Vanessa leaned back in her lounge chair and pondered everything that had just been told to her. She looked at Khalil, her first-born child, and like a mother that knew her offspring, she proceeded to repeat to him –in her own way- everything that he had already heard from Spencer. All the fears and insecurities he had were being played back like a recorder, and he could do nothing but sit silent. When she finished, he sat and looked at her in awe and asked how she knew exactly what he was thinking. “Because I know you.” was her response.
“Well, what should I do?”
“Turn one of the guest rooms into a kid’s room and move on.”
“It’s not that simple momma.”
“Yes it is. You make stuff so complicated. Quit worrying before you give yourself an ulcer,” she said as she turned Juanita Bynum back up.
“You sound like Spencer.”
“No. I sound like a voice of reason. Is Tyrin downstairs?”
“Yeah, but don’t tell him I told you.”
“Why?”
“Because he thinks I am okay with all of this and I don’t want him to think that I’m keeping something from him.”
“Y’all need to talk, because this is going to fester if you don’t resolve it. Never leave rocks unturned,” she said.
“Well tomorrow we go to the hospital and find out if he is a match. If he is, then we go forward with the surgery. “
“Good. The sooner the better because his little boy needs a kidney and he needs it quick, so there is really no time to waste.”
“Thanks for all of your help,” he said smugly.
`“No problem. Now go downstairs and spend some time with your sister.”
*****
Kerrion and Andre decided to spend a day together with no worries and no interruptions. Kerrion wanted to get out of the house and play tour guide for Andre who was set to fly back to the bay later that evening. However, Andre threw a wrench in his plan and made him promise they would spend quality time together doing absolutely nothing.The two of them realized that they had more in common than they thought. For breakfast there was no need for the platter size meal most men would love to have placed in front of them. They were both content with an oversized bowl of kid’s cereal and the latest episode of The Rugrats.
They spent most of the morning laughing and sharing their views on characters from the cartoon network, while taking turns at singing the theme songs from their favorite cartoon shows. Once they exhausted themselves on cartoons, they decided to come back to reality. They opted to challenge each other in various games on Play-station before settling down to a game of chess.
“I’ve been thinking.” Andre said as he sat across the dining room table looking at Kerrion, who was busy thinking of his next chess move to make.
“About what?” he asked under his breath as he placed his hand on his knight and used it to remove his opponents bishop.
“About moving to L.A.”
Check.” He looked up at Andre and waited for him to continue.
“I mean the weather down here is beautiful. The bay is always rainy and I am really tired of the high cost of living up there.”
“Hmm, I see.” He said, looking at Andre hoping he wasn’t about to ask to move in with him.
“I mean, I make good money working at the hospital. That, along with my part time job at the record store has allowed me to have a nice little cushion saved up.”
“Are you going to move?” Kerrion asked.
“I just said I wanted to.”
“I was talking about the game.”
“Oh, my bad.” He moved his King out of harm’s way and continued to feel his way through the conversation “I would only move down here under one condition though.”
“What would that be?”
“If you and I were going to try and pursue something.”
“What about your family? Wouldn’t they miss you if you came down here?” He asked, as he moved his queen in for the kill.
“Well at my age, I can’t really be too concerned about what my family has to say about my life. They are living theirs and I think it’s time that I live mine. I’m not getting any younger you know. I’ve actually been waiting for a good enough reason to change locations and I finally think I’ve found one.” Andre said as he blindsided the queen and removed her with his knight.
“Shit, not my queen. Anyway, I just don’t want you to move down here because of me and then if things don’t work out between us you feel like you’ve made a big mistake.”
“Why wouldn’t things work out? We seem to be getting along so far. What could happen that would cause a riff in the water?”
“A lot of things.”
“Like what?”
“Stuff.” Kerrion felt as though his back was being pushed against the wall. He was trying to listen to the voice of Khalil and not push Andre away, but his patience was wearing thin.
“Just say you don’t want me to come and I won’t bring the topic up again.” Andre said calmly.
“It’s not that, so please don’t take it that way.” With his queen gone he really couldn’t find a good move, so he placed what he could in any position, just to oppose the opposition.
“Then what is it? Do you think I am going to be a deadbeat and just get in your way? I honestly had no intention of moving in with you, so I hope you weren’t thinking that. I am used to my own and living with someone is a big step. I was actually going to go on-line and try and find a spot first before I made my final move.” He looked Kerrion directly in the eyes and continued, “Why are your guards so high up? Just when I think I am making progress with you, you seem to shut off.” He rubbed his head in exasperation before he continued. “You know what Kerry, I really wish you would tell me who hurt you, so that I could just go ahead and kill him for you.” He moved his rook to the top of the board and locked in the king.
“There’s no need to kill anybody. Vengeance is not ours. Thanks for the offer though. I just don’t want another bad
relationship. I really don’t think I can handle it,” he softly said, as he moved his king up a square.
“If we communicate with each other and don’t let things build up between us, I see no reason why things would go bad.”
