“How can I talk to him, Johnny?” Christina seethed. “He’s gone away, off-grid, to God knows where! How am I supposed to talk to him when he’s made it impossible?”
Putting his hands up in submission, Johnny grinned. “Details,” he quipped, making Christina smile. “What’s the real problem, Dina? Why do you hate Shanwick so much? I mean it’s not an awesome metropolis or anything, but is it really that bad?”
Christina turned and stared at her brother. “Hello! Don’t you remember? Like when they suspected me of murder? And our windows got smashed in? Or when they trashed Dad’s car, you know, stuff like that?”
“Wait,” Johnny said, his eyes wide. “What are you talking about? Are you serious?”
“No,” Christina rolled her eyes. “I made it all up because I’m a complete fantasist that needs attention.”
“Well, that’s good then,” Johnny deadpanned. “Because I was going to say.” Christina laughed and hit him on the arm. “I didn’t know Dina,” he shrugged, “or I did and don’t remember, you know, drugs. Why don’t you start at the beginning and tell me what happened?”
**********
“No shit! Holy… shit. Shit!”
Christina loved her brother, but if he said ‘shit’ one more time she was going to put him in a headlock. “People I knew my whole life, Johnny, thought I was capable of killing someone,” she whispered. “I got attacked in town. Eddie Robinson saved me.”
Johnny stood up, waving his hands through his hair. It was one of his tells when he was stressed. “Does Riley know?”
Christina shook her head. “No. He doesn’t and you can’t tell him! If he knows…” Brother and sister shared a look of understanding. The rest was better left unsaid.
“Come on,” Johnny tried to smile, but failed. “Let’s go get something to eat. I need to think about this.”
Downstairs, Christina encountered an unwelcome creature sitting on the couch as if he owned the place. Schubert, the disgusting sex pervert cat from next door. The thing was sitting there staring at her, as if they shared a secret because they did.
That creature had molested her when she was asleep and the only person she’d told was Riley. She automatically covered her chest and inwardly shuddered. “What is that thing doing here?” Christina snapped, stalking toward it and clapping her hands. “Shoo. Go away, thing. Go on. Shoo.”
“Stop it, Dina,” Gabby cried. “He lives with us now. His name is Pussy Riot.”
“Nooooo,” Christina hissed.
“Yes,” said her father, sticking his chin out in determination and then grimacing. “He’s just called Riot now. Yelling ‘pussy’ around the neighborhood is unseemly and it upsets Mrs. Gustafson. Riot lives with us and he’s a fantastic cat. You’ll just have to get along. ”
“He’s our boy,” Johnny said from behind her, shoveling food in his mouth. Staring lovingly at the cat, he cooed. “Aren’t you, kitty? Yes, you are.”
As her brother scratched the black and white molester, it rolled over, stretching out a leg, and acting cute. She pulled a face, glaring in disgust at her family. Their unnatural love for the pervert cat was disturbing.
You could use a myriad of terms to describe her family: unusual, socially awkward, different, misfits, freaks, weird, crazy… The list went on. She’d been called all of those terms, sometimes in combination with other insults added on the end. Looking at her family’s reaction to the cat, she decided that maybe they had, at long last, really gone full crazy in her absence.
“He likes to sleep in Johnny’s old room – the one you’re in. Just loves it,” Gabby grinned, her eyes glinting mischievously.
“It won’t be sleeping with me,” Christina snapped. Not after the last time. “I’ll be keeping the bedroom door locked against that… thing.”
Her comments were met with outrage and she argued that she was entitled to refuse the cat residence in her room if she so desired. The rights of Riot versus Christina became rather heated, until her sister intervened. “There’s a present in the fridge for you,” winked Gabby.
Present? Excellent. Christina could do with a present right now. She’d always loved presents and relished them with a childish passion.
Opening the fridge, her eyes went wide. “Vodka Skittles,” Christina breathed in awe.
Gabby’s grin stretched wide across her face. “You’re welcome, Dina. By the way, we’re going trick or treating tonight with Mandy and the kids.”
Mandy! Christina perked up at the name of one of her BFFs. Mandy’s husband, Dave, was the drummer of Johnny’s band, Collective Pitch, and they were all resident in Shanwick working on a new album. In actuality, the band was in town because of Johnny and his insistence that he be close to Gabby while she recovered.
