It was the reason he was still a virgin.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Logan returned to his room and found Dani’s book for Regan on his pillow. He stared at it, wanting to snatch it up and devour every one of her words, yet couldn’t bring himself to touch it. How long he stood there looking at it, he didn’t know.
To put off reading the book, he showered, brushed his teeth, and shaved. He packed even though they weren’t leaving for two days, called Buchanan, called Mrs. Jankowski, called Maria. When he could think of nothing else to do, he settled back on the pillows of his bed and picked up the book. As he held it in his hands, he feared Dani’s words would revive the regret and guilt at the death of his friend. This was going to kill him, but he turned to the first page and began to read.
Reaching the last page, he read the words Dani had chosen to end the story, and then read them again.
Every night before going to sleep, Regan went to her window and searched the night sky until she found the brightest star. “Good night, Daddy,” she would whisper. That night, when she turned for bed, she stopped and looked back at the star. “I know you would have loved me. I know you are in heaven and watching out for me. Mommy has told me all about you. I love you, Daddy, but your jokes were really silly.”
Logan laughed. “No shit, Evan, your jokes really were bad.”
He sucked in a breath, realizing he’d just laughed for the first time when thinking of Evan. Though written for a child, the story had drawn him in. Dani had dealt with the subject of death in a straightforward, poignant manner. It was a story of hope and love, one of acceptance. In a way he didn’t understand, her words eased his heart. He flipped back until he found the page he wanted.
Regan’s mommy tapped her heart. “Your daddy lives here, in your heart. He’s with you every day and always will be. I’ll tell you stories about him. I’ll tell you all his silly jokes because I want you to know how wonderful and funny he was. I have a present for you.”
She handed Regan a beautiful jeweled-top box. “This will be your Daddy Memory Box, and we’ll write down all the things you don’t want to forget and put them in it. They will be memories of your daddy you can treasure forever.”
Regan took the box from her mother and opened it. “It’s empty,” she said.
Her mommy nodded. “Yes, that’s because it’s up to you to decide what to put in it.”
“I want to put something in it right now. I want to put a silly daddy joke in it,” Regan said.
“All right. How about this one. It was one of Daddy’s favorites. Why isn’t your nose twelve inches long?”
Regan shook her head. “I give up.”
“Because it would be a foot!”
Logan smiled and traced the words of the joke with a finger. Treasured memories. He had his own Evan memories and bad Evan jokes, although the ones Evan delighted in telling the team were not printable in a children’s book.
What was it she’d said? He searched for the page.
“Daddy wouldn’t want us to be sad, Regan. He didn’t want to leave us, but he did, and it would hurt him if he knew we didn’t learn how to be happy again.”
It was the honest-to-God truth. If Evan knew Logan blamed himself for his death—that the guilt was eating him alive—his friend would be royally pissed, would probably beat the shit out of him on general principle. Putting the book aside, he stood and went to the window, searching the sky until he found the brightest star.
Evan’s last words had been to make Logan promise to take care of his wife and child. “I wish you’d been more specific about just how far I could take that promise, Cowboy.”
Feeling silly talking to a star, he turned away, but like the girl in the story, he stopped and turned back. “I’ll never let your daughter forget you, my friend.”
Logan’s plan to sneak Dani and Regan out of Asheville was simple. They invited Jared and Scott over for drinks and appetizers on the back deck. Throughout the next two hours, each of them made several trips in and out of the house.
If Dickhead was out there, Logan wanted to lull him into believing they were either going to the bathroom or refreshing drinks. Halfway through the evening, Scott left and snuck the suitcases out the front, putting them in his car.
At nine, Logan judged it was dark enough. “It’s time, Dani. Get Regan and get in the car.”
“I feel like I’m in a James Bond movie.” She giggled and reached for her glass.
“No,” he said, “leave it here, like you’re coming back.”
“Right, Double-O-Seven. Leave the glass.” Giving another chuckle, she walked inside.
“I think your girl’s a little nervous, Logan,” Jared observed.
“Can’t say I blame her,” Scott said. “It’s really spooky knowing some creep’s watching you.”
Logan’s hands fisted. “And when I find him, he’s going to wish he never heard her name. Listen, I’ve given you his description, so both of you be extra alert. I don’t think he’ll bother you, but once he realizes she’s missing, I don’t know how he’ll react. You’ve got my cell number. If anything happens, no matter how insignificant you think it is, call me.”
“When will you be back?” Scott asked.
Logan hadn’t told them where they were going, and both seemed smart enough not to ask. He saw no reason not to answer Scott’s question. “Not sure yet. Regan has an appointment with her pediatrician a week from Thursday, so we’ll be back in time for that.”
“I don’t much like the idea of a cult involved in this,” Jared said.
“That makes two of us.” Logan stood. “You both know what to do.” He picked up his empty glass, walked inside, and set it on the table. Grabbing the ball cap that matched the one Jared wore, he put it on, walked out of the house, and got into the passenger side of the car.
“You okay back there?” he asked.
“Yes, sir, Double-O-Seven, over and out,” Dani answered from her prone position on the backseat.
