Passions Wild And Free

by Janelle Taylor

  Randee was cognizant of Marsh’s keen study and obvious confusion— perceptions which she gathered from his voice, movements, respiration, and expressions. She was increasing his apprehension by behaving calmly and friendly, by acting as if last night didn’t exist! She decided to continue along this same path, as he didn’t really want to get into anything personal today. Perhaps his manly ego just couldn’t understand how she could ignore him after a night of ecstasy in his arms! No doubt he was wondering the usual things: did he harm her? Did he give her pleasure? Was she embarrassed to face him? Did she want him again? Would she start chasing him and driving him loco? At least that was what she assumed were the usual things.

  She started to drop a few hints to relax him, but changed her mind. Let him stew a while, she decided. It’ll be good for such a confident man to be uncertain for a change, to wonder and worry about obtaining a victory. Let him learn how to communicate if he wants answers. He has to open that door between us before I can step inside. If he doesn’t want me to, then don’t humiliate either of us by …

  Marsh nudged Randee’s shoulder and asked, “You awake?”

  The blonde hadn’t realized how long she’d been entrapped by deep thought. Marsh had cleared the remains of their early meal and put out the campfire. He was packing up their supplies and trying not to stare at her. Randee stretched and smiled. “Need any help, partner?”

  “All done here. You ready to ride?” he asked.

  Randee nodded, then went to saddle Rojo. She climbed upon the chestnut’s back and kneed the mare into a lively gallop. Marsh swiftly caught up with her and rode just ahead of her—on purpose, she decided, to place him, instead of her, in the line of vision.

  Marsh wondered what thoughts and feelings had had her so ensnared back in camp, and which ones were racing through her this very moment. Maybe she wanted, or needed, to pretend last night never happened. Maybe it had been an impulsive act, or one to satisfy her feminine curiosity. Or worse, an unpleasant and painful experience. Maybe she was relieved that he was also ignoring it and she was showing her gratitude by being so nice. Damn, he silently cursed, not knowing is torment.

  They traveled over terrain which was a blend of rolling hills and flat grassland, Mainly northward, dark mesas loomed in the distance, poised for all time beneath a very pale blue sky today. Every so often they encountered dry spots with sandy beds and countless prickly cacti. On some high hills it seemed as if one could see into forever, and one grasped the immense size of this territory. In many areas, there were numerous trees and bushes; in others, fertile valleys were covered with lush grasses and multicolored wildflowers. There was plenty of water around, making this section excellent ranch land.

  At their first rest stop, Marsh strolled around away from where she was limbering up her taut body, muscles that were tense but not because of their steady journey. It amused her to watch him trying to act natural while trying to avoid her, and perhaps also avoid some kind of confrontation which he didn’t know how to deal with just yet. If only she knew more about men and how their minds worked, she could figure out a way to settle down this anxious rogue!

  She leaned against a tree and closed her eyes. She wondered why life and love had to be so difficult at times Her original reason for being with Marsh was receding like a water line during a drought. All she wanted now was to be with him; yet, she had to pretend it was only revenge that was driving her onward, or he might send her home for a lack of concentration and dedication! If he was nervous now, he would be worse if he discovered he had become the center of her life!

  Randee opened her eyes to find Marsh staring at her oddly, worriedly. She sent him an amiable smile as she joined him at the horses. She hastily massaged his wrinkled forehead and teased, “Quit frowning, partner, I’m not collapsing from fatigue yet. I was only daydreaming about building my ranch after our mission is over I think I’ll have more stables this time; I like raising horses better than cattle.”

  He handed her the chestnut’s reins. “That’s, a great idea ‘cause you’re very good with them. Rojo obeys you without a second thought.”

  She mounted the mare and looked over at Marsh, who was sitting astride his sleek stallion. “Too bad my hired help doesn’t do the same,” she playfull taunted, then raced off laughing gaily.

