by Pynk
Curly-headed Miki began to speak at the same time she stood. She hung her hands at her sides and shifted her weight to her right leg. She placed her hand on her shapely hip as her mind traveled.
“It was all about me. I didn’t care about anything else. I remember the creaking sound of footsteps in the hallway but our animalistic moans seemed to drown them out. He was tall and big and heavy, and his bulging belly needed to be lifted up to find his penis. I’d already sucked his huge dick for about thirty minutes but he didn’t ejaculate. The taste and smell of his precum stuck to my tongue while he literally pounded my flesh. I remember wishing I had a stick of gum.” A woman sitting on one side of Miki put her hand on Miki’s slender arm for comfort as Miki gave a nervous giggle along with the group. Miki paused and swallowed audibly and closed her eyes. She continued.
“As much as his body repulsed me and the smell of his sweat that dripped onto my titties was musty smelling, my vagina throbbed rapidly and took him in like I was getting away with a crime. My pussy was wetter than it had been since I was in my teens. I was dripping slippery fluid and he was turned on to the point of having a heart attack. He breathed unsteadily. He kept grunting louder and louder, and he went deeper and deeper. I kept groaning and grinding faster and faster with an urgency I’d never known. I mean, my clit felt like it was about to burst. I felt the pressure of his powerful shooting cum deep inside of me just as the bedroom door flew open. I noticed someone standing there in broad daylight, but I didn’t care. Not even about the fact that it was Adore, my younger sister, who had just absorbed an eyeful of our carnal fucking. Not even the fact that the man who had just shot his sperm deep inside of me was paralyzed with fear. He froze. I didn’t care.
“I didn’t care enough to cease my panicky grind or downshift my pleasure-filled grunts. As I said, it was all about me . . . getting off. I spewed my cum while my clitoris clenched repeatedly until I slowed down to the stillness of busted reality.
“My baby sister said, ‘Not with my husband, Miki. Not with my Tommy.’ She yelled with watery eyes and shaky hands. I lay there almost giving her a look like she had the nerve to dare interrupt. I pulled the covers over my body and scooted back. She called me a bitch and a whore and ran out. He ran out after her, just as naked as he was when we lay down. I sat back and lay still. Maybe it was out of shame, but I ended up taking a one-hour nap and then went to work like nothing had ever happened.” Miki simply opened her eyes and stopped talking. Her brown skin was flushed. The members were silent as if maybe she wasn’t quite finished. It was like the video player in her mind simply stopped. She sat down. She flashed a glimmer of her right dimple and her chest rose and fell.
“Very good, Miki,” Dr. Cummings said. “That must weigh heavily on you for perhaps feeling as though you betrayed your sister. We’ll speak on that as we go along, and we’ll help you work through the feelings involved. Very good. Next.”
Tall and brown Valencia came to a stance, looking down at her friend Miki who’d managed a mini-smile, and then Valencia spoke while taking a mannequin-like pose. Only her pouty lips moved. She didn’t even blink.
“I push the limits. I have always pushed limits. I pushed them in middle school doing something as minor as ditching class, or as major as giving my math teacher a blow job for an A. I was only thirteen.
“I have always been bored with twosomes. I had my first threesome when I was fourteen. It was with my cousin and her boyfriend. In college I met a man who matched my freak level to a tee. We’d go online and look for adults who wanted to experience group sex with strangers, we’d fuck with another man, we’d fuck with another woman, we’d go to private house parties and end up on huge beds with ten people, just swapping and swallowing cum and eating pussy and taking it up the ass. Both of us. And I watched him suck dick. I got off on it. I’ll masturbate to an exercise video if necessary and he’ll masturbate right along with me. I love to fuck. I can’t think of the wildest time because it’s all been wild.” Valencia now flailed her hands about with urgency.
