She starts crying in earnest, and to my surprise shifts over towards me, “Kadar, my best friend, is out there, disabled for life and it’s all my fault! And I don’t even know how she’s doing!” I put my arm around her, hugging her close. It’s a non-sexual contact; we can both feel that, and something she badly needs at this point.
“Does she need protection now?” I’ll do anything I can to take away her pain.
“I don’t know!” The frustration is pouring out of her. “When I finally escaped, I met a man who helped me, and I desperately need to discover whether Ethan got to him too. But, there was this mountain of a man, and Josh—the one who helped me—sent him to make sure Sophie was okay. And then there’s Ida as well who sheltered me. I need to find out, Kadar, but I don’t know how! I worry every day that he might be hurting someone close to me to get me back. I don’t know how to find out if they’re safe!” she ends on a wail.
I pull her even tighter into me. “I do,” I tell her firmly, a plan already forming in my mind, “Tomorrow you give me all the details I need to get them traced, and we’ll find out. Your mother, too. You’ll be able to talk to them very soon. I promise you. And if they need protection then I’ll arrange it.” With my free hand, I tilt her face up, forcing her to look into my eyes. “You’re not alone now, habiti. Lean on me.”
Chapter 20
Zoe
You’re not alone! Lean on me! I go so still, for a moment. Letting out the breath, I hadn’t even realised I’d been holding as a long sigh, I hear his words echoing through me. I’m no longer the innocent girl who takes things at face value.
“Why would you want to help me? You’ve given me a job, brought me out of Ethan’s reach. Why go out of your way to do more?” I know I sound ungrateful and suspicious, but it’s important to protect myself better than I did last time. Ethan seemed so plausible at first, so excellent at acting a role he should have had an actor’s Union card. Why should Kadar be any different?
I shudder. I can’t deny my physical attraction to the emir, that his closeness arouses me, but his dominance scares me. The talks we’ve had here, in the harem, have brought us closer as friends, but if I accept any more of his help, then I’ll become dependent on another man. And what might he ask of me in return?
It’s as if he’s able to read me, as I go to pull away he holds me a second longer and then releases me. “No strings, Zee. I promise you.”
I can’t believe him, can I? All the damage Ethan caused to my self-esteem no longer allows me to take anything at face value. “Kadar!” The plea is wrenched from me, “Be honest with me. What do you want from me?”
“Be honest? You want me to be honest?” The moon has risen so I can see his features clearly; his face twists as though he’s tortured. He drags his hand over his shortly cropped hair. I wish I could do that!
“You want honesty? Zee, I’m trying to be honourable here. I’ve told you my situation, I can’t take this any further, it’s not fair to start anything with you when I’ve got commitments to fulfil. But honestly? Zee, you’re a beautiful woman. No,” he shakes his head at my quick denial, “Believe it’s the truth. You’re beautiful, inside and out. It’s so fucking hard to control myself around you when all I want to do is to hold you, touch you, kiss you. The things I want to do to you.” Now he puts both hands on his head and sweeps them down. “Fuck, I don’t even know if you have the same feelings for me, and I don’t want to fucking know. The only principled thing I can offer you is my friendship. And friends look after each other. Let me help you, Zee. Let me in. In some small way, in the only way I can, let me be part of your life.”
****
Two days have passed since that night in the harem and Kadar’s impassioned declaration. Forty-eight hours where I’ve tried to come to terms with the fact that Kadar admitted he wants me as much as I want him. And the unfairness of it all that there is, even if I could summon up the courage, there’s nothing we can do about it. I’ve taken to leaving the harem early each evening, not sure what to say to him if he tries to see me again, and I believe he’s feeling awkward to as neither does he seek me out. He’s offered me friendship, but it’s only a cloak, and underneath both of us want more than that.
To avoid meeting him, I wrote the information he’d requested on my friends and mother in a note Asif promised to deliver. I couldn’t trust myself to give it to him personally. If I see him, now knowing how he feels, it would be all too easy to do something I might regret. So I spend my time immersed in the details of the restoration, wanting to create something to the best of my ability as a substitute for my affection. When I’m long gone, something will be left of me here in his palace. Part of myself.
