by Lara Adrian
“I have my reasons for wanting out, for wanting a new life. As I’m sure you had yours.”
“Have you mentioned this to the other elders?”
“No. They wouldn’t understand.” She gave him a sad smile. “I hoped that you might.”
He raked a hand over his scalp. “I can’t take you out of here—you know that, right? Not without the council being aware first. Not without their permission. If I do, we’ll both be banished.”
It was hard to ignore the small voice in the back of his conscience that wondered if being barred from his people might not be the worst thing that could happen to him.
After all, a life with Brynne might wait for him on the outside. He didn’t know what that kind of life would look like, but part of him hoped for it—wanted it with a desperation that staggered him.
But the thought of turning his back forever on the part of him that was Atlantean wasn’t something he could consider lightly.
“I can’t take you with me, Sia. Not without the colony’s blessing.” He cursed under his breath, considering everything that was currently at stake. “And I sure as hell won’t do it while I’m here trying to win the council’s trust for an alliance with the Order.”
“I’m sorry,” she blurted, looking edgy and uncomfortable now. “Forgive me. You’re right. And I shouldn’t have asked it of you, Zael. Please, don’t tell anyone I did.”
She got up from the sofa. Before he could say another word, she vanished from the room in a brilliant flash of Atlantean light.
“Shit.” Zael stood there for a moment, processing everything she’d said.
It hardly made sense. Not to mention the fact that he’d never seen the strong female look so unsteady. He didn’t know what her true reasons were for wanting to separate from the colony, nor did he expect Tamisia to tell him.
Especially not now.
He could only hope his refusal to help her didn’t jeopardize everything at stake for the alliance.
CHAPTER 30
Brynne stood at the water’s edge on a secluded stretch of beach, watching the crystalline blue waves lap at her bare feet. Neriah had shown her to the small white stucco cottage that would be her quarters while she and Zael were on the island. According to her, Zael had his own cottage farther up on one of the hillsides, the home he kept for those rare visits he made to the colony.
Was that where he’d gone to now? She refused to think he might have gone there with beautiful Tamisia, even though the sting of his abandonment still burned in her breast.
That wounded part of her wanted to reject the idea that she had any stake on him. Zael had lived a long life before he came swaggering into hers. She couldn’t expect him to pretend he hadn’t, or that the people he’d met along the way didn’t still mean something to him.
They did mean something to him. She saw that today. For some reason, she had been deluding herself into thinking Zael was as alone and isolated as she was—that they had that in common somehow. Today she saw that despite all of his wandering, he had a home.
Here, with the colony.
She’d never had anything like that. She didn’t know how to be part of a community, a culture, a family. She had never quite fit—not anywhere. She’d never felt she belonged, not to anyplace or anyone.
Except when she was lying in Zael’s arms.
“This view has never looked better.”
The sound of his deep voice startled her. She spun around to find him strolling down onto the sand, his white linen tunic riffling in the breeze, his eyes as bright and brilliant as the water she’d been admiring a moment ago.
“I trust Neriah got you settled with everything you need.”
Everything I need except you, she thought, her pulse quickening at the sight of him.
She nodded. “I’ll be fine. You didn’t need to check on me.”
His brow furrowed as he approached. “I’m sorry for leaving you the way I did. I was concerned Tamisia might use her jealousy against the alliance if I left her standing there ignored.”
“Of course, I understand. We have to do what’s best for the alliance. After all, that’s the only reason you brought me here.”
“Is that really what you believe?” He reached out, brushing the backs of his fingers against her shoulder.
She deliberately side-stepped a pace, dodging his touch. “Careful. What if someone sees? Remember our arrangement.”
He glanced around at the palm trees and flowering bushes that hemmed the cottage in from three sides. “It’s all right. No one’s here to see us.”
Which was apparently the only reason he felt comfortable showing up.
“Did you and Sia have a nice talk?” Her spite was petulant and childish, but she couldn’t rein back the hurt.
Zael’s frown gave way to surprise, then an aggravating smirk. “You’re jealous.”
She had to bite her tongue to keep from confirming or denying it.
“You think I want her?” Zael moved closer. “You think I could ever want her when I have you?”
Sunlight haloed him, glinting off his copper-shot, golden waves. His handsome face always took her breath away, but especially now, with his sculpted lips curved in a sensual smile and those oceanic blue eyes darkening as his gaze penetrated hers.
He radiated a magnetic heat that permeated straight to her core, making her pulse hammer and her sex clench with desire. He smelled amazing, too, as exotic and lush as the island that surrounded them. The citrusy, clean scent of him was as intoxicating as the breeze rolling off the frothing surf at her back.
“My beautiful, headstrong Brynne,” he said, cupping her face in his palm. “Do you honestly think there is any other woman I want to be with more than you—here on this island or anywhere else?”
She tried to hold on to her anger, but it was difficult with Zael filling her vision, dominating her senses. His hand slid around to the back of her neck, warm and strong against her skin.
“Since you don’t seem to know that, let me tell you. There isn’t.”
“Was there ever?” she whispered, needing to know. “I mean, with Tamisia.”
