Alexi came alongside Connie. “The kids look really happy. Thank you.”
“Oh, they were great,” Connie said. “No problems whatsoever.” They might have a different story about her.
Alexi tipped her head. “But...?”
But I broke up with Ben, the kid in my care has a drug gang chasing her and my ex seems to want me hurt or killed or convicted. “I should start cooking the rice.”
“Might as well call Mel and Ben,” Seth said, his fingers already working his phone screen. Great. All she needed was to have to pretend that she and Ben were happy.
Amy thrust her arms into the air. “A family reunion!”
“Technically Ben isn’t family unless he marries Auntie Connie,” Bryn said.
“Which isn’t happening,” Seth cut in with a warning look at his new stepson.
As far as Seth was concerned, she was still not good enough for Ben. Alexi departed into the bedroom with the luggage and Connie pulled out her phone to do...something, anything, check Facebook.
There was a text from Ben. Ariel has a sore tooth. It’s been like this for two months.
Two months? Why hadn’t Ariel told her? How had Ben learned of it?
“Mel can come over,” Seth said. “Ben’s busy.”
Busy telling her what she should have known, apparently. “Does Mel know I’m cooking?”
“Cooking? Whatever. You got the chicken from Sobeys and salad in a bag.”
“Hey, the rice is all me. Speaking of which—” She should cook it.
Seth set to work on his phone. “I’ll tell Mel to pick up fries from McDonald’s. It’ll satisfy his need to bring food and save you the trouble of burning another pot.”
The kids had definitely told a different story. “Don’t you need to milk a cow or something?”
Seth rose to his feet, kids and cats falling away from him like rocks down a hill. “I better make sure the new calf’s okay. Honey?” he called to Alexi through the open kitchen window. “I’m going out to the barn. Callie and Amy went upstairs and I’ll take the boys, all right?”
“All right, sugar,” she chimed back.
Sugar? Connie mouthed to Seth. He glared and quickly left with the boys, who were happily beating on each other.
Connie picked up the crumpled wrapping paper and tried not to think of Ben. They hadn’t been in contact all day, which felt like months and months. Well, girl, get used to it. She wanted the distance, in fact. Only—only—what was that stupid Chinese proverb? Be careful what you wish for because you might get it.
No. Stop with the regrets, Connie. Keep moving.
She shoved the last of the paper and ribbons and plastic into a bag and tied the handles. Now, time to shake out a salad.
As she entered the kitchen, Alexi appeared at the bedroom door adjoining the dining room. “Connie? Could you come here?”
She said it in a way that made Connie wonder if she’d left her dirty underwear lying on a pillow. She was sure she’d picked everything up that morning.
As soon as she entered the room and followed the direction of Alexi’s gaze, she realized the one important piece she’d forgotten to pack. The ring box. It sat on the bedside table for all to see. Well, for Alexi and—thankfully—not Seth.
“Yours, by chance?”
“Uh, yes.” Connie slipped the box into the leg pocket of her cargo pants. What was the story she’d told Lindsay? “A friend’s actually. Friend of a friend, from Smooth Sailing. He lives with his girlfriend and he doesn’t want her accidentally finding it and ruining the surprise, and he works up north and doesn’t want to take it there into the camps.”
Alexi frowned. “There’s no ring in it. I checked.”
Right. Ben had it. She must’ve looked as desperate as her thinking because Alexi touched her arm. “I’m sorry, Connie. I assumed Seth had put it there. That’s why I opened the box. Do you know where it could be?”
“Oh, yes. I put it in—in a safety-deposit box.”
“Why didn’t your friend do that?”
“Uh, why didn’t my friend do that? Well...you see, he, uh...”
Alexi took on the mother stance, hands on hips, head tilted, eyebrows raised. Connie remembered her own mother had assumed that position daily, if not hourly, with her. She herself had used it on Ariel. “Who gave it to you?” Alexi said.
Connie slumped to the bed. “Ben.”
Alexi dropped down beside her. “Ben proposed to you?” The faint squeak in her voice shifted her out of her mother role into something else. Dare she call it friend mode?
“Yes.”
“Wow.” Alexi nudged Connie with her elbow. “Was it the wedding?”
“Ah, no. He’d proposed way before then. On Valentine’s Day.”
“Valentine’s Day! And you two have kept it a secret all this time?”
“Yes, well, I didn’t accept his proposal, and then he withdrew it.” Because she’d told him that he suffocated her, except that since the wedding night, she’d felt as if she hadn’t drawn a proper breath.
“Oh,” Alexi said, and fell silent.
Connie was absolutely not going into Ben and Miranda and the whole paternity test thing. She drew on another truth. “He can do a lot better than me.”
“You know what I thought when I first saw you?”
Connie cringed. She’d been Alexi’s landlady at the time and she’d dressed herself in solid pink to muster the courage to kick her and her four kids out of the only home they knew. “That I made the evil queen in Cinderella look as—” she glanced around for inspiration and pointed “—cuddly as that stuffed animal?”
