by Trish Wylie
As he crossed the street his gaze cut through flashing lights to locate her. Adrenalin still pumping, every tense muscle in his body strained with the need to get to her, haul her into his arms and never let go. But as she started to turn towards him, he stopped dead in his tracks.
For a second everything simply went silent.
Then it hit him.
How could he not have known? How in hell had he not seen it coming? He’d stood on the edge of bridges, rappelled out of choppers, faced gunfire, crawled into narrow spaces where he could be crushed like a bug and had never once been as fearful as he was in that store. And now he knew why.
Turning away before she looked at him, Daniel dug out his cell phone. The call he made for backup would most likely add to the fallout but he needed time to regroup and he couldn’t do that when she was there.
Unable to tear her gaze from him for long, Jo watched as he paced the street while talking on the phone. She wanted to be strong. As calm and collected as he was. But in comparison to the numbness she felt walking into the store, her emotions were all over the place. If he’d been shot … if she’d lost him while he tried to protect her …
‘You’re Danger Danny’s girl?’
Nodding, she dragged her gaze from him to look at the uniformed officer. ‘I’m Jo.’
‘Dom Molloy—I worked with Danny out of the ninth before he moved to the ESU. It’s nice to meet you, Jo.’ The dark-haired man smiled in greeting. ‘I need to ask some questions and take a statement. You feel up to that?’
She nodded again. ‘Yes.’
‘We’ll go over here where it’s quieter.’
‘Okay.’ Jo looked over her shoulder at Daniel while they left. She didn’t want to be somewhere she couldn’t see him, but she wasn’t going to let him down. She would answer all of the questions clearly and concisely and make sure everyone knew how amazing he had been. The need to step into his arms and stay there until some of his warmth and strength seeped into her shaking body would have to wait.
In comparison to the event itself, which had happened in slow motion, the wrap-up seemed to fly by. Next thing she knew a voice called her name and she was blinking in surprise.
Liv folded her in a brief, tight hug before studying her face with concern. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m fine.’ Her gaze moved from Liv to Blake and then back to Liv again. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Danny called.’
‘She was too wound up to drive,’ Blake explained.
‘What he means is I was worried sick about you.’
Jo opened her mouth to say there was no need when a deep voice sounded behind her and her breath caught.
‘She’s given a statement. She can go now.’
Spinning on her heels, she looked up at Daniel and drank in the sight of him. Her gaze lowered briefly to his chest to take inventory while she curled her fingers into fists at her sides. He was okay, she reassured her pounding heart. He was right there. She could stand and look at him without feeling the need to cling to him like a drowning woman. She could!
‘What happened?’ Liv asked.
‘Suspected EDP; she walked into a 10-52.’
Jo had no idea what that meant but she was too busy trying to keep her head above an unexpected wave of pain to ask. The image was too close to her earliest memory of him—the ache to have him acknowledge her existence as desperate as it had been back then. If Mr Cool-Calm-And-Collected didn’t look at her soon she was going to—
‘Why are you in street clothes?’ Liv inevitably asked.
‘I’m off duty,’ her brother replied.
‘Then why are you here?’
‘None of your business,’ he said in his don’t-mess-with-me voice. ‘And if you cross-examine her on the way home there’ll be one less monkey-suited brother at your wedding.’
‘Like Mom will let that happen.’
Daniel crossed his jaw. ‘Get her out of here, Liv.’
‘Wait a minute.’ When he walked away, Jo followed him. ‘I don’t even merit a “see you later”?’
He kept walking.
‘Come back here.’ She scowled at his broad back. ‘Danny!’
He turned and looked her straight in the eye. ‘If I come back over there I’m going to yell at you.’
Even hidden behind a mask of restraint, the force of his anger knocked her back on her heels. She was wrong. He wasn’t the least little bit cool and calm. Judging by the set of his shoulders he was barely collected. It might not have been the reaction she’d hoped for but it was better than nothing.
