to college; the house was somewhat empty of mouths to feed, so she eased up due to food going bad.

  “I’m fine. So what brings you by? Tyrin must have had plans today that didn’t include you, so you thought you would give me a pity visit.” She said.

  “That’s cold. True, but cold.” He smiled.

  “So where is Tyrin?”

  “Playing basketball. How was church?”

  “It was good as usual. When do you plan on going with me?”

  “Next Sunday. The Christening, remember, the one you constantly remind me about every chance you get.” He said as he threw a Famous Amos cookie into his mouth.

  “I’m talking about a visit without a ceremony. It seems like you only go for funerals and weddings.”

  “I don’t know momma. I’ll surprise you one day and just pop up.” He tried not to sound irritated but it was beginning to seep through.“I don’t understand how you were raised in church, directed the choir, and on occasion even ministered at some of the youth conferences, but now you refuse to give God the time of day. Aren’t you nervous?” she asked.

  “About what?” he questioned.

  “Your soul.”

  Silence filled the room as her last words echoed through his mind. He squirmed in his seat and began to recall all of the church services he went to; the move of the Holy Spirit and the music, how he loved the music. He thought of his friends that were still there and how many of them were now Ministers or Elders. He reminisced on the solos he rendered that always seemed to bring the house down.

  At one time in his life he knew he was going to carry the gospel, but somewhere along his path he had gotten sidetracked. It must have been the men that tried to pick him up after service, or maybe the Pastors adjutant that had private sessions with him. It possibly could have been the choir members that he used to go clubbing with or some of the male ushers that would pass him notes trying to get a date.

  He looked at his mom set the macaroni and cheese into the oven and realized that the place she wanted him to visit was the exact place that introduced him to the lifestyle. If only she knew half of his stories, half of what he had seen, and half of what he had done, her maternal instincts would more than likely try to shield him from that place. Shaking those memories out of his mind he broke the silence and uttered the words, “Jesus loves me.”

  Vanessa looked at her child and with smiling eyes simply responded “Yes he does and always will.” She knew more than he thought she knew, but at the same time she had to be wise in her words so it would not run him farther away from the God she served and loved. “Are you hungry?” she asked.

  “No not really, but I will take a plate to go. I just came by because I hadn’t seen you in awhile and I knew you would go crazy if you knew I were in L.A and didn’t stop by.”

  “I’m fine. I know you are grown and you do your own thing. By the way, your sister said that she wanted to come home and visit for the fourth of July.”

  “Is she driving?”

  “That’s why she called me. She wants to fly so she will have more time to stay. I guess she supposes she will use my car to get around. She’s probably already started calling her little friends and told them she was having a pool party or something,”

  “You know you are going to buy her the ticket so stop trying to act all tuff. And if she has planned a pool party you also know you’re going to be at Smart & Final buying everything they need to make it a success.” Khalil knew how much his mother loved to entertain and always looked for reasons to pull out her party trinkets. “You probably already started putting oil in the Tiki torches.”

  “I’m going to get the ticket. She isn’t driving my Benz. And you know I am not in the mood to be entertaining all those kids. They don’t know when to go home.”

  “That’s because you never say go home,” he added with a chuckle.

  “Shut up.” She said with a smile of defeat.

  “Are you making a dessert?”

  “Nope. Marie Callendars has pies on sale, you need some money to stop and get you one?” She said sarcastically.

  “I’m going to watch television because I don’t like your attitude.” He jokingly said as he headed for the couch.

  “Bye…” she said with a wave of her hand.

  He posted up in front of the TV with “I Love Lucy” on the screen and began to flip through the latest issue of Ebony magazine. It was days like this that he missed. When they were younger he and Lauren would sit in this room, watch movies and talk until there was nothing else to talk about, while their mother cooked up food from heaven in the kitchen. He was glad that Lauren was coming home for a visit. He missed his sister but knew that she had to do what she had to do. When he told her he was gay she

  laughed and said she didn’t care as long as she never saw him kiss a man. He respected her wish and in the five years he has been with Tyrin she has never seen any type of affection between the two of them. She loved Tyrin like her own brother but she said she could only take so much, and they have both honored her request.

  “What are you in here doing?” Vanessa asked breaking his thoughts.

  “Nothing. Chilling, getting some much needed rest.”

  She sat down on the couch and looked at her son. She was happy he came to visit because he was one of her best friends. Her main desire is for her offspring to be happy, even if they choose to live their lives in a fashion that she doesn’t agree with. It isn’t easy for a mother to deal with the fact that her child is living a life against what she believes to be right, and it has been a true test of her faith. People have asked her how she deals with it and she has informed them that it isn’t anything for her to deal with. She raised her children as best she could and their success is a result of that.