I sit so engrossed in sketching out my latest ideas for the harem garden that when Asif appears with the summons to the emir’s office, it comes as a surprise. My gut clenches at the thought of seeing Kadar again, seeing the man I’m having great difficulty putting out of my mind. But an invitation from the emir is impossible to ignore. And the thought of meeting him in his official office, away from our special place is daunting.
In the magical atmosphere of the harem anything seems possible, but in the cold light of day, I wonder how I could even think of accepting something even as simple as an innocent friendship from such a great man. He’s got a whole country to run; he’s no time to be my friend. Thanks to Ethan I’m used to mingling with moneyed people and the rich and famous, but I never fitted into that world, my social ineptitude always an opportunity for ‘correction.’ Kadar is royalty, and that’s a whole different level again. As I walk the corridors almost with trepidation, I become nervous. Why has he asked to see me?
The emir’s assistant rises as Asif brings me to the antechamber. With a smile, I recognise Richard, the man I’d met at the embassy in London. Having acknowledged my presence with a nod, Richard then goes over to knock on a large ornate door, opens it, and then waves me straight in and makes a brief introduction. “Zoe Baker, Your Excellency!”
Kadar steps forward and takes my hands in his, “Welcome, Zoe. Come in and have a seat.” He uses my proper name, not the pet name he gave me. It’s a greeting for a friend and appropriate for a formal meeting. With those words and the welcoming expression on his face he simultaneously puts me at ease while causing my heart to beat faster. I’d almost convinced myself I could ignore the effect he had on me. I was wrong.
As he leads me over to a conference table next to the windows, I notice there’s already a man sitting there. I look quizzically at Kadar, waiting for an introduction. He doesn’t disappoint.
“This is Zoe Baker,” Kadar addresses the stranger before turning to me, “And Zoe, let me introduce you to Ben Carter. He’s the senior partner of Grade A Security based in England.”
The man introduced as Ben gets to his feet and reaches out his hand. As I shake it, I realise this must be Sean’s boss. His grip is firm, his hand dry and when I glance at his face I see a confident, handsome man in his early forties. He releases my hand but cocks his head to one side as though assessing me.
“Come, let us sit. Ben, would you like to update Zoe on what you’ve discovered?” Kadar interrupts our greeting.
The conference table is large, but the three of us just use one end. It’s comfortable as there’s sufficient space between us so as not to be cramped, but on the other hand, intimate enough for a serious conversation. Kadar sits at the head with Ben opposite him. I watch as the man from Grade A opens his laptop, taking a moment to log into his systems before he starts to speak, first clearing his throat with a small cough.
His eyes flick towards Kadar, then back to his screen, finally settling on me. “After you left St John-Davies, Zoe, all hell broke loose. You covered your tracks extremely well, and I must say I’m very impressed. I think you could teach my people a thing or two about how keeping a low profile.”
I shrug, brushing off the compliment which I’m certain is an exaggeration. “It was simply a matter of survival. And b
y then I knew what resources Ethan has at his disposal. After my first attempt, he’d boast and list the various ways he could have caught up with me. Unwittingly he helped me to escape by telling me what to avoid.”
Ben nods, “Know thy enemy, as they say. It obviously worked for you, Zoe. He’s a very powerful man, with powerful connections. And heaven knows the systems he’s able to hack into as his company is one of the primary security system suppliers in the UK.”
“That’s why I avoided CCTV cameras like the plague.”
“You did well.” He smiles at me appreciatively, but I don’t take it as praise. If he’d caught up with me, I knew Ethan wouldn’t risk me running a third time, but still his approval gives me a warm feeling.
He glances at me curiously, “Did Ethan ever mention any previous girlfriend to you, Zoe?” As he asks the question, he calls up something on his laptop.
I think for a moment, my brow creasing. “No, in fact, we avoided the subject of any prior relationships. Neither of us were virgins. I suppose I didn’t want to know, and neither did he.”