Alexi tucked the stuffie, a green moose with scales, in her lap. “There was that. But also that you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.”
“I am beautiful. That’s a fact. Like grass is green and birds have feathers.”
“Humble, too.”
Connie twisted to look at the other woman square-on. “It’s not as easy as you think. People make assumptions. I can’t tell if men want me for me or my body, and women are jealous and catty. You’ve no idea.”
Connie realized how that sounded at the same time Alexi whacked her with the moose. Oddly, it felt good. Normal. What a good friend would do when insulted.
What Miranda would’ve done when they’d been best friends and convinced her that nothing or nobody would get between them.
“I’ll have you know,” Alexi said, “that two men have proposed to me.”
Eager to keep the subject off her, Connie asked, “Honest now, whose was better?”
Alexi burst out laughing. “You wouldn’t believe Seth’s. It was the absolute worst. He probably—”
“—doesn’t want you telling his sister,” Seth said, pushing open the door, scowling.
“You have to admit it was pretty bad,” Alexi said.
“You have to admit I made it up to you,” he said.
They began to make bedroom eyes at each other.
Connie bounced off the bed. “I’ve got a big important salad to not make.”
Later, after supper, Connie whispered to Alexi as they loaded the dishwasher, “Did you tell Seth?”
Alexi rattled in the last of the silverware and closed the door. “About what?”
Connie started to remind her when she caught sight of Alexi’s face. “Brat,” Connie pronounced, and snapped Alexi’s leg with her dish towel.
Alexi grabbed another towel. “Game on.”
And they—like friends, like sisters—were off—laughing, snapping, circling, while Mel and four kids cheered them on. Seth and Ariel rolled their eyes and went back to their poker game.
* * *
FROM THE MOMENT Seth insisted that he would drive Connie back to her house, she knew that her brother planned to have a word with her. Except, onc
e in the truck, he hesitated, apparently having overlooked the presence of Ariel, who sat between them, gnawing on her lip ring and fiddling with the strap on her backpack.
“Oh, just spit it out,” Connie finally said. “Ariel’s heard it all.”
“Heard too much,” Seth said. “Whatever I have to say can wait.”
“That’s a first.”
Seth pointed his finger at her. “Don’t start.”
Fine. She wouldn’t. It had been a long, long time since she’d had so much fun with family. She’d counted three times that Seth’s smile had included her, and once he actually laughed at something she said. Ben would have thought—
No. Move on.
She moved onto Ariel’s bulging backpack. “How much homework do you have?”
“I have to read a story for English, that’s it.”
“Uh-huh. That bag’s pretty full for one story.”
“It’s a long story.”
“Hey,” Seth said. “Connie just wants the best for you.”
“Yes, Ben,” Ariel muttered.
“What’s that?”
Before Connie could stop her, Ariel said, “Ben goes on about how Auntie Connie is just taking care of me. Every day after school, he asks about homework like I’m his kid, which—”
Connie swatted Ariel’s thigh and glared a warning. But even without the whole paternity matter, Seth had plenty to go on. “Why’s Ben over there every day after school?”
“Fixing it up. He bought the house,” said Ariel.
“No,” Connie said. “He has not. He offered to buy it, but he hasn’t.”
“Well, you agreed to sell it to him. I was there, remember?”
“The deal fell through.”
Ariel snorted. “Yeah, like the proposal.”
Seth yanked the truck to the curb and parked fast. He switched on the overhead light. “You’re right, Connie. Ariel has heard it all.” His voice was hard, cold, not happy. “Ariel,” he said with false cheer, “tell me about this proposal. I take it Ben asked Connie to marry him?”
Ariel shrank against the seat, and now—now she decided to keep her mouth shut. Time for Connie to open hers. She spoke fast. “Yes, Ben proposed, and I refused and he refused to accept my refusal. At first. Then he withdrew his proposal, took back the ring and now we’re good. Okay?”
“What did you do to make him change his mind?”
Connie threw up her hands. “What makes you think I did something wrong? Maybe, just maybe, Ben figured out on his own that it was over between us.”
Seth shook his head. “Three years since you two broke up, three years of him eating where you work, three years of getting sad when you started going out with someone else, three years of me never talking about you around him because it’s such a sore point, and then he up and backs out of a marriage proposal to you? No. Something doesn’t add up.”
All the happy noise from this evening, all the repairs she’d done to their relationship, were ripped away. Nothing left but him, angry and suspicious. As always. Everything, the wedding, taking care of the kids, working on her stupid course, none of it had worked.
“What can I do,” she whispered, “to make you stop hating me?”
He stilled. “I don’t hate you.”
But his words were too quick, too hollow-sounding. She pressed back against her seat and looked out the window at the darkened trees. She’d bail out of the truck, except that Ariel was right there, and if a sixteen-year-old could deal with freaks hunting her, then she could take a little truth from Seth. And maybe he could take some from her.
