Because she couldn’t stand to look at him a minute longer, she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. She could come back for her stuff anytime. All she knew was she couldn’t be in this house with him for another minute. It was becoming a recurring theme.
Showing up on her father’s doorstep was a lot harder than showing up on her sister’s. And it wasn’t just because Diamond lived in a fancy hotel either. Going home was more final than flitting off to Vegas. She needed it to be final. She wanted it to be final, but knowing it was, that was the hard part.
The daytime help her father employed was already gone for the night, and he came to the door himself.
“Hi, Daddy.”
His face when he opened the door had been hard and set, with a brusque air about it, and why wouldn’t it be? He had probably been expecting the press or some overly exuberant paparazzo who had no concept of social couth or boundaries. The hardened expression softened when he saw her standing there, her face streaked with tears, clutching her oversized purse to her chest like a suitcase.
“Hi, baby.” He opened his arms, and she rushed into them. Her father didn’t question her presence, though he must have known, and that’s when it hit her. She and Trevor weren’t meant to be. The writing had been on the wall for a long time, and the only people who hadn’t seen it was the two of them.
She stayed tucked into the safety of her father’s embrace with the cold night air rushing behind them for several minutes, sniffling into his silk pajama top as he stroked her hair. When she could finally speak, she pulled back, and looked up at him, forcing a sad smile.
“Can I stay for a while?”
“You don’t even need to ask, baby.” He guided her in, shutting the door behind them, and they walked arm in arm to the kitchen. Without speaking a word, they fell into an old routine. Her taking a seat at the oversized island in the middle of the kitchen while her father put on a pot of tea to brew.
“Chamomile or peppermint?” he asked. Raspberry was her favorite, unless she was upset. He knew that, and the simple memory of similar nights made her smile, if only for a second. Diamond and Em had been mama’s girls, but Ruby had always been closest to her father.
“Peppermint,” she answered without hesitation. Both were supposed to be calming, but peppermint always calmed her stomach, and it always hurt when she was upset.
“That bad, huh?”
“Daddy, I think Trevor and I are over.”
Her father was silent as he brewed the tea, and filled the cups, adding one lump of sugar to each, before carrying them over and placing the familiar dish in front of her. Her mother’s china. Finally, he came to sit beside her.
“I’ve heard that before.” His words were kind, not judgmental, and it was certainly true. It wasn’t the first time she had shown up on his doorstep late at night claiming she and Trevor were finished. They had been on again/off again for several years. When they finally got engaged, she had assumed that was over. She should have known better.
“He’s not right for me. I’ve been a fool, Daddy.”
Her father took a sip of his tea, and hummed softly, as he often did when choosing his words carefully. “It’s never foolish to know who you are and what you want and need out of life, be that in a friendship, a job, or a relationship.” He set his cup down and looked at her with wise eyes. “You’re not a fool, Roo. A creature of comfort, maybe. You wanted it to work out with Trevor because of the history, and the memories. Because you wouldn’t be who you are today without having known him. You were a big part of each other’s childhood and formative years. That’s not an easy thing to let go of. You had such a history together, and it was a good one. You guys were good together for a long time. But you’ve long since outgrown him, and that’s okay. It’s even okay that it took you so long to come to terms with it. At least you did it before you walked down the aisle.”
“You’ve felt this way, for a long time?” She stared at her father, recognizing the truth in his words, but confused at the same time. “But you gave him your blessing to propose? Would you have let me walk down the aisle? Knowing and thinking all of that?”
Her father shrugged. “It’s your life to live, Ruby. And Trevor was a good guy. He just wasn’t the one for you anymore. But for the record, I didn’t think that at the time he asked, no.”
“Oh, okay. Phew.”
“I feel like you’ve changed a lot this year. Can’t really put my finger on it exactly, but all I knew was that you seemed more confident in your own skin, more able to see the bigger picture in life, and more open to adventure outside the life you imagined for yourself, but you also seemed scared of those same things. I figured it was because you knew you couldn’t have those things and have Trevor too.”
