Can I really give it all up?
The best answer was no answer, until he got his affairs in order. So he stayed quiet.
Jonathan studied him for a moment longer but shrugged as though he didn’t care about the answer or at least was willing to accept that Lucas didn’t want to answer it right then.
“What happened on that ship?” he finally asked.
Even Andrew quietened, his head lifting to stare at Lucas, seeming just as interested in the answer.
Lucas’ cravat suddenly felt like a noose.
He wasn’t sure if he should lie or just blurt out the truth.
Finally, he squared his shoulders. “Do you really want to know the answer to that?” he asked.
Jonathan’s jaw clenched, but after a moment, he relented.
“Let’s have that drink,” he said, much to Andrew’s delight.
ANNA AWOKE IN a strange but vastly comfortable bed.
For a moment she was completely disorientated, until the memories came flooding back.
She sat up with a start, her heart hammering as she looked wildly around the room. She didn’t recognise it.
Where am I?
Anna took in the pale golden wall covering, the white satin bedding, the plush golden rugs adorning the floor. It was a beautiful room.
She remembered Lucas coming to her rescue, along with Jon and Andrew, of all people.
And she remembered being enclosed in his arms as they rode to safety.
She must have fallen asleep.
And this must be Lucas’ house.
The door opened, and Anna’s eyes darted to it.
But it wasn’t Lucas; it was Gabrielle.
“Ah, you’re awake,” Gabby said with a smile, coming and seating herself on the chair by Anna’s bed.
“Have I been asleep for long?”
“Hours! The men have locked themselves away. I listened for gunshots, but nothing.”
It could have been Anna’s imagination, but Gabby seemed to sound a little disappointed.
“I suppose I was more tired than I thought,” Anna said now, her fingers plucking at the coverlet.
Gabby studied her, her big brown eyes narrowed slightly, before she leaned forward and spoke in hushed tones. “I find myself dreadfully tired, too. Though I do recall Evelyn saying that it passes after three months or so.”
It took a moment for the words to register, and when they did, Anna’s breath froze in her lungs.
“You mean?” she gasped, and Gabby nodded, an elated smile lighting her face.
“Oh, Gabby,” Anna choked, her eyes filling with tears as she leaned over to hug her new sister. “I am so very, very happy. Forgive the tears. I’ve turned into a veritable watering pot.”
She pulled back to see tears also glittering in Gabby’s eyes.
“As have I,” she sniffed. “But I believe that is to be expected, too.”
Anna smiled fondly at this beautiful woman who had brought such joy to their family.
“I’m surprised Jon hasn’t been shouting the news from the rooftops,” Anna said indulgently.
“We didn’t think it would be appropriate to celebrate, until we knew you were well.”
Guilt slammed into Anna at Gabby’s words. Her actions had overshadowed the best news of Jonathan’s life.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled miserably.
“Don’t be,” Gabby answered quickly. “I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed this adventure. Ever since we retired, and especially since we found out about the babe, Jonathan’s been acting as though I’m made of china. It’s most annoying.”
Anna grinned at Gabby’s cross expression. “I’m surprised he didn’t insist that you stay behind with Evie.”
Gabby raised a brow, her expression imperious and terribly Gallic. “He tried,” she said. “And he won’t try it again. Besides, Evelyn would have loved to come. But William couldn’t have made the journey, and there’s no way she’d have left him.”
Gabby continued to chatter about her pregnancy, and Evelyn’s, and William, too, and as much as Anna enjoyed hearing it, she became more and more maudlin.
Finally, even Gabby noticed it. “Anna, what’s the matter, dear?”
Anna sniffed, trying to smile. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she waved her hand at her eyes. “I just — oh, I missed you all so much. And to hear you talk of the babies, of William, and all your plans. I’ll miss it all. All of it.”
Anna was crying in earnest now.
Gabby stood and moved to sit on the bed, gathering her sister-in-law into her arms like a protective mother.
“You don’t have to miss any of it, dearest,” she said soothingly. “You can come straight back with us and be with us always. It’s what we all want.”
Anna dried her eyes and straightened up. In some ways, it would be easy to agree with Gabby, to go back to the familiar and continue the life she knew.
But in other, far more vital ways, it would destroy her completely.
She couldn’t live a life without Lucas. Not now when they’d rediscovered their love for each other.
Even now, she missed him.
“I can’t do that, Gabby,” she said softly, imploring the other woman to understand. “I cannot live a happy life without him.”
Gabby looked set to argue, and Anna reached out a hand to her.
“Could you live without Jonathan?” she asked gently.
She saw the answer in Gabby’s eyes before the woman conceded and shook her head.
“Well,” Gabby said brightly after a moment of silence. “We can always visit.”
Anna smiled, but there was a sadness to it.
