“If it makes you feel any better, it was probably one of the worst nights of my life.”
Harper relented for a moment. “Explain.”
“Well, it was…sloppy. And afterwards…oh God.”
“What?”
Kiley closed the hardcover book and put it back in its rightful place. “He spent the rest of the night throwing up in my bathroom.”
Harper tried to suppress her laughter, but was failing miserably.
“That’s fine. Go ahead and laugh. I had it coming.”
“Maybe.” Harper managed to regain her composure and continue her unnecessary task of making sure the books lined up properly. It was the only thing she could think of doing right now that would make her look somewhat busy.
“So what happened to you that night? Obviously you got home safe.”
“Nice of you to worry.”
“Hey, you’re the one with the killer right hook. Any guy would be a fool to try something with you if you said no.”
Harper could feel her stomach drop thinking about having to tell Kiley what happened, mainly because she didn’t feel like an interrogation. But she knew somehow Kiley would figure it out, even if she didn’t say anything. There was no point in stalling the inevitable.
“I slept with him.”
Kiley took a step back. She didn’t know for a fact, but she was pretty sure her jaw had significantly dropped and her mouth was now open and was easily giving away the sense of shock she wanted to try so desperately to hide. She examined Harper’s demeanor, her face, the way she was standing, the position of her arms and how her fingernails on her left hand were nervously scratching the top of her right. The silence was becoming increasingly more palpable, but Kiley literally felt like someone had come out of nowhere and punched her in the face. No warning, no apologies, and no mercy. She wanted to speak, but had no idea what to say.
Harper couldn’t handle it anymore.
“Is your delayed response due to the immense amount of judging going on in your head?”
Kiley flinched. She knew she was being spoken to. Something about judging. “I…uh…”
“Seriously, say something.”
“You…you slept with him? Are you fucking serious?”
Obviously hurt, Harper retreated back to the books she was organizing. “Okay, I’d rather you had said nothing.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I just…I really wasn’t expecting that.”
“So now I’m being reprimanded?”
“No. I was just caught off guard.”
“So you’re allowed to sleep with whoever you want, but God forbid I –”
“I’m sorry! It’s not like that, really. I’m happy for you. I mean, I think I am. It was good right? I mean, how was it?”
Harper shrugged. “I think I may have scared him off. We were really drunk.”
“How did you scare him off?”
“I may or may not have had a mini-meltdown the next morning.”
“Oh.” Once again, Kiley was rendered nearly speechless. “I really shouldn’t have left you like that. I’m so sorry.”
Harper shrugged it off.
“So, how did it happen?”
Harper didn’t really feel like rehashing the gritty, and sometimes embarrassing details of that ordeal. “Look, I should really get back to work.”
If it was even possible, Kiley felt worse than she did before. She tried one last time to lighten the situation. “Hey, I shared my ‘vomiting in the bathroom’ story. You could at least tell me about your night of drunken debauchery.”
Before Harper could answer, her boss suddenly appeared from around the corner and interrupted them.
“Harper, there you are. There’s a backup at the register. I need you to help ring people up.”
“Okay, I’ll be right there.” Harper turned to look back at Kiley.
“Okay. Well, we’ll talk later then,” said Kiley, as she handed the bag of donuts to Harper. “Enjoy.”
Harper watched as a defeated Kiley walked way. She opened the bag and inhaled the sweet scent of her favorite indulgence and instantly felt guilty about treating Kiley so badly. The problem was, Harper really didn’t know what to say to her friend. Yes, she was disappointed in Kiley’s decision to ditch her, but she also understood that that’s just who she was. She was someone who always lived in the moment and never really gave much thought to the future or the potential consequences of her actions. Harper, on the other hand, was the polar opposite. And that was her cross to bear. She didn’t expect Kiley to understand her way of thinking and her need to make sure that everyone around her is happy and taken care of, even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness. Though seemingly selfless, Harper was not without her faults. She was racked with self-doubt with an ultra-low confidence level. Needing some form of comfort, Harper reached into the bag and pulled out one of the donuts, wanting nothing more than to consume it right now.
“Harper! Are you coming?”
Hearing her boss’s urgency, Harper reluctantly dropped the donut back in the bag and headed over to the registers. Only two more hours until her break. She was counting the minutes.
CHAPTER 12
Emily’s body looked as though it was being swallowed whole as she dug around the bottom cupboard in Finn’s kitchen looking for a colander. Once she found what she was looking for, she crawled out of the cupboard, managing to inadvertently take a few pots and pans with her.
“Sssshhhhhh.”
She immediately felt stupid and had no idea why she was shushing the pots and pans for making noise as they fell to the floor. No one else was home. Finn was still at work. Emily thought it would be a nice gesture to make dinner for him since he was being so understanding about letting her stay with him. She used the money he left for food and went to the store to buy stuff for the only thing she knew how to make. Or, at least she thought she did. Spaghetti was supposed to be an easy meal. She thought there’d be nothing to it. So why was it taking her so long? And why was the kitchen suddenly much messier than it was before? Perhaps she didn’t think this through, but Emily was confident and decided to forge on.