Ben turns the laptop around to face me. Kadar leans across so he can see it too. On the screen is a picture of a pretty girl, not unlike myself. She has blonde hair, nearly the same shade but slightly longer than mine and her complexion is also fair. Her eyes are blue, just like my own. She’s smiling at the camera as if she’s happy to be having her photo taken. I raise my eyebrows, quizzically.
“Her name was Clara Fowler,” Ben answers the question I was about to ask.
“Was?” Kadar interjects, quicker than I at catching onto the past tense Ben had used.
“I’m afraid so. Two years ago she was found dead in a canal. I’m sorry to say there’s evidence she’d been subjected to some fairly substantial abuse over a period of time.” He pauses for a moment, wiping his hand across his eyes as if it was hard for him to relay the details.
“There’s more, isn’t there?” I’m not sure I want to hear it but feel I need to.
“Yes, Zoe, there is. It looks like she was pregnant at the time of her death, and a brutal, amateur abortion procedure had been performed, certainly not by any qualified medical professional, presumably to remove any evidence of DNA. The evidence points to that being the cause of death. She bled out.”
I gasp and cover my mouth. As I shudder Kadar reaches over and puts a comforting hand on my arm. He glares at Ben, “Fuck, Ben! And you’re telling us this, why?”
“Because before Zoe, Clara was known to be Ethan’s live in girlfriend for some months before her disappearance.”
“Surely that made him a suspect in her death?” Kadar asks with a perplexed his expression.
Trying hard to get the circumstances of Clara’s demise out of my mind, I give a snort of mirthless laughter. “Ethan’s Teflon coated and can wriggle out of anything, Kadar.”
Ben dips his head, showing he agrees. “What Zoe says is true. In fact, all of the evidence, which was probably planted, suggests she had left him, he says amicably, a couple of months before her death. In truth, she appeared to disappear off the face of the earth. No friends or family had seen her, and likewise, all of Ethan’s household staff denied her being in his mansion during that period.”
“All the staff except Hargreaves go home at night. And that mansion’s so massive she could have been hidden away from them by day. There’s a whole wing that’s closed up and unused.”
“Who’s Hargreaves?”
I answer Kadar, “Ethan’s driver come bodyguard. And a sadistic bastard.”
“He touched you?” The question comes out as a growl.
“Oh yes,” I look at him pleadingly; I don’t want to say more. My mind is racing over something I remember only too well, making me realise I escaped only just in time. The last time Ethan had taken me he hadn’t worn a condom. Was that because he didn’t care if I got pregnant too? Because my days were already numbered? I grow cold, and a shiver runs down my spine.
“What does Grade A think happened?” Kadar directs the question to Ben, but dark eyes rest on me, at first steely then softening. He understands that some of the details are still too hard to bring into the open, particularly in front of a stranger. He gets back to the point, turning his attention back to Ben.
With a sigh, Ben continues, “All conjecture, of course, but a plausible explanation, given the man in question, is that Clara was treated like Zoe, gradually isolated from friends and family, and then abused. But in her case, she must have fallen pregnant. Now a man like Ethan wouldn’t want that—a child from a temporary lover who would have a legitimate claim to his estate. Our assumption is he hid her away somewhere. It wouldn’t have been difficult for a man of his means to do, and as you say, Zoe, it could even have been in his house. God knows what she went through while he was having his fun with her. Until she died.”
“Fun? Fun?” Kadar gets to his feet; his hand slashes through the air in disgust. “For fuck’s sake, why is this man still breathing? If he were on Amahadian soil, he’d be worm food by now.” He turns away, mumbling to himself, “For fuck’s sake, this is outrageous.”
“I’ve told both of you this because you mustn’t underestimate him.”
“I think Zoe already knew that!” Kadar sounds angry; he throws a furious look at the man from Grade A. “Was it necessary to go into details?”
Ben is unrepentant, “Yes, I believe it was, for two reasons. Firstly, Zoe has to understand that Ethan will not rest until he finds her, he’s not a man who likes loose ends, and doesn’t like anyone to beat him. And secondly, she’s right to be worried about her friends, and her mother. She must continue to have no contact with them. At all.”