“Yeah.”
“Trevor is a good guy, but he’s black and white, meat and potatoes. He doesn’t have your same zest for life.”
Ruby stirred her tea and laughed softly. “You’re so smart, Daddy. I wish I would have seen it sooner. Maybe it would have hurt less.”
“I think you’ve seen it all along. You just had to find the courage to accept it. Sometimes that’s the hardest part.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask what he really thought of Diamond and Pax, to ask if he would be disappointed if another one of his daughters chose the same lifestyle. If he saw her with a more dominant man. Her father was the quiet insightful type, and she doubted the question would surprise him, but she decided to save it for another day. Tonight, she’d just enjoy the moment. Being back in her childhood kitchen, drinking from her mother’s china and listening to her father speak words of wisdom over her life. It was her ultimate comfort zone, and as her father had said, she was a creature of comfort after all.
Chapter 13
Ruby was trying to pay attention as Mrs. Van Doyle changed her mind about the lamps for the bedroom for the tenth time that hour. Ruby had only sent two options this time, hoping that doing so would cut down some of the woman’s indecisiveness. It hadn’t.
Ruby wanted desperately to walk off the job, and take a vacation, somewhere far away, preferably on the other side of the continent, but this was currently her biggest account, and if Mrs. Van Doyle ended up happy, it could make Ruby’s reputation as an interior designer. The only problem with that, Ruby was learning, was that Mrs. Van Doyle was never happy. Actually, none of her clients ever were. But it wasn’t her. It was Hollywood.
“I’m just not sure the blue is the right shade of blue to complement my complexion,” Mrs. Van Doyle whined into the phone. The statement was so absurd that Ruby pulled the phone away from her ear and gaped at it. It was a fucking lamp! Why did it need to complement her complexion?
A dull ache began to pound behind her eyes and she dug in her desk drawer for her bottle of Excedrin, cursing inwardly when she found it to be empty. Of course it was. She had gotten a migraine every single day since this job had started, and the way things were going, she’d soon have an ulcer as well. When it took a whole day to make even the simplest decision, there was no end in sight.
Turning back to the phone, she saw that caller ID was alerting her to an incoming call, and that it was her sister Diamond. Praise be for her sister and her excellent timing.
“Sorry, Mrs. Van Doyle, I can’t talk now. Got an important call coming in, but I promise to think about your concerns. Talk to you soon. Bye. Muah.” She hit the button to end the call before she finished speaking.
“Thank god you called. You just saved my life.”
Diamond giggled on the other end of the line. “Mrs. Van Doyle again?”
“Girl, you don’t even know. That woman is going to send me to an early grave. I can’t even talk about it right now. For real.”
“Well, I just wanted to call and check in, and apologize for not being able to talk very much last night. Pax had just gotten home, and I had barely seen him all week, so his patience was a little thin. He didn’t want to share me a minute longer than nec
essary. He felt we had pressing matters to attend to.”
“Well, that sounds promising. Did you have fun?”
“Depends on your definition of fun, I suppose. But yes, I quite enjoyed myself.” Diamond giggled. “Shhh. Don’t tell Pax though. He’ll think he needs to make a stronger impression next time, and we can’t have that.”
“Oh surely not.”
Conversation stalled, and the thought that Ruby had been avoiding for days pushed its way to the forefront of her mind. “Hey, Di?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you think I’m fooling myself thinking that I want what you have? Like, do you think that I don’t have it in me to be submissive? That it’s just not who I am or what I really want? That the fantasy is great, but the reality for me is just not a thing?”
She could hear her sister’s soft sigh, as Diamond listened to her and gathered her thoughts before she responded. When Diamond spoke, it was just one word. “Trevor?”
“How did you know?”
“He has a tendency to say just the right thing to get in your head like that, and he likes to talk about things he has no understanding of.”
Ruby stifled a laugh. “Wow, Sis. Tell me how you really feel.”
“That wasn’t mean. I wasn’t attacking him or anything.”
“No, I know. It’s just I’ve been hearing a lot of really good insight about Trevor and me the last few days since we broke up, and it just surprises me. That you guys all saw these things, and didn’t say anything.”
“Oh. Well. I guess we didn’t need to. You weren’t blind to them, Ruby. It’s okay to love someone, faults and all. I guess we just thought that’s what you were doing, and who were we to interfere?”
“Oh.” Ruby fell quiet, and her sister let her. They each sat in silence, listening to nothing but the other’s breathing.
Finally, Diamond spoke. “Do you want me to answer your original question now?
“Yes, please.”
“Submission is a journey. Sure it comes more naturally to some people than others, but having to work at it isn’t a bad thing. Furthermore, submission isn’t something to throw around. It truly is a gift that you give to the right person, but furthermore, the right person can draw it out in you. So, yes I think you could absolutely have it in you. I don’t think you’re silly at all for wanting to have it, and I think that Trevor didn’t see you as a submissive being, because for one thing, he didn’t understand or deserve submission. And I think if you truly want that in a relationship, and you commit to embracing the journey, yes, certainly you could have what Pax and I have. Only better, because it will be the one that’s right for you. But don’t do what so many do, and be so eager to give such a gift that you give it to the wrong person.”
“That was beautiful, Di. And also, oddly reminiscent of Mom’s virginity speech.” When the words left her mouth, Ruby instantly wished she could swallow them up again. They never talked about their mother, not since the accident, not with Diamond. There was a moment of thick silence, as they both processed, and finally Diamond laughed.
Her laugh was soft and melodic, like wind chimes, another thing that reminded Ruby of their mother. “It was, wasn’t it? Well then, you know its wisdom, and it still applies.”
“Yes, sister dear,” Ruby teased, before growing serious. “Thank you.”
“Anytime. Feel better now?”
“I do, actually. I think I’ve been fighting a bit of sub frenzy since I left Vegas, but I’m going to push it away, and give myself time to decompress. Just because I know what I want doesn’t mean I have to have it tomorrow.”
“Good girl.” She could hear the teasing lilt in her sister’s voice, but still knew the praise was sincere. “Just remember, Ruby, things worth having don’t come easy.”
Pax found Diamond talking to the Tanners in the VIP area, and motioned her over.
“The demonstrator for tonight is stuck in traffic and still forty-five minutes out. I just got a page that there’s a problem at the bar. Can you round up Master Darius, or one of the usuals to do a quick demo or something, while I go check on the situation downstairs?”
“No problem, Sir,” she responded with a wink.
Pressing a quick kiss to her cheek, he patted her ass, and ran down the stairs. The night had barely begun and it was already shaping up to be one of those ones where everything that can go wrong does.
The bar was below and behind the VIP area, and the club was crowded with people. Tonight’s demonstration had brought in people from all over so, of course, Mistress Patty was running late.
As soon as he got to the bar he saw the problem, and why he had been called instead of security. Jase was slouched on a bar stool, leaning his whole upper half across the bar. “Lissen,” he slurred, pounding his hand on the wood for emphasis. “I’m here to see the show. But first, I brought a sub and we want to play, so I’m gonna need a key to one of the private rooms, a bottle of your best scotch, two glasses and the key. And put it on my tab.”
The bartender, Brinley rolled her eyes over the top of Jase’s head and sent Pax a frantic look. Jason had way too much to drink to be served again and more importantly, to be given a key to a private playroom. But Jase had VIP status here and turning him down was like turning down Pax himself. Nobody wanted to be the one to do it.
“Thanks, Brinley. I’ll take it from here.” With a sigh, Pax placed a hand on Jason’s shoulder and tried to get his attention. “Come on, buddy. You’ve had enough for tonight. Let’s get you home.”
Glaring at him belligerently, Jase shrugged his hand off and stood grabbing the bar for balance as he shoved his finger in Pax’s face. “Listen, dude!” he shouted drunkenly.” I don’t know who you think you are, but I am the owner’s best friend and he would want me to have what I want. And what I want is a drink. Two drinks. And a key to a room so my lady and I can have some fun, if you get my drift.”
Pax listened, shaking his head with a blank expression on his face. He had never seen Jase so bad off. The short blonde who had been hovering behind him, looking as if she wasn’t quite sure what she was getting herself into in a place like this, caught Pax’s eye, shook her head, and fled. He waited until she was out the door before turning his attention back to his friend.
He wasn’t going to be able to make Jase see reason when Jase didn’t even recognize him, so he stood behind him, grabbed his friend under the armpits and pulled him off the bar, basically dragging Jase in front of him as he turned to leave.
“Where’s Noah?” he asked, keeping Jase in a tight grasp.
The young woman blushed. “I think I saw him with Crystal earlier,” she replied, naming one of his best hostesses. “But don’t worry, it’s Crystal’s night off.”
“I thought Crystal was with… never mind. It doesn’t matter. Find Noah. Tell him I need him to cover the floor until I get back. It might be a while, because I’m not leaving him like this.”
“Roger that, Sir,” she responded, but he was already gone, dragging a barely conscious Jase with him.
There was no way he would get the man across the street and up to his executive suite in this condition. Jase was dead weight, no help at all, but at least he was not fighting at the moment. Pax made it out the front entrance of the club, and into the nearest elevator, hitting the floor for his own suite and swiping his keycard for access to the private floor.
As soon as the door was open, he dropped Jase onto the middle of his bed, and headed towards the coffee pot. Jase had been moody and disengaged for weeks, and Pax had been too busy to question it, but clearly his friend needed help. If it took all night, he was going to get answers.
On the bed, Jase stirred, squinting against the overhead light. Pax walked over to the dimmer, and turned it down to half, putting him out of his misery. Jase immediately shut his eyes, turned on his side, and curled into a fetal position.
Pax considered letting him sleep, and coming back in a few hours, but the potential for that to be the wro
ng decision was endless.
Pouring a cup of strong black coffee, he set it on the nightstand, and shook his friend gently, letting the aroma of the beans waft through the air and work their magic.
“C’mon, buddy. Let’s have some coffee and talk.”
One eye opened and Jase squinted at him in confusion. “Pax,” he mumbled. “Where’s my girl? Where is she? I need her.”
Relieved that his friend was at least lucid, Pax steeled himself for another drunken rant. “The blonde from downstairs? She bolted. I don’t think Rojo was quite her scene.”
“No, not her. The redhead. I love her.”
Staring at his friend, he considered the events of the past few weeks. The breath left him in a whoosh as clarity dawned. Ruby. Jase was talking about Ruby. He was going to need his own coffee for this he thought, plopping down on the oversized chair in the corner of the bedroom, as he stared at Jase, who was snoring once more. Coffee wasn’t going to cover it. He needed a stiff drink.
Jase awoke to heavy whispers, and the sound of a door rolling shut.
“You never made it back.”
“I know. Jase needed me. Did everything go okay?”
“Yes. Why is Jase asleep on our bed?”
“Because I can’t bring myself to wake him. We’ll sleep in the second bedroom tonight.”
Pax and Diamond, he thought as he recognized the voices. He didn’t want to put them out of their bed for the night, and honestly, he wasn’t even sure why he was apparently in their suite, or how he had gotten there, but he wouldn’t stay. He stood up quickly, and the room spun under his feet. Taking a second to get his balance, he pulled the bedroom door open, and found them standing outside it, still whispering.
“I’m not sure what happened, but thank you for taking care of me I assume. I’m fine now, I’m going home.” Even he noticed he was swaying as he spoke. Pax shot Diamond a look, and she went into the bedroom without a word, shutting the door behind her.
Pax grabbed his arm, and held him steady. “You’re not going anywhere, Jase. You’ll sleep here tonight in the spare room, but for now, coffee, water and aspirin are the ticket. And we’ll talk.”
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