She Was Mine: An Incapable Novella

by Marie Skye

  It could be Grayson, I thought. Or it could be the housekeeper checking in. I stepped away from the door in case it was an intruder. I heard the sound of the key code being entered in and then the door unlocking. My eyes grew wide as the door opened and Grayson filled the entrance.

  He stood by the door and stared. I couldn’t read him. He looked menacing and pissed off. As he should be. I started getting nervous. He took two steps forward, which still left quite a distance between us. I licked my dry lips. I owed him something. An apology. A cry. Something. But none of that came out of my mouth.

  “I wouldn’t have signed them,” I blurted out. His expression didn’t change. I elaborated just in case. “The papers,” I clarified. It hurt just to say the words divorce. “I wouldn’t have signed the papers,” I whispered out. I started wringing my hands. “But, I wanted to help. I needed to help, and I wanted…”

  “Shut up.”

  Those two words had me halting. Those two words he said so deeply, they would have stopped anyone. I took another deep breath, because he needed to know. He needed to know before he kicked me out.

  “I just…”

  “I said shut. Up.”

  I felt my chin starting to quiver, and I started to turn, but he spoke again. “What’s your safeword?”

  I froze and slowly turned around and met his gaze. “Attic,” I whispered out.

  “Louder!”

  His voice boomed around me, and I jumped. He was angry, and now he needed to punish. A tear rolled down my face, but I kept his gaze. “Attic,” I said more clearly.

  His expression was blank. “Strip.” His voice was low, but I heard it. I slowly took off my shirt and threw it on the edge of the couch. I toed each shoe off slowly, trying to prolong whatever wrath he was going to bring down. Finally, I took off my jeans, as well as my bra and panties, but decided I was going to leave my socks on. I chanced a glance up at him. He slightly tilted his brow, and that was all I needed to remove both socks.

  I stood before him, completely nude, already getting chilled. I kept my head down, because the last thing I wanted to see was the look of disappointment and hate on his face. I shut my eyes as I tried to remember the good part of what we had, when he loved me. I heard him step closer, and I could feel him right in front of me. Without lifting my head, I slowly opened my eyes and found myself staring at his boots.

  “Look at me,” he whispered. I took a moment before slowly raising my head to meet his gaze. After a few seconds, he finally raised his hand to under my chin. It was the first real touch we’d have of each other in quite a while.

  “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you for doing that.”

  My eyes teared up, I wanted to respond, but instead, hoped he could see in my eyes that what I did was for the best. Not only for him, but for Emersyn, as well.

  He cupped my face with both hands. “You are my wife.” I gave him a slight nod. “You are my wife. Say it.”

  “I am your wife,” I whispered.

  “Again.”

  “I am your wife,” I said more loudly. He abruptly picked me up, and I wrapped my legs around him as he walked us to a wall. His hand unbuckled his belt to free his cock. “Again!”

  Before I could say it again, he plunged into me hard, and I cried out. It had been a few weeks. Which meant a few weeks of pent-up frustration. “I am your wife,” I panted out.

  “Again!”

  He pushed me harder against the wall. His grip around my waist was bruising. I wanted to kiss him, but every time I tried, he buried his face into my neck and bit down. He was making it clear that he was in control. That he’ll always be in control.

  I felt delirious, not only from the pain he inflicted, but from the pleasure that quickly came after. I was close. Oh, so close. I felt the power of the orgasm spiraling up. Grayson, changed his position, which had him thrusting in deeper, and I cried out as his pelvis rubbed my clit. I was going to come, and Grayson knew it too, because he stopped and pulled out. All I could do was I whimper.

  Still holding me, he walked us to the table and set me down on it. “All fours,” he said, and I quickly complied to get into position. I shivered as he ran a single finger down my spine. He spread my ass cheeks and blew softly. The air made me clench my pussy in anticipation. He stood up and slammed into me again.

  I moaned as the pressure built itself back up. I didn’t even try to stop myself as my hand trickled down and started to rub my clit.

  Grayson stopped and slapped me hard on the ass. “Did I say you could do that? Back into position. That’s how I want you.” I whimpered placing my hand back on the table After a few seconds, Grayson’s arm came across my chest, and he slowly lifted me up. I started to panic. He felt so deep inside of me, deeper than ever before. I felt constricted and overwhelmed. Everything that had gone on these past few months finally erupted in me, so much so, that I burst into tears.

  “Shhh,” he whispered in my ear. He ran one of his hands up and down my body, trying to reassure me that I was okay, his other hand tight against me. I was up on my knees on the hardwood kitchen table, with Grayson buried in as deep as he’s ever been.

  “Safeword?”

