The girl from the cafeteria stepped closer to Eli, her voice twirling like honey in a flirty, girlie tone. “But, I want to be in your group.” I rolled my eyes. I had seen this girl stab a guy with a plastic fork at lunch. There was nothing sweet or girlie about her.
“Fine,” he replied sharply. “Let’s go.”
Ten
Josh and I followed the group across the street to a cleared area where remnants of an old garden still remained. We stopped in front of a garden shed. Wheel barrels, hammers, drills, gloves, and other supplies were bundled in piles in the small building.
“Okay everyone, grab gloves.” Eli nodded towards the pile.
Right then, I saw something skitter deep in the shadows at the far end of the shed. The thing moved to the wall and scuttled towards the entrance. I squinted, trying to make out what it was. A large brown rat stopped and turned to look at me.
“Ewww—gross a rat!” a girl screamed.
I could have sworn I saw the rat’s eyes narrow, glaring at the girl. “Well, I don’t find you much to look at either.” The voice was tiny and gruff.
My breath caught in my throat as I froze with fear. Holy shit. I looked around. No one else seemed to be reacting to the fact a rat had just talked. I turned back to the rodent.
A hazy glow surrounded the rat, and I found I was no longer looking at a rat, but at a tiny woman, dressed in a long, green skirt and a white blouse. Her brown hair hung next to her face in two thick braids, and on her head was a tall pointed green cap. She tilted her head and frowned at me, then turned, and hustled out of the shed, towards the forest.
Without a thought I started after it. I wasn’t sure why. It was a knee-jerk reaction since I knew the rat-woman was just a hallucination. I needed to go back on medication.
I continued after her, and for as small and stalky as she was, she was insanely fast. “Wait!” I called out.
Adrenaline pumped through me as I ran after her, barreling through the old, dried-up garden. She stopped, and I came to a sudden halt as she turned and faced me. Her hands were on her hips, her stalky little frame all puffed up and angry. I could see her face more clearly now. She was younger than I had first thought, but she still looked weathered and tough. Her eyes were squinty and her lips were thin and pinched. Her hands were burly and thick, her patchy skin coarse and cracked. She looked like she had worked extremely hard her whole life.
“Get out of my garden,” her little, but strong, voice rung in my ears like sharp bells.
“Oh Jesus,” I mumbled to myself as I stared at the small woman.
The tiny, homely woman stomped her foot. “Did you hear me? Get your tall, scrawny ass out of my garden.”
“Em?”
My head jerked up to see Josh and the rest of the class standing behind him, looking at me like I had grown two heads. I continued to stare at him dumbfounded. Didn’t they see the small person standing in front of me?
“Em, are you okay?” Josh’s tone was full of wariness. I looked to where my hallucination had been, but the tiny woman was gone.
I closed my eyes, sucking in a deep breath. “Yeah. Just terrific.”
When I reopened them, Eli’s piercing eyes drew my attention. I couldn’t make out the expression on his face, but it was intense and made me want to hide behind Josh.
Samantha walked up to the group, her gaze fixed on me. Something about her stare made me shift uncomfortably. “Let’s leave the wildlife alone, shall we?” She smiled thinly, and then turned around to face the rest of the students. “Come on, let’s get to work. Grab some gloves and a hammer.” She gathered up the group, who continued to observe me with wary expressions, but she soon distracted them with tools and plans for the new garden.
Eli maintained his stance, his scrutiny still focused on me. I looked down, trying to ignore the burning sensation his gaze sent into my skin.
My mind was reeling with the embarrassment of letting people see me splinter from reality. Hallucinations weren’t new to me, but it had been awhile since I had been caught by other people while having one. No one knew that right before my school in Monterey burned down, I had thought I’d seen my awful math teacher turn into a troll, with a huge, thick nose protruding from its hairy, ugly face. Dark, beady eyes had gleamed as it watched me. It had felt so real, more real than anyone else in the room. It was a secret I kept locked up deep down. When I was younger it was easier to brush these off. My mom would laugh, telling the neighbors that I had an overactive imagination and abundance of imaginary friends. I couldn’t do that so easily now.
