Aunt Sylvia had turned her moss green eyes to me with a soft smile “quite often.” She had answered.
“I don’t believe it.” I had said.
Her smile became amused. I assure you, Rylynn, I know Fear and Fear knows me.” She had said in that poetic fashion of hers.
I had frowned in confusion at her. “But you never seem afraid. Teydon was angry and wanted to hit you. To beat you and I think he meant worse than when Ace and Carden hurt me.” I said naming the two older boys who had made it their mission in life to terrify me.
Aunty Sylvie had frowned and set down the fruit she had been washing. After wiping her hands on her apron she had grasped mine. She had peered into my eyes then. “Are you afraid of Ace and Carden?” She had asked.
“Y-yes.” I had admitted ducking my head in shame. “I’m not as brave as you.”
She tilted my head back up. In a soft voice she had replied “I am afraid of Teydon just as you are afraid of Carden and Ace. To be afraid is normal. Natural. It is a sense that keeps you alert in times of danger. The trick is not to allow fear to be your master, as fear leads to allowing horrible things to happen and innocents being hurt.” She had paused for a moment before continuing. “What I am about to say is both very hard and very easy. It is something a good friend once told me. ‘Face your fear, acknowledge its existence then use it to do what is right anyway. That is what being courageous entails.’”
I still didn’t believe that she was ever afraid, but I had taken her advice to heart. I had faced my fear. Which had proven to be a good thing. The day after my childhood had ended several years later, the same day the war began, I had a place to go. I learned to survive the war torn streets from under the wings of the very two had made my life hell before I learned what hell truly was. Ace and Carden had become allies of sorts. The masters of their own gang, they took me in as I was useful. Do not believe that they are good men. They are not. But they are decent men… in their own way. They were the ones I had been thinking of back on the station when I was confronting the fake Comic Book Gang.
They would be flabbergasted if they could see where I was now. Right before they started laughing their heads off. “Oh honey, Ry, what the hell ya doing? Fish don’t fly.” Ace would snigger. And Carden would add “Damn! This is where the pretty LF spacers come from?? Sheeit.” Then his partner in crime would mock “I’m sorry cap’en, but I had to run my station in the nude. Couldn’t disrespect the darn uniform by getting it dirty!” I closed my eyes on a deep breath. It is truly terrifying that I am imagining what they would say. I thought to myself. It had to be because of that recent seizure I had. Something was wrong with my head.
Not only would that explain my ability to imagine what those two dangerous crazies would say, it would also explain why I couldn’t make myself move. I could face my fear of two bullies, eventually become a strange version of friend with them, and survive a couple weeks with Valencia the Unpredictable Cat. I could also draw the Telmicks on a run that should have ended with my death; either by my own hand or by a Telmick torturer. I could challenge Westley, witness a murder and survive a trip in a tiny shuttle with said murder. But, for whatever the reason, I could not take a single step.
Thus I was still standing on the shuttle landing pad inside the grounds of the Legion Fleet Academy. Grand, white marble buildings stood in a circle about the central garden with its exotic, jewel like flowers and elegant fountains. The landing pad was part of the circle about this garden. The white buildings were imposing yet elegant. They blinded me as the aging sun reflected off their walls. I glanced up at the sky above. It was a very pale blue despite the fact that it was late afternoon.
It must have either been after classes or during class because the garden was empty. I was kind of glad that it was because I didn’t want to be stared at. Why that would bother me I didn’t know. It usually doesn’t… Liar! My conscience mocked, you just got good at not focusing on it. Now you are somewhere completely new and you don’t have anger or the need to survive shielding you. I stared about me and realized that the little voice was right.
“First time to the Academy, eh? You must be a new recruit. I thought you were young.” A male voice said coming up beside me. My blood froze. I knew the voice and it sure wasn’t the pilot whom I had only heard over the intercom. Admiral Knight. An admiral and the masked man who had killed a woman. A man who doesn’t know that you witnessed that my thoughts hissed to the rest of my terrified brain. Right. Face one’s fear.
I ducked my head as I turned to the admiral. “Yes sir.” I gestured toward the waiting complex. “To be honest, I am a little overwhelmed.” I wondered distantly at my ability to actually tell him the truth.
