The woman was stark raving mad. It was the only explanation for such idiocy.
“Me act foolishly?” he managed to choke. “You snuck onto a bloody ship dressed as a man,” he felt compelled to point out.
Her eyes flashed dangerously, and a flush stained her cheeks.
With her hair tumbling round her shoulders, she looked like a woman in the throes of passion, and it was enough to make him want to jump overboard just to cool off.
“Yes, I did.” She sniffed. “And it is done now. So, you can either be reasonable and hear me out, or you can rush into doing something that will not benefit either of us.”
His curiosity was piqued, he had to admit. But only to himself. He wouldn’t give an inch with the little harridan standing in his rooms.
“What has gotten into you these past few days? Coming here. Dressing like that?” He waved his hand toward the clothes which should have looked ridiculous but instead caused an ever-building hunger to burn inside him.
Her lip curled in a sneer at his words, and he was taken aback by the anger in her expression.
“As I recall, you seem rather fond of women who wear disguises. Why, you practically fall all over Gabby when you see her. And even Evie. I do wonder as to why it is so shocking for me to do the same.”
Good God. Was she jealous?
The thought was intriguing, pleasing even. Though he wished it were not.
“Those ladies are rather less concerned with convention and propriety than you, Anna,” he stated, thinking that should have been obvious. He wouldn’t add that, although he cared a great deal about those women, the thought of them being in any sort of danger or situation that could hurt them didn’t cause a staggering and extremely unwelcome pain to lance him.
Strangely, she looked hurt by his words.
“You don’t know that,” she retorted. “You presume to know, but—”
“Why else would you have married that bastard, Grant, if not because you were more concerned with money and stature and propriety than anything else?”
She flinched, and he remained mutinously unmoved.
“Evelyn and Gabrielle would never do such a thing. They chose love.” He drove the point home.
“Evelyn fell in love with a viscount, who became an earl, Lucas. And Gabby with a Spencer. They never had to choose.”
It was Lucas’ turn to flinch.
God, but she had the power to hurt him with her tongue. Worse, he’d still infinitely prefer her to do other things with it.
And that angered him, too.
His head was pounding, his heart racing.
He’d had quite enough of Anna Spencer and the control she’d had over him since he’d been a green lad.
“You have no wish to turn this ship around, and I have no wish to return to a shell of a life. If you can start over somewhere new, then so can I. Money isn’t a problem. I can pay you for my passage. I shan’t get in your way, and I shall keep to myself. So, what’s it to be?”
The offer of money galled him more than anything else.
“I don’t need your damned money,” he said through clenched teeth, and the sardonic rise of her brow finally tipped him over the edge.
He felt like he hated her and wanted her desperately at the same time.
But her audacity and her condescension were enough to send him to Bedlam. By God, she needed taking down a peg or two.
Here he was, worrying about her reputation and safety, and she was treating him like a beggar who would be eternally grateful for some coin.
Well, if she didn’t give a damn about her reputation—
And then it struck him.
All these years, he had worked his fingers to the bone, climbed his way to a position of power and respectability. And he’d done it, he knew deep down in his soul, for her.
Still she saw him as less. Still he wasn’t good enough.
She and her father had very nearly ended his life, literally as well as figuratively, and now she stood here asking something of him?
Lucas needed to exorcise the demon of Anna Spencer once and for all.
And here was the perfect opportunity.
She had led him on all those years ago, feigning love for him then sending her father and his henchmen to beat him to a bloody pulp and dump him at the docks, half dead and alone.
He hadn’t been able to let go of the past for one reason. He hadn’t had his vengeance. He hadn’t gotten his revenge.
Well, now he would.
And what better way to do so than by breaking her heart as she had his? He would adopt the Spencer way of thinking.
He would take what he wanted and walk away without a care in the world.
He’d always wanted Anna Spencer more than any other woman of his acquaintance.
Well, now he would have her. Then he would walk away, leave her confused and alone, to make her own way in the world. Just as she had done to him.
For the first time since they’d set off, Lucas felt calm and in control.
He had come a long way from the boy he once was. And he would have his revenge.
CHAPTER TWELVE
ANNA SAW THE sudden change in Lucas, though she had no idea what inspired it, or what it was really. Only that he’d gone from furious to… not.
Not was good.
Not meant she might be allowed to stay aboard the ship.
“A-are you well?” she asked, because he continued to stare at her, and whilst it made her a little nervous, it also caused a tingly sort of excitement to thrum through her veins.
And that wouldn’t do at all.
The man clearly despised her. So she couldn’t go hurtling back into love with him. That would be folly indeed.
He’d allowed her to wash and fill her belly, but that didn’t mean that he cared one iota for her. It just meant he wasn’t cruel. And she’d already known that.
Finally, he spoke.
“You do realise the risk you’ve taken by doing this, Anna?”
