by Dean Murray
It was wrong for me to be so excited about what came next. It was a means to an end. Everything she'd just suffered through just made it more imperative I get her away to safety. I had to show her just how much there still was to live for.
"Still, I'd like to make it up to you. I suppose dancing is out, but I think I've got something that'll do just about as well."
I bent down to pick Adri up, only to find Jasmin staring at me from just outside the room as I stood up. Still clad in the dark dress she'd worn to the dance, Jasmin looked tired, but there was no waver in her gaze.
She was shielded from Adri's view, and she sub vocalized, creating an odd sense of privacy as I shifted Adri around in my arms.
"Don't send her away, Alec. You need each other."
Jasmin disappeared as I turned and headed out to the garden, moving with a speed that I told myself had nothing to do with an effort to run from Jasmin's words.
It took only a brief time to arrive at the grotto, and find that Donovan had indeed outdone himself.
The lack of moon meant the only illumination was the floating lamps. There were almost forty of them, nearly motionless in the petal-filled pool. I'd torn the petals from dozens of roses in order to coat the surface of the water, and the purple edging around the white somehow lent the scene increased beauty beyond even what I'd expected.
The scent of the potted roses with which we'd filled the space between the stone walls had been divine all by itself, but once it mixed with Adri's natural scent it became something beyond description.
Adri's voice quavered slightly as she took in the results of our labor.
"Lagrimas."
I found my own voice less then normally clear as I responded.
"Nothing else would be appropriate. Not for you, not tonight."
I looked at the waiting easel; its black, velvet covering held safely away from the paint despite the cool, breeze tugging at the fabric. I circled the grotto, listening to Adri's breathing and the quiet crash of the waterfall, and then found myself deviating from the script I'd spent hours agonizing over.
I shifted Adri around into one arm as I reached up to the velvet covering.
"There's something I'd like you to have. Something I hope will help you remember what you mean to me..."
They were the wrong words. Not the ones designed to remind her of her mortality, of other magical nights to come, but rather the truth. I carefully pulled the cloth away and then turned on the lights arranged around the border of the piece.
Adri's breath caught as she took in my efforts. I'd perfectly captured the grotto, the same one we stood in now. In the picture the moon's brilliance flooded down to meet with the soft glow of the greenery on the rock walls.
What I hadn't done justice to was Adri herself. She was the focal point, reaching out from the center of the painting with the compassion and acceptance I remembered, but the Adri I'd painted was a mere shadow of the beauty in my arms.
"She's beautiful. It's how I always imagined an angel would appear."
Something about her words told me she didn't understand, that she'd somehow failed to understand the identity of my subject.
"It's you, Adri. Of course it's beautiful."
It made absolutely no sense, but for the briefest moment it seemed as though she was going to argue with me. I watched her expression shift through a range of emotions I couldn't even begin to interpret, and then she turned back towards me with the barest hint of tears in her eyes.
"It's so beautiful. I don't know what to say. Are you sure you want to give it up?"
It was the last opportunity I was going to get. I tried to revert back to my script, tried to ignore Jasmin's words, still echoing inside my mind, but found myself unable to.
My need for Adri had somehow become something beyond conscious control. I could no more send her away than I could have stopped my lungs from drawing breath. In the short term I could override survival-level instincts, but in the long term they were always going to win out.
The emotions written plainly on my face despite my best efforts to conceal them caused amazement to flood Adri's face. She opened her mouth to say something, but I found myself lifting her chin as my lips hesitantly approached hers.
A sense of rightness washed over me as we kissed. My senses seemed to mix and intensify as she responded, clinging to me with all of her strength. I seemed to be tasting moonlight as her pulse sped up to dangerous levels.
I wanted to lengthen the gesture, to push her heart to even higher efforts as mine raced to do the same, but as it started skipping beats I came back to myself enough to pull away from her.
She'd tamed me utterly and effortlessly, and I wanted nothing so much as I wanted to kiss her again and again, but a tiny, vocal part of me knew I'd just committed a terrible deed.
Adri had only just barely regained her breath before she was pulling at me, seeking another kiss. Physically it was a small matter to hold her away, but it took nearly all of my will power not to let her succeed.
I buried my face in her hair, wallowing in the scent of Adri and Lagrimas, and then finally found the ability to speak again.
"I'd like to, I truly would, but I don't think that would be fair to you. Even letting that happen was a mistake. I've never come so close to losing control."
The words came out without conscious thought, but they were truer than she could possibly know. I'd spent years learning how to control my beast, but somehow a simple touch from her almost cracked the corresponding control I'd created over the human pieces inside me.
Adri shook her head, looking somehow even more beautiful in her contentment than ever before.
"I don't think it was a mistake. I want to kiss you again, but I'll behave."
"You like the painting then?"
She nodded emphatically, but the motion was interrupted by a shiver and I suddenly realized how much the night air had cooled. She was probably in shock from the injury; the last thing I should be doing was letting her freeze to death.
"I'm sorry. I forget sometimes how much easier it is for you and Rachel to catch a chill. Let's get you inside where it's a bit more temperate."