A cry escapes my lips, even though I tried to suppress it, drawing the attention of the two men. “But I need to know my mother’s okay. And Sophie. Oh my God, what’s happened to them? If Ethan’s that desperate and dangerous, he’ll have gone after them trying to get information about me. What am I going to do?” My hands go to my face, rubbing and pushing at my cheeks in my frustration. Had I been selfish running away? Had I just caused trouble for those close to me? “And what about the mechanic, Josh? He helped me! And Ida!”
I feel Kadar move behind me, as he leans over, puts his hands lightly on my shoulders, and begins to massage my neck. “What news have you got for her?” Although he’s comforting me, his attention is still on the other man. I lean into his touch, welcoming it, making me realise that we had indeed crossed a bridge that night in the harem.
Ben ignores the over-familiar actions of the Amahadian ruler, instead again consulting his laptop. “As soon as you gave me the details I got a team onto it.” He glances over to me, “You’ve no need to worry. Your mother is well. St John-Davies is having her watched, of course, but we managed to get a message through to her when she visited her solicitor’s office letting her know you were safe. She didn’t want to know where you are, Zoe. Ethan has already paid her a couple of visits, and made threats against her and her husband, but in the end, he had to accept she had nothing to tell him. I’m sure he’ll keep an eye on her, though; he’ll suspect you won’t be able to resist making contact with her sooner or later, so you have to continue to avoid doing that for now. Oh, and we’re keeping a close eye on Ida, but apparently, the message got successfully delivered that she didn’t want you to tell her where you were going, so it looks like she’s fallen off his radar. Ethan might be dangerous, but he’s not stupid. He won’t waste time on anything if it doesn’t help further his cause. And in this case, that’s to find you.”
Even though I try to stay one hundred percent tuned into the conversation, a niggling thought at the back of my mind questions why my mother visited a solicitor. She couldn’t be divorcing number six, could she? I shut down that notion and give all my concentration back to the main topic. “It’s already been months since I left him, Ben. Surely he must give up soon?”
He shakes his head, grimly, “He’s a tenacious bastard. It will be a very long time
if ever before he lets this go. It’s become a game with him, and he doesn’t like to lose.” He stares at the screen in front of him, “Now, your friend Sophie has disappeared.”
“What?” I yell, interpreting his words at their very worst.
“What the fuck, Ben?” Kadar is angry on my behalf.
Ben looks sheepish, “Sorry, sorry.” He holds up his hand, “I didn’t mean it that way. She’s perfectly safe. Sean went to the garage and met Josh. It seems that the mechanic didn’t raise any red flags for Ethan, so he didn’t get a visit. But his colleague, a Mr Adam Horseman, went to check on Sophie the minute he understood what they might be dealing with.” Ben’s eyes narrow, and his features manage to combine to express a strange mixture of sympathy and anger. “It was apparent from the state of you when you arrived at the garage that morning how serious the situation was.”
I feel, as well as hear, Kadar growl behind me.
“Go on…” It seems there is still more of Sophie’s story to be told.
“Mr Horseman offered Sophie his personal protection, and she accepted it. Luckily he was with her when Hargreaves paid her a visit. He made it clear he didn’t believe that she was ignorant about your escape, and just as obvious he would be returning, presumably hoping he’d find her alone. Horseman has contacts in the States and persuaded Sophie to go with him for an extended visit. He believed his ‘friends’ would be more than a match for Ethan.”
“And Sophie went with him?” It didn’t seem credible that Sophie would go off with a perfect stranger. Sure I’d met Horse, but only for a moment. But truthfully I knew nothing about him. And does he really know what he’s up against? “How can he keep her safe? Ethan can track people anywhere.” I’m still worried for her.
But there’s a strange twinkle in his eye as Ben rushes to reassure me, “Horseman’s friends are an outlaw biker club, well used to evading authority. They’ll give Ethan a run for his money. Frankly, I think she’s probably in the safest place possible.”
Second Chances (Blood Brothers #3) Page 23