She glanced up at the angry tone of his voice.
“Why didn’t you tell me then?” he demanded. “Why didn’t you tell me about all of this?”
“This place has been haunting me for years, Adam. It was too much to pour out at a crowded fair.”
“But you could have told me afterward.” He moved over to the sofa, standing close enough to her that she could feel the electricity rising like heat waves between them.
She shook her head in wonder. She had been so terrified of coming back to the cabin, so scared to face her memories, but they had lost their guilty hold over her. It was wonderful to feel so free and alive again.
“I suppose this is where you’ll be wanting to live?” he asked resignedly.
She looked over at him. His face was bleak as he stared around the room, evaluating his options. “Is this the price I have to pay to be with you?” He took a heavy, slow breath and the furrows on his forehead seemed to etch themselves even deeper.
“No! No!” She insisted. “That’s not what I meant at all.”
Adam’s voice was mild, but his eyes showed pain as he picked up a duck decoy Danny had carved. Sighing, he placed it gently back down again. He looked tired and she wanted to ease the look of despair from his face. “I love you,” he said matter-of-factly. “I suppose I can try to live with a ghost. For a time at least, while we sort out our own peace.”
She stared at him, shocked. “You’d live here? With me?”
“I’d live here because of you.” He looked around. “I’ll need to reconnect the power to this place, mind you and have several more phone lines brought in. But if this is where you want to live, then so be it.”
She couldn’t let him go on thinking that way. “You have it all wrong, Adam. I don’t want you living here.”
He finally exploded. “I’m not letting you stay here alone! As long as you’re here, I’m here!” His voice grew pleading. “You love me, Micki. You already told me that. So why don’t you let me stay where I can take care of you.”
“I needed your help to face my memories,” she explained softly. He turned away from her, as if he were trying to block out her words. “I needed your help to face the cabin again. And now,” she spoke slowly and deliberately. “I’ll need your help to sell it.”
He turned toward her slowly, as if he didn’t believe his ears. “You want to sell the cabin?”
“That’s right.” She smiled at him. “I want us to sell this place. If you’ll help, that is.”
He sighed and took her hand, lightly touching her fingers with his. “You don’t have to sell. Not if it means that much to you.”
She was touched by the sacrifice he was offering. “Thank you, Adam,” she said warmly. “But I don’t want this place in the back of my mind, haunting me. Don’t you understand? This is my chance to be set free.”
“Free from what, Micki?”
“From my memories.” Finally, she could admit the truth to herself. “Free from my guilt.”
“Guilt about the accident? Darling, it wasn’t your fault. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“Thank you, Adam.” Impulsively she squeezed his hand. “That means more to me than you can ever know. Just being able to talk to you about it helps.”
“You can always talk to me, Micki. I’ll never stop listening.”
She smiled at him, then glanced around the room, her smile fading. “There’s even more to it then that, though. I’ve always felt guilty for abandoning this place when Danny died. It was like I was abandoning my loyalty to him. And to my parents. But this was Danny’s dream, not mine. A cabin in the woods. Being self-sufficient. He’s the one who wanted this place. I really have no interest in living here.”
“Are you sure Micki? This is an important decision. Why don’t you think about it for a while—”
“Absolutely not!” She was adamant. “This cabin was an overwhelming memory for me. A colossal albatross that I couldn’t seem to get around. It was awful because I couldn’t bear to come back. I needed to face it, but I couldn’t do it alone.” She sighed. “The day I met you changed my life. I’m a lucky lady to have found you Adam.”
“I’m glad you feel that way.” Adam was looking at her intently.
Something in his voice disturbed her and she turned her full attention to the man standing beside her. This was Adam. Easy, self-confident, laughing Adam. Her best friend. Hopefully, soon to be her lover and her husband. The most imperturbable man she had ever met and he was looking at her now with a tense, unhappy expression. He seemed miserable and it was all her fault.
Adam had literally saved her life by staying with her, loving her, following her even when she was trying to run away. And now he seemed uncertain, unsure of what to say next. Jan was right, she had acted like a fool and made some stupid choices. Well Adam was with her now and she wasn’t going to let him get away!
“Where will you be living?” He sounded hesitant. “Are you still moving to Salt Lake City?”
“I hope not.” She touched his cheek, brushing the sides of his eyes, trying to draw the pain away from his face. “But that’s up to you, now.”
Adam reached up to capture her hand, moving it to his mouth and kissing the palm with a sudden, hungry need. Wrapping her free hand around his neck, Micki bent his face down to meet hers. His lips were soft and cool against hers, light and restrained. It was a sweet kiss, but she wanted so much more.
Micki moved her hands down against his back and pulled herself against him. Her breasts were hard and taut and she rubbed them tantalizingly against his chest. She shifted her legs against his so she could feel the full hard length of his body and feel his desire pressing against her.
“I love you, Adam Laurence,” she whispered. “More than I can ever tell you. I’m sorry I ever thought I could leave you.” Some of the tension left his shoulders at her words and she held him tighter. “Please take me back.”
His hands dropped to her waist and he fit his hips against hers, rocking her slowly. “It’s so good to have you with me again,” he murmured against her cheek. “I thought I’d go crazy when you said you were leaving me.”
“It hurt me too. So much.” She moved a step, her hands still against his back, drawing him with her, until she was pressed between him and the edge of the sofa. His mouth fell to her shoulders, kissing her with deep, shuddering abandon. She moved her hands down, pressing him even closer against her, loving the feel of his kisses on her neck, his breath against her skin, the hard pressure of his arousal against her hip. She pulled his shirt out of his waistband and touched her cool hands to his heated flesh.
Adam raised his head with a ragged gasp. “Wait. Stop.” He pulled away roughly. “I don’t think I can do this in front of Danny’s ghost.”