  I took several deep breaths. He asked if I wanted to safeword. After a few minutes, I shook my head. He didn’t move. I knew why. He needed the words. His hand moved over my stomach, and I placed mine on top of his. Tell him.

  “No, no safeword.”

  His hand continued down to my pussy, and his other arm went to my breasts. “I’m going to fuck you now, and you’re going to come.” I nodded rapidly, and he started to move. Each time he thrust in, I let out a silent moan. I felt so open and so stretched, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good. Grayson thrust harder, and I leaned my head back against his chest. With his fingers working their magic against my clit, I was on edge and I was about to come.

  Grayson’s other arm lowered to my pelvis, and he pressed down. His other hand that was slowly rubbing my clit suddenly stopped. I was about to yell out when his hand came down and slapped me hard on my pussy. I yelped in shock. His fingers started rubbing my clit furiously, and he pressed harder on my pelvis with his other hand, and I came almost without warning and I came hard. The squelching noise that came from my pussy grew louder as my orgasm went on and on. I felt myself getting wetter and wetter. Grayson let out a guttural moan as he came as deep inside me as he could.

  I felt myself leaning forward, but he held me up. He always held me up. In more ways than one. He stayed inside of me for another minute, before finally pulling out, and carefully lowering me down. I shakily climbed off the table. I should’ve known this was it. One last fuck before we parted. I wrapped my arms around myself and bowed my head, because I knew if I looked at him, I would fall apart.

  I started to walk past him, and he grabbed my arm. “Where are you going?”

  “That was it, wasn’t it?” I fumbled for my words. “The goodbye sex.”

  He smirked. “And why would you think that?”

  I looked at him confused. He pulled me closer. “I wasn’t going to sign them, either. I never would’ve signed them, even if you did. When you said you wanted to leave, you broke my fucking heart,” he whispered. “Those words will never come out of your mouth; do you hear me?” I blinked back tears, as I nodded.

  “I never would’ve…” I paused trying to get my thoughts together. “I was confused and hurt when the results came back and…”

  He pulled me into him tightly. Grayson then informed me how the rest of the trial went, and that she did drug him.

  “What about the baby?”

  He sighed looking resolute. “I can’t ask you to have a part in that child’s life. I understand, but…it’s a part of me. It’ll be Flick’s sibling.”

  I smiled sadly. Tell him! “I guess, we’ll just have to figure it out when the baby’s born.” He gathered us under the blanket.

  “I wish this wasn’t the way. I really, really do. But, I can’t cha

nge what or how it happened.”

  “I know,” I whispered against his chest.

  30

  Emmalin

  One Month Later

  “Mrs. Mandrake? Dr. Blythe is ready for you.”

  I grabbed my stuff and headed back to the room. I sat as the nurse took my blood pressure and temperature. She finally smiled when she was done. “Dr. Blythe will be in shortly. Are you expecting your husband? Should we look out for him?”

  I shook my head. “No. No, he won’t be here.”

  She nodded as she left the room and I sat there waiting. A few minutes later, Dr. Blythe came in.

  “Mrs. Mandrake, great to see you again.” She shook my hand before taking a seat and going over my chart on the computer. She nodded to the table. “Go ahead and hop on so I can take a look.

  She came over and listened to my heart and lungs. “You’re progressing nicely. You’ve two weeks to go until your twelfth week. Your weight is still a little on the low side. Not as low as it was with your first pregnancy.”

  She sat in her chair, and smiled up at me. "How are you feeling?"

  I nodded, playing with the hem of my shirt. “Things have been...stressful to say the least. A lot has been going on these past few months, and..." I trailed off, and looked up at Dr. Blythe, who had a look of concern etched on her face. I quickly changed the subject. “I do think I’m doing better. I haven’t really felt any movements or anything yet, but hopefully soon.”

  “Yes, you’ll start to feel the flutters. For most women, it starts at about sixteen weeks. Some women have also felt it as early as the thirteenth week, but of course, it's different for every woman." She typed a few things down, before turning back to me. “Again, same thing as before. Eating healthy, exercise, staying hydrated. And of course, I encourage all my patients to maintain an active sex life. How are you in that area? Any discomfort?”

  I gave an awkward laugh. “No.” I cleared my throat. “Is everything between us confidential?”

  “Of course. Patient-doctor relationship is always confidential, especially due to laws.”

  I played with my shirt, and shut my eyes. “If I were to consider an abortion, is that something you could help me with?”

  She studied me for minute. “I can…but may I ask why that would be something you’re considering.”

  “I don’t know, I was just wondering. I think maybe having a second baby might not be the best option right now.” I paused. I couldn’t even believe I was asking this. “My husband and I have been going through some things, in the past few months, and he’s already having a second baby.”