Eli turned away. “Today we will be building the planter box frames. We only have two hours so we better get started,” he said, motioning towards the stacks of thick boards. He rambled on, but after a while I tuned out.
“That also means you.” Eli stepped up to me. It took me a moment to realize everyone else had moved on and was starting to work, but I still stood there, staring at the spot where the tiny woman had disappeared. “Hey, girl, do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?”
My gaze snapped to his. “This girl has a name, you know?” I shot back. I was irritated by the way he had said “girl,” like I was something off the bottom of his shoe.
“And what would that be?” He crossed his arms, as he looked down on me. “Please tell me it’s something like Tiffany or Brittany.”
“It’s Ember,” I said as heat filled my cheeks.
“Ember.” He repeated my name and a slow smirk formed on his face. “Of course it is. Ember what?”
“Brycin.”
He looked at me patronizingly. “Well, Brycin, let’s see if you can handle a hammer or if I should find something easier for you to do.”
My eyes narrowed as we glared at each other. What was this guy’s problem? What had I ever done to him? The other students had stopped what they were doing, sensing the tension, and looked between us like it was a ping-pong match. I was waiting for someone to do a low whistle like you hear in all the standoff-scenes in the old cowboy movies.
I scooped up a hammer, gripping it tight in my hand, and stomped off towards the woodpiles. He scoffed in amusement as I walked away. I almost, almost, showed his face what I could do with a hammer, but I decided it might not help my case for getting out of here.
“All right, everyone, get back to work,” he said, and stomped away.
Josh leaned down and whispered in my ear, nodding towards Eli. “Okay, that was weird.”
“Yeah.” It was the only response I could come up with as I grabbed a handful of nails, imagining it was Eli’s face I would be hammering them into. At that thought, a smile broke out over my face.
The two hours went by fast. Our team got into a good rhythm. The only thing that bothered me was every time I looked up, Eli was staring at me, glaring actually. I tried to ignore him and concentrate on my work. My arms felt like they wanted to fall off, but I didn’t stop once. I didn’t want to show him any weakness or that he could get to me.
After we’d returned our tools to the shed, Josh and I headed back to Silverwood. He had a curious look on his face. “So Ember, what’s up with you and that guy Eli? You guys have some past history or something?”
“No, I never met him before.” That was technically true. vzyl “I don’t know what his problem is.” I didn’t feel like telling Josh about the police station incident, plus that didn’t even really count as having history with Eli, right?
“Really? That’s strange. I thought I picked up on some vibe there.” His eyebrows furrowed, and he shrugged.
“Nope, just some old-fashioned, predetermined dislike for me.”
Josh smirked, looking like he didn’t quite believe me. We got back to the main building, and Josh headed off for the dorm. He was one of the students who could no longer remain at home. “I’ll see you tomorrow. And welcome to Silverwood. I’m glad you’re here. You’re already making things a whole lot more interesting.” He gave a slight wave before disappearing down the hall.
I smiled, shaking my head, and then headed in the opposite direction, towards the classroom. I was exhausted. With no homework yet, I decided to spend the time relaxing and drawing until Mark showed up.
As I walked into the main classroom, I stopped short. I instantly recognized Eli’s body from the back as he talked to Samantha.
“What the hell was that earlier?” Samantha demanded.
“Nothing you need to worry about, Sam,” he said tartly.
Her blue eyes looked up at him in longing. “You sure?”