“I’ve fucked while smoking weed, I’ve tried ecstasy while giving head, and I’ve drunk seven shots of straight one-fifty-one rum and then had sex outside in a park in broad daylight. I love riming, I’ll screw a man in drag, I’ll lick pussy until it’s raw. All I know is that I can’t stop thinking of new ways to push my freak button. My man has threatened to leave me if I don’t stop. His curiosity has been more than satisfied. My mind is constantly racing to find new ways to get my rocks off. I have no limits. Piss on me, tie me up, choke me, make me bark, or slap me. Doing whatever it takes to get a rile out of me only makes me hotter. Today, I hate living like this. But when I’m in the middle of it, I love it.” She slowed her speech and her voice cracked with exhaustion and shame. She spoke at a low tone. “I’m here to break my addiction to sex. I’m a freak. I’ve had enough, but I can’t do it alone. And I don’t want to lose my man. Thank you.” She sat back down and Miki reached over to hug her. Valencia placed her head on her friend’s shoulder and wiped her left eye. A sniffle followed.
A bald-headed black man sitting across from Valencia gave her a wink of approval, and then glanced over at Miki’s legs where his eyes lived for more than a few moments. The woman next to him had a tear running down her cheek. She played with a balled-up tissue and looked at her lap.
“Valencia, we thank you as well. I see that your addiction has caused you much frustration. I understand and we are here for you. The good thing is that you are at your wit’s end. That’s the point where most need to be before they seek help. Your glass if full and that is a major turning point. We’ll get through this together, Valencia. Thanks again.”
Valencia nodded and smiled. Teela stood, smoothing her hand over her pixie-cut hair.
“My name is Teela, as I said. I am a voyeur. I love to watch and I get turned on by being watched. Valencia, I can relate to the park thing. I do that on the regular, maybe once a week. My lowest moment was when I peeked in the room to watch my mother and father having sex when I was a teenager. I felt shame, but still, I took that curiosity into my adult life. I will peek at neighbors or simply watch my man sex up other women without even getting involved. I’ve never been with a woman but I have no problem approaching them at clubs and persuading them to fuck my man, only I sit back and fuck myself with a dildo or a cucumber or a hot link or with my fingers or whatever until I’m satisfied. I’m not the least bit jealous.
“I’m here because two weeks ago, I went into a sex shop and sat in a booth watching an old Vanessa del Rio movie. It was one of those seedy rooms where other people can peek in and watch you like perverts. I guess that includes me, huh?” she asked the group, looking around as others shook their heads in disagreement. She blinked rapidly. “I was leaning back with my panties to my ankles and I knew that two sets of eyes were watching me rub my clit and stick my fingers in my ass. But I still jerked myself off over and over, and then I came so hard that I squirted pee on myself. One of the men stuck his dick through the glory hole and I sucked it until he came in my mouth. And when he left, I put on another movie and lay back. I looked up to see that I was being watched again, and I saw a set of eyes, only one pair of eyes. They were dark brown and the lids were iced with deep-set wrinkles. The whites of the eyes were cloudy. I jumped back and pulled up my underwear, closing my blouse, putting on my pants. Turns out the eyes belonged to my uncle. Uncle Chester was always trying to hug me a little too tight when I was younger, slyly pressing against my breasts. I always had a bad feeling about him. I hadn’t seen him in five years, but there he was jacking off at the sight of his niece masturbating. This world is getting way too small for the type of sick problem I have. I want to be rid of this obsession. That’s why I’m here.”
Dr. Cummings showed no shock. She only beamed with approval. “That’s very good, Teela. It sounds like your admittance is going to get you through this. Your honesty and shame can work together toward your healing. We thank you.”
> “Yes,” a couple of members said aloud, in particular, the long-legged black man next to Teela as she shifted her thick body back into her chair.
Brandi said, “Yes,” too, as she sprang to her feet. “I suppose my name suits me well as I’ve been an alcoholic for the past ten years. I’m thirty years old and started drinking in college. I never believed in AA meetings or even admitted that I had a problem. But the combination of this sexual addiction and the alcohol addiction will surely kill me if I don’t surrender. I cannot bond to anyone. I guess you can say I’m a love cripple. I have never had sex with the same person more than once in my entire life. I get off on the thrill of a stranger. I have a problem.