“No. Not with her. We’ve been together a few times, but it was never something that would’ve lasted.”
He shook his head, but there was a hauntedness in his gaze. A flicker of shame she struggled to understand.
“Not with Tamisia,” Brynne guessed. “But there was someone once. From the colony?”
“No. She was human.”
Brynne swallowed at the unexpected admission. But then maybe it wasn’t so unexpected. “Dylan’s mother?”
“I should’ve told you about her before,” he murmured. “You deserved to know what happened. Why I have a daughter I never knew existed until only a few weeks ago.”
She recalled the few details he had given her about the woman. “You told me you met her while she was on holiday in Greece.”
He nodded. “Mykonos.”
“You also told me she was married. Unhappily, you said.”
“Yes, she was.”
Brynne tried to guess at the cause of his guilt. “Did she go back to her husband?”
“She did.”
His wooden tone conveyed more depth of emotion than if he’d shouted the words. He had loved this woman, and he had lost her. “I’m sorry.”
He expelled a sharp breath. “Don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t deserve it. I’m the one who pushed her back to him. Because of my cowardice.”
Brynne touched his rigid jaw. Although it hurt to see that he’d once loved this woman a great deal, it pained her even more to see the torment in his eyes.
She had given him numerous opportunities to explain what had happened, especially on those times when she’d suggested he was an irresponsible libertine with a possible slew of fatherless daughters around the world.
And yet, he’d preferred that she believe that, rather than share the truth about the woman who’d borne his child.
Brynne dr
ew him down onto the sand with her. They sat together for a long moment, just looking at the waves in silence.
“What was her name?” She prompted him gently, giving him somewhere to start again.
“Sharon.” He stared out at the water. “She was a sweet girl, the most open-hearted woman I’d ever met. Once we ran into each other on that beach in Mykonos, I pursued her relentlessly. Finally, she gave in. It wasn’t until we slept together—when I had the chance to lay my hands on her mortal skin—that I realized she was very ill.”
Brynne glanced at him, confused. “What was wrong with her?”
“Cancer. It was everywhere, small enough to escape detection for many years, yet already terminal. There was no mistaking it.”
“You could feel all of that with your hands?”
He nodded soberly.
“And you didn’t tell her?” Brynne’s heart climbed into her throat. “Oh, Zael…”
“I didn’t tell her because there was nothing that could be done. The cancer would kill her, even if it was treated. There wasn’t going to be a miracle.”
“But you kept the truth from her.”
“Yes. Because I didn’t want to see her spirit crushed. I didn’t want to be the one to crush it.” He tipped his head back, silent for a long moment. When he looked at Brynne now, she saw the full depth of his self-hatred. “I didn’t want to be with her, knowing I was holding that secret. So I left. I didn’t tell her I was going. I didn’t tell her anything. I just…left.”
Brynne didn’t say anything. She knew he didn’t want sympathy, but she felt it for him anyway. It had been many years since he met Dylan’s mother, but he still carried the pain. And the guilt.
“You want to know the ironic thing?”
She gave him a wobbly nod, still trying to process everything she’d heard so far.
“In the end, it wasn’t the cancer that killed Sharon. Dylan told me that just a few days ago.” He turned a stark look on Brynne. “It was Dragos who killed her.”
“How?”
“Sharon was dying from the disease, but during that same time Dylan and her warrior mate, Rio, were just getting to know each other. It’s a long story, but Sharon became entangled in some of Dragos’s schemes and when he attempted to use her to get close enough to hurt Dylan, Sharon sacrificed herself to save her daughter. My daughter.”
“Oh, my God.” Brynne blew out a heavy sigh, her heart breaking for Zael and for Dylan. And for the special woman who had meant a great deal to both of them. “I’m so sorry.”
“Now you know,” he said, his deep voice solemn, yet still burdened. “I’m not a good man, Brynne. I’ve taken my pleasure wherever I’ve wanted, with little thought for the consequences. What I’ve never taken well is responsibility. I’ve never been steady or reliable. I’ve never been committed to anything but myself. You need to know that. You needed to know it a lot sooner than now.”
“No, Zael. You’re wrong.” She combed her fingers through his hair as he stared out at the horizon, her eyes tender on the tormented, beautiful face of the man she had somehow come to care for so deeply. “That’s not what I see in you at all. It’s not what I saw here at the colony today. It’s not what I saw in you with the Order.” She put her fingers beneath his chin to bring his troubled gaze to hers. “It’s not what I see when you’re with me.”
He cupped her face in his palm, his thumb lightly stroking her lips. “After Sharon, I never allowed myself to feel that deeply again. I didn’t let myself feel love because I never wanted to feel pain or loss. But with you… Everything changed when I saw you, Brynne.”
She wanted to believe him, but there was a part of her that was still afraid. Still certain the day would come when he rejected what she really was inside—or when he would regret that he hadn’t rejected her.
“I’ve been alone all my life, Zael. It’s where I feel safe.” She turned her face into the cradle of his palm. “But you were right when you said I was lonely. I never realized how empty my life was. I didn’t realize it could be any different. But now…”
“Now, what?”