She was stunning, captivating, and beautifully feminine—everything a guy would want. Obviously, it was what Eli wanted. From the way she looked at him, there was no doubt she felt the same. They were beautiful together; they had that bad boy/good girl stereotype thing going on. My chest clenched as I watched them. Why did I have to notice every perfect detail of his body, especially his ass and strong broad shoulders? Fury stormed through me, but I turned it on myself. I shouldn’t be thinking this way about him. It was demented. He was scary and rude and clearly didn’t like me. That was now reciprocated. I pivoted, wanting to flee the room. Instead I ran straight into Mr. Kemp.
“Hey, Ember.” He smiled at me. “Where are you running off to?”
“I-I . . .” I floundered as I turned to look behind me. At the mention of my name, Eli’s head snapped up, whipping towards the door, his eyes staring into mine like lightning bolts. My head felt a little addled as fear rose through me, which made me defiantly hold his stare. Don’t show fear. The more fear I felt, the more stubborn I tended to get. Mark said I was headstrong and ornery, something I got from my mother.
“Ember?”
I turned back to face the teacher. “Sorry, Mr. Kemp, I was just going outside and wait for my ride.” I tried to move around him.
“Please call me Tim. It’s freezing out there. Just hang in here until then.” His hand already gently on my back, guiding me back into the room. I let him direct me to the tables, sitting in a chair closest to the door. I peered at Eli under my lashes. He stood there with his arms crossed, watching me with distain. Seriously, what was his problem with me? Sam tugged at his hand, eventually getting him to turn away. I tried to ignore them both as I took out my sketchpad from my backpack. I flipped through the sheets to find a fresh page.
“You are really talented. May I?” Tim motioned to my sketchbook. I shrugged, as if I was okay; it wasn’t. Not too many artists like people looking at their sketchpad until they are ready to show it. It’s like reading someone’s diary. Sketching was release for me, and I drew things that were especially personal. However, I felt it rude to say no to him.
He commented frequently as he looked through the book, but he stopped on one page in particular. “Wow, this one is really interesting. I don’t know what it is about it. It has a haunting quality, as if you are looking into this person’s tortured soul.”
Tim laid the drawing on the table. I froze. Of all the ones he could’ve picked out, it was the one of Eli’s eyes, the one I barely recalled drawing. At the time, I hadn’t known his name or anything about him, but I felt those eyes had burned a hole through my retina and my brain. I recalled how scared I’d been that night, the feeling of being watched, and especially with those eyes staring out from the shadows of the forest.
The same eyes that are on me now.
I tried to grab the pad away from Tim when another hand from behind snatched it off the table and out of my grasp. It was like a car accident I couldn’t prevent or turn away from. I sat helplessly, as Eli took my sketchpad, his eyes slowly recognizing his own. I don’t remember breathing. It felt like time had stopped.
I watched Eli’s reaction as he took in the drawing, his eyes wandering down to the corner of the page where I always put a date. His reaction was so minuscule I thought I imagined it; but for an instant his pupils thinned to a vertical slit. Or, at least, I thought they did. I blinked and his pupils were back to their passive, cold state. Medication here I come.
“It’s good, huh?” Tim looked over at Eli and motioned for Sam to look. As she approached, her body moved possessively close to Eli’s.
“It’s very good.” There was a trace of warning in her voice as her head cocked to the side, undoubtedly recognizing whose eyes were on the paper.
Eli’s eyes slowly lifted from the sketchpad and caught mine. As we stared at each other over the ridge of the pad, it was as if we were having a silent conversation, although I didn’t seem to understand the language. Looking away from him felt like tearing magnets apart. Even as my head turned away, my eyes had stayed on his until the last second, with my mind screaming: Don’t ever take your eyes off the enemy.
“Yeah,” Eli responded evenly and put the pad back down.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text from Mark saying he’d be there in five minutes. Relief washed over me. “Oh, I gotta go. My ride’s here. Bye.”
I jumped up with joy. Getting away from this strange, awkward situation and Eli’s malice-laced stares was all I wanted. I grabbed my stuff and practically ran out the door.