Mandy Robinson-Warnock, Bonnie Howard, and Christina had been best friends since childhood. Gabby was her sister by blood, but Mandy and Bonnie were soul sisters by choice. Distance may have separated the women, but the bonds between them were unbreakable.
Maybe being in Shanwick wasn’t perfect, but it might have its compensations? At least Mandy was here too and it would give her a chance to get to know Mandy’s children. She had always regretted not having a close relationship with them.
Given Mandy lived in New York and Christina in D.C., interaction was sporadic. Even though she wasn’t feeling sociable, she decided to try to focus on the positives. It might be fun even and it was, but not for Christina.
**********
By the time Johnny and his Italian supermodel girlfriend, LiLi walked in, the Martin sisters had been sampling the Vodka Skittles for nearly two hours. Playing angry music, which ranged from the All American Rejects to Pink to Alanis Morisette and ended in a rousing version of 4 Non Blonde’s “What’s Up”, had augmented their drinking.
Dressed in a blue I Dream of Jeannie costume that accentuated not only her super model credentials, but also, the baby bump in the front, Li-Li was stunning. “Chreeeesdena,” LiLi beamed nervously. “So good to ‘ave you ‘ome.” She kissed Christina on both cheeks and gave her a dazzling smile.
Christina stood staring at LiLi for a moment and blinked. The woman really was breathtaking and that wasn’t just the Vodka Skittles talking. It was like looking at the surface of the sun. If she were gay, LiLi would be on her ‘hit it’ list.
When Mandy walked in with her two perfect children, the Martin sisters tried to act sober, but failed. “Hey-hey everyone,” Christina giggled in a way that went on far too long, making Mandy’s beautiful eyes narrow.
“Are you drunk?” Mandy hiss-whispered and grabbed her children, blocking them from view. Connor was four years old and Aria, two. In looks, both children were miniature versions of their mother.
The Martin sisters started shaking their heads, but it turned into nodding. “Drunk?” Gabby giggled and shrugged. “Yeah, maybe a little, but it’s okay because weeeeeeee… have a plan.”
Mandy was beautiful by anyone’s standards and her inner beauty matched the outside. Mandy was African American with Native American heritage, standing 5’7, with long dark brown wavy hair that had natural golden highlights in it, green eyes with gold specks, and a smile that lit up a city. Dressed in a Catwoman costume, Mandy would fulfill any teenage boy’s fantasy.
Similarly to LiLi, Mandy was a model, but only did it part-time now or as a favor for friends. Christina had never worried about being best friends with beautiful women, but being in the room with two models would be a hit to any woman’s ego. Looking at LiLi and Mandy, and then herself, the comparison was unflattering.
Gabby looked at Christina then pointed at LiLi and Mandy. Leaning over and blurting in a loud slur-whisper, Gabby asked, “Do you ever feel like one of the ugly stepsisters with those two?”
“No,” Christina said sadly. “Well, I didn’t, but I do now. Thanks.”
“Welcome,” hiccupped Gabby. She tapped Christina on the arm, grimacing. “We’re not the pretty ones, Dina. Me and you, we’re not pretty.”
O
n that, Christina agreed. Compared to Mandy and LiLi, they were definitely not the pretty ones, but it gave Christina an idea. It was time to embrace the ugly.
Christina went and found her father, who was hiding away in his bedroom with Tessa. She asked if she could borrow one of his old oilskin raincoats and when he agreed, she threw it over the top of what she was wearing. It stunk and made Christina’s nose wrinkle, but it suited her frame of mind.
Dad and Tessa followed her out to the living room and when Mandy saw her appearance, she was horrified. Staring at her in confusion, Mandy asked, “Dina, what are you?”
Christina looked at her outfit and giggled, setting off Gabby. “I’m a hobo.”
“HOMO,” shouted Connor, startling Christina and Mandy. Pointing at Christina like an evil gnome, Connor bellowed, “She said HOMO.”
Mandy and Christina were aghast, but Gabby and Johnny couldn’t stop laughing. “I didn’t,” Christina protested weakly. “I said HO-BO, not HO-MO.”
“HOMO, HOMO, HOMO,” bellowed Connor, horrifying his mother, Christina, LiLi, and Tessa. Johnny and Gabby, however, were covering their mouths, and elbowing each other.