“I can’t do nursing, Seth. I tried. I was okay with CPR. It made sense. But all this chemistry and statistics... I mean, I can do it, I know I could get through it all, but out in the real world? I nearly fainted when the cow was calving. I ran away. Ariel ended up helping Ben. It wasn’t that it was gross, but all I could think about was all the ways it could go wrong. What kind of nurse does that? I’m just not that interested in sick people. I know me saying this is a big disappointment to you and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. You got a criminal record for me so I could make something of myself and all I did was screw up and here I am again flat-out telling you that I can’t do it. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”
“Connie,” Seth said, “shut up.”
Between them, Ariel made a sound Connie had never heard. A whimper of fear, a quiet plea for them to stop.
As one, Seth and Connie slumped against their seats. Seth reached for the gearshift behind the wheel, then pulled back. “I forgive you.”
Connie gasped. Like a drowning person who surfaces and takes in their first air.
“And you don’t have to make it better. If you don’t want to go into nursing, you don’t have to.”
She sucked in another breath.
“I went into farming. What guy pushing forty gives up steady money to go into something he knows next to nothing about? Especially when he has a family to support.”
She hadn’t realized he was so worried about his decision. “It’ll work out.”
“All I’m saying is that if you want to do something other than nursing, then I can hardly blame you.”
“Except I don’t know what I want to do.”
Ariel loosened her hold on her backpack, and a small smile played at the corners of her mouth. “Party.”
“That’s so not true. I work, I volunteer, I help with the kids, I take care of you. I don’t even remember the last time I went to a party.”
“The wedding.”
“My brother’s wedding. That’s an occasion.”
“A party.” Ariel turned to Seth. “And there are posters all over the school for a huge year-end event she’s planning for all the kids. Hundreds of kids. A summer kickoff. I call it a party.”
“I call it a party, too,” Seth agreed. He switched off the overhead light and headed the truck down the street. The discussion was over for him. Apparently, he and Ariel thought her life was one big party after another.
“It’s not like before,” she said. “It’s just people together, having fun. That’s all, I swear.”
“Connie,” Seth said quietly, “I know. I was at my wedding, remember?”
The wedding where Luke and Derek, drunk, got into a fight.
“You organized a great party, everyone had fun, the drinking didn’t get out of hand and it was perfect.”
A compliment, finally, but one she didn’t deserve. “Well, actually—”
Ariel swatted Connie’s thigh and glared. Pulling up to the house, Seth caught the movement and glanced at Connie.
“As I was saying,” she said. “there were lots of people who helped with the wedding. And yes, including you, Ariel.”
Ariel bit her lip, this time to hold back a smile, and sweetly dipped her head. “Thanks, Auntie Connie.”
“You’re welcome,” she answered, and hopped out of the truck. Ariel slid out and continued up the walk to the house. Connie turned to Seth.
“All right,” she said. “You can say what you’ve been itching to tell me.”
“I forget now.” Seth hitched himself in his seat. “I don’t hate you, Connie.” He smiled a little and then it grew big and for her alone. “In fact, it’s probably the opposite.”
She matched his smile. “I love you, too, bro.”
She quickly shut the truck door and walked away to ease his embarrassment.
* * *
IN HER OWN bed for the first night in four days, Connie reached into her bedside drawer and pulled out her current steno pad. Very carefully, she drew a line through Ben Carruthers’s name because she’d promised him she would.
As soon as she finished, she wanted to undo it. She felt as if she’d cheated. Ariel had told her that Ben would let them know about the results of the paternity tes
t. She’d said that the test had gone “all right.” Helping Ben with the cow had also gone “all right.” She’d also let drop that Ben had passed the bag of pills to someone who she figured out was McCready. That had also gone “all right.”
Connie ached for details about Ben’s meeting with McCready but that would mean talking to Ben, and while she could claim a right to know based on Ariel’s involvement, last night’s revelations had left them both tender and raw.
Best to leave him alone right now. She had no right to demand that he give her space and then not give it to him.
She drew a second line through Seth’s name and felt good about that. She hovered her pen over Miranda’s name. Close, but she needed to ensure Ariel’s safety from the gang first. And her own, for that matter.
She didn’t even consider Trevor McCready’s name.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“EIGHT CAVITIES?”
Connie stared at the dentist and down at Ariel. The girl was stretched out on the dental chair, looking as shocked as Connie felt. Eight times two hundred was sixteen hundred bucks. If Ben turned out to be Ariel’s father, she knew where the first child support payment was going.
“The good news is that five are tiny pinholes.” Jeremy Dillard, the dentist, sat on his stool on the other side of Ariel. “They can wait for a couple of months.”
Five-eighths of Connie’s stress disappeared. “And the other three?”
Jeremy bared his pearly whites in a sympathetic grimace. “I could put off two for a few weeks but there’s one—” he tapped a dark splotch on the X-ray up on the computer behind Ariel’s head “—here. I might have to do a root canal.”
Ariel twisted around to view her teeth, all transparent and gray and garish. “What’s a root canal?”
Building a Family Page 18