***
Mark and I talked about my day as we headed home. “It was a lot better than I thought,” I admitted. Nothing blew-up, which is always a plus, and there was a pleasant absence of nasty cheerleaders. I, of course, left out the part about my hallucinating in front of the entire class. Things like that would only upset Mark. He didn’t need to know.
“There are some scary people there, but most seem like they’ve just had a tough go of things,” I told him. “If anything, it made me appreciate you even more.”
“Remember that when I wake you up tomorrow morning.”
“Not sure my appreciation will go that far.”
“But I can’t afford to lose another hand in the morning trying to get you up early.”
“You know, Mark, there is a bus going out there, which I could take instead. I might lose the cool factor of my daddy driving me, but I’m willing to sacrifice.”
“No. You can’t take the bus. We wouldn’t want to lose that cool factor,” he said. “I don’t ask anything from you, like trying to get an education, or good grades, or even having some fun. All I ask from you is to be cool for my sake.”
“I think you’ve taken all of the cool. None left for me.” I shrugged dramatically. No matter my mood, Mark could always make me feel so much lighter and happier, letting my day become a humorous memory, and not an irritation.
“Won’t riding the bus take almost an hour more than if I drove you?” Mark asked. “I don’t like the idea of you coming home in the dark.”
“Mark, it’s staying lighter later every day. I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“You know I’m eighteen, I can legally . . .” I trailed off as I caught the warning in Mark’s expression. “Shutting up now.”
“Good choice.”
Eleven
Wanting to hear every detail of my first day at Silverwood, Ryan and Kennedy planned to meet me later that evening at one of our favorite hangouts. It was a hipster-type café, which played cool music and local art covered the walls. Unfortunately, as of late, it seemed to be popular with the high school “in-crowd” as well. I assumed they went there to laugh at the funky outfits, the darkly twisted artwork, and the indie music.
When I got there, I saw Kallie and her minions sitting at the front table by the window. I sighed deeply and kept my head up as I walked past her. There was no doubt she spotted me when I heard her say something and the entire table turned to look at me, laughing.
Kennedy and Ryan sat at our usual table in the back. “Hey guys.” I pulled out a chair and plopped down.
Kennedy wordlessly pushed my already ordered vanilla latte to me.
“Thank you.”
Kennedy had this knack for knowing exactly what you were feeling and what you needed. It was kind of strange how in-tune she was with everything around her. She was the one who had approached me on m
y first day of school five years earlier. I remember watching this tiny, fragile-looking girl, who was all of ninety pounds, with long, silky, brown hair and brown eyes framed by glasses come up to me at the lunch table. While the other kids seemed to stay away from me, she wordlessly sat next to me at lunch, acting like this was something we did every day. Immediately, I felt comfortable around her, somehow sensing, that she, too, was different like me. Ryan had followed suit, and every day for a week they sat next to me without pressuring me to talk or join in with them. Eventually, I let my walls come down. We had been inseparable ever since.
“Sorry about the bitch infiltration.” Ryan nodded towards the front window. “They came in after we did.”
“Not your fault.” I shrugged.
I had just started to tell them about my first day at Silverwood when a shadow moved over the table.
“Oh, look who it is,” Kallie sneered. “The wicked witch and her flying monkeys. How is the school for the mentally disturbed?”
“Better than the wicked bitch academy I just left.”
“Why can’t you just melt away with water?”
“And why can’t click your heels together and go back to Kansas?” Ryan shot at her.
She placed her hands on the table and leaned forward. “Is all this Dorothy-talk making you hot and bothered, Ryan? I’ll bet you have a pair of ruby slippers you wear to dance around the house with Toto here.” Kallie nodded towards Kennedy.
Just like at the dance, I could handle her going after me, but my friends were off limits. My anger sprouted to elevated levels. My jaw set into a stony expression. Something came over me, and I felt a dark ferocity consuming me. I needed to get out of here.
I stood up, knocking over my chair. “I would back off now.”
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