“Dina, stop saying homo,” Mandy begged.
Christina’s mouth dropped open and she spun around, staring at Mandy. “I am not saying that. He is.”
She was about to say more, but stopped when Mandy’s pleading eyes met hers. Christina would do anything for Mandy, including keeping the peace. Glaring at Connor, who had an evil grin on his face, Christina decided he was horrible.
“Connor,” Tessa said in her teacher’s voice. “Remember, when we use our words we need to ask ourselves: is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true? We have to be careful of our words. Words can hurt.”
Connor, however, was undeterred. He may look like his mother, but he was definitely his father’s child. Christina and Connor had a staring match, and to Christina’s surprise, she only just won it.
Pulling a face, Mandy whispered in Christina’s ear. “We’re having real problems with him at the moment. He latches onto every bad word and repeats it like a parrot.”
“The other day,” Mandy rolled her eyes, “we had to go see his teacher at the kindergarten. He’d drawn a picture of Dave’s you know, down there, and my va-jay-jay.”
Christina didn’t know what to say to that revelation, so kept quiet and focused on the beautiful Aria Warnock. She’d never got on well with Dave, so it made a certain sense that she might have personality issues with Connor. Aria, however, might be a different prospect.
Putting on her best smile, Christina cooed, “Hey sweetie,” but Aria took one look at her with eyes so much like her mother’s and burst into tears. Christina decided then and there that it wasn’t the children. It was her.
“Mommy, I’ve done a stink!” Aria wailed.
Oh god, she had. It made Christina’s eyes water and she almost retched. She put her hand to her nose and mouth to block the smell, but dropped it when Mandy glared at her.
“It’s okay, sweet-cheeks,” cooed Mandy. “Come on, Mommy will take you to the bathroom.” If the stench was anything to go by, nothing sweet had come out of those cheeks.
**********
Even for Halloween, they were a strange crew. Catwoman, her swearing son dressed as a ghost, stinky daughter in an angel costume, Christina the hobo, and then there was Gabby. To Christina’s horror, Gabby insisted she be pushed in her wheelchair to try and get sympathy candy from the neighborhood.
“You are not using that chair, Gabby,” Christina insisted. “You can walk. It is completely inappropriate and unethical.”
Gabby rolled her eyes and looked at Connor. “You know something, Connor?” He shook his head and Gabby beckoned him over. “Can you keep a secret?” Connor nodded his head vigorously. “Aunty Gabby is Santa’s friend, but Aunty Dina over there, she’s a bad lady. She works for the government and wants to stop children eating candy.”
Connor gave Christina a look full of loathing. “YOU’RE A PIG!” He shouted.
“Connor,” Mandy wailed. “STOP IT!”
“This is your fault,” Christina hissed at Gabby. “You are wrong on so many levels, Gabby, but using kids to help with your con?”
Rather than being ashamed, however, Gabby giggled and rolled her eyes. “You are such a drama queen and no fun. I don’t get what the problem is?”
The Martin sisters argued until Mandy intervened, pointing out it was late, and they needed to get moving. They eventually established a compromise where Christina agreed to take Gabby out in the wheelchair if she dressed up as an appropriate character. Christina suggested Professor X from X-Men in the hope that she’d have the pleasure of shaving Gabby’s head, but to her disappointment, Gabby went as Patches O’Houlihan from Dodgeball instead.
**********
Begrudgingly, Christina had to hand it to Gabby because their candy hoard was impressive. Pity candy obviously worked. They’d filled nearly all their bags much to the delight of the Warnock children and the horror of Mandy. She kept partially emptying the bags and stuffing candy in Gabby’s wheelchair to hide it from the children; mumbling about ‘child obesity’ and ‘processed sugar’.
They’d been out for nearly two hours when they decided it was time to head back. “Onwards, noble steed,” Gabby cried dramatically and when Christina didn’t move fast enough, Gabby started complaining. “Well, hurry up, Dina, I could walk faster than this.”
“What a good idea,” snapped Christina, trying to tip Gabby out of her wheelchair.
“Don’t, Dina!” Gabby squawked. “Help, help! Woman in wheelchair being mugged by hobo!”
“STOP IT! You two are worse than the children,” Mandy groaned. The three women looked at each other and giggled.