The admiral turned thoughtfully toward the school. A proportionately sized big hand rose to re-adjust his officer’s hat. He gave me a gentle smile that made his brown eyes warm. It was unsettling to see someone who I knew to be a butcher with such a normal expression on his face. I would have expected a murderer to have some telling difference, something that would give warning to other people. But there was nothing. If I hadn’t witnessed the woman’s death and heard the Spectral’s warning, I would have found it impossible to believe that the admiral was a murderer. “I guess it could be a tad intimidating.” He admitted, drawing me out of my thoughts. “How about this? I’ll guide you to the Academy Office. They’ll sort you out.”
“Oh!” I gasped surprised. I hadn’t expected this. I really didn’t want to be around him any more than I had to. Considering I had already been stuck in a small shuttle with him, I was thinking I had served my sentence already. “You don’t have to do that, sir.” I said nervously. “I don’t want to take more of your time.”
He chuckled softly. “You haven’t taken any. Besides, I’m on my way there myself.”
And thus I learned that the universe still hated me. There was no way for me to wriggle out of this without drawing suspicions. My eyes looked over toward complex. Well, I guess it beats being lost… I thought miserably. “Thank you, sir.” I said looking back at him, none of my misery in my tone.
I followed behind Admiral Knight. We stepped from the landing pad and onto the glass-like sidewalk. It was clear like glass with flecks of red, blue, and green here and there. Either it was very thick glass or something more durable than glass since it was being used as a sidewalk. Under it were painted flowers, nebulas, and famous Legion Fleet starships. A few even I had heard of, like the emperor’s flag ship the LFH Nova Imperia. Then there was the LFP Terrenza, a fast cruiser that had had the latest technology. It was a legendary ship because it had turned the tide during the last war with the Zar’daka. Unless Aunt Sylvie’s books were mistaken, that had been several decades ago. Since then there has been little word about the Zar’daka. I’m sure the government knows more. But for common Janes like me, word was that the last war had finally proven to the rival empire which was the stronger.
The admiral led me toward the intimidating white building closest to the landing pad. The white marble glistened with metallic flecks. I wondered if everything on the capital planet was made like this. Extravagance was everywhere I looked. It was elegant, but still everywhere till it become the norm. Looking around I was both awed and somewhat bothered. I guess I would have expected this in the palace and other buildings of state not at an academy where only students came… with the odd officer. I amended with a glance at my companion.
THE CAPTIAL IS OLD. The mouse spectral said softly. THINGS THAT CAN STAND THE TEST OF TIME HAVE BEEN FOUND AND THUS MUST BE MADE APPEALING.
I cast a glance at the murals under my feet beneath their protective covering. It just isn’t practical. I thought. This was priceless artwork under my feet and it was… well…under my feet. It should have been in a fancy museum or art gallery to be given a place of honor to be admired and never touched. Back on Lenti, anything like this, left out without protection, would have been taken within days. And that was before the war started. Lenti had not been a
crime planet before, but there were cities and there was crime. The gangs were around before the war and they had to keep the old business running. Now, after the start of the war, some people might use the artwork to buy passage out. But for the most part, I couldn’t think of anyone caring enough to try to protect it. It would simply be laid to waste. Like everything else.
The other spectral, my cryptic friend, joined the discussion. NEVER SAY BEAUTY IS IMPRACTICAL. THERE IS NOTHING MORE PRACTICAL THAN BEAUTY. I struggled not to show my confusion outwardly. Inwardly I had no such compunctions. How does that even make sense?!
The mouse sniggered before squeaking to the other. YOU ARE BETTER QUILIFYED TO EXPLAIN TO HER THE PRACTICAL APPLICATION OF BEAUTY. I LEAVE IT TO YOU, MY FRIEND.
I AM STARTING TO REGRET SAVING YOUR SORRY ASS. The wonderfully cryptic spectral muttered, adding yet another question to my growing pile. VERY WELL. He continued. THE PRACTICAL USE OF BEAUTY IS APPARENT IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, RYLYNN. I blinked at his use of my name. I hadn’t told him it, but I figure having access to my thoughts would allow him to learn it. Even understanding the ‘how’ did not make it any less unnerving… YES, I KNOW YOUR NAME. DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU OR NOT? He snapped impatiently.