While she waited for the noodles to cook, she started chopping up the lettuce for salad, but stopped when she heard something bubbling.
“Oh crap.”
The heat for the sauce was up too high and an explosion of sauce was bubbling all over the stove, covering it in a crimson hue. She turned off the heat and began wiping down that area of the stove with a paper towel. As she was cleaning the stovetop, the fire underneath the pot carrying the spaghetti started flashing and flickering. The water was boiling over, creating a hissing sound. Emily went to turn down the heat when some of the water splashed onto her hand.
“Ouch! Son of a bitch! Ow!”
She began hopping around the kitchen almost in tears, covering her hand with a dishrag. She was able to calm herself down and finish making the dinner she was preparing for Finn. She managed to strain the noodles without incident and tried her best to stay away from the possessed stove for the rest of the evening.
Emily scooped the spaghetti onto two plates and covered it with the sauce she heated up all by herself with her own two hands. After setting the table and mixing the salad into a bowl, all she wanted was a nap. She couldn’t fathom how her mother managed to make dinner for them almost every night. She proudly observed her work of art and realized she was missing the most important ingredient. What kind of spaghetti would this be without parmesan? Emily scoured the refrigerator, which didn’t take long with the five full items lurking in there. Unable to reach the top pantry, she grabbed a chair, stood up on it and rummaged through it.
Obviously frazzled by making this stressful meal, Emily’s inner klutz once again reared its ugly head and she tipped over a ketchup bottle and knocked some canned soup to the ground. The sound of the cans falling drowned out the sound of Finn’s keys jingling in the door,
the door opening and then subsequently closing.
Finn stood there watching Emily for a moment, trying to figure out exactly what it was she was trying to do.
“Shit.” Emily climbed down off the chair and began gathering up the rogue soup cans and put them on the counter, not wanting to climb the chair again.
Unfortunately, she forgot the salad was still on the counter and bumped into the bowl while turning around. Her breath stopped as she watched the leaves of lettuce fall to the ground in what seemed like slow motion.
“You’ve got to be KIDDING me!”
Finn decided it was time to finally make his presence known. “Yes, the lettuce wants nothing more than to kid with you. That’s its sole purpose in life. Silly, tricky lettuce.”
Emily jumped at Finn’s voice, unaware that she had gained an audience.
“How long have you been there?”
“Long enough to see you destroy my kitchen.”
Emily looked at him sheepishly. “I made dinner.”
“I see. Well, I hope you don’t expect me to eat the salad.”
“I can wash it.”
“That’s really okay.”
Emily gathered up the lettuce and put it back into the bowl. “Clumsiness runs in my family.”
“Oh, I know…Harper had it in spades.”
“New toys never stood a chance with us when we were kids,” replied Emily as she threw the lettuce into the trashcan.
Finn took off his jacket and dropped the keys onto the counter. “Well, this is really nice of you. You didn’t drop the spaghetti on the floor did you?”
“Oh come on. Be nice. This entire ordeal had me give a whole new meaning to ‘slaving over a hot stove.’”
Finn sat down at the table, which he’d never actually used for eating before and began inhaling the pasta. He was halfway done by the time Emily sat down and started eating.
“Hungry much?”
“I’m meeting Seth in an hour.”
“Call of Duty?”
“Actually, basketball. I decided to start playing again. Besides, I hear fresh air is good for you.”
“It’s overrated,” replied Emily as she picked at her food.
Finn was making some serious headway on cleaning his plate. He wasn’t overly hungry, but found eating as an easy excuse for stalling. He knew it was time to have a serious talk with Emily, but had no idea how to start it. She had already been staying with him for three weeks and nothing about the situation has changed. Emily had made no mention of Harper or shown any interest in seeing or speaking to her. She was nice enough to do her part by keeping the place clean, but hadn’t shown any initiative in finding a job or even finding another place to stay. Finn was beginning to feel like she was taking advantage of his hospitality and he didn’t feel like packing his bags when she would inevitably take him on another guilt trip. He looked down and saw that the food on his plate had been depleted which meant that there was no more stalling. It was time.
“So…”
“I know,” Emily interrupted.
“You know what?”
“I know what you’re about to ask me.”
“What was I going to ask you?”
“Do I have any intention of evacuating your apartment anytime soon? Have I even been trying to get a job? Is there the slightest chance I’m going to let Harper know I’m back in town?”
Finn nodded. “That pretty much sums it up. So…”
Emily sighed. “Eventually, yes, and I’m still not ready.”
Finn started tapping his fork onto the paper plate. “Emily, I don’t know how much longer you expect to carry on like this. Sleeping on a couch? Staying home all day? Being thirteen miles away from your sister who’s been searching for you for years and not even letting her know you’re here and that you’re okay?”
Ever since Emily returned to Los Angeles, a faint lump began to form inside her throat. With each passing day, that lump had grown bigger and bigger. And now, with the mere mention of how much she was hurting her sister, she didn’t think she could hold that lump back any longer. Before she allowed a single tear to fall, Emily swallowed hard and looked at her watch.