“And I recently posed as a hooker just to surround myself with men who were expecting a one time wham-bam, without all the intros. We went to the seedy motels or hopped in the backs of cars, and when it was all over, I ended up feeling as though I had gotten more out of it than they did. I wouldn’t even take their money. But the last straw was when I got arrested for solicitation of sex. The embarrassing charges were eventually dropped but this addiction is interfering with my job as a fourth grade teacher. I’m afraid I’ll run into one of the student’s parents one day, or worse, get fired. I am a sexaholic and I’m ready. Ready to get well. I’m ill. And I admit it.”
Dr. Cummings handed over a wide smile as chocolate Brandi took her seat.
Brandi looked down after smiling back.
“Wow, I must say those are some very good examples of the extreme side of lusting and being lusted over. Brandi, you have a two-headed demon to tackle, with sex and alcohol, but it’s not unusual. Some people have addictive-type personalities and you’ll probably find that you are addicted to many other things as well. It will not be easy, but the fact that you’re here means that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Your tomorrows will not be like your past, not if you don’t want them to be. Thank you, Brandi. Thanks for sharing. Now, unless anyone else who hasn’t shared before wants to share, we’ll continue on. No one?” She eyed the group. “No problem. Since we have so many new members involved tonight, the first thing I will tell you all now is that it is time to stop lusting and become sober. Please repeat after me. Stop lusting and become sober.”
“Stop lusting and become sober,” the group said as one.
“Very good. The one thing you all have in common is that you have all been driven to the point of despair. That’s why you’re here. I want all of you to see that each of us, each and every one of us, as sexual addicts, takes from others in a sexual way what is somehow lacking in ourselves. But what we end up doing is giving away our power through the forbidden. At some point in our young lives, because of some event or experience, we tuned things out with fantasy and masturbation, probably because someone took away our power, too. This is a physical, emotional, and spiritual problem, and therefore, healing and sobriety must come in those three ways as well. When you lose control you no longer have the power of choice. I want to give you back your power of choice. I want you to give yourself back your power of choice. Your stories tell me you want to gain control, and you want to live a life of making positive, healthy choices that do not spell addiction.
“This is a twelve-step recovery program. This will follow you every day for the rest of your lives. The only thing that differentiates you from the next new person who comes through that door is your sobriety. How long can you abstain from the act itself, not engaging in unhealthy sex? That number of days will add up to mean your anniversary. It will be part of your identity. You will be one day, or three months, or one year, or ten years sober, and you will celebrate like it is the first day of your life. And each day that you fall off the wagon and engage in intercourse and sexual acts, you start that number all over again. It’s all up to you. It can be done. I won’t give up on you. Will you?”
The group replied no all together.
The doctor continued, “And by the way, I am fifteen years, two months, and six days sober. I could tell you the number of hours if necessary. I had daily sex with my married neighbor while his wife was at work. Next thing I knew, his teenage son joined in to make it a threesome so I began sleeping with both of them, the father and the son, sometimes together, sometimes not. The parents didn’t know why but the son got so sprung that he tried to kill himself. The father’s wife confided in me that she knew her husband was fooling around on her. The final straw was when I ended up fucking the wife, too. He had no idea where she was all night long when she was lying in my bed right next door. She left her husband for me and is still with me today. He moved away in shame. Nothing you can say to me would shock me. My name is Rachel Cummings, and I’m a sexaholic also.”
The members of the group, two men and eight women, eyed each other and raised eyebrows and nodded and smiled at Dr. Cummings. Some had heard it before but still wore their thoughts on their faces. Some scooted back and some uncrossed their legs, some sipped bottled water and some looked around the room. But a cleansing feeling of shaking off all of the admissions permeated the air and an anxiousness of knowing that it was time to learn and heal and deal, as equals, as addicts, took over.
After thirty more minutes of going over the first step in the twelve-step program, admitting to being powerless over sex and that their lives were now manageable, the doctor ended the session and promised to see everyone back next week, same time, same place.