  However, deep down inside Vanessa wants grandchildren and has been in continual prayer about the situation. She knows in her heart of hearts that those things that she has prayed for will come to pass but it is a topic that she doesn’t discuss with Khalil. She is open to converse with him about Tyrin and she loves them both dearly but her full acceptance of it all will never be there. God has promised her some things in regards to her children and she is holding fast to those promises.

  As she looks at her son lying on the floor, she knows that the manifestation of her prayer is right around the corner. However, what she doesn�
�t know is how it will all come to pass.

  *****

  Venice Beach, the tourist haven, is infamous for it’s off beat entertainment, muscle men, and blacktop basketball. On this particular Sunday, one of L.A’s hottest radio stations in Los Angeles is holding a “Jammin on the Blacktop” basketball tournament which has drawn a nice sized crowd to the courts for free giveaways and a chance to meet the on-air personalities that fill the airwaves.

  Tyrin and Craig were amongst the many male competitors that were enjoying the ocean breeze and urban flavor that enveloped the atmosphere. Most of the brothers that were in attendance had the mentality that had it not been for bad grades in school they would have been the next Michael Jordan or Magic Johnson, thus causing them to be the most trash talking men you will ever listen to while watching a game of basketball.

  After the games the two of them left the court and began to mingle with a few of the fellas that they knew from around the way, in the process of them joking and clowning with each other a group of fine young ladies made their way into the inner circle that the men occupied. The women tried their best to flirt and feel their way through the men to see which one would bite and after seconds of flaunting the goods that made them true black women all but Tyrin were embraced in conversation with one of them.

  These were the times when he felt left out but played it cool. He stood off in the cut and waited for his cousin to finish setting up his booty call for the evening. Craig peeped him standing solo and opted to exchange numbers with the female instead of wasting time with idle chatter. He already knew she was down to let him fuck and saw no need in making her believe he wanted more than that. The two of them bid each other farewell and the two cousins began to walk along the Venice shopping strip to the SUV.

  “Man did you see her tits?” he exclaimed as he puffed on his Black and Mild cigar.

  “Yep.”

  “And that ass, oh my God, that bitch was like a field full of donkeys.”

  “What?” Tyrin asked, confused by the analogy.

  “Ass for days, motherfucking ass for days. That’s it, I’m fucking her. It may not be tonight, but rest assured she will be getting fucked by me in the very near future.” He said with confidence.

  “Do you have to be so crass?”“Please, if your ass wasn’t so fucked up in the head on that dick shit, you would be saying the same things I’m saying, probably worse.”

  “I doubt that highly.”

  “Don’t you miss pussy?” Craig questioned.

  “I don’t really think about it.” Tyrin answered.

  “I mean pussy is like money, you can never have enough of it. Peep this; I got a question for you. Halle Berry, Janet Jackson, Toni Braxton, Lela Rochon, and sexy ass Nia Long, all walk into a room butt ass naked and say you can have us any way you want us, from the bottom up. Do you mean to tell me that you would turn all that sexiness down? I mean you can’t really be that gay.” Tyrin let out a chuckle and continued to walk, refusing to give energy to the outlandish question by his cousin. “Fool you hear me talking to you.”

  “First of all, the chance of that happening is never, so why waste time on the thought. Second, I’m in a committed relationship, so I would have to tell the ladies to come back when I am single.” He joked.

  “You bullshitting, your ass still like pussy, I can tell, I see it in your eyes. All wet, pink, and juicy; just waiting for a brother like you to run up in it. Khalil know you still like pussy? Want me to tell him for you?” He asked trying to sound sincere.

  “I love my man and no woman can come between us. I don’t care how fine she is.” He confirmed.

  “Yeah, but another man can. I ain’t forgotten that shit.” He chuckled as he took another puff of his cigar.

  Tyrin’s face grew tight with anger. He wished that Craig would leave that moment in the past, but as with most things you try to forget there is always someone there to remind you of your mistakes. “I aint never saw nobody fucking like you and ole boy. You were ramming the hell out of his ass on your desk. Matter of fact that was the only time I ever saw two dudes go at it. That shit was crazy as hell.” Craig began to laugh at the thought of it all, “The funny shit was your face when I walked in on your ass.” He continued.

  “Shut up Craig.” Tyrin said, trying to keep his temper under control.

  “But the part that really tripped me out was how ole boy acted like he didn’t even care that I was in the room. That little motherfucker looked at me like he wanted me to join the fuck in. See that’s that ole freaky deek-deeky type shit, you a freak like that with Khalil?”

