“Me, too. I’ll meet you in the upstairs cafeteria. We gotta talk. There’s Grayson’s class right there,” I say, then stop walking and point. I didn’t go any closer ’cause I didn’t want to see her. “I gotta go this way. My next class is downstairs. I’ll see you at lunch.”
“All right, see you,” she says, then turns to Ms. Grayson’s classroom. I head to the stairs, then turn when I hear Neeka call my name. “Kenisha, hey, I forgot to tell you. I saw you on YouTube last night. Damn, girl, you are really good. I didn’t even think it was you at first.”
“Me what?” I ask.
“Hello, Kenisha.”
I turn, seeing Ms. Grayson come out of her classroom to stand in the hall like she usually does. Most teachers do it to make sure there’s no trouble in the halls. It doesn’t work.
“Hi, Ms. Grayson,” I say, then turn back to Neeka, waiting for her to tell me what she’s talking about—me on YouTube.
“I understand you missed my class yesterday,” Ms. Grayson adds, looking right at me.
I roll my eyes. Not now, I think to myself as I consider just walking away. But I know Ms. Grayson. She doesn’t give up on anything that easily. So just ignoring her, hoping she’ll go away, isn’t going to do it. I turn to her. “I know. I forgot to get a note. I had an appointment with my doctor yesterday afternoon.” It was the truth. I did have an appointment with Tubbs. I figure she doesn’t have to know that I didn’t go.
“Okay, make sure you get me a note for the absence so I don’t keep you marked as unexcused absent.”
“I will,” I say just as Neeka gives her the schedule. Ms. Grayson checks out the schedule, then gives it back.
“I’ll see you at lunch,” Neeka says, then goes inside.
“Kenisha, get to class,” Ms. Grayson says.
Damn. I still have no idea what Neeka’s talking about—me on YouTube last night. What does that mean? I didn’t put anything up on YouTube. My cell phone vibrates again. I can’t answer because I know I need to make it to class or be late. I hurry downstairs and get to my classroom.
A lot of students are already seated. I sit down and then check my cell. I have a text message from Jade, Jalisa and Diamond and a tweet from Li’l T. I check out Jade’s, Diamond’s and Jalisa’s messages. They all ask me about YouTube. Okay, now this is getting too weird. I have no idea what’s happening on YouTube! I check out Li’l T’s first message and open his attachment. My jaw drops. Oh, shit! Just wait until I get my hands on him. I swear, I’m gonna strangle him.
The late bell rings. I look up—everybody’s in class and our teacher clears his throat. “All right, class, settle down. Let’s get started. Open your textbooks to page…”
kenishi_wa K Lewis
@Lil_T_istheman i told you not to video me and you did it, anyway. plus you put it up on youtube! you are in so much trouble! 55 minutes ago
Six
Screamin’ Out Loud
kenishi_wa K Lewis
Finding your voice isn’t all that hard to do. You just have to look deep down inside and free your pain. After that, just let it loose. If you’re lucky, somebody will hear you.
27 Apr * Like * Comment * Share
kenishi_wa K Lewis
@Lil_T_istheman where are you?! 1 minute ago
all through class I keep thinking about what I saw—me dancing on stage. Near the end of class I leave another text message for Li’l T. Then as soon as the fourth period bell rings I start looking for him. I check all of his usual hangouts—the weight room, the school nurse, the library and, of course, the area right outside the girls’ locker room. I can’t find him anywhere. He knows I’m pissed. That’s why his chicken ass is hiding from me.
Six text messages and two phone calls later, I’m still waiting for him to hit me up. Any other time he’d be all over me, up in my business and getting on my nerves. But now he’s nowhere in sight. Next I head to the first-floor cafeteria. It’s the first lunch of the day and I’ve seen him hanging out down here a few times. I’m not sure what his schedule is or what classes he has, but I know he sometimes stops by to hang with his friends. But of course today he’s not here.