She took a breath, needing to say the words before she let herself fall any deeper. “I’m afraid that I’ll wake up one day and my life will be empty again. I’m afraid of what I am—what Dragos made me—and I’m afraid of what I may still become.”
“None of that scares me.” Zael’s touch was tender as he reached out to trace the faint pattern of a glyph that was awakening on her chest. When he glanced to her eyes, his gaze was resolute. “We’ll get through it together. My light helped you through the worst of it once; it can do it again.”
She laughed sadly. “For how long, Zael?”
“As long as you want me.”
“What if that’s forever?”
The question fell from her lips before she could stop it.
He didn’t say anything for a moment, and she closed her eyes, praying the beach beneath her would open up and drag her down.
But then Zael’s lips were brushing against hers. She melted into him on a moan, her fangs tingling in her gums. His tongue teased the seam of her mouth, then slipped inside on her hushed sigh.
He moved over her, pressing her down onto the sand as his hungered kiss devoured all of her doubts and fears.
CHAPTER 31
He didn’t want to let go of her.
She felt too good, her soft body moving beneath him on the sand, holding him close as their mouths joined in a desperate tangling of lips and tongues and panting, fevered breaths. Although this stretch of the beach was secluded, kissing her like this was going to get out of hand quickly.
Hell, who was he kidding?
What he shared with Brynne had been out of his control from the start. He meant it when he said it didn’t matter that she was Breed or something darker. He craved her, cared for her. Felt more deeply for her than he ever had for another person in his life.
Holy fuck.
As the understanding settled on him, he drew back on a low growl and stared down into her beautiful, transformed face.
He was in love with her.
He wasn’t going to deny it anymore. Not to himself, at least. He couldn’t. Not the way his chest throbbed simply to be near her, to be touching her. To know that she was his.
After how she had looked at him here today—after all of the tender things she’d said—there was a part of him that believed she might love him too.
Forever, she’d said.
His heart had answered without hesitation.
Yes. Forever.
But the words stayed jammed in his throat. They were still there now, along with all of the promises he couldn’t make her until he was certain the target Selene had put on his back wouldn’t someday land on Brynne’s as well.
And the idea that his people and hers might one day be at war if Selene had anything to say about it?
That was a prospect he refused to consider, especially when Brynne was wrapped around him so deliciously, her hands tunneling into his hair to drag him down for another searing kiss.
He gave her what she demanded, then broke away on a hungered growl. “Give me your hand, love. I’m taking you to bed.”
Her eyes flashing with amber light, she smiled and placed her fingers in his palm. Zael hauled her up from the sand with him, unable to resist another kiss as he dragged her up against his rigid length. Her hand found his erection, but it was only a wicked tease before she danced out of his embrace and started jogging back toward the cottage.
Zael met her inside, flashing there in less than an instant.
She yelped as he caught her, caging her in his arms. “Cheat!”
“Never,” he swore solemnly, then lowered his head to kiss her again.
He didn’t need to feel the scrape of her fangs across his tongue or feel the heat of her amber irises radiating from behind her closed lids to know that she wanted him inside her as badly as he needed to be there. The sweet scent of her arousal jacked his pulse
into a fevered tempo that made his cock surge heavy and rigid against her hip.
She arched into him as his mouth licked a trail from below her ear to the sensual curve of her neck and shoulder. He nipped at her tender skin, spurred on by her raspy cries of pleasure as his lips and tongue savored her heated response.
They undressed each other quickly, their need too urgent for patience.
Zael backed her toward the bed, his mouth still roaming her soft, naked skin and supple lips. She was panting and pliant in his arms, her curves crushed against the hard slabs of his body as he guided her over to the mattress and eased her down beneath him.
She spread her legs to receive him, her sex glistening and ready for him, so pink and pretty and perfect. He sank between her thighs on a low groan, wanting to savor every sensation yet knowing he was too far gone to be gentle.
His cock nestled into the hot, wet cleft of her body. His groan was ragged, his curse reverent, as he pushed inside and felt her tight walls stretch to accommodate his size. Brynne sighed as he drove deep, all the way to the hilt. Her spine arched up to meet his thrust, her small cry of pleasure gusting against his ear as he dropped his head and began a firm and steady rhythm.
Her ecstasy was a drug to him as he rocked in and out of her. He watched it play across her features, which were now fully, gloriously Breed. Amber light swallowed all the green of her irises as she stared up at him, her pupils narrow slivers amid all of that smoldering fire. With each blissful moan, every escalating sigh, the tips of her fangs surged longer, diamond-sharp and deadly, erotic as hell.
Bracing himself on one elbow while he rolled his hips into hers, he reached out to caress her transformed face. Only his touch was gentle, his need too urgent as he watched her cheeks flush with rising color and her mouth dropped open on a sigh of imminent release.
“Oh,” she moaned thickly, clutching him as a hard shudder washed over her. “Zael… Oh, God… I can’t hold it back.”
“That’s good,” he murmured, almost beyond the capability of words as the sheath of her sex began to tighten and contract around his cock. “Oh, yeah. That’s it, love. Let it go. Never hold back with me.”