They both knew that visits would likely be years apart, if at all.
They both knew what Anna would be saying goodbye to.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
ANNA COULDN’T QUITE believe the time had come for Jon, Gabby, and Andrew to head back home.
Worse still, she couldn’t believe that Lucas hadn’t accompanied them to the dock.
He must know how difficult this would be for her.
The last few days having everyone together had been marvellous. Lucas had been as attentive as having Jonathan around would allow him to be in the beginning. But over the last couple of days, she’d barely seen him. And when he had been near, he’d been tense and anxious-looking.
And it was impossible to get him alone to ask him what was troubling him.
But she missed his arms around her, his lips taking her own, his body—
“Anna?”
Anna flushed and turned to Gabby, who had obviously been trying to get her attention.
“Sorry, Gabby,” she said with a smile, feeling her cheeks heat. “I was just thinking of—”
“I can imagine, thank you,” Gabby grinned cheekily. “But it does look as though we are set to board our ship.”
Anna’s throat tightened, and her stomach fluttered uncomfortably at Gabby’s word.
This is it.
She had suspected that her family would follow her, and she had been so very pleased to see them. But this goodbye would be impossibly difficult.
“Lucas isn’t here yet,” she said tightly, the lump in her throat making it nearly impossible to speak.
She looked around at the dear faces of her family. Andrew and Jonathan looked grim, Jonathan blinking furiously over suspiciously watery eyes.
Gabby, who had recently been terribly emotional, was now crying openly.
Soon, Anna was joining her. She clasped Gabby to her in a fierce grip.
“I cannot wait to hear news of my niece or nephew,” Anna sobbed.
By the time she received news, the babe would no longer be a newborn.
The ladies hugged for an age, until Gabby finally pulled back.
Andrew stepped forward and lifted Anna from her feet in as tight a hug as he could manage. “My wife will kill me for not returning with you,” the handsome earl warned.
Anna laughed through her tears
. “I am sure she’ll forgive you eventually.”
Finally, Jonathan approached. He merely gazed at her for a moment, before wrapping her in a warm hug.
“You don’t have to stay here, Anna. I know you don’t want to.”
Anna pulled back slightly so that Jonathan could see the truth in her eyes.
“I want to be where he is,” she said confidently, even as the tears continued to fall.
“How can I leave you with him, when he’s not even here to support you?” Jonathan growled.
Anna’s heart thumped painfully at his words. She was disappointed, too. Lucas was usually so attentive to her.
Before she could think of an excuse for his behaviour, a voice sounded behind her.
“As captain of the ship you’re about to board, I must insist that you hurry. Punctuality is key to good sailing.”
Anna whipped round, and there, standing, smiling down at her, was Lucas.
Anna’s heart was pounding. Did he just say—
“Wh-what do you mean?” she asked.
Before he answered, he turned and waved a hand, and Sanderson, along with the girl who’d been serving as Anna’s lady’s maid came forward carrying bags and instructing men carrying more.
Sanderson gave Anna a wide grin as he passed.
“What’s going on?” Anna asked.
“We’re going home,” Lucas said simply.
Anna could only stare at him.
“Anna,” he said now, moving toward her and dropping his voice.
He frowned as Jonathan, Andrew, and Gabrielle all stepped closer, too, obviously listening avidly.
“I’m no poet or great writer. I wasn’t educated at Eton or Oxford, so it’s impossible for me to express just how deeply I love you.”
Anna’s eyes filled all over again, but she was smiling as her heart soared at his words.
“I realised over the last couple of days that my reasons for wanting to live here were all wrong. I didn’t want to leave England because I don’t like it. I was leaving because I was trying to run from you and the feelings I still have for you.”
He grasped both her hands in his.
“Of course, you turning up on my boat rather scuppered that idea,” he said with a grin, and Anna blushed at the heat in his gaze.
“You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. And you love your family so much. I can’t take that from you. I cannot ask you to give that up.”
“But I would,” Anna insisted. “I will.”
“I know, sweetheart, and I love you even more for it. But I can’t have my happiness by sacrificing yours. And I will live wherever you are, as long as I get to be with you.”
His words were so beautiful.
Who needs poetry and flowery prose? This is perfect.
Behind her, Gabby sighed wistfully then sniffed, and Anna imagined that her emotions were getting the better of her again.
“But everything you’ve worked for, Lucas…” Anna argued. “Everything you’ve built… everything that matters to you… It’s here.”
“Nothing matters more than you,” he answered immediately. “I’ve been insanely busy these past couple of days, putting things into place, changing plans. Turns out, Hastings has grown rather fond of the place and is happy to stay here. And I will have more than enough to keep me busy running things in London.”
Anna couldn’t quite believe what he was saying. “Are you sure?” she asked breathlessly.