  Marsh observed her from the rear, noticing how well she sat her saddle and how ravishing she looked today in a dark blue riding skirt and white shirt. Her tawny locks fanned out behind her and whipped about in the wind she was creating with her pace. He had the urge to race up beside her, yank her from her saddle, and crush her in his arms as his mouth devoured hers. His forehead still tingled where she had touched him, and her silvery laughter still sounded in his ears. What a sneaky little vixen she was, tempting him again today while trying not to frighten him off! If he wasn’t wrong, she wanted him, and wanted him badly. Yet, she was being careful not to intimidate him, and he deeply appreciated that kindness. It must be hard on her, not knowing what were the right things to do and say. But he couldn’t tell her, because he didn’t know either!

  They had halted near a cluster of trees for the midday meal and rest when they heard noises from movement of some type. Both looked toward the dark spots on the horizon. “Is it a herd of animals or a band of Indians?” she asked as Marsh lifted his field glasses.

  He gazed through the optical device and replied, “Neither.”

  Randee’s only thought was about losing Marsh during a battle. Her heart lurched heavily as she murmured, “The Epson Gang?”

  Marsh lowered the glasses and looked over at her pale face. She was breathing erratically and trembling. “Settle down, Randee; it’s only a group of wagons heading westward, probably for California. They can’t see us over here, and we don’t need to make contact.”

  She realized how he was observing her and how she must appear—like a petrified female, a weakling, and a coward. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply to steady her respiration and heart rate. Finally she looked at him and said, “I’m sorry, Marsh. For a moment, all I could think about was losing the people I love. There’s so much they don’t know, so much I haven’t told them. For an instant, I didn’t think there would be time to do so. When we get to Brownwood, I need to write my mother. She’s expecting a baby in August and she’s probably worried sick about me. I’ve been selfish not to let her know where I am, that I’m safe and well. I won’t panic again; I promise.”

  Marsh sensed that Randee was referring more to him than to her mother or anyone else. He almost challenged her words, wanting and needing to hear her speak the truth. Truth, his mind echoed; the truth was that they were safe this time, but what about the next one? What if it had been the Epson Gang and they had been sighted?

  Randee shook his arm lightly and vowed, “Honestly, Marsh, I won’t panic again. Surely I’m allowed one slip.”

  Knowing he was the reason for her error, hecouldn’t fault her about it. Besides, if peril had been nearby, they probably would have gone unnoticed or escaped. No damage had been done, so she didn’t need to suffer unduly. “I didn’t see a slip in your courage and skills, Randee, only in your attention. If we had been attacked you would have done just fine because your instinct for survival would have taken control of you. You were only distracted by personal problems for an instant, but that’s exactly why you shouldn’t allow your emotions to ensnare you on a dangerous trail. I’m not angry or disappointed. In fact, it was probably an excellent lesson in alertness, for both of us.”

  Randee grasped the unspoken warning in his message: if they had been absorbed in each other, they could have fallen prey to their worst enemies. This matter was a deadly serious one, something she had allowed herself to forget. She had to stay on guard, or she could get them killed. More so, she had to stop distracting Marsh Logan with her brazen flirtations. This man had dual sides, and both parts depended upon his wits to survive. Her amorous behavior was dulling those wits, so she had to quell it. “You’re rig
ht, Durango. I let my guard down and that was stupid. I won’t allow my private affairs to interfere with our mission again.”

  “We’re both guilty, Randee. My mind was elsewhere too. From now on, partner, it’s strictly …” Marsh halted and stared past her. After placing his finger to his lips to indicate silence, he pointed beyond her to where a herd of pronghorns was grazing peacefully.

  Randee watched them for a while, stealing some of their tranquility. She had wanted to tell Marsh about her past today, but it wasn’t the right time, not with them battling their strong attraction to each other. She didn’t want to influence his thoughts and feelings by revealing what a hard time she had endured, so she would wait.

  Marsh was glad he hadn’t finished his discouraging statement, because he doubted that things could remain strictly business between them. No matter how hard she was trying to conceal it, he knew that Randee was distressed by his apparent rejection. Clearly she was trying to abide by his rules and desires, and she was baffled by his conflicting signals to her. He stood and flexed, telling Randee it was time to leave.