He grinned. “You do know where all Bond’s girls end up, don’t you?”
“Oh yeah.”
From the way she sighed her answer, Logan thought he just might lose his virginity in Pensacola. Long ago, he had made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t sleep with a woman he didn’t love. He’d been tempted to break the vow many times since then, but the boy who was determined to be a better man had stood fast.
Well, both he and the boy were in love with the woman he was taking home with him, so he prayed it was finally going to happen, please God. He still had to talk to Mrs. Jankowski, but he was beginning to believe that if he and Evan had thought to have a conversation about Dani’s future should something happen, Evan would have slapped him on the back and said, “I trust you to do right by her.”
Scott walked out of the cabin, and Logan ducked his head, keeping his eyes closed when the overhead light came on. As soon as the door closed and darkness descended again, he opened them and peered out into the night. No hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and he was confident they’d gotten away with their ruse.
Scott sat there a few seconds, then started the car. “Now what?”
Logan refrained from rolling his eyes. “Now you drive us to the airport.”
Dani considered herself a world traveler. From as far back as she could remember, she’d flown here and there with her parents, always in first class on a commercial airliner. But as she looked around the lush interior of the Learjet Logan had chartered, she—used to what money could buy—was impressed.
How the hell could he afford it? Somehow, she would have to find a way to reimburse him without wounding his pride. Whatever the cost, it would be worth it to see Logan’s home, to meet the people who mattered to him. She peered out the jet’s window at the twinkling lights thousands of feet below.
The question she kept asking herself w
ith no clear answer reared up again. What did she want from him? At first, it had been to keep her and Regan safe. She had no doubt he could do that.
But did she want to have an affair with him? Yes. God yes. Without her understanding how, she’d started thinking she wanted more. But what did that mean? Was she thinking long term?
She could almost see them growing old together. Deep in her heart, she knew Evan would approve. Her husband had always wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. She could have been happy with him forever, but he had left her—had gone and died.
Sometimes she resented him for that. He could have left the SEALs before that last mission, as his six years were up. Yet, because his team needed him, he’d reenlisted even after she’d told him she might be pregnant. Well, she’d needed him, too, but that hadn’t seemed to matter.
“We’re flying over Montgomery,” Logan said.
“How do you know?” His mouth was inches from hers as he leaned forward to peer out the window. If she turned her head, their lips would meet. Her heart did a funny little flutter, the way it had when she was first falling in love with Evan. She resisted the urge to kiss him.
“By the position of the stars.”
He sat back in his seat and she missed his warmth. “I don’t believe you. Fess up, you’re just guessing.”
That earned her an amused chuckle. Opening his hand, he showed her the GPS. He slipped it into the magazine pouch in front of him and then gestured at Regan. “She travels well.”
Dani glanced at her sleeping daughter. “I thought we’d be going commercial and was worried she would be one of those babies everyone wants to throw out of the plane because they won’t stop crying.”
He touched Regan’s hand and she grasped his finger. “That was one reason I chartered a flight.”
His eyes softened when Regan’s little fingers wrapped around his. He would make a good father. Where did these thoughts keep coming from? Was she falling for him? It wasn’t what she had thought she wanted. Even though he was no longer a SEAL, from what she understood, his company had government contracts. Did he go on secret missions? She had no wish to relive the agony of kissing a man good-bye and then sitting home praying he would return safely. She just couldn’t do it again.
“You’ve gone away. What are you thinking?”
She jerked her gaze to his. “I was wondering exactly what your company does.”
“This and that,” he said with a shrug.
“Such as?”
Maybe he saw the determination in her eyes, because he sighed. “Mostly consulting with companies on security, everything from teaching a CEO’s driver evasive tactics to how to protect their computers from hackers, both domestic and foreign.”
She could live with that, but what wasn’t he telling her? “And the government, what do you do for them? Are you involved in any black ops?”
His eyes shuttered. “I’ll take you on a tour of K2 Special Services while we’re in Pensacola.”
Nothing like evading her question. She would let it go for now, but not for long. “I assume the K is for Kincaid, but why the 2?”
“Stands for two Kincaids. Maria’s shown an interest, and I’m hoping she’ll come on board after she graduates law school.”
It was humbling to think of the two children who’d defied the odds and made something of themselves. Having been born into money and sheltered from the darker side of life, her childhood had been the polar opposite. Her parents donated large sums of money to their favorite charities, held and attended fund-raising events for the less fortunate. It now seemed ironic those occasions usually involved black ties and glittering gowns, champagne and caviar. Had any of those fat checks signed by diamond-clad fingers made a difference in someone’s life the way Mrs. Jankowski had?
Dani couldn’t wait to meet the woman who’d saved a thieving boy and his sister. What would Logan’s future have been if he hadn’t tried to steal from her? She peeked up at the man she liked more and more. He had his GPS out again, studying it. He did love his toys.
“Where do you think you would be today if not for Mrs. Jankowski?”
Black lashes lifted and deep brown eyes focused on her. “In prison or dead.”