Micki groaned, instantly missing the heat of his body. “I don’t think he’d mind,” she protested, trying to draw him close to her again. “It’s been three years. I think he’d wish us joy.”
He placed his hands on her shoulders, holding her at arm’s length. “I don’t want to chance it. You weave too strong of a spell on men. Besides, he’s already had a powerful effect on our love life. I think we should leave his cabin in peace.”
She sighed regretfully. “All right, but I’m only doing this under protest. And I demand a chance to show you what you just missed, once we’re back at your place.”
“It’s a deal.” Adam strengthened his grip on her shoulders and his voice grew husky. “My beautiful, stubborn, red-haired Micki. Do you think you could trade a cabin in the woods for a plain old house in Seattle?”
“I think I can manage that.” She laughed out loud in joy and it felt so good, she laughed again. She felt light as air and as happy as she’d ever been in her life. “I think a plain old house in Seattle sounds like a wonderful place to spend my life.” She was suddenly serious. “Adam, thank you for coming back. Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“I had to see you again. I realized I was
projecting my anger at my mother onto you. She abandoned us, you know. She cheated on Father and left us, just like you were leaving me.”
“Adam, I’m sorry.” Micki could feel tears well up for his sorrow.
“It’s okay, now. I understand. There is so much more to a relationship than just one side. I have to learn to see both points of view.”
Micki placed a hand on his shoulder. “Do you think you can ever forgive your mother for what she did?”
Adam sighed. “It’s hard to believe there’s ever a good reason for cheating and leaving your children. But after all these years, I suppose I could try to talk to her.”
“Could we visit her, do you think? In fact, I can’t wait to meet all your family.”
“I’d like that. I think she’d like that too.” He thought of his revelations earlier in the day. “Oh God, Micki. This going to be wonderful.” He pulled her roughly against his chest. “Just don’t ever try to leave me again.”
“Never.” She spoke the word like a solemn vow. “I promise.”
He kissed the top of her hair, then added with brisk determination, “I’m buying you a dog. A faithful, loyal, Golden Retriever with soft brown eyes who’ll follow you around everywhere and guilt you into staying with me. You’ll never be able to leave then.”
She nodded, her eyes dreamy. “A dog would be wonderful. And a garden. I’d like to have a garden again. There are so many pleasures in life I’ve been missing out on by moving so much.”
“Maybe we could bring some of this back with us,” Adam offered, looking around the room. “The things you were especially fond of. The afghan? The pottery? The photographs?”
“I don’t know,” she said doubtfully. “I’m thinking it’s time for a giant garage sale.”
“I hate to see you throw this away. You should build on your past to make your life with me.” He gestured around them. “This is all part of who you are and I love who you are. I don’t want to lose any of it.”
The sheer generosity of his offer overwhelmed her. “You wouldn’t mind displaying some of this in your house?”
“Our house,” he corrected. “And I don’t mind as long as it’s me you’re in love with.”
“It’s you all right. I’ve loved you since the first day we met.”
He shook his head with mock annoyance. “Now she admits it. Why in the world did I have to fall for a mule-headed woman who takes hard-to-get to new and soaring heights?”
“I’m a completely different person now,” she objected. “You’ll see. No more hard-to-get.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”
“It’s true,” she protested. “I’m going to be totally serious from now on. No more games, okay?”
“No more games?” He frowned.
She nodded.
“That’s too bad. Because I have a game for you.” She loved seeing him smile again, loved watching the crinkled laugh lines gather around his deep blue eyes.
“Well.” She watched him warily. “Tell me what it is and I’ll see if I can make an exception.”
He shook his head. “I can’t tell you.”
“What? Why not?” she demanded.
“Because we can’t play it here. We’re going to have to go back to my house to play this game. And then…” He placed his hands against her face, gently caressing her smooth skin with his thumbs. “And then I’ll show you just exactly how much I love you.”
“I’d like to play that game,” she whispered. “But I’ll bet I can show you that I love you even more.”
His hands reached out to capture her waist, pulling her against him. “We won’t be finished in a weekend,” he warned. “This game will take a lifetime.”
Micki felt a thrill of excitement, thinking of the pleasures ahead of them. Adventures full of laughter and love and games. With Adam at her side, she’d place a bet that life would hold myriad surprises.
“I love you, Adam Laurence,” she whispered. “Thank you for staying with me through thick and thin. Thank you for helping me get rid of my demons.”
“Micki Vaughn. Melody Michelle Middleton Hammond.” Adam stared deeply into her eyes. “Whoever you are. Whoever you want to be. I dare you to marry me and stay with me for the rest of our lives.”
“Of course I will,” she agreed simply and was rewarded for her words with a giant crushing bear hug. “And you know,” she whispered. “One can never back down from a dare.”
About the Author
Jeannie loves writing romance, finding joy in creating worlds for her readers, complete with clever characters and happy endings. A native of the Pacific Northwest, she has a Bachelor’s in Science from the University of Washington.
Jeannie lives with her husband in the hills of coastal Washington. They share their home with rescue animals, currently caring for a cat named Skiff who got his name from being found as a starving kitten under the dumpster at a local boat launch, and the world’s cutest dog, Pokey, who flunked out of Guide Dog for the Blind training, due to his irrepressible exuberance.
She loves to hear from her readers!
Jeannie welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email address on her author bio page at www.cerridwenpress.com.
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Cerridwen, the Celtic goddess of wisdom, was the muse who brought inspiration to storytellers and those in the creative arts. Cerridwen Press encompasses the best and most innovative stories in all genres of today’s fiction. Visit our site and discover the newest titles by talented authors who still get inspired—much like the ancient storytellers did, once upon a time.
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