  The landscape remained much the same: lush rolling hills, valuable grazing land, brilliant wildflowers, plenty of water, and lots of trees and bushes. The trees, mostly oaks and mesquites, had a northward bend because of this area’s weather. With short trunks and bushy limbs, many trees looked like giant green balls hanging close to the ground. It was so verdant and lovely, along, this route to Brownwood.

  At dusk, they tended their horses and camped near the head of what would one day be called Pecan Bayou. With little conversation between them, they prepared their meal, ate it, then cleaned up together. To avoid being noticed by anyone in the area, Marsh doused the fire and denied himself a shave. The water nearby was shallow, dirty, and snaky, so Marsh asked her to wait until the next night to take a bath. Having studied their surroundings, Randee promptly agreed. Uncertain of this area’s inhabitants, Marsh also insisted on no campfire and on their sleeping close in case of danger. Again, Randee concurred. It required some effort, but both eventually slept fitfully. The following morning, their pattern was much the same: cook, eat, clean up, and leave.

  During their first stop, she thought Marsh was napping. It amazed her how fast he could drop off to sleep, to awaken instantly if something caught his always alert ear. She wondered what embittering experiences and disappointments that man had faced during his lifetime, what incidents had made him such a loner. Sometimes she sensed a soul-deep loneliness about him; yet, he always seemed in control of himself and his emotions. His roguish smile or playful grin belied what he had endured since leaving home. Again, she wondered what had driven him away. He must have loved his parents deeply to agonize over their deaths, to risk his life to destroy their killers.

  Marsh “Durango Kid” Logan was such a contradiction to her. He was-a legendary gunslinger; yet, he was the most caring and gentle man she had known. He seemed arrogant at times but it was nothing more than extreme self-confidence. Often, he seemed totally elusive and unobtainable, yet he had yielded to her once and she knew he wanted to do so again. He was serious, but he had a wonderful sense of humor. He was strong, but he was also vulnerable. He was fearless, yet he was afraid of committing to her, to anything except a deadly challenge. He was self-reliant yet he seemed to need her, need her in many ways. Randee saw those facts and insights reflected in his blue eyes and heard them-in his tone when he didn’t realize his guard was too low. It was hard for Marsh to trust, hard for him to share himself, hard for him to depend on anyone but himself, hard for him to show a weakness of any kind. Yet, she loved him and wanted him.

  During their midday meal break, she wondered which was more distracting: being ill-fated lovers or fighting their mutual attraction. It was their late afternoon rest stop that ensnared them. …

  The day was exceptionally hot and muggy. Randee felt as if her garments were glued to her moist flesh. Her hair was damp and her bangs were stuck to her flushed face. She struggled to remove her riding gloves, but they were resistive because her hands were hot and sweaty. She tossed her hat aside and knelt by the water’s edge to splash her face with tepid liquid. She unfastened the top few buttons of her shirt and removed her bandanna. Soaking it in the shallow stream, she rubbed the cooling cloth over her neck and upper chest. She was miserable, but mostly it was because of this emotional stand-off.

  She glanced over at Marsh, who was lying on his back under a shade tree. Heavens, how she wanted to go and pounce on him! The Epson Gang and their cruelties seemed unreal today. All she was aware of was Marsh Logan and her love and desire for him. Randee actually felt as if she couldn’t breathe, as if she would perish if she couldn’t have him or at least put an end to this stress. She trembled and wanted to cry, and she hated feeling so weak and helpless.

  She called out to the reclining man, “Stay where you are, Marsh, because I’m going for a swim. I can’t stand this heat and sweat any longer.”

  Marsh was on his feet and at her side in an instant. “Wait a minute, woman! I haven’t checked out this area. What if somebody’s nearby? Can’t you wait until we camp for the night?”

  She locked her gaze to his and made her decision to end this torment. She replied, “No, I can’t. I’m so tense I could scream. Be kind and stand guard for me,” she entreated.

  He suggested, “Why don’t I teach you to shoot left-handed? That should take your mind off … the heat.”

