by Dana Arden
She lifts her head and lays her forearms across my chest setting her chin on her hands. “There are times I can remember exactly what happen and there are other times I’ve blocked out for so long they’re a blur.” I nod and she continues. “It all started when I started developing, my boobs were bigger and my curves became visible. Dimitri started paying me a lot of attention and at first, I enjoyed it because my mother despised me. One night he took me to dinner with some of his colleagues and on the way home, he had the driver ride around until he told him to head back to the house. That night he took my innocence.”
I wipe the tears from her cheeks. “What else? It might help to get it all out.”
She clears her throat. “After that night, he started sending me off with different men. I went from this girl who just wanted to read a book in a quiet room to a girl who never stopped thinking about what the next monster would do to her. The visits with the men continued and the abortions started. They didn’t give a shit about me enough to put me on birth control. They didn’t want anyone to find out that their daughter needed it, so the multiple trips to the clinics out of town were enough. The turning point was when I started bleeding uncontrollably and they had to take me to the hospital. The glares we received when the doctors realized I was miscarrying and that it wasn’t the first D and C I’d ever had were priceless. I loved the look of disgust on their faces directed towards my mom and Dimitri.”
She sits up and runs her fingers through her hair lost in her story. “Once I healed from the surgery removing one of my tubes, condoms became a part of the contract and life went back to the Gustave normal. I did as I was told and didn’t fight them on anything. I wasn’t a person, Spook. I was an item for them to use. The more that I was violated, the more I got lost in my head. I was a shell of myself for years until I found out I was pregnant with Ryland. She woke me up and made me fight for us. I started plotting on the best way to get away and escape Nevada. A week later, I snuck out past the guards at night, hopped the fence and ran to the closest payphone and called Brute. I hid in an alleyway until I heard the rubble of motorcycles. Now, here I am with you and my daughter.”
I sit up wrapping my arms around her middle and pull her to me. “I’m glad you’re with me and I hate that you had to go through all that, but thank fuck it’s all over with and we can move forward.”
Chapter 25
Greer
I can’t believe my baby turns one today. It’s been fifteen months since I arrived here pregnant and looking to hide. In those months, I’ve learned a lot about myself.
For one, I’m not as broken as I originally thought I was. With the help of the Devils along with the personal assistance of Spook, I’ve been able to manage my feelings without the excess need for the smarting of a belt. I’ve become a better person, mother and friend thanks to their persistence that I was important enough to wait on.
I decided the best place to throw Ryland a party is where it all started, the Rioting Devils’ clubhouse. Mitz has already started the preparations and is just waiting on Queenie and me to arrive with the birthday girl.
We’re halfway through the hour and a half drive when Queenie shocks me with her confession.
“You know I’m a pain whore too.” She says as if she’s asking me about the weather.
“No, I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, when I met your dad, the only way I felt adequate is if someone hit me. See, I grew up with an alcoholic mother and father who’d rather me be seen and not heard. When I had nothing to offer them in the way of buying their next case or fifth of gin, they hit me, sometimes to unconsciousness.” She looks at me waiting for me to respond, but what do you say, ‘sorry your family was fucked up,’ so I remain quiet and wait for her to continue.
“When I got older and people were nice to me, it scared me. I felt as though if they weren’t hurting me, they didn’t love me. I meet your dad and Brute at a club party. I’d come with a few of my girlfriends expecting to have a good time and possibly have a biker or two rough me up.”
“What happen?” I whisper.
“I got tanked and ended up in a room with your dad and Brute. I taunted them at first trying to piss them off enough that they would raise a hand, but they didn’t. After twenty minutes of calling them names and spewing a bunch of shit, Brute finally broke. He grabbed me around the neck and shoved me hard against a wall.”
“Fuck.” I mumble.
“Yeah, it was a high I’ll never forget. When he stopped and just held me there, I was lost. I couldn’t understand why. Your dad and Brute were to me what Poison and Banshee were to you, they figured it out and they found ways to settle me. My need may be different than your need, but it’s the pain we thrive on.”
I turn my head to look out the window and confess. “From time to time, the need is overwhelming, but I’m afraid to ask Spook. Our relationship has been nothing but turmoil since the day we met and I’m scared to rock the boat. When I was with Mad Dog, he introduced me to a punching bag. It worked while I was there to ease my mind, but when I came home to everyone always hovering, the want and need clouded each other and it was overpowering.”
“Spook knows you have that desire. He, also, knows that it’s different than mine. I needed it to feel wanted or loved. You need it to escape.”
“I just don’t want him to feel like I don’t appreciate what he’s already done to calm my demons. He tries so hard making sure that I’m in the right frame of mind that I worry he’s going to get tired of having to watch over me like a child.”
She shakes her head. “That man loves you. When he came home and you were gone, he was beside himself. He attached himself to Ryland and rarely let us look after her. The day he talked to you after not hearing your voice in months was the happiest I’d see him in a long time. He was on cloud nine.”
“I love him too and it scares me to death. I have this perfect man who’s accepted me and my daughter. I know if I called him right now, he’d drop everything for me. But I feel like our relationship is one-sided. What do I bring to this relationship except mayhem?”