She wanted to stay, tried to argue with me, but I deftly shifted her into one arm and then picked up the completed canvas with the other.
I carried Adri into the house, and then tried to convince her to fall asleep, but she refused. I let her pull me down onto the bed next to her, and then nearly sprung back up when she told me that she was going to come to the challenge with the rest of us.
The thought of exposing her to that level of danger brought my beast roaring back to the fore. Adri looked at my near complete lack of expression and cocked her head at me.
"You weren't planning on bringing me, were you?"
"It's not safe, Adri. I don't want to leave you anymore than you want to be left, but it's the only option."
She fisted her hands as she shook her head.
"No it's not, just bring me along."
It was the wrong thing for her to be doing. Not only was she defying me, her body language was too aggressive. No dominant could let defiance become the general rule, it was against our fundamental wiring. I felt my fists ball up in response, but fought to keep my composure.
"You heard Mallory. The odds are very good that I'm not coming back. If the worst happens, the rest of the pack may very well have to try and fight their way out of there. They won't be able to get you out, they'll be lucky to survive even fleeing unencumbered. I can't ask them to run that gauntlet carrying you the whole way."
Adri unclenched one hand, slowly raising it up to my face where she could touch my cheek with just the lightest of sensations. It was like she was writing on me with fire.
"Then don't ask them. You'll either win, in which case it doesn't matter whether I'm there or not, or else I don't care what happens."
The thought of leaving her alone, completely at the mercy of the likes of Brandon and Vincent bothered me on more leve
ls than just the territoriality of my beast, but that was the side of me that currently was driving the fine tremble of a near transformation.
"Don't be ridiculous, Adri. You should know at least a little by now what they're capable of. I can't let you expose yourself to the kinds of things Vincent or Brandon would...it's out of the question."
She looked up at me with eyes that showed absolutely no fear despite how close I was to losing control of the monster inside me.
"Alec, I need to be there with you tonight. If you leave me here, I'll head out on my own and look for you."
"I'll order Donovan to keep you here."
My voice had deepened as the barest beginnings of the change crept past my barriers.
"You can try. He may even do it, but I don't think so. He's far too much the gentleman to keep a lady captive against her will. Even if he does, do you really think he can watch over me every second?"
A sudden picture of Adri, broken and motionless while Brandon loomed over her was too much and I felt my hands shift in a flash of heat and power. The semi retractable claws that could mark steel tore into the foam and springs of the mattress as I threw all my will at stopping the change from going any further. She didn't even flinch at the sudden dismemberment of sections of the bed. Her eyes hadn't changed, they were still stubborn, still trusting and by far the most beautiful things I'd ever seen.
"You're not going to scare me off with cheap tricks. This is important."
She would have been a fierce shape shifter. I felt myself shake slightly as a powerful cocktail of emotions roared through me, but in the end I could no more force her than I could have forced Jasmin or Rachel.
She was volunteering for a death sentence, but it was her choice, and at least it would give us a few more minutes together than we'd have otherwise.
"All right. You can come. I don't like it. Don't like knowing you're guaranteed not to survive my passing, but it's your choice."
She smiled at my agreement, and then drew back as if she wasn't quite sure she could believe me.
"Not that I'm complaining mind you, but why the sudden change?"
I found myself half-smiling. At least she couldn't read me enough yet to realize I was no longer capable of lying to her, no longer capable of denying her anything she really wanted.
"My death is nearly certain, but there's always a chance I'll somehow survive. As unlikely as that is, I don't want to survive and then find I've poisoned you against me. I won't stop you."
I'd been unconsciously listening to the sounds throughout the house as we'd been talking. The white noise generator in the suite shared by Andrew, Jess and Isaac was on. I'd heard James and Dom leave while we were still outside. It was surprising just how quiet things had become with two-thirds of the pack gone or behind privacy generators.
Adri reached over and took my hand. The movement was absentminded, as if she wasn't really thinking about what she was doing, but I should still have withdrawn my hand. I didn't, and when she spoke it was hard to tell whether she was talking about my having given her permission to accompany us, or whether it was because of the contact.
"Thank you."
"You must have driven your parents crazy with that refusal to back down."
She brightened up, something all the more incredible given that I'd just said parents.
"I suppose I might have frustrated them a time or two."
"And to think Rachel says I'm stubborn."
I almost returned her smile, but the sound of a familiar pair of feet exiting the house almost pulled me up out of bed. A second later Jasmin's Mercedes started up and squealed out of the garage.
Adri looked up, suddenly concerned.
"What's the matter? What do you hear?"
"Jasmin just left."
"What's wrong with that?"
"It's not safe for her to leave the estate. Brandon's pack could be waiting for her."
I went to roll to my feet, but Adri held onto me with all of her strength. She couldn't have physically restrained me, but I stopped regardless.
"Alec, she'll probably be ok. I know it isn't the best idea but please don't stop her. Not tonight."
It was suddenly clear, and I wondered that I hadn't realized what was happening sooner. James and Dom had each other, Isaac and Jess were together, and now, however briefly, I'd found Adri. I didn't have the first clue who Jas might have her heart set on. It seemed impossible that whoever it was hadn't swept her up already, but it must not have been reciprocated or the whole school would already be abuzz with the news.
I felt my heart ache at the thought of proud Jasmin standing in the darkness, utterly alone as the lights throughout the town slowly went out.
Adri watched me put the pieces together and held on even more tightly.
"Please don't let on that you know. I wasn't supposed to say anything. I just couldn't let you go after her."
I smiled down at Adri, and if my smile was a little bittersweet it held more joy than the situation really merited. So much hurt in so few people. Jasmin hauntingly alone, Adri with the scars of loss that I couldn't really understand. My own poor sister.
Adri seemed to read my mind, "What about Rachel, Alec? Where is she? She doesn't have anyone either."
"You're right, but she's still suffering from a deeper hurt. She's with my mother."
It wasn't my secret to tell, but Adri wouldn't use it to hurt Rach. Of that I was certain, and in a way this would allow someone to share just the tiniest sliver of what Rach was going through.
"No, mother isn't going through a good episode. She's asleep. Rachel crept into her room and crawled into bed with her. It's a poor substitute for what she aches for, but it's all mother can offer right now."
"Alec, there must be something we can do."
She released me and started gesturing wildly as her concern overcame everything else. I recaptured her hands and shook my head.
"Not right now. Rachel cherishes her few remaining illusions. One of the most important is the pretense that nobody knows just how hard it is sometimes for her to be the only human in a house full of shape shifters."
She was trembling now. All the pain she carried inside and it was Rachel's that nearly reduced her to tears. I brushed one hand across her lips.
"You've been a godsend for her Adri. As badly as it hurts each time she sneaks away, it hasn't happened nearly as often since you got here. She's been improving ever since you moved into town, and the rate of change has increased over the last two weeks."
She'd calmed slightly, but I could feel the hurt rising up out of her battered heart.
"I suppose we make quite the pair, her and I. Two shattered little dolls trying our best to make sure the pieces don't blow away and leave us with nothing. An imposition to everyone around us."
I pulled her in tight, thinking only of comforting her.
"Not an imposition. Never that."
She nuzzled the hollow of my throat and then moving with human slowness that was still somehow too fast for me to stop, reached up and kissed me. It was the first kiss magnified a dozen times over, and it wakened my beast with a tingle of power.
For the first time I could remember, my beast and I wanted exactly the same thing. I desperately wished there was some way I could stay with her forever.
It seemed like we stood glued together for hours, maybe even days. When we finally parted it wasn't because I was satiated, but because it was the right thing to do, the only thing that promised even the slightest chance of me maintaining my control.
She was trembling as I held her at arm's length and finally managed to convince her to lie down and try to go to sleep. I told her ancient legends until she'd finally drifted off, and then curled up beside her and drunk in her scent.
Chapter 31
I left Adri's side as I heard Jasmin return to the house. She shot me a defiant look as I intercepted her on the way to her room. I held up a hand to forestall the tongue lashing she was a heartbeat away from delive
ring.
"Jas, I'm glad you made it back ok."
She was so shocked I was able to pull her in for a hug, something I hadn't done in far too long.
"Thank you for helping take care of Adri for me. I know it's not fair, but if possible please try to get her out tonight."
Jasmin nodded as she wiped away the moisture at the corner of her eyes before it could become actual tears.
"We'll get her out. Dom and I both love her too, and Isaac will do it just because it's the right thing to do."
I nodded in gratitude and then pulled out my phone.
"It's nearly time."
"I know. I'll go get Dom and we'll get Adri out of her dress and into something that'll keep her from freezing."
I sent a quick text to Isaac, and then went in search of Donovan. I found him in his office, a black and white movie playing on the TV.
"Yes, Master Alec?"
I waved him back into his seat and pulled the extra chair around so I could face him.
"Donovan, I want you to go to her tonight."
He shook his head, the perfect picture of a loyal retainer intent on going down with the ship.
"I'm serious. There's still a chance that I can hurt Brandon badly enough that the rest of the pack can escape. If that happens they'll pick up mom and Rachel and try to disappear. There won't be anything stopping you from doing what you've wanted to do all these years."
Again a slight shake of the head, and then Donovan cleared his throat.
"I'm too much of a prize these days to be allowed to disappear and you know it, Alec. Under your guidance the family fortunes have grown by an order of magnitude. Brandon, the Coun'hij, none of them can afford to let that kind of wealth get away from them."
Donovan reached into his desk drawer and handed me a thin slip of paper with an address and a fifteen digit code on it.
"If anyone survives they should go here. I've been steadily siphoning off untraceable funds for most of the last decade. It's a paltry sum, but it should be more than enough for all seven of them to disappear for the rest of their lives."
The thought of Donovan waiting patiently as Brandon arrived to capture him, of the torture that he'd be subject to so that Brandon could learn our financial secrets, was almost enough to bring me to my knees. Donovan misinterpreted the horror on my face and reached out to grip my arm.