Lucas began to walk slowly toward her. Prowl really. And she had the oddest urge to both back away and throw herself at him all at the same time. So she stood perfectly still, which seemed like a good compromise.
“Yes, I do,” she said defiantly, though the quiver in her voice no doubt gave her away.
The atmosphere in the room was changing. She could sense it.
“And what do you plan on doing once we’ve reached our destination?”
Lucas stopped close enough to her that she could breathe in the scent of him; it was spicy and masculine and enough to make her knees positively weak.
“Wh-what do you mean?” she asked, losing her concentration.
My, he is big.
All broad shoulders and solid chest. It was enough to make a woman dizzy.
“Well, when we get to Barbados, what do you plan on doing?”
The boat rocked suddenly, and Anna stumbled a little.
Lucas’ hands shot out and steadied her, and it felt as though her very skin caught fire at the contact.
Anna couldn’t have moved if her life had depended on it.
All she could do was stand and stare at him and hope that he would lower his head and press his lips to hers.
Now where did that come from?
Perhaps something of what she felt showed on her face, for Lucas dropped his hands and stepped back.
“You must be exhausted,” he said. “Sit back down and have some more tea.” He moved to the chair she’d abandoned, then righted it and held it for her to sit.
His behaviour was everything gentlemanly, and even kind.
Anna was confused at the sudden turn around, but grateful for it nonetheless.
She sat and watched in some amazement as he poured for her then fixed a drink for himself.
He returned to take the seat opposite her at the small table.
The silence stretched between them, and Anna scrambled for something to break it.
“Your quarters are larger than I ex
pected them to be,” she blurted out inanely. It was the truth but hardly significant.
Lucas cast an eye around the room, and Anna followed suit.
It was large and decorated beautifully with mahogany furniture and plush carpets. It was quite luxurious for a room on a ship.
“Yes, well, I spend a lot of my time in here when we’re sailing,” he answered evenly, and Anna was relieved that they were to have a civil, somewhat normal conversation. “I wanted it to be comfortable. Though I wasn’t expecting a guest.”
His smile stole her breath away even as his words registered.
Anna looked once more around the room. It was spacious, but not huge.
There was his desk with all sorts of paraphernalia that she didn’t recognise but was sure must be to do with sailing.
Then there was the cushioned bench that ran along the wall where two portholes let in, at this time, the light from the stars and moon above.
In the middle of the room were the table and chairs they were currently occupying, and the opposite wall held one good-sized bunk. One, as in singular.
“When you say guest—” She had to stop and clear her throat before she could continue, since her voice came out raspy and hoarse. “—do you mean for now? For tea?”
Lucas smiled again, but this time it was positively wolfish.
“No, Anna. I mean my guest for the duration of our voyage. Where else do you plan on sleeping?”
LUCAS WAS BEGINNING to enjoy himself.
He watched as her delectable mouth dropped open in surprise.
And he was free to find it delectable now, since he planned to have an affair with her.
“B-but,” she stuttered, her cheeks flaming. “I cannot stay in here with you.”
“And where else do you plan on staying, Anna? With the crew?”
“I-I hadn’t thought—”
“Yes, I’m quite sure there is a lot you haven’t thought about.”
He watched her eyes narrow, so he adjusted his tone.
He didn’t want to anger her.
He wanted to bed her.
“Anna…” He leaned forward now and dropped the act. Much as he was looking forward to exacting some revenge, he didn’t want to see anything serious happen to her, for reasons he refused to examine. She needed to understand the precariousness of her situation so that he could keep her safe.
“Yes?” she asked breathlessly and it took herculean strength not to drag her onto his lap and ravish her.
“You are on a ship full of men who will be starved of female company. I can vouch for my officers but not every member of the crew, I’m afraid to say. And there is one man whom I haven’t even met.”
He watched her brow crease and realised that she didn’t understand what he was telling her.
How could she be widowed and still so innocent?
“It is best that you stay with me. I can protect you from the risk of anything… unpleasant. And hopefully preserve even a tiny measure of reputation in the process.”
Here, she emitted a very unladylike snort.
“If I cared a whit about reputation, I wouldn’t be here in the first place,” she argued. “You told me that people are more forgiving elsewhere. And as to unpleasantness… well, I expected there to be some. It is a ship in the middle of the ocean after all, and…” She trailed off and her eyes widened, even as her cheeks paled. “Oh.”
One word, but he was convinced that she finally understood.
“I do not want you to be afraid,” Lucas leaned across and clasped her hand. “I just need you to understand that if you are to remain on this ship, you must do as I say, and you must allow me to keep you safe by whatever means I feel necessary.”
“And staying in your cabin is necessary?”
“Yes, it is.”
He watched her face closely as a myriad of emotions flitted across it.
Suddenly, she brightened, and her grin caused his heart to thump faster.
“So, I can stay?”