I walk past the lunch line and look around. Then I see two of his friends sitting at a lunch table, talking and eating their food, so I go over to them. “Hey, have y’all seen Li’l T?” I ask. They look at each other and then up at me like I’m speaking a foreign language. “Hello,” I say slower, “have you seen Li’l T?”
They look at each other again and I know there’s a lie coming. “Uh, nah, we ain’t seen him all day. I don’t know if he came to school today.”
“Yeah, I think he’s home sick today,” the other one adds, and then glances at his friend and starts eating again.
I know they’re lying. “Well, when you see him, tell him Kenisha is looking for him.” Neither acknowledges my request one way or the other, so I scan the room one more time. Then I see Neeka walk into the cafeteria and look around. I forgot all about meeting her. I head over to her.
“Hey, there you are,” she says, coming in the door just as I was leaving. “I thought you said you’d be at the second-floor cafeteria.”
“I did. I came down looking for this guy, but he’s not here,” I say, looking around one last time before heading out. “Come on. The lines upstairs are always shorter by now.” We go upstairs and get in the lunch line. Pizza, chicken tenders, subs and Stromboli are the top choices. We each get a slice of pizza and grab a bottle of water, then find a seat in the back of the cafeteria.
“Are you okay? You look pissed,” Neeka asks.
“I’m fine, just more stupid drama to deal with.”
She shakes her head. “Yeah, I know how that goes. I’m so sick of dealing with other people’s drama interrupting my life.”
“I know, right,” I say.
“That’s why I’m so glad to be out of Hazelhurst.”
“Why, what happened?” I ask.
“Just stupid stuff,” she says without saying much more. “I got into a fight and you know their ‘zero tolerance’ rule.…”
“Yeah, I know that rule too well.” We laugh ’cause just about everybody knows why I got kicked out of Hazelhurst.
“Girl, I saw that fight you had with Regan at the beginning of the school year. I used to hang with her, but I can’t deal with her stuck-up, wannabe drama now. She’d never admit it but everyone knows you kicked her ass. They’re still talking about that. They call her ‘hallway hair’ and you know they still be picking weave up off the floor, don’t you?”
We really laugh this time. Then I just shake my head, thinking while she keeps talking. The thing is the fight was stupid and a bad decision on my part. It wasn’t really my fault—well, maybe some of it was. Regan said something about my mother and it was way too soon to be messing with me about that. It pissed me off, so I hit her. I just didn’t stop.
My grandmother was right. Life’s all about the decisions we make and the consequences that follow. That one instantly changed my life and like a pebble in a pond it’s still rippling wider and wider. But it’s over with now. And at least I don’t have to deal with Regan ever again. “So did your family move here or are you still living in Virginia?” I ask her.
“My dad’s military. He’s doing another tour overseas. My mom and I just moved to D.C. to be closer to her job. It was either stay at Hazelhurst and commute, or go to private school here in D.C.”
“This isn’t private. Why not go to another private here?”
“To tell you the truth, I’m tired of private schools. That’s all I’ve ever gone to—all girls and private. Boring,” she says. “I want something different.”
“So you came here,” I say, shaking my head, not getting it. “I don’t know why anyone would choose to
come here of all places. It’s like the worst school in the city.”
“What do you mean? Penn Hall is one of the top rated and one of the best public schools in the district.”
“Top rated, one of the best, no way. Who told you that?” I ask, trying my best not to burst out laughing in her face ’cause she seriously got played with some messed-up information.
“My mom and I checked it out. Penn Hall is a public school for neighborhood kids, but it’s also a magnet school for exceptional students. Students from all over the city get vouchers to come here, so it’s right up there with the best.”
Okay, all that sounds too weird. I never heard anything like that before. This is just a regular old inner-city high school—no big deal. I’m thinking Neeka has her facts all screwed up. This is definitely not the school she thinks it is. There’s nothing exceptional about this place or its students.
“Hey. What’s up?”
I turn, seeing Ursula sit down across from me. She’s sipping on a fruit juice while texting. “Hey,” I say, and then try texting Li’l T yet again.
“I’m Ursula,” she says to Neeka.