‘What were you doing in there?’ she asked in a far from steady voice.
‘My job.’
‘Is part of your job to see how many times you can almost get yourself killed before you get it right?’
‘If it costs our life to get someone out, that’s the price we pay.’ He waved an arm at his side. ‘Ask any of these guys in a uniform and they’ll tell you the same thing.’
She gaped at him. ‘You have no idea why I’m upset right now, do you?’
‘I warned you about the danger in this neighbourhood,’ he replied through gritted teeth.
‘You’re blaming me for this?’ She could hear her voice rising. ‘Do you think I went looking for a speeding bullet so you could jump in front of it and prove me wrong about needing to be rescued? I know the risks you take for other people, Danny. I just don’t want you to take them for me.’
‘I’m supposed to stand there and let you get shot?’
The thread she was hanging from snapped. ‘Do you think I wanted you in there? I spent every second after I walked into that mess praying you wouldn’t come find me! I knew what you would do but knowing and seeing it happen are two different things. Danger is your addiction, Danny, not mine. I know it doesn’t matter to you who it is you’re trying to save—’
‘It doesn’t matter who—?’ He clamped his mouth shut, then nodded firmly. ‘That’s it. You’re leaving now.’
‘I’m not—’ When he stepped forward, Jo took a step back. ‘Don’t you dare!’ He bent at the knee and tossed her over his shoulder, marching forward while she struggled. ‘Put me down, Danny! I hate when you do this.’
‘Where’s your car?’ he barked at his sister.
‘End of the street,’ she replied on what sounded like a note of amusement.
‘Don’t help him.’ Jo lifted her hands, attempting to get her hair out of her eyes so she could glare at his sister. ‘I want you to file for a restraining order. If you don’t I’m reporting your unmitigated jackass of a brother for assault.’
He tossed her higher up his shoulder and kept walking.
Not caring if she was dropped on her rear, Jo continued fighting. ‘You might have fooled me for a while, you great ape, but now I remember everything that bugged me most about you.’
He stopped and swung her from side to side before asking, ‘Jeep on the corner?’
‘Yes,’ Blake said.
Was no one on her side?
‘Don’t for a single second think we’re kissing and making up after this either,’ she said without thinking as he started walking again. ‘There isn’t anything you can say or do that—’
‘Did she just say kissing?’ Liv asked.
‘Yup,’ Blake replied.
Daniel dropped her onto her feet by the Jeep and aimed a filthy look her way. ‘Well done.’
‘Like they hadn’t figured it out already,’ Jo bit back before glancing at Liv. ‘Thanks for jumping to my defence.’
‘After you kept this little secret?’
‘Leave her alone,’ Daniel warned.
A burst of laughter left his sister’s lips. ‘Oh, I haven’t even got started on you yet. If you think I’m not going to ask what your intentions are towards my best friend—’
‘This is where I tend to leave them to it,’ Blake told Jo in a low voice.
‘Tempting,’ she replied. ‘But give me a minute.’ Placing a thumb and
forefinger between her lips, she whistled loudly.
When the siblings looked at her, she drew on her rapidly waning strength and looked at Daniel first. ‘You’re in enough trouble already. If you weren’t such an idiot you would know what I needed to avoid this meltdown when you walked out of the store. In case you hadn’t got it already, protecting me from your sister wasn’t it.’ She turned her attention to Liv. ‘And if you can think of a way I could have told you I was using one of your brothers to test the chocolate theory, feel free to let me know.’ She glared at each of them in turn and lifted her chin. ‘Anything else anyone wants to say?’
‘I’m good.’ Liv nodded before looking at Daniel. ‘You?’
He glanced down at her from the corner of his eye. ‘I ever thank you for bringing her home with you?’
‘You’re welcome.’
When he looked at her, Jo could feel some of his anger had dissipated, but not by much. She really didn’t think she could take much more. For sixteen years she had stood on her own two feet, faced everything life threw at her and nothing had ever got to her the way he did. She should hate him for that, but she didn’t. That was the problem. She felt so many things at once she couldn’t untangle them to make sense of it all.