  “I said shut the fuck up and I mean that shit.” Tyrin felt himself growing tense enough to swing on his cousin but he knew that it would only cause more problems and fuel the fire in an uneasy situation.

  “And on top of everything, it was Koya’s cousin. That’s why you let him intern for us isn’t it, because dude had no artistic talent whatsoever. You wanted to see how the booty worked didn’t you?” Tyrin balled his hands into a fist and gritted his teeth as he stared at Craig, who at this time was in full hysterics. People make mistakes and that was a big one that he wished had never happened. Temptation is a bitch and once you fall into it the consequences almost always seem to haunt you for life. However, Tyrin was determined to put this behind him and move forward, even if it meant beating the hell out of his own flesh and blood.

  “Come on you can tell me, is Khalil a freak like that? Ya’ll be doing that Adina Howard type shit?” His laughter beginning to calm down to a mild chuckle once he noticed that he had struck a serious nerve with Tyrin.“On the real though, you need to stop acting like you all perfect and shit. So you fuck around, what brother doesn’t? As long as you know where to lay your head at night, I say so the fuck what.”

  “I asked you to never repeat that situation again. You are about five seconds from getting left the fuck here. It happened once, it was a mistake, it has never happened again. I love Khalil, I will always love him and only him. I am trying my best to stay calm because your stupid ass doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up, but I swear, if you say one more thing about this I will…”“You will what? You ain’t gone do shit. And if you want to get down and dirty with me over some shit you did in the past, that doesn’t even concern me might I add, then bring it the fuck on.” Craig confrontationally walked up on Tyrin and continued, “Bitch I ain’t gonna tell nobody about your little extracurricular activities. If you can’t joke about the shit with me, who else can you fucking talk to about it? You sure as hell can’t talk to Koya about how you dicked-down her little cousin, she would flip the fuck out. You fucked another brother while you were with Khalil. I get it, you’re sorry and it will never happen again.” Craig backed up and changed his tone because he knew if Tyrin were going to do something it would have already happened.

  “Anyway, that shit happened over a year ago. On the real though, I know you all sprung and shit, but what I am saying to you is that the shit was funny. I saw my cousin plunging his dick into another brother, just like you used to catch me with all them hoes I had outside of Denise. I loved her ass too, but the truth of the matter is that my dick got hard and I got weak. I didn’t stop loving her but I had to release some tension. The same way you used to joke and call me a Ho is the same way I am joking with you. Now if you want to still get your scrap on with me then we can do the shit right here, but when it is all said and done I will still be your motherfucking cousin and I will still be at work tomorrow morning.” Craig took one final drag off his cigar and dropped it to the ground. “And as far as all that leaving me shit is concerned, I will flatten the tires on that expensive ass Range Rover and we will both be some cab hailing motherfuckers.”

  Tyrin looked around before making eye contact with his cousin that he knew was right. He hated the fact that he did what he did but more than that he didn’t like the feeling of being considered a cheater. He brushed past Craig and continued walking through the crowd of tourists that were enj
oying the performance artists that were living in their five minutes of fame moment. Craig ran and caught up with him and asked if they could stop at Fatburgers on the way home to get a bite to eat.

  SEVEN

  Black gay pride weekend was in full effect and the annual beach party was off to a great start. Tyrin, Khalil, and Spencer arrived at the Malibu location in just enough time to secure a parking spot in the upper lot where the main entrance was; versus having to park at the base of the hill and catch a shuttle bus to the secluded location.

  It was a densely overcast morning, but even at 8am, there was a nice crowd of people already claiming the best spots to settle. Location was everything, because everyone wanted to have a good view of the crowd, as well as the activities of the day. Normally, some celebrity fag-hag would grace the stage and give a performance that would build up enough momentum to encourage those that were undecided, to actually attend the after party.

  They found their spot near the cliffs; teaming up with a few other friends they hadn’t seen in months. They immediately began to set up tents, chairs, lay out blankets and create the little village they would call theirs until the sun was about to set. Being that it was so cold, almost everyone was sporting a sweat suit of some kind, but rest assured that by the time the sun was directly overhead, there would be a drastic change in attire and the true essence of the festival would be present.

  “Did any of you go to the club last night?” Spencer asked the group.

  “Naw, I had to finish closing out a case that has a Monday deadline, and if I wanted to be here today I had to work some serious overtime.” Brian replied.

  “What is this case about, Matlock?” Dennis inquired.

  “This white kid decided to beat up his girlfriend and then trash her car. Her dad has money so they’re able to afford proper legal representation, which means bad news for the white boy. He is facing some serious criminal charges; he actually broke her nose and jaw.”