“Yeah, I think you’re in my chemistry class next period,” Neeka says.
“I think so, too.” Ursula sips her drink again.
“Ursula, this is Neeka. She and I used to go to the same school in Virginia.”
“When’d you transfer in?”
“Tuesday, but they keep messing with my schedule. I’ve had three class schedules already. Half the time I have no idea where I’m supposed to be.”
“Hazelhurst, right?” We both nod. “Damn, what are they doing over there?” Ursula says to us. We look at her confused. She shakes her head, smiling. “It must be an epidemic or something. There was a girl in my last class who just transferred here from there, too.”
“From Hazelhurst— Who?” I ask. She shrugs, shaking her head.
I look at Neeka. She chuckles to herself, then smiles. “Wouldn’t it be funny if it was Regan and then you’d…” Neeka stops talking and holds her hand to her mouth. “Oh, shit, that’s right. I almost forgot about that. I heard she was leaving Hazelhurst, but I have no idea where she’s going. Oh, shit.”
I just look at her, shaking my head. “No, Neeka, it wouldn’t be funny,” I say. Having Regan Payne come to the Penn would be almost as bad as having Chili Rodriguez come here. I hate both of them.
“Who’s Regan?” Ursula asks, putting her cell phone down.
“Nobody,” I say quickly. Neeka starts laughing.
“What?” Ursula says, looking at us. “Tell me, what?”
I roll my eyes. “Fine, whatever,” I say.
Neeka leans in close and so does Ursula. I drink the rest of my drink and try to ignore them. “Okay,” Neeka begins, “at the beginning of the school year Kenisha and Regan got into a fight. It was huge. The whole school knew about it. Kenisha got kicked out of school but Regan didn’t, even though everyone knows she started it. But her uncle or cousin or something like that is on the board of directors.
“Anyway, Regan used to have all this long hair and she always said it was hers. So while they were fighting Kenisha grabbed her hoodie and then yanked her weave out. There was fake hair all over the hallway. They still joke about Regan’s weave being on the floor. They call her ‘hallway hair.’ Like if you’re late for class they say, ‘I tripped on Regan’s hair.’” Neeka was laughing so hard she barely got the story out and Ursula was almost in tears. Students around us started turning around staring.
Okay, yeah, I was laughing, too, but seriously, I wasn’t feeling the other part. Regan. Here. Hell, no. Then all of the sudden I remember why me and Neeka never became good friends. She’s a’ight and all, but she just can’t keep her big mouth shut.
So we’re still talking about hanging out at Hazelhurst and the students there when I see Troy come in the cafeteria. He looks around and then he sees me. He starts walking toward our table. I immediately start praying he keeps on walking, but I have a feeling he won’t. As usual, most of the girls sitting at the tables around mine stop what they’re doing and just start whispering and staring at him. I shake my head. No wonder he has the ego he has.
So he comes over and sits down right next to me. He doesn’t say anything. He just eyes me and smiles. Just about everybody around us stares and starts whispering. It’s obvious they’re talking about me. Even Neeka and Ursula are smiling like they all of the sudden know something. Troy just keeps staring at me. “Yes?” I say, finally turning to him.
He smiles. His deep dimples pierce his cheeks. “Are you finally answering my question from last night?”
“What question?” I ask. He just smiles, stands up and walks away. “Whatever.” I shake my head. I’m pissed, ’cause he knows exactly what he just did. He started everybody talking about us and I know that’s exactly what he wants.
“Oh, my God, who the hell is that? Is he the guy you were looking for downstairs?” Neeka asks with an expression on her face that I know too well. It’s the same look on the face of most of the girls at the school whenever Troy walks by.
“Hell, no,” I say.
“That’s Troy Dawson,” Ursula adds with unneeded emphasis.
“Damn, he is gorgeous. Are y’all hanging out?”
“No, definitely not,” I say.
“Girl, you should get with him. He’s obviously interested.”
“But I’m not and he’s definitely not my type.”