  Randee looked him in the eye and revealed, “If you stand anywhere near me, Marsh Logan, my tension and heat will be worse! You best get away from me before I do something we’ll both regret,” she warned. When he looked as if he were afraid to open his mouth, she forged on bravely, “I can’t stand this strain any longer. We can’t go on pretending nothing happened between us back there, even if nothing happens between us again. As long as we ignore the problem, we’ll be tense and guarded. I just want us to be ourselves, to be relaxed with each other again. Surely this is the worst way to handle a touchy matter. I know it’s hard for you to trust another person, to lean on somebody, to share any part of yourself. It doesn’t mean you have a weakness, just because you occasionally need someone else. Can’t we just enjoy each other while we’re together?”

  Marsh’s sky-blue gaze fused with her earthy-green one. He admitted hoarsely, “I have to agree with you, Randee. If we don’t stop avoiding the truth and ignoring each other, this is only going to get harder for us. The trouble is, I don’t know what to say and do in a situation like this, because I have no experience with one. It makes me nervous knowing how you feel, but it makes me just as nervous not knowing. I’m afraid of hurting you, because I’m afraid you’ll expect too much from me if we get close, and I don’t like being scared of anything. I just feel so damn guilty about taking advantage of …”

  Randee’s fingers pressed against his lips and prevented the rest of his sentence from coming forth. She reasoned desperately, “Don’t you realize that I’m the one taking advantage of you, Marsh? I’m the one who started this both times because I want you, and I’ll take you on any terms. I’m not being reckless or impulsive. That was the most wonderful experience I’ve had. Knowing what I do, how can I back away now? We’re adults; we’re free to act on our desires. There’s no reason why we can’t sleep together if that’s what we both want. Please believe me and relax. Don’t you see, this restraint is more demanding and dangerous than simply enjoying each other?”

  Marsh locked his gaze to hers and deliberated her enticing words. She was very smart and honest for such a young woman, and he wanted to be convinced that he wasn’t misusing her. “You’re right, Randee, this strain has to end; it’s driving me wild,” he confessed. “But are you sure you’ve thought this situation over carefully? Are you positive you understand I’m offering you nothing in return?”

  Randee clasped his whiskered jaw between her hands and looked up into his worried eyes. “I’ve had almost two days to ponder this matter, and this is what I want. I a
ccept your feelings, Marsh, and I won’t put any strain on you to change them.”

  As if a secret signal had passed between them, they melted into each other’s arms, and their lips meshed feverishly. They kissed, embraced, caressed, and excited each other. Having fought these desires since Friday night, they were consumed by fiery passion, by a burning need for each other. Despite the damp clinginess of their garments, they were rid of them quickly and were sinking into the lush grass near the water’s edge. Their mouths and hands worked eagerly and ardently, as if no force could halt their union.

  Little stimulation was required to bring them to boiling level, as they had been simmering for each other. Quickly, the flames beneath them increased, and they bubbled with entrapped energy. Hotter and hotter their bodies burned, and steamier their spirits became. Soon, Marsh was within her, and she rejoiced at their reunion. Rapidly they scaled passion’s peak and wavered on its blissful precipice, eager to tumble over its edge, yet reluctant to end this wonderful madness. The top to their kettle of passion blew off and sent their steam of desire racing skyward in happy release. Ever so gradually their wits returned and their bodies cooled.

  Marsh gazed down into Randee’s lovely face and smiled, “Do you realize that you’re the only person to ever steal my wits and control?”

  Randee laughed and teased, “Why not, Durango, I paid for their use. You’re costing me ten thousand dollars, so you’ll have to earn your money one way or another. Is this such a bad requirement?”

  “Since you are the boss lady, I have to do as you say.”

  “Good,” she murmured, kissing him provocatively. “No more restraint, Marsh, let’s just be ourselves. Give me whatever part of yourself that you can share; I’ll expect nothing more.”

  As he nibbled on her ear, he teased, “That’s mighty generous of you, ma’am, because I’m a greedy cuss.”