‘Finished yelling at me now?’ he asked in a gruff voice.
Oh, that was so unfair. He’d even managed to say it in a way that made it feel as if she weren’t the only one struggling. The girl who had always considered herself a fighter had never felt the need to run away more keenly.
‘You want me to leave? Congratulations, Danny, you win.’ The secret she’d kept tripped off the tip of her tongue. ‘I’m booked on a flight to Paris in six days.’
Daniel looked stunned. ‘What?’
‘You heard me. No big deal, right? Just moves our schedule up a little.’ Unable to continue looking at him and with her throat closing over, Jo turned away. When she reached for a handle to open the Jeep, her shoulders slumped. ‘Can someone open the door, please?’ There was a high-pitched blip and a click of locks. ‘Thank you.’
The trip home was long and interminably silent, but Jo didn’t want to talk. Instead she turned her head and watched the blur of colours and lights and people as the city went by. It wasn’t how she’d wanted to tell him, but it was done now and there was nothing she could do to take it back.
‘Where are we going?’ she asked when something outside the windows didn’t seem quite right.
‘Our place,’ Liv replied.
Jo shook her head. ‘No, Liv, I want to go home.’
They conceded without too much fuss, which Jo appreciated in her exhaustive state. But after insisting she would see her all the way into the apartment, Liv turned to her with concern in her eyes. ‘You’re not okay, are you?’
Jo shook her head.
‘Brannigan men can be a little thick-skulled. But Danny—’
‘Liv—’ Jo grimaced ‘—please don’t.’
‘Just this one thing and then I’ll stop.’ She took a short breath. ‘Back when Danny was a kid he could make his body and his hands do whatever he wanted them to do. I heard he could toss a perfect spiral with a football at two—throw a killer curve with a baseball at three. Dad thought it made him cocky; felt he had to bring him down a peg or two by pushing him till he learnt he had limits. All it did in the end was make Danny twice as determined, ten times harder on himself, and half as communicative. Dad never broke him, not on the surface. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings or can’t be hurt …’
‘I know,’ Jo said on a harsh whisper.
‘Try telling him what Paris means to you and he might—’
Emotion clogged her throat again. ‘Liv—’
‘I’m stopping now.’ She folded Jo into another hug. ‘You had a rough night. Go get some sleep. I’ll check in on you in the morning.’
Jo stood in the centre of the room for a long time after her best friend left, feeling more alone than she’d ever been. Paris had been her dream for a long time. But with it far off in the distance she’d never spared a moment to think about the things she would leave behind. She had worked long and hard, fought for a sense of security and been blessed with more than she dared hope for in the days when it all seemed so far away. But to leave the city she loved, her home, her friends …
To leave the man she loved …
It might have taken a while for her to admit it, but it was there: solid and fixed and unshakable. She loved him.
But there was no point pretending he felt the same way. If he wanted to share his life he would want to share it all: the good and the bad. By holding back he was saying she wasn’t the one for him. If he could share everything with her the way she had started to with him … If she knew he loved her as much as she loved him …
She shook her head and held back the tears she desperately wanted to shed. In six days she would go to Paris.
End of story.
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘New shoes, desserts, nights out; what do they have in common? When there’s more than one option available there’s nothing worse than having to make a choice.’
THE scenario of the nightmare was no surprise after the events in the convenience store. But the outcome was different.
A shot rang out.
Daniel looked at her. He knew she could see the agony on his face but fought to hide it from her. She staggered forward as he turned, reached for him as he dropped to his knees. Then she was sobbing, their fingers trying to stem the flow of red.
‘It’s okay,’ he said gruffly.
‘Don’t leave,’ she choked.