Ursula laughs. “Excuse me, but Troy is every girl’s type.”
“Well, not mine. Besides, I already have someone—remember Terrence? He’s in college and we’re—” Just then the first bell rings. We quickly grab our books, dump our trays and head out. “I’ll see you later.”
“Okay, see you later,” Ursula and Neeka say, heading to their class. As soon as I leave the cafeteria I see Troy down the hall. He looks at me and smiles knowingly. I just shake my head and keep walking. I have no idea what his problem is or what he thinks he’s doing and I really don’t care.
My cell vibrates. I check it. I have a text message from Li’l T. I hurry to class. The door is open and the lights are on. I go in and take my seat. Right now I’m the only one here. I pull my cell out, sit down in my seat and read his message. Hey, K, I hear you’re looking for me.
I roll my eyes and start typing as fast as I can just as a few more students start coming into the classroom. Where are you? I type.
Had an appointment today, he types. Did you see it?
Yeah.
What do you think?
Take it down now!
Seven
Are You Nuts?
kenishi_wa K Lewis
When people try to help you out it’s really just them helping themselves out. Everybody gets used. It’s like musical chairs. The thing is not to be the last used person standing.
27 Apr * Like * Comment * Share
thankfully my last two classes of the day fly by fast. Before I know it the bell rings and I’m the first person out of the room. My locker is right down the hall, so I get there, toss the books I don’t need in, grab what I do and then get out of there. As soon as I slam my locker closed and head to the exit my cell vibrates. I get outside and answer. I know its Li’l T, so I don’t even check my caller ID. I’m wrong. It’s not. “Baby girl.”
Crap. As soon as I hear my dad’s nickname for me I know I’ve got drama coming. He’s like that. Drama follows him like a twelve-o’clock shadow—it’s always right under his feet. Of course he brings it all on himself. His life is nothing but stupid “baby mama” drama on top of “I can only think about myself” drama with an extra large helping of “I just can’t step up and be a man” drama.
But that was before. Now he’s been
ignoring me for weeks. Every since we caught Courtney, his girlfriend, in his office about to do the nasty with her lawyer on his desk, he’s been acting all “I’m gonna be a real father.” She does whatever he says and he likes it. He tells her to jump and she starts jumping jacks. It’s pathetic, so I haven’t been there to visit in a while. I do miss my little brothers, though.
But the funny thing is he expects me to just roll over and go along with it—not. I still laugh about that shit.
“Baby girl, are you there?” he says.
“Yeah, hi, Dad, what’s up?” I say, already expecting drama. My voice is low and barely audible.
“Can you hear me? I’m gonna pick you up from school today, so I want you to wait for me. I’ll meet you right outside. I’m leaving the office now so I should be there in about fifteen minutes.”
First of all, what, is he nuts? Does he really expect me to be sitting around outside of this school building waiting for him to pick me up like I’m in kindergarten? See, I knew his drama was gonna try and turn into my drama. I seriously do not want to be waiting outside for my dad to pick me up from school. Then secondly, there’s no way he’s gonna be here in fifteen minutes. D.C. going home on a Friday after work means traffic in the city is insane—he’d be lucky if he gets here in half an hour. Either way it’s not going to happen. “Kenisha. Kenisha. Are you there?” I’m so busy being annoyed that I forget to answer him. “Kenisha?”
I smile. “Dad, if you’re still there I can barely hear you.” I talk louder. He starts to repeat what he just said and I just smile to myself. I interrupt him midway. “Dad, listen I’m headed home from school now. I’ll call you when I get to Grandmom’s house. Okay, see ya.” I end the call and keep walking. A block from the house I see Li’l T on the other side of the street. He’s talking with a couple of guys I don’t recognize. I call out to him. He turns and waves. I get ready to cross the street, but I see him shaking hands and bumping shoulders with the guys and then he turns to come across the street to meet me. I wait for him as traffic passes and he weaves his way through. He’s smiling as he approaches. “Hey, did you see it?” he yells as he crosses. I can’t believe it—he’s all excited.
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