Queenie laughs. “You don’t see it at all. He was lost and you and Ryland gave him purpose. Yeah, he had the club, but that’s it. The woman he thought was going to be is everything betrayed him in the worst way for a biker and then instead of letting him be, she tried to take the one thing that made him feel whole, you. He’s watched his brothers fall in love and start families. He locked his heart up years ago and finally handed you the key. You bring love, understanding and loyalty to your relationship with him and most can’t say the same.”
As we pull into the Devils compound, I see Spook waiting. Lifting his head and realizing it’s us, a genuinely happy smile emerges. He jogs to the backdoor and opens it to a giggling Ryland. He takes her out of her seat, grabs her diaper bag and places her on his hip.
Closing the door, he pulls me into his side and kisses my forehead. “Princess, it took you forever to get here. Mitz is driving us nuts. The guys have been hanging fucking streamers and balloons for hours and when we think we’re done, she has pink linens for the tables.”
I laugh at the haunted expression on his face. “She only turns one once, Spookie, so nut up and get over it.”
We walk into the main room to six hardcore bikers hanging a princess ‘happy birthday’ sign and pink and purple balloons. I watch as Spook places Ryland steadily on her feet and she begins to wobble her way to Trigger.
As Ryland grunts and groans, because it’s so hard to walk when you’re used to being carried everywhere, Trigger turns to her and snatches her up. “It’s the birthday girl.” He says melodically as he swings her around. “You want some cake?” Ryland grunts. “You want a sucker?” Ryland grunts but this time she grabs a hold of his thick brown beard. “Little lady, we had this discussion. You pet a man’s beard, you don’t pull it.” She pulls it harder.
My dad comes up behind Trigger and clucks his tongue at her. Pulling her attention f
rom Trigger, she reaches her arms for my dad. “That’s right, baby girl. You don’t need to be hanging around the likes of him. He’ll get you in trouble like he does all the other kids.” He lifts her in his arms and blows raspberries on her stomach causing her to erupt in a fit of giggles.
Realizing how much everything has changed in a little over a year is priceless. As much as I would’ve loved to have my father and brother for all these years, I know I wouldn’t have the one part of my life that I’m proud of the most, Ryland.
***
Spook
Standing back and watching the little girl and woman that have stolen my heart reiterates how much I need them in my life. My life is almost complete; I just have a few more items to put the last touches on. One of which I’m taking care of in a few minutes.
Shaking out of my thoughts with the sound of Greer laughing, I see that Ryland is covered in pink and purple icing. Her little hands are reaching for Greer as she tries to clean her face as Ryland gets a hold of Greer’s hair and adds colorful highlights to it.
I stride over to them and Ryland turns her attention from Greer to me. I have no issues picking up my messy little girl.
She puts her hand close to my mouth and I pretend to bit it with my teeth. She snatches her hand back and giggles. She puts both her icing caked hands on my cheeks and pushes them together. Smacking her lips to mine, I give my little girl a quick peck.
I catch movement to my right and glance at Greer. She’s wiping tears from her own cheeks.
“What’s wrong, Princess?” I ask softly.
“Nothing, I’m just delirious with happiness.”
I pull her into my unoccupied side. I bring her lips to mine. A slow innocent kiss turns heated in seconds. Ryland takes that moment to slap our faces with her hands.
“Someone’s jealous.” I chuckle into Greer’s mouth.
“Just a bit.” Greer states as she steps back.
I survey the room looking for Mitz. She just didn’t help organize this party, but she helped me with Greer’s surprise or at least I hope it’s a surprise she accepts.
Making eye contact, Mitz nods and heads towards the kitchen. She comes back momentarily carrying a nice-sized box. Brute steps forward and takes Ryland from my arms and Mitz hands me the box. Greer looks on with confusion.
“Princess, since the day you made me the OBGYN of the Devils, you have held a piece of my heart. The weeks and months following just solidified your hold on me. When you left and I didn’t know where you were, a part of me crumbled. The day I heard your voice after so many months without it, the spark reunited.” A small smile forms on her lips and tears glisten her cheeks. “You’ve become a non-replaceable part of me that I could never imagine being without. Ryland is precious to me in more ways than words can explain. I would walk through a tornado for both of you and pray for survival just to be next to you two for another day. In this box is something that means everything to a biker and if you accept it, you are vowing to be mine for eternity.”
I hand her the box. She slowly pulls the lid off setting it on the highchair. Pushing aside the tissue paper, she pulls her black leather kutte with ‘Property of Spook’ plastered on the back.
She brings it to her chest and holds it tightly. Bowing her head, she lifts it to her face. She nods frantically, but I need the words.
I step towards her and lift her chin with my finger. “Words, Princess.”
“Yes.” She whispers and that’s all I need. I pick her up and hold her tight as I bury my face into her neck.
Greer just made me the luckiest fucker in the world by agreeing to be my ol’ lady and in turn allowing me to be in Ryland’s life as well.
Chapter 26
Spook
I wake to a piercing scream jolting me out of bed to Greer kneeling at the door. She’s looking up to the ceiling with her arms reaching high.
Before I can reach her Trigger and Poison clad in boxer briefs pick her up off the floor. I approach cautiously and bend so I’m face to face with her.
“Princess, what’s wrong?” She hiccups and points to Ryland’s crