Jaycee was suddenly in my face. “Stop looking at him. You didn’t honestly think that the two of you would stay together…did you?” The three girls giggled as if that was the most absurd thought they’d ever heard.
My mouth came open but nothing came out. I closed it and tried to step away. “Oh my God. You did! That is so cute.” Her tone was sticky sweet and condescending.
I back stepped from their unified semi-circle and battled the tears that stung my eyes. Before I got far enough away, Jaycee grabbed a handful of my shirt and yanked me toward her.
“Leave him alone. Got it?” She gritted through clenched teeth.
With every ounce of power I could find, I dropped my Algebra book on the floor and shoved her body as forcefully as I could, sending her sprawling across the floor. She screamed as she fell and slid backward hitting her head on the tile. A single tear escaped from my lid. I glanced up to see Zach and Brett staring at Jaycee lying on the floor and her friends rush toward her. I wanted to pounce on her and punch her but I stood frozen, my eyes locked on Zach as he bent down to her.
“What happened?” he asked with Brett at her other side. I wanted to vomit.
Jaycee held her head and glowered at me. “That bitch!” she yelled pointing with the other hand. At that instant, every single set of eyes in that hallway focused on me. My body trembled from adrenaline still shooting through my veins. I’d never been in a fight in my life and I believed I could take on the world. Suddenly, Jaycee managed to stand and started barreling toward me. Crap! Where was Ryan when I needed him? I was going to be so grounded. I braced myself half expecting her to knock me unconscious, when Zach yanked her back by the hood on her shirt, somewhat choking her. I chuckled and loosened my clenched fists allowing blood to flow into them. Jaycee was fighting Zach now, her arms flailing and legs kicking as I watched his arm wrap around her waist and restrain her. Must be upset she got her ass kicked by a freshman. Brett was jogging to me.
“Runt? You OK?” he asked and picked up my Algebra book.
“I will be. Thanks, Brett.” He handed me the book and I looked at Zach. He restrained Jaycee’s arms at her side and was talking to her. He’d made his choice. I had to get out of there. I spun around and rammed into Mr. Bowman and Mr. Ming.
Having my father pick me up from school was the worst thing of all. Suspended for three days. What a load of crap. Jaycee got nothing since she didn’t act ‘aggressively.’ Of course my unwillingness to tell officials what she’d said to me didn’t help. I was too embarrassed to tell. So now, three more days without seeing Zach. What difference did it make? It was over. They were a couple…I may as well skip the remaining two weeks of school all together. By the time I got back from my suspension, there would be five days left. This year, I couldn’t wait to go to Cannon.
During my hiatus from school, I used my better-than-average calligraphy skills to address Ryan’s graduation thank you notes. I’d already done his announcements and figured it was the least I could do since I was grounded and couldn’t do anything else. I was trying to mentally prepare myself for Monday. Seeing Jaycee and Zach together would be worse than torturous. I think I’d rather have my head slammed in a car door. I wondered if he’d drive her to school…though she already drove. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how wrong she was for him. He deserved someone better than her. I wasn’t throwing my name into the bowl because, I knew deep down, he deserved someone better than me.
Monday was interesting to say the least. Ryan and Grant worked together to walk me to my classes. My own personal security squad. First hour was Ryan’s and I didn’t realize second hour was Grant’s until he was standing in the hall when the bell rang. I wasn’t sure what their plan was for Thursday and Friday since seniors didn’t have to come those days. They both met me after second hour and walked me to algebra—my only class with Estelle. Thank God, I had no classes with Jaycee—but then she had nothing advanced.
Ryan grabbed my arm before I walked in. “Don’t let her get to you.”
I nodded.
“I got her back,” Grant comforted Ryan, and we walked in.
Zach was already sitting in his seat. I thought my heart was going to pop from my chest it beat so forcefully. As much as I wanted to, I didn’t have the courage to look at him. I twisted my hair while waiting for Mr. Bowman.
Luckily, I managed to make it through the hour without opening my mouth. I watched the second hand rotate on the clock and held my breath till the bell rang. I glanced at Grant and we met at the door.
“Em. Can I talk to you?”
I hadn’t heard his voice in a while and it was music to my ears. I didn’t want to look at him. I couldn’t. It hurt too much. “I can’t, Zach.” My feet somehow stepped into the hallway where Ryan waited.
Zach grabbed my arm. “Em, please.”
“Please, let me go,” I begged. “I can’t do this.”
Suddenly, Ryan was there and gently put his hand on Zach’s chest. “Dude. Let her go.” I was impressed; he said it nicely and with no act of aggression.
Zach wore my favorite peach T-shirt. His beautiful brown eyes flickered from Ryan to me then to Grant. I think I could smell him. Resigned, Zach lowered his head and strolled down the hallway.
Ryan’s eyes were sad. “You OK?”
My throat was too dry to talk, so I simply nodded as we headed to gym.
My sixteenth birthday arrived without incident, which with my track record was a plus. I was happy for Ryan that his high school graduation day was a perfect day. It was forecasted to be 83 degrees and sunny. It didn’t get any better. My sixteenth birthday—a day I’d waited for anxiously to arrive and Graduation Day—a day I’d dreaded all year. Both held broken promises.
But…I was sixteen. I could drive. I was going to be nearly a junior after my summer school credits. I should be on top of the world. Sweet sixteen, isn’t that what it was called? Or at least what it was supposed to be. Nothing about this birthday was sweet. My heart was broken, my world turned upside down. I knew no matter what present came my way today…I couldn’t have the one thing I wanted.
I had made Zach a picture collage of the two of us over the past year and framed it. I didn’t know when or if I’d get it to him and figured he wasn’t much interested. I wrapped it and slid it into a sack with his class rings. I didn’t want to give them back. But it wasn’t fair that I kept them. They belonged to him and I didn’t anymore.
After trying on six dresses, I decided on my floral sundress. The straps were dainty and it was short and made my legs look longer than they were. I straightened my hair and wore it down. As I took the stairs slowly, my borderline depression showing in my lethargic steps, I heard Mom and Ryan arguing.
“You are not wearing flip-flips with your khakis.”
“Mom. Please. Everyone will be wearing them.” He was begging and I laughed to myself.
“Everyone but you,” she said, unwilling to give in.
I rounded the corner and caught his eye roll and something he muttered under his breath. He was handsome in his khakis and green polo shirt. After about five hundred pictures and poses and a change of shoes, we headed to the school.
The parking lot was just beginning to fill and I immediately spotted Zach’s Jeep parked in the front. The stadium seats were splattered with different groups of people securing their seats, and we parted with Ryan to go get ours. With my sunglasses on, I watched the seniors who were gathering in the corner of the field. Ryan stood with his buddies and Zach was with them. I’m not sure why I found comfort in that, but I did.
Ali and her folks spotted us and she joined me. I couldn’t bring myself to say I was happy that she and Ryan were still together, but I wasn’t upset about it either. I knew Ryan too well to know the chances of her fairy tale coming true weren’t good. As we talked, my eyes roamed the crowd for Mr. and Mrs. Owens. I wondered if Jaycee would be with them, sitting next to Zach’s mom. The thought made me cringe with jealousy.
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br /> The programs became hand-held fans as the sun beat down into the stadium. The teachers and administration took the stage, and our ROTC flag team carried the flags to the podium as we all stood. When the Pomp and Circumstance march began, my heart’s rhythm seemed out of whack. This was not how it was supposed to be; I felt tears build in my eyes. Then I saw Mr. and Mrs. Owens and found relief that Jaycee was not with them. I would have been. I knew we would have come together.
As the march played, the upcoming seniors filed in lining the walkway for the graduates. The queen bees, Estelle, Claire and Jaycee stood together. From where I sat, I could see Jaycee staring at me as I glanced sideways from behind my sunglasses. I was thankful for the darker tint. I contemplated offering her a smile or being a bitch but figured her hateful glare sent a clear enough message. She had won…she had him…not me. I looked away.
When the graduates came down the hill and made their entrance, Ali and I hurried down the aisle to snap some pictures. It wasn’t like I only had one person to get on film…I had six brothers graduating today. And Zach. They came one by one…my boys…graduating from high school. Connor Eisenbarth…RYAN HENDRICKS!!!…I gave a fierce shout when they called his name, he rolled his eyes at me then winked at Ali who had a conniption over the gesture. Brett Hess…Joshua Long…Grant Meiers. Now there were the flip-flops, and, of course no pants stuck out the bottom of his gown, so I was hoping at best for shorts. He pointed at me when he walked past and I snapped the picture. Then finally, ZACHARY OWENS! My heart melted as our eyes met for just a brief second before he looked away. I stood numb and braced myself for the beautiful smile that he would flash toward Jaycee—the smile that should be directed toward me. I’m not sure why my tears fell as I watched Jaycee’s eyes follow him. But his gaze looked straight ahead never addressing her, then suddenly flickered back to me. His gaze was friendly. I wiped my tears and smiled then quickly lifted my camera into position. He smiled as he rounded the corner to go down the center aisle and that was all it took for me to fall undeniably back in love. What did that smile mean? Had he seen my tears and felt sorry for me? I glanced back toward Jaycee whose face was frozen and fists clenched. My eyes fell to the ground, confident that she was pissed. Ali and I headed back up to our folks.
The ceremony was faster than I expected. As Salutatorian, Zach had to speak to the crowd. I hit the aisle again, this time by myself and met Mrs. Owens. She offered a friendly smile then draped her arm over my shoulders. The overwhelming joy her gesture gave me was incredible. Though I knew there was a possibility of getting beat up later, I didn’t dare pull away. It would be worth it.
Good evening. As my fellow classmates know, I am not from Ashland but from San Francisco. When I came here a year ago, I didn’t care to meet the people or to fit in or to even be liked. But I quickly found out that this town and the people were just as special as where I came from. Ashland High has so many good people that I am happy to call friends. This great journey that I have traveled over the past year has been a true lesson to me. I have learned that just because there is change in your life, doesn’t mean it’s not for the better. The world is round and about the time you think it’s ending…it may actually be beginning. And at a time, when I thought my world was crashing down around me…I saw the light. I, along with the help of someone very special, found who I was, who I wanted to be and what I wanted to stand for. I walk away today proud to be an Ashland High School graduate. Thank you.
I stood frozen, silent tears streaking my cheeks and my camera still at my side. I hadn’t gotten a picture of one of the most important times in his life, and I watched him return to his seat. Mrs. Owens gently tugged on my arm and led me in the direction I was supposed to go. As I slid in next to my mother, she patted my leg.
“You know he was talking about you, don’t you?”
I shrugged, unwilling to feel even the simplest pleasure from the thought. But she was right…it had to be me. He’d spent nearly the entire year with me. Jaycee had only been over the past thirty days. Estelle, I know, meant nothing to him. So…I felt at peace. He didn’t hate me. I was ‘very special’ hopefully in a non-limited way and I’d helped him through this year. I owed him a thank you. Who was I kidding…I owed him so much more than that.
At the end of the ceremony, a flurry of hats flew into the air and roars of happiness, relief and regrets shot across the graduates. It was more difficult than I imagined watching this chapter of my life come to an end. I made a mental promise not to cry.
Suddenly, a pair of hands covered my eyes. “Guess who?”
My heart raced. Could it be? “Give me a hint.”
“The hottest guy you know?”
I recognized the voice. “Austin! What are you doing here?”
His face contorted into a shocked expression. “Emma. Are you kidding? My folks wouldn’t have missed this. Though you skipped mine last year.” I was glad I had graduated to Emma with him rather than Runt.
“I was sick.” I defended. “One hundred and three degree temperature.”
He massaged my shoulders. “I know. How’s it going with Zach?”
“It’s not going. I think…it’s officially over.” I grimaced as the words came out.
His arms pulled me in. “Em. There’s going to be so many Zach’s for you. You’re just getting started.”
I knew he was being nice and consoling so I didn’t want to tell him how wrong he was. Zach was the only man for me…ever. Knowing I would live without him made it hurt even more.
Austin and I walked onto the football field where the graduates were celebrating and mingling with family and friends.
“Happy Birthday!!”
I flipped around and Grant whacked me on top of my head with his cap, the tassel tickling my nose. “Thanks!” I grinned.
“Sweet sixteen,” he said smiling big. “Little Runt is sixteen. I get to spank you later.”
I beamed uncontrollably as he jogged off to see his folks and Austin shook his head.
“EMMA!” my dad shouted. “Come on.” He waved me toward the group and I hugged Austin.
“I’ll see you in a few weeks,” I said.
Austin stared at me. “You know, this year I look forward to it. In fact, I did you a favor. Now you must do me one this summer.”
“I can do that,” I agreed with curiosity.
“One date.” He waited to speak further, watching my reaction. I was certain he didn’t notice my heart skip a beat. “In fact, let’s not call it a date. We’ll call it a day. That way there are no expectations. A day of fun. We can do Seaside, Astoria, dune buggy in Florence. You name it.”
I tried to act cool while my insides were doing jumping jacks, though I knew he was just feeling sorry for me. “You got it. It’s a day.”
“Happy birthday.” He kissed my cheek then met up with his parents. I sighed as he walked away.
Ali and her family were talking with my folks and she and Ryan were standing together. Her dream was still coming true. I was living a nightmare. I had to force myself to look the other way.
“OK. So we’ll meet you all in the park?” My dad asked Ryan and Ali.
“Yeah. We’ll head there now. Come on.” Ryan motioned to us and we walked toward the truck. I turned around and casually scanned the dispersing crowd but didn’t see Zach anywhere. The sun was falling and the evening was getting cool.
“Why the park?” I asked heading toward downtown.
“Mom and Dad ordered barbeque and set up some tables. Ali’s folks are meeting us there. Grant, Brett, Con. After, we’ll head to some parties.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure how I’d missed that plan. But of course we’d do barbeque today…it was after all, the graduate’s favorite and not the birthday girl’s. Whatever. I tried to fight the resentful feeling whirling inside me.
Ryan stopped in front of the bridge where balloons floated at the entrance of the park. White lights hung on the bridge railings. Wow.
“Ali. Why don’t
you and Em get out…I’ll park and be right up.”
“OK.”
She nudged me and I opened the door. I smiled the moment I heard the fast running creek trickling over the river rock. Outside of the ocean, it was one of my most favorite sounds and the spring rains only made it better.
Ali and I crossed the bridge and as we got closer, I heard music playing.
“So. You’ll have to tell me if Zach is at the parties.”
“You know I will…but.”
“But what? You don’t have to protect me. If he’s with her, that’s OK. I just want to know.” The feeling made my stomach knot.
“I don’t think he’ll be with her.”
I stopped walking and stared at her. She knew something. “Why?”
“Cause he’ll be with you.” Her finger pointed to the left of me and my eyes followed the direction she pointed. Zach sat alone on the park bench staring at me.
FIFTY-ONE
Zach
Oh my God, my heart flipped over inside my chest when her eyes found mine. Planning this moment was difficult enough knowing there was a possibility she had moved on without me. The jury was deliberating that one. I still wasn’t sure, but her smile during the graduation processional raised my hopes.
The stubbornness I had come to know and love over the past twelve months left me unsure if she would stay or run. As predatorily as it may sound, I had to find a way to lure her. Ali left the moment Emma looked at me and maybe she had the same sense and got out while she could.
Emma was nothing if not predictable but her desire to want to sleep with 17 guys to catch me was ludicrous. And even more absurd to think I wanted that too. She thought more like a guy than a girl but given her upbringing with Ryan, it wasn’t all that surprising. Uh-oh, she took a step backward.
Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) Page 34