“You’re going to be late. You don’t want to keep Seth waiting.”
Finn heard the crack in Emily’s voice and decided not to press the subject any further. He was able to scratch the surface at least, and was slowly making progress with her.
“I’m always waiting on him. He can wait for once.” He got up and threw his plate away. “Thanks for dinner. It was really good.”
“No problem.” Emily tried to choke down another bite.
“I’m gonna jump in the shower.” Finn paused before he reached the hallway, and looked back at Emily. “Just think about what I said, okay?”
Emily nodded. “I have been.”
Finn disappeared down the hallway to take his shower. Emily was left alone at the table picking at her food. Her formerly gargantuan sized appetite had now dwindled down to nothing after Finn brought up the subject of her sister. She put her fork down and pushed away her half-eaten plate.
***
“What is Denpasar?”
Harper smiled to herself when she heard the same response repeated on her television. As she relished in her victory of her knowledge of Bali, Alex Trebek read the next answer in a new category: Films of 1964.
“What is ‘A Hard Day’s Night’?” answered Harper. As she heard one of the contestants give the same answer and Alex say ‘correct’, Harper felt like patting herself on the back. Her mini-celebration was short-lived, however, when she came to a sad realization. Knowing the answers on Jeopardy wasn’t as fun when there was no one there to high five about her vast intelligence. She quickly lost interest in the game show and dejectedly turned off the TV. She sat on her couch, sulking for a while. The sun had set and her living room was growing darker by the minute, but she wasn’t in the mood to get up and turn any lights on. Loneliness was beginning to sink in. Since she’d been avoiding Kiley’s phone calls and Finn was no longer around, Harper found it difficult to fill her days when she wasn’t at work. The days seemed to drag even more for her since she couldn’t even sleep away her boredom. It’s not that Harper was unpopular. Quite the contrary, actually. She used to have a lot of friends, but somehow or another, she began losing touch with them one by one. Finn happened, college graduation happened, life happened, reality happened. And now Harper found herself alone on her couch. Three years ago, she never thought she’d find herself in this situation.
There’s gotta be something I can do, she thought. The poor girl was going stir crazy thinking of who she could call or what she could do to pass the time. Kiley was the first person she thought of, but that obviously wasn’t going to happen. And she really didn’t have any reason to see Finn right now. Staring ahead at the blank wall above the TV set, Harper felt lost and a little helpless. Then, the blank wall gave her an idea. Pictures! She could finally hang the pictures that have been stored in Emily’s old room for the last year. Hanging pictures required nails, which she had. However, it also required a hammer, which Finn seemed to have conveniently taken with him when he moved into his new apartment. Well, that’s it, then. It left Harper no choice. She needed that hammer. She needed to hang those pictures. She needed it for her own sanity. And she was completely full of crap. She knew her brain was just trying to come up with an excuse to see him in order to quell her extreme solitude. But she didn’t care. At this point, she was desperate enough to call up Greg, but figured Finn would be a safer, less awkward choice…if that was possible.
Harper got up, ran to her desk in her bedroom and grabbed the spare key Finn gave her just in case she ever needed anything from his new place. Finn’s initial hope was that she would use it to surprise him in the middle of the night if she ever felt lonely or was away from him long enough to realize she wanted to get back together with him. Sadly, that never happened and at
this point, Finn had pretty much forgotten he had given it to her. Harper thought about calling him to see if he could bring the hammer over, but she felt guilty about always relying on him to do everything. So she put on a sweater, grabbed her keys and walked out the door, anxiously wondering if he would even be home right now.
***
Finn paced back and forth on the grass as Harper sat on the steps leading to her back yard. Finn’s incessant pacing was becoming unnerving for her. She glanced over at the rundown playhouse she and Emily shared as kids. Tucked away in the back corner, it was practically dilapidated at this point, but Harper couldn’t bear to get rid of it. Too many memories rested inside the walls of that playhouse. Memories she didn’t want to lose in case she never saw her sister again. She pulled her focus back to Finn, who had finally come to a standstill.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am.”
“Baby, please. Please don’t do this. You’re just freaking out.”
“Yeah, I am. Shouldn’t that be a sign?”
“It happens to everybody. Hell, I’ve freaked out from time to time. It’s normal.”
“I know it’s normal.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
Harper started massaging her head with her hands. “Because I have to.”
Finn wasn’t happy with that answer. His legs began to tense up and his body started oscillating back and forth once again. “What do you want me to do? I’ll do anything. Just tell me what I need to do to fix this.”
“Nothing. There’s nothing to fix…except for me.”
Finn paused and looked over at his potentially soon-to-be ex-fiancée. “You think you’re broken?”
Harper shrugged. “Something’s just not right. I mean, look at you. You’re perfect. You’re sweet and loving and…”
“Stop. I don’t wanna hear it.”
“Well, how can I NOT be broken? You’re pretty much perfect!”
A Fine Mess Page 11