Sorry. I thought quickly before he decided to keep his answers to himself.
VERY WELL, BEAUTY MAY APPEAR TO BE IMPRACTICAL, BUT IT IS THAT VERY APPEARANCE THAT SERVES A PURPOSE. IT DISTRACTS. IT DRAWS THE EYE. IT CAN ALSO SOOTHE, CAUSING PEOPLE TO RELAX AND PROGRESS TO BE MADE. IT CAN ALSO SHOW POWER, RYLYNN. IT SHOWS GRACE, STRENGTH, AND WEALTH. PEOPLE COMING TO THE CAPITAL SEE IT AND CAN BE REASURED, AWED, OR INDIMIDATED BY THE SHOW OF POWER. AS YOU CAN SEE, BEAUTY IS VERY PRACTICAL AND I DIDN’T COVER ALL OF ITS USES.
I chewed on that as Admiral Knight and I entered the building. My chewing stopped as I took in the office. If some small part of my brain had thought that the elegance was only on the outside it was proven wrong now. It took everything I had not to let my jaw hit the floor. The front office wasn’t ostentatious. It held an understated elegance that told you, in no uncertain terms, that there was Importance here. Power gave strength to the support columns and the arches that supported the roof of the very tall room. Wealth had obviously been lovingly poured into the building of the academy. Everything I saw was made of some exclusive material. I’m not an expert on such things, but spending time with Ace and Carden gave me an eye for the well-made and finer things in life. Some rich hard wood the likes of which I had never seen before in the provincial Colony Lenti was used to make the desks and tables. The obviously talented workmanship of the wood drew the eye to discover all its secrets. It lent grace to the various desks that faced the doors in a half circle. The forest green stone floor shimmered with silver. Silver veined marble formed a border along the foot of the walls. The walls themselves were a beautiful dark warm granite that transitioned to a pale orange then white at the very ceiling of the room…all of five stories high.
It was extravagant and once again impractical. But the Spectral did have a point. It awed me and made me feel very small. Maybe there was something to that whole ‘beauty is practical’ nonsense.
“Well, here you are. You will be wanting the desk on the far right hand side.” Admiral Knight said with a gesture.
Aware that this was both a clear dismissal and my chance to get away from him I faced him with a grateful smile plastered on my face. “Thank you, sir.” I managed to say genuinely enough. He nodded and went his own way. Taking a deep breath I turned toward mine.
Thankfully the office was moderately busy so I wasn’t the only one walking before all those desks. Behind the polished wood were uniformed officers, like back at the Academy Branch. They were also busy even with no one inquiring at their desk. I counted it as lucky that they were occupied with their own things.
Behind the desk that the admiral had pointed me to was a young Avren woman with blue and green feathers on her wings. Her hair was a turquoise to go with the feathers. She looked up at my approach. Her smile was kind and warmed her amber eyes. I hesitated a moment, stunned by the contrast between my treatment up on the station and here. But then, she didn’t know I wasn’t a Primary Citizen. I smiled at her. I admit it, I was looking forward to a conversation that didn’t start on unequal terms. I would, of course, tell her where I was from when she asked. Till then, I planned to enjoy pretending that there was no difference between colonists and Citizens.
“How can I help you?” She asked in soft voice.
“Hi. I hope so.” I said with a smile. “I was just accepted into Legion Fleet today…” I trailed it off unsure what I should be asking.
She grinned. “You came to the right place. My name is Ensign A’zarsha.” She jumped off the step stool that I just realized she had been standing on. It had given her half a foot of height, masking the fact that she stood as tall as I did. Seeing her people from below on the station had not really given me a clue as to how small they actually were. The long trailing feathers made them seem bigger. Ensign A’zarsha fluttered stepped back onto her stool. In her petite hands was a pile of sky blue cloth. Folded on top was what looked to be a navy blue jacket. She set her bundle on the desk between us. “This here is your 5th class cadet uniform. You wear that at dinner and any functions. A training uniform will be sent to your room. You are to take care of your uniforms. Stop by the seamstress as you grow and she will see to it that you receive new ones.”