She sounded so hopeful, so excited, like a child at Christmastide, and Lucas felt a momentary pang of guilt at what he planned to do.
But he ruthlessly pushed such thoughts away.
He wouldn’t harm her. And he would keep her happy, and safe.
But he would also make her know what it felt like to fall desperately in love with someone then have them leave without a care.
She wanted to make it alone somewhere new, and alone she would be.
For now, though, he would be all that was charming and courteous.
So he smiled indulgently. “Yes,” he said, “you can stay.”
“Oh, thank you, Lucas!” she exclaimed. “I promise I won’t get in your way.”
“Well, we shall have a few details to iron out,” he warned. “What to tell the crew, for example.”
“Yes,” she agreed enthusiastically. “Whatever you think. Oh, and where I should sleep.”
“You’ll sleep in the bunk,” he said smoothly, watching her reaction closely.
“Oh,” she seemed confused. So damned innocent. “But where will you sleep?”
Lucas allowed himself a smile.
“In the bunk.”
ANNA’S HEART SEEMED to stop for so long she thought she would die on the spot.
Thankfully, the organ started again, though it was currently racing.
Lucas was looking at her with the most sinful smile on his face, his eyes glinting with humour and something that made the temperature in the room soar.
Being a Society widow, Anna supposed she should be worldly and sophisticated, used to such scandalous things.
But she wasn’t.
Peter had mercifully tired of her after only a few months of selfishly and cruelly using her body, claiming that she was too frigid and cold for him to want her. He took great delight in flaunting his mistresses, and Anna took delight in him doing so, for it meant he expected nothing from her.
So her experience wasn’t much more than that of a debutante, really.
She could feel her cheeks burning but could do nothing to help it.
His words had rendered her speechless and had awoken in her feelings that were both unfamiliar and dangerously exciting.
Trying desperately to seem nonchalant about it, Anna cleared her throat, searching to think of a way to refuse to sleep beside him while sounding like she wasn’t particularly bothered either way.
“I hardly think that is necessary, Lucas,” she tittered, but even she heard the hysterical edge to the laugh. “I appreciate that you are willing to protect me for the duration of the voyage, but surely us sleeping in the s-same bed isn’t necessary.”
Her voice had descended to a trembling wreck.
“There are no other quarters available, unless, as I said, you stay with the crew. Would that be preferable?”
He seemed so nonchalant, so blasé about the whole thing, while she was a nervous wreck.
“No,” she admitted.
“Besides,” Lucas continued, “Although the West Indies are more forgiving than England, the expatriate community there is still given to adhere to the rules of British Society and all the censure therein. If you wish to ever make a life there, you will need at least the pretence of respectability.”
“And sharing a bed with you is to do that?” she snapped, feeling thoroughly cornered now.
How could he be so unmoved? It was rather insulting, really.
And how was she to retain respectability by sleeping in a single man’s bed for four months?
“No, it won’t. But in my experience, sailors talk as much as any household staff, and probably more. The tale of your escapade will spread before you’ve even set foot on dry land.”
Anna stifled the growing panic. She would not allow herself to think she’d made a terrible mistake.
“Then what should I—”
Lucas stood, suddenly holding out his hand to help her from her own seat.
Tentatively she grasped it, unprepared f
or the jolt that ran through her at the contact.
“Which is why…” he continued as though she hadn’t spoken.
His thumb began to stroke her wrist is slow, soft circles, and Anna was very nearly a puddle at his feet.
“…you and I will inform the crew tomorrow that you are my betrothed.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
LUCAS WATCHED ANNA’S face and saw the moment his words registered.
Her jaw dropped, her eyes widened, and her breath hitched.
“We will what?” she gasped.
“Announce our betrothal,” he repeated calmly as though his heart weren’t pounding in his chest.
It was rather brilliant; he congratulated himself.
She would believe that he was trying to protect her as much as he could. What he was actually doing was keeping her close so that his planned seduction would go smoothly.
Maybe, when he had shown her just how much a person could be destroyed by another, he could move on with his life and not be haunted by her and the memory of what might have been.
“But—but—” her eyes were darting about as though looking for an escape from this conversation “—we aren’t betrothed.”
“Anymore.”
He could have kicked himself, but the word slipped out without him even realising it.
It did, however, bring an end to her stuttering as her eyes flashed back to his.
She opened her mouth, and Lucas tensed, ready to feign nonchalance at whatever words she would cut him with.
But after a pause, she shook her head slightly, looking both sad and resigned.
“As you said, the past is the past. We are both sailing to new lives. Perhaps we should leave everything that happened back in England.”
She would love that; he was sure. To forget the hurt she’d caused, to forget the callousness of her actions.
“Yes, perhaps we should,” he agreed with a smile. “Now, I think you’ve had enough excitement for today.”
Anna nodded her agreement, but her eyes glanced to the bunk then lowered, her cheeks flaming.
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