Valencia and Miki left hand in hand, with more pep in their steps than they had going in. Teela and Brandi exited in a different direction.
Valencia dropped her hand to reach in her purse for her cell phone. She said to Miki, “I’m proud of you, girl.”
“You, too, Valencia. To sum all of that up was harder than I thought.” Miki’s short jean skirt was fitting like it was painted on.
“You didn’t make it look hard.” A slight breeze blew Valencia’s flat-ironed hair away from her oval face.
“Thanks, girl. Where are you headed?” Miki asked with keys in hand as they stepped out of the clinic front door.
Valencia spoke, looking down at her dark red phone. “I’m headed to Adonis’s place. I see a few missed calls from him. He’s so excited about the fact that I agreed to get help. I’m getting excited now, too.”
Miki stopped suddenly as the young bald-headed man who was in the group walked up and stood in between her and Valencia.
“Hello. How are you doing? My name is Dwayne.” The man towered over Miki’s average frame. He had on a white T-shirt and jeans.
Valencia continued to walk, car alarm remote in hand and cell to ear. “I’ll see you later,” she said to Miki.
Miki nodded and spoke to Valencia while looking toward Dwayne’s massive frame. “Okay. I’m headed home. Drive safely.”
“Sorry to interrupt,” he said.
Miki put her hand out. “No problem. My name is—”
“I know. Miki, right?” He shook her hand and kept it.
“Nice to meet you, Dwayne.”
He still held her hand while they began to walk toward the parking lot together. “I heard your story.”
Miki beamed with a marriage of embarrassment and attraction. “I feel as though you know me. But what’s your story?”
“I’d actually love to share it with you.”
Miki stopped. “Your place or mine?”
Dwayne answered without missing a beat. “Yours.” He released his grip and reached into his pants pocket, keeping his eyes on her, handing over his business card. “My cell number is at the bottom.”
She read each and every letter and number. “Oh, okay. I’m in Inglewood. I’ll call you. See you in an hour.”
“I’ll be there.”
Miki began to walk away and looked back. “And bring a condom.”
“I’ll bring a few.” He promised with a naughty grin.
Miki spoke in a private tone to his wide, V-shaped back as he hurried toward his silver Corvette, walking like a stud. “Damn, I’m gonna fuck the shi
t outta his fine ass.”
PYNK’S SEX DICTIONARY FAVORITES A–Z
Acorn The head of the penis.
Bagpipe Slang term for the performance of fellatio.
Chocolate Starfish Slang term for the anus.
Daisy Chain Sexual position involving multiple partners.
Etch a Sketch To draw a smile on a woman’s face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.
Facial A slang term for ejaculating on someone’s face.
Gang Bang The term for many men having sex with one woman simultaneously, or in rapid succession.
Hard Swap Allowing your partner to have sex with some-one else while not in your presence.
Icing A slang term for semen or female cum.
Jack Rabbit 1. Common name for an electronic device used primarily by women for sexual stimulation. It is a one-piece device that includes a vibrating and rotating dildo head that is inserted into the vagina and a smaller vibrating stimulator that has two flaps (the ears) that flank the clitoris. 2. A term used to describe a man whose lovemaking style is characterized by rapid thrusting.
Kinesophilia A term for deriving sexual pleasure from exercise.
Labia Majora The labia majora are the outer lips of the vulva, pads of fatty tissue that wrap around the vulva from the mons pubis to the perineum. These labia are usually covered with pubic hair and contain numerous sweat and oil glands.
Macrophallia The medical condition of having a large penis. Interesting!
Nooner A sexual encounter during the lunch hour.
One-Eyed Trouser Snake A slang term for the penis.
Pansexual A person who is attracted to all genders and all forms of sex.
Queef The discharge of air from the vagina, sounding like flatulence (a fart)—it’s talking to ya, daddy! I call it an air-gasm!
Rotisserie The term for when a woman is bent over, performing oral on one man, while being penetrated from behind by another man.