Lucas bent his forehead until it was touching her own.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” he said hoarsely. “You are my world, Anna. And your family is part of your world, which makes them part of mine.”
Anna’s heart turned over with sheer, unadulterated joy.
Can this really be happening?
“I love you so much,” she told him, before she pulled him into a blazing kiss that had Jonathan sounding as though he were choking on something.
Andrew helpfully thumped him on the back, and the two of them made their way onto the ship with Gabby following them, scolding the pair.
Lucas pulled Anna back to stand beside him when she went to follow.
“I’ve brought along a lady’s maid as you can see,” he said wryly. “And more than two dresses.”
Anna grinned happily. “I suppose I shan’t be able to help Frank any longer, unless I want to give my brother a heart attack.”
“Sweetheart, the stories I could tell you about your brother.”
Anna’s eyes widened and Lucas laughed.
“No, I won’t tell. But let’s just say he’s in no position to worry about the impropriety of you helping to cook a few meals. Besides,” he continued, turning her to face him fully, “you are soon to be my wife, and I rather like the idea of you getting your hands dirty.”
The hands he spoke of snaked up to wrap around his neck.
“I should have hoped you would have other occupations in mind for my hands,” she whispered and was thrilled by his answering groan.
“Even I couldn’t get that past your brother,” he said as he bent to trail hot kisses along her jaw and her neck, uncaring that they were in full view of almost the entire crew, “much as I’d like to.”
“Ah, but you forget, Captain,” Anna answered, feeling lighter than she had in years. “It’s a terribly big ship. And I know all the best hiding places.”
Lucas’ laugh rang out across the busy port as they turned and made their way on board the ship that would sail them home. And what a home they would build, full of love, and forever.
EPILOGUE
“IF YOU CAN sneak onto a ship, I don’t see why I can’t climb a tree.”
Anna tried not to grin at the pout adorning the face of her daughter. At five years old, Amelia was desperate to imitate her older brother and her cousins.
“Who told you I snuck onto a ship?” Anna asked.
“Papa,” Amelia answered triumphantly.
Anna sighed. She had spoken repeatedly to Lucas about allowing himself to be wrapped around the finger of his little girl.
It was no use.
“I can’t help it,” he would argue. “She is a mirror image of her mother, and you know I cannot tell you no either,” he would say with a disarming smile, and Anna would forget why she was angry in the first place.
“No climbing trees,” Anna said now, choosing not to have the conversation about the ship just yet. “Not until you’re at least seven, like Jacob and George.”
“Uncle Jon lets Jacob do anything he wants,” Amelia sulked. “And Philip. And David. Just ‘acause they’re boys.”
“Perhaps,” Anna conceded. “But Aunt Gabby doesn’t.”
The sound of a carriage approaching distracted the little terror.
“William and Meg are here,” she gasped and ran flat out toward the front of the house. “And Uncle Drew said he would bring a puppy,” she cried over her shoulder.
Anna sighed again and gave her daughter up as a lost cause.
She had an adventurous spirit, that was for sure.
All of their children did.
The family was gathering at Lucas and Anna’s estate in Kent this year for Michaelmas and staying through Christmas.
Amelia and her older brother George had been a great help in decorating the house for the occasion.
Anna was just rounding the house to greet Andrew and Evelyn and their children, when a hand reached out and grabbed her about the waist.
“Do I get to steal a moment alone with my wife before the celebrations begin?” Lucas asked against her neck, and the familiar shiver ran through Anna. Even after all this time.
“Yes,” she replied swiftly. “And you can tell me how you came to tell our daughter about me sneaking onto your ship.”
Lucas froze then raised his head with a muffled oath. “Well,” he said as he stepped beside her and clasped her hand. “It would, but it would be terribly rude to keep our guests waiting, don’t you think?”
Anna couldn’t help but laugh.
He was incorrigible.
“I’ll deal with you later,” she warned.
“I look forward to it,” he retorted with a wink.
Shaking her head, Anna rushed forward to where Jonathan and Gabby were already greeting Evelyn and Andrew.
The children were all running about with the promised puppy yapping at their heels.
Anna breathed deeply, feeling utterly content.
This, she thought, was what true happiness was. And she was lucky to have it.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
NADINE MILLARD is a writer hailing from Dublin, Ireland. Having studied law then worked in the legal industry for years, Nadine revisited her passion for writing when she became a stay at home mom to her three children. When she’s not writing, she’s reading, coaching, running around after the children, the dog and the cat and drinking far more coffee than should be humanly possible.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I NEED TO thank my friends, family and readers for their continued and constant support. I appreciate you more than I could ever express. Thank you to everyone at Blue Tulip Publishing for allowing me to share my stories with the world.
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