They were still laughing when Christina heard a voice she hadn’t heard in nearly a decade. The voice made her freeze; transporting her to a time she’d done her best to forget. “Oh, hey. Looky here, Shane. It’s the bitches of Shanwick,” gloated Carl Beaumont.
“So it is,” sneered Shane Palmer. “Ugliest-sorry-pack-of-bitches I’ve ever seen.”
Turning slowly, Christina looked them up and down. Even after all this time, she loathed them. Carl Beaumont was tall and lanky with a pale complexion, dark blonde hair, large hooded blue eyes, and a permanent sneer. In high school he’d had a bad case of acne, which had left pit marks on his jaw and chin.
Shane Palmer had always been big and beefy, but now he was running to fat. For someone in his late 20s, Shane had an impressive beer belly. His light brown hair was in his signature buzz cut, which hadn’t changed since high school. He had small, blue eyes and heavy eyebrows, which gave him an air of real menace.
What gave Christina the creeps were his large fleshy lips. Currently, they were rolled back, exposing his large teeth. He looked like an overweight piranha, but less endearing.
Both men were sneering and leering, trying their best to be intimidating. The last time Christina had seen these two creatures, they’d attacked her in town along with their now deceased friend, Jason King. Christina knew she shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, so she saved it for the thoughts she didn’t verbalize.
“Please mind your language,” Mandy said primly. “I have children here.”
“So what? Carl Beaumont snorted. “As if we give a shit about you and your kids, you stupid bitch.”
“BITCH,” shouted Connor. “BITCH, BITCH, BITCH”, he bellowed, making the two men laugh. Mandy tried to cover his mouth, but Connor was his father’s son, saving his best performances for an audience.
Gabby cackled loudly. “Oh look, it’s dumb and dumber. Can you say dumb and dumber, Connor?”
“DUMB,” yelled Connor. “DUMB FAT BUM!” Clearly, the boy had a talent for lyrics.
Gabby high-fived Connor: “YE-AH, close enough, Connor, and that was awesome.” They started to lead the children away, but the men hadn’t finished yet.
“What are you dressed as?” Carl Beaumont sneere
d at Christina. “Porky Pig?” She was about to ignore him, but then decided not to and quite frankly, she’d been called a pig once too often tonight.
Christina wasn’t afraid of them. They only attacked lone women in a pack. When Mandy’s 6’4 father stepped in, they’d run like the pathetic cowards they were.
What she hated was how they reminded her of one of the worst times in her life and how vulnerable she had been. She’d sworn to herself that she would never be that way again and she hadn’t. Until now, but Christina had never lacked for courage and that’s what she drew on.
Raising herself to her full height, she folded her arms and stuck her chin out. “No,” Christina sneered at Carl Beaumont. “I’m Lorena Bobbit,” staring pointedly and meaningfully at his crotch.
“Oooooh, nice one, Dina,” Gabby grinned. “Isn’t she the woman that cut her husband’s dick off and put it in a blender?”
Christina frowned. “I thought it was a garbage disposal.”
“Ooooh, yeah,” smirked Gabby. “That’s right. A garbage disposal.” Leaning forward in her wheelchair, Gabby looked at the men and mimed turning on a switch. “GRRRRRRRR,” she bellowed at the top of her voice, “GRRRRRRRRRRRR, GRRRRRRRRR.”
Both men swallowed hard, stepping backwards. Carl Beaumont was the first to recover, putting his thin-lipped sneer back on his face, and glaring at Gabby. “Crazy, stupid bitch,” he spat out. “I wish you fucking died in that protest. There’d be one less ugly pig in the world-”
“GAAAAAAAAA” yelled Connor, making both men jump in fright. “RAWRRRRRRRRRR,” screamed Aria, giving the men another start and making the women laugh uproariously. “Altogether now,” cackled Gabby at the children. “One, two, three… GAAAAAAAAA.”
“Why don’t you fuck off?” Shouted Shane Palmer. Connor opened his mouth, but Mandy was ready for him this time. She clamped her hand over his mouth as he struggled to get free and cuss back.
“See ya,” Gabby called out. “Seriously wouldn’t want to be ya.” Looking at Connor, Gabby grinned. “Can you say douche-bag, Connor?”
“DOOFBAG!” Yelled Connor.
Ties That Bind Page 7