And what a gimongous waste that would have been. She reached over and squeezed his hand. “Then I thank God for your Mrs. Jankowski.”
His gaze moved to her hand on his. He turned his palm up and slipped his fingers between hers. “So do I. Every day.”
As they sat in a comfortable silence, Dani closed her eyes, concentrating on the feel of touching him, loving the way he made her feel safe and protected. Warmth flowed from his skin into hers, and when he began stroking his thumb over hers, tingles of pleasure floated up her arm, causing goose bumps. She shivered and opened her eyes to find Logan watching her, one side of his mouth curved in a curiously shy smile.
Her heart and stomach reacted as if she were on a roller-coaster ride. “Logan,” she whispered.
“Dani,” he answered, and lowered his mouth to hers.
“Mama,” Regan cried.
Damn, her daughter had the worst timing in the world.
He raised his head, brought her hand to his lips, and kissed her knuckles. “My lady, you could make a man forget his name.”
Dani narrowed her eyes. She had written those exact words. “Have you been reading my books?”
Grinning, he reached down and pulled a paperback out of his tote. Dani read the title. The Countess Takes a Lover. Well, crap, the book in which she’d used him as the model for her hero. Did he realize?
“Is it my imagination or does your hero look a little like me?”
Okay, he did. She didn’t need a mirror to know her face glowed bright red. His amused laughter irritated the hell out of her. Regan cried again and Dani turned her attention to her daughter, glad to have a reason to ignore him.
He picked up the GPS and studied it. “You have about twenty minutes to feed her before we land.”
“I need to change her diaper first.”
The look on his face was comical. “Uh . . . I need to speak to the pilot.”
Holy moly, the man could move fast. “Wimp,” she called after him.
“And not ashamed of it,” he replied before disappearing into the cockpit.
When they deplaned at the executive hanger, Jake Buchanan was there to meet them. Dani grinned when she saw him. She’d met all the guys on Evan’s team, and he was one of her favorites. The man was an unabashed flirt and apparently hadn’t changed.
He wrapped his arms around her. “Hello, beautiful, have you missed me?” he asked, and gave her a smack on the lips.
Laughing, she hugged him back. “Never doubt it.” She glanced over his shoulder at Logan. He was scowling at Jake, but the baby he held in the crook of his arm diminished the effect.
“Kincaid’s glaring at the back of my head, isn’t he?” Jake whispered.
She grinned and nodded.
He winked and then put his mouth close to her ear. “He needs a good woman to turn his life upside down. Are you up to the task?”
“Maybe,” she murmured.
Jake stepped back and turned to Logan. “Hey, boss man, what you got there?”
“That’s my daughter, Regan,” Dani said.
“She’s got her daddy’s eyes,” Jake said softly. He stepped up and clucked Regan under her chin. “Hey, gorgeous.”
Regan giggled and hid her face in Logan’s neck, one little hand clutching his ear. Logan leaned his cheek against Regan’s head, and when he closed his eyes and inhaled her daughter’s scent, Dani’s heartbeat stuttered. Why wasn’t there a chair nearby she could sink her bottom onto?
“Boss man’s a goner all right,” Jake murmured from next to her.
“Make yourself useful, Buchanan, and load our suitcases.”
; Dani walked to the car with Logan and helped him buckle in Regan. “You think of everything, don’t you?”
“Most of the time, but Buchanan gets the credit for thinking of bringing a car seat.”
She climbed into the backseat with Regan and watched the passing scenery as they drove to Logan’s house, eager to see where he lived. When she’d asked on the plane, he had shrugged and would only say, “You’ll see,” which made her all the more curious. Would his home give her clues about the man?
After a twenty-minute ride, part of which took them over a causeway, Jake turned onto a cobblestone driveway. Though it was dark out, she thought she’d glimpsed the ocean between two houses a few minutes before. She wished it were day so she could get a good look at the house, but landscape lighting illuminated the place well enough to get the impression it was big. They pulled into a garage under the house and Logan got out, opening her door. She took the hand he offered and stepped out of the car.
Surprising her, he lifted her chin with his finger and kissed her. “Welcome to my home, Dani.”
The words were soft, as if they came from his heart, as if it was important to him that she was there. She placed her palm on his chest and felt the beat of his heart. “Thank you for bringing me.”
As soon as they unbuckled Regan, her daughter reached for Logan. “Wont Gan.”
Jeez, the silly girl was head over heels in love with the man. Amused, Dani let him take Regan. When this was over—for her daughter’s sake—she was going to make him promise to visit often. She snorted. For Regan’s sake? Who was she kidding?
“Did you say something?” he asked.
“Nope, not a thing.”
His eyes searched hers before he finally turned away and she could breathe again. Whatever this thing was that was building between them, it couldn’t stay contained much longer. If something didn’t happen soon—the sooner, the better—she just might combust.
Dani didn’t doubt he would be the most experienced lover with whom she’d ever slept. Just look at him. With that body and face, all he had to do was crook a finger and women would fall at his feet.
Crazy for Her (A K2 Team Novel) Page 12