“Andre. You haven’t even told anybody you’re gay. How can you come down here and be with me and live in secrecy? That is one thing that I am not cool with. I don’t feel I need to hide who I care for. I know that I would be asking a lot from you if I asked you to tell everyone about your sexuality, but I would like for at least one of your friends to know who you are down with. If I were from the bay, would you still be so eager to be with me? I doubt it, because I would be too close to home.”
“Would you like me to call right now and tell my mom?” He asked as he moved his queen, “Check.”
“No. That is something you need to decide for yourself. I refuse to make that decision for you. You will hate me for life if you confess to your mom on my behalf and then you decide later in life that this lifestyle is not what you want for yourself.” He tried to hide his king again.
“How do you feel about me?”
“Why?”
“Are you afraid to like me?”
“I wouldn’t say afraid, but I am cautious in regards to matters of my heart.”
“I like you.” He said nonchalantly, as he moved his bishop up towards the king “Check.”
Kerrion looked at the board and racked his brain, searching for something to say in response to the last comment, as well as hunted for a spot to move his king. He wanted to like Andre and he wanted to have the kind of relationship that resembled Khalil and Tyrin. He envied the love that the two of them had for each other and even though he would never wish any ill fate on their relationship, he longed to see some type of major flaw between them.
He was tired of being alone, tired of one-night stands and tired of holding his pillow as he slept. He wanted a partner, a mate, someone he could share the rest of his life with.
He swore he had found that with Jamar but that fell through the cracks and since their breakup he has been hunting high and low for someone to take his place. But like Khalil said, Jamar has moved on and even when they see each other at the clubs they walk by like total strangers, like they had never been in love, or at least like one of them had not been in love with the other.
If he told Andre he liked him, then that would open the door for something to happen. If he told him that they should just stay friends, then that would leave the door open for someone else to come and take him. Why was this so complicated? Test the water and see if it is cold before jumping in. And never dive in head first because you will always go into shock. But at this point what did he have to lose.
“I like you too,” he said as he backed his king up into a corner. “And if you want to move to L.A., I think you should, but for yourself and not because of me. You only go through life once and if you make a mistake then at least you have something to look back and learn from.”
“I’m glad you feel that way.” He moved his queen and blocked the king in, leaving no room for escape, “Check mate.”
He got up from his side of the table, walked over to Kerrion and kneeled in front of him. As he looked up and stared in his nervous eyes, he gently began to rub the side of his face with the palm of his hand. Kerrion rested his face into Andre’s palm, and for the first time since Jamar he allowed himself to be touched in a way that meant more than sex. The touch was endearing, nurturing, compassionate and most of all, loving. He closed his eyes and rested in the caress of this man that seemed to truly care. He gently breathed and then noticed that the hand was being removed.
When he opened his eyes he was face to face with someone that wanted him for more than just the physical. Andre leaned up and placed his pillow like lips gently on the scar that was embedded on his forehead and whispered the words “never again” into theatmosphere. As he grabbed both of Kerrions’ hands, he glided his lips down the side of his face and planted them firmly on his; sealing the words he just spoke.
As their lips touched for the first time, Kerrion felt confirmation that there was more to Andre than just sex, there was sensuality. The parting of their lips gave way to gentle massages that only experienced tongues could give. They gripped hands like they had just found something that had been missing from their lives for a long time. They could feel the difference in how what they were doing at this moment compared to what they had done with others in the past.
Andre released his hands from Kerrion’s grip and wrapped them around his waist. He held him tight, showing him how much he wanted to make him feel safe and secure. Kerrion didn’t resist the way he was being trapped in the arms of this man. He slowly moved his hands up Andre’s muscular back and began to entangle his fingers into the beautiful locks that sprouted from his head. With each passing second, he felt the weight of his past begin to slowly diminish, and it was in this moment that he knew he had made the right decision.
“I need to call my job,” Andre mumbled between tongue inserts. “I’m not going to fly out today. I’ll pay the difference and leave tomorrow.”
“You’re leaving?” Kerrion said as he plunged his tongue deeper into his mouth. “Don’t worry. I will be back,” he mumbled with weakened authority.
“You promise?” he asked.
“I promise.”
TEN
Lauren’s plane was scheduled to leave in three hours. While the family sat in the backyard eating peach cobbler and ice cream, she grew sad at the thought of going back to Berkeley, and work. Khalil had offered to take her to the airport so Vanessa could finish preparing for her meeting.
As the four of them joked about the past, Vanessa brought up the subject of grandchildren in a maneuver to get Tyrin to expose his current situation. Khalil choked on his dessert as his mother began to reiterate how ready she was to have some little ones to spoil. She expressed that she didn’t care if the two men adopted them, or if Lauren got married after college, and pushed a few out.
Khalil knew that this discussion was geared more towards him than Lauren, who was nowhere near finishing school, or getting married. Tyrin glanced at his partner with a suspicious grin, before focusing back on Vanessa. As Vanessa continued to push the topic, Tyrin began to feel as though he were keeping a secret from his own mother. The two of them had their own special relationship that spawned out of the trauma he experienced after being disowned by his aunt after she discovered his sexuality.