  “He’s already having a second baby…but not with you?”

  I laughed. “I know how this sounds. I just think adding this to everything we have going on, it may be overwhelming for him.” Shit, I had no idea what I was trying to say.

  She was quiet for a beat before speaking. “I’m gathering this is the stress you were referring to earlier?" My eyes left hers, as I focused back on the hem of my shirt. I guess, I didn't exactly want to see her judging eyes. “How does Mr. Mandrake feel about terminating the pregnancy?”

  I looked down at my hands, tears starting to form. “I haven’t told him I’m pregnant. I’ve barely told anyone,” I whispered.

  She sighed. “Well, I can’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, but you do need a support system.” She grabbed some pamphlets. “I want you to take the rest of the week, and perhaps even another week after that to decide what you want to do. Here’s some information regarding abortion, as well as what to expect. I do strongly recommend counseling before and after.” I nodded, folding the pamphlets and putting them in my purse.

  “Thank you, I will.”

  31

  Grayson

  “How about mashed peas?” I held up a bowl to Flick, and she just laughed. I chuckled. “Mashed peas it is.”

  “Ma!” Flick shrieked.

  “No, I’m Dada. Mom isn’t here right now.” I checked my watch. “But she should be soon. Hopefully she’ll get to see you before you go to bed.”

  I knew Emmalin would be at the cabin after the trial. When I first opened that door, and stepped in and saw her standing there, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I needed her. I needed to touch her, I needed to hold her, and tell her how much she meant to me, until my voice was hoarse.

  We fucked all night. But, it wasn’t just fucking. It was pure love. I fucked her with all my love so that there wasn’t ever a chance she could doubt me, or us. That night, I couldn’t stop fucking her if I wanted to.

  If she left my side for more than three minutes, I was already up looking for her. I felt completely primal for her, and she gave everything right back to me.

  When she laughed, I reveled in it. When she cried, I licked away each tear, and ensured her, we were okay.

  Even though she said she was happy, and I believed her, I couldn’t help but feel there was still a piece of her she wasn’t giving me.

  * * *

  Unfortunately, Emmalin wasn’t home in time to see Flick. She said we were fine, but something’s off. It was a quarter to ten before Emmalin walked in. I wanted to be pissed at her, but I also knew I really had no right to do that.

  “Hey, everything okay?”

  She smiled, which was absolutely fake. “Yeah, sorry I’m late.” I watched as she hung her coat up.

  “Well, let me warm you up some dinner. Have you eaten?” I was halfway to the kitchen before she stopped me.

  “You know I think I’m just going to shower and go to bed. I’m kind of tired.” I watched as she crossed her arms and headed to our room. Give her time, I kept telling myself. She just needs time.

  I got into bed, turned on the TV, and flipped mindlessly through the channels. I heard a phone ring, looked around, and spotted Emmalin’s bag. The ringing stopped. I went back to channel surfing. Ten seconds later, her phone rang again, and I got up to get her bag. Emmalin carried so much shit, it took a while to dig her phone out.

  I checked the phone, turns out it wasn’t a phone call, but an alarm she had set. I turned it off and placed it back into her bag, along with the other crap I took out, which consisted of her diabetic supplies, a pair of baby socks, a bib, and a bag of toddler puffs. The folded papers she had fell on the floor. As I gathered them, the words on one of the pages caught my eye. I scanned it over, then opened the next two.

  What the fuck?

  I told myself to wait until she was out of the shower. That waiting lasted all of two seconds before I barged in the bathroom.

  She glanced at me startled. “Hey. I’m about done if you need to get in.”

  Fuck yeah, I needed to get in. I walked in, still fully clothed, and she looked at me strangely. “What are you…?” I held my hand up stopping her. I noticed how she dropped her arms in front of her, like she was trying to conceal herself. I looked her up and down; her breasts were bigger and my eyes took in her stomach. She was still flat, but there was definitely more softness.

  How had I not seen this? Have I really been this fucking blind, I didn't even notice the changes with my wife? Have I been so focused on everything else we've had going on, that I missed this? I know Emmalin's body better than she does, and yet I still managed to fail her. I failed us.

  “Grayson, what are you doing?”

  I hesitantly placed my hand on her stomach, and she flinched. I finally glanced up at her. “Are you pregnant?” She quickly diverted her eyes and I grabbed her chin so she had to look at me. “Emmalin. Are you pregnant?”

  Her shoulders slumped and she finally nodded. I looked back down at her stomach. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  She tried looking away again, but I held her firm. She took a deep breath. “You’re busy, and…”

  I cut her off. “I’m not that busy for my wife to tell me she’s pregnant!” My voice came out harder than it should. “How far along are you?”

  “Just a few months,” she whispered.