Before I could nod my head, Ensign A’zarsha hopped down from her stool again. “Why they insist on making these desks for the big people I’ll never understand.” She muttered good-naturedly. I don’t think she saw my shrug. I heard her open a drawer. She disappeared for so long I started to get worried. I rose up on my toes and tried to peer over the expanse of desk. Nope, couldn’t see a thing. I settled back down on my feet. There was a clatter before she popped up again on her stool. “Sorry about that. Here, you will need these.” She said putting a stack of papers next to the pile of clothes. “The top sheet is a map of the campus.” She picked up a pen and with delicate fingers traced two paths on the map. I watched attentively. She glanced up with her amber eyes to make that I was paying attention. “This line here,” she said tapping a line, “leads to the barracks. You are on the third floor in room number 321. Your roommate is 5th class Morgan.” She then tapped the other line that I saw went in the other direction of the barracks. It ended at a small square that said ‘medical’. “You will need to report there after dinner. They will run you through the placement tests and a check-up.”
The Avren slid the map aside to reveal a blank form of some kind. “Now I need you to fill this out so I can check your admission and add you to the roster and let the Medical Center know you are coming.” She said handing me a pen. I took the pen and glanced at her before turning to the paper. I wondered briefly if she was telling me what she would do with the information to be nice or to warn me not to skip out on the tests. I turned to the form and decided that it was probably both.
Being a generally honest person I filled out the form as fully as I could. I gave my full name, Rylynn Tara Sinclair of Colony Lenti. Sinclair was my aunt’s last name. I have no idea what my parent’s last name was… nor did I even know their first names. I knew next nothing about them. What I did know was that Aunt Sylvie had been the older sister of my mother and that they must have been close. But Aunt Sylvie never talked much about my mother or father. Whenever I asked she would get this look in her eye that held a universe of secrets. Then all she would tell me was that they had been very good people and that they had loved me very much. I never learned anything else, no matter how I questioned. Eventually I noticed that my pressing questions were causing my Aunt pain, I guess because her sister was dead. So I stopped asking, but I never stopped wondering.
I finished filling out the form as best I could not knowing what some of the questions meant and pushed it toward Ensign A’zarsha’s side of the desk. She smiled and told me that she would plug it in right away
and pushed the uniform to me. I took it and the map and backed up a step wondering if I was good to go or not. I watched her plug in my name into her consol. I saw her hesitation, her quick glance at me, before checking the screen. She must have seen the verification of my admission because she seemed even more surprised. Eventually she turned wide amber eyes to me. She blinked and managed a small smile before shooing me away with her fingers.
I nodded back and made my way to the entrance of the building. My pace was a quick, ground covering walk. Had to get to the doors before she changed her mind.
Chapter 6- The Weed in the Garden
The line that led to the barracks took me from the administration building and to the left of the circle about the garden away from the landing pad. The sidewalk slipped between two buildings. As the map had implied, the Academy grounds stretched out from the garden center. According to the map, there was only one barracks on the grounds. I figured that meant it must be huge considering that this was the Legion Fleet’s main training facility. There were probably hundreds, if not thousands, of trainees.
Of those, I only saw a few in the distance jogging around the training yard. There were a couple pairs that were facing off with some sort of staff weapons in the yard. I figured it was lucky that they were off over there, away from me and my destination.
I won’t lie, I was nervous. Terrified really. History wise, I was the first colonist to walk these grounds. But more personally I didn’t know anyone and I was alone. Aunt Sylvia… my hands trembled and I clutched my uniform bundle to my chest. I couldn’t think about her just now. I smile ironically to myself. I hadn’t thought about Aunt Sylvie for a long time, mostly because I had to push the grief away in order to survive. Even on the Hail Mary I could not let myself relax as I was still on edge. Being locked up in a that tiny shuttle with Admiral Knight must have pushed me over the edge because it seemed that every time I turned around I was thinking about my aunt and my life back on Lenti.
Defender of the Empire: Cadet #1 Page 5