“Mom, how bad do you really want grandkids?” Tyrin asked.
“Well, you guys are all grown up and I don’t see any men banging on my door asking me to dinner. I would love to have some kids to spoil.” She answered.
“Momma, all of those fine rich men you decorate for. I am sure that one has shown some interest in you.” Lauren said.
“They have, but none of them are in church, and I am not looking for a romp in the hay. I need a good Christian man. And besides, I don’t have time to go through the dating scene like you do Ms. Lauren.”
“So, what do you plan on doing with these grandchildren? I know you aren’t going to go to Chuckie Cheese’s, or any place like that,” Khalil said as he stared at his mother, shocked by her obvious attempt to pry info out of Tyrin.
“No, of course not. But when I go shopping I always see little things for children, and I would love to be able to buy those things,”
“Well, what about when you don’t feel like being bothered with them? You can’t be a part time Grandmother.” Tyrin added.
“Are you going to wake up with them in the middle of the night to change diapers and feed them, or do you just want to play dress up?” continued Khalil, as he shook his head in defeat.
“Momma, you are too busy getting your nails done and shopping at Neiman Marcus to be worrying about some little rug rats. And the first time one even thinks about walking into your all-white living room, you’ll have a hissy-fit and look for something to beat them with. And I refuse to let you beat any child of mine, because you don’t know when to ease up. You won’t see my kids until they are eighteen.” Lauren expressed as she continued eating her cobbler ala mode.
“Ha ha ha. Somebody just better have some kids and quick. I’m through talking about it. So we can move onto something else.” Vanessa sat back in her lounge chair, satisfied that she had created enough uneasiness within Tyrin that he would open up before the night was over. She saw no need for secrets, especially among family, and wanted him to know that no matter what, they would all be in this child’s life.
Tyrin let out a sigh, looked at Khalil who was trying not to make eye contact with him, and prepared to break the news to Vanessa was. “OK. mom, I have a confession to make.”
“What’s that sweetheart?” she innocently asked, while directly looking at him. He took a deep breath and knew that these next four words could quite possibly change the course of the evening. “I have a son.”
“What!” Lauren shrieked and set her empty crystal bowl on the ground like she was scared of dropping it. “Umm, when did that happen? You cheated on my brother?”
“No stupid. Sit back in the chair and listen.” Khalil said.
“Shut up Lauren. What do you mean Tyrin?” Vanessa asked.
“Well it’s kind of a long story.” He continued.
“My plane doesn’t leave for hours, and we need to get to the bottom of this. Khalil, how long have you known about this?” Lauren questioned while giving her brother the evil eye for keeping a secret from her.
“Why don’t you go in the house and finish packing.” Khalil said.
“Why don’t you explain why you kept a secret like this from us?” She said while maneuvering her pointed finger between Vanessa and herself.
“Lauren, I’m not going to say it again. Be quiet.” Vanessa sternly exclaimed.
“I will cut the story short. A girl I used to date died a few years ago. She gave birth to a little boy, his uncle has been taking care of him,
but now he needs a kidney transplant. So his uncle came looking for his biological father, who would be me, to donate one of my kidneys so he could live. I honestly didn’t know he existed until last week ago.” Tyrin simply said as he shrugged his shoulders.
“Really?” Vanessa asked, scanning Tyrin to see if he was telling the truth about not knowing. “This must really be a shock to you. I mean out of the clear blue, you find out that you have a son.”
“It is. I was on my way to work and this strange dude called me and said he wanted to meet with me about some business. When I met with him, he dropped some photos of this kid on my desk and said he was mine.”
“How do you know he is yours and this isn’t a scam?” Lauren calmly asked.
“For one, the boy looks just like me; and second, I remember his mother was supposed to get an abortion, which she obviously didn’t. So here I am with a seven year old son that is dying and I’m the only one that can save him.”“So when will you know if you’re a match?” Vanessa questioned.
“I go to the doctor tomorrow morning at ten. Oh, Khalil, don’t forget we’re having dinner with Craig and Koya at the house tomorrow. I’m sorry momma, I didn’t mean to cut you off, but I wanted to get my reminder in before I forgot.”
“I didn’t forget. Anyway, he did all of the tests last week and tomorrow is when they will let us him know if he needs to fly back east for the surgery.” Khalil said, trying to sound supportive of all that is taking place.
“The little boy isn’t out here?” Lauren asked.
“No. He’s in Philadelphia. He’s actually too weak to travel back and forth, but after the transplant he will be able to come and go whenever he wants,” Tyrin explained.
“Wow, this is really something. I commend you for stepping to the plate and not disputing that this is your son.” said Lauren.
“I admire your strength Tyrin. I agree with Lauren, most men would have wanted a paternity test first, and then after they found out the child was theirs they would have focused on saving his life.” She reached over and grabbed his hand, “I will be praying for you as you go through this. Adding a child to your life causes a big change to things. Your life is not yours anymore it’s all about them and their happiness. I still haven’t gotten rid of the two I decided to bring into the world.” She looked over at them as they sat next to each other like Lucy and Ethel.
The End of the Rainbow Page 13