The pain flayed her soul. As Jo woke up she curled into a ball, hot tears rolling down her cheeks, soaking the pillow. It was the first nightmare she’d ever experienced. How he had got through so many of them … how strong he had to be not to lose his mind … He was so very brave …
She stilled and held her breath, blinking in the darkness, listening to the sounds coming through the wall. The impetus came as a large chunk was torn off her heart. She had to go to him. She didn’t have a choice.
Not when he was calling her name.
When Daniel opened the door large watery eyes looked up at him. After tossing tangled tresses of hair over her shoulder, her hands tugged on the belt of a dressing gown. She made a quick study of his face, scowled briefly at his naked chest, then caught her soft lower lip in her teeth and took a breath.
‘I can’t do this any more,’ she confessed in a crackly voice as she shouldered past him. ‘We need to talk.’
Talking was the last thing he wanted to do, particularly if it involved sitting still. When something happened Daniel couldn’t control, his reaction had always been the same. He had to keep busy. Keep moving. Keep pushing his body until his mind had time to work through it. Lying down sure as hell hadn’t helped. Not when he’d been subjected to eight years’ worth of failings in one session.
It was tough to believe he could love someone enough to deserve them when he was filled with self-loathing. He frowned as he closed the door. ‘You’re supposed to be with Liv.’
‘I wanted to sleep in my own bed.’ Realization crossed her eyes. ‘What was the plan if we didn’t walk into a stick-up? A night in one of the hotels you stayed in after you got back?’
He scrubbed a palm over his face. ‘Jo—’
‘Make me coffee.’
‘I’m not making you coffee.’ He glanced briefly at his watch. ‘It’s four in the morning.’ ‘We’re talking about this.’ ‘No, we’re not.’
‘Yes, we are,’ she insisted. ‘If you don’t talk about it then everything stays locked up in your head and no matter what you do it won’t go away. I think you know that.’
He did. He’d said something similar to Jack. But pushing him when she already had him on the run wasn’t the right move.
Daniel looked anywhere but into her eyes. Way he saw it, she was right to get as far away from him as possible. It wouldn’t take long for a
smart woman like her to work out how much more he needed her in his life than she needed him. Since he didn’t plan on sticking around for that revelation, he should thank her for beating him to the punch.
‘Do you know you were calling my name tonight?’ she asked.
He nodded.
‘You remember every detail of them when you wake up?’
He nodded again.
After a brief silence, she sighed. ‘Go put on a T-shirt. I’ll make my own coffee.’
Daniel used it to buy time, splashing water on his face and blinking at the bathroom sink before he dug out a T-shirt. He had to let her say her piece. The break had to be clean. If it wasn’t it would take longer to heal. When he returned, she was sitting at the breakfast bar, her gaze fixed on his chest as he walked across the room. He lifted a fist to rub the ache it created, a cavalry charge of sensation thundering across his senses. Coupled with the need to do something physical, his body leapt to attention—cocked, primed and ready for action. But no matter how tempting it was when she looked ruffled and soft and sexy, he couldn’t get lost in her any more.
Waiting for him to sit opposite her, she slid a mug across the counter. ‘You should drink decaf.’
‘Bit pointless drinking coffee if it’s not got caffeine.’
She flashed a brief smile. ‘I feel the same way. But you should consider it.’
‘It won’t make a difference.’
‘Are the nightmares always worse after your eight-hour coma?’
‘Payback.’
Inky lashes swept downward, her gaze studying her mug as she turned it in her hands. ‘Did you have the nightmares when you were overseas?’
‘Slept like a baby.’
‘Explains why you’re happy to go back.’
‘It’s part of it,’ he allowed.
‘What happened to me in this one?’ she asked.
Daniel pressed his mouth into a thin line. Even while she was sitting in front of him, the images remained sickeningly clear in his mind. He honestly didn’t know how he could look at her every day, feel the way he did and resist the urge to smother her in the protectiveness she didn’t want from him. She would try to soothe and reassure with a whispering touch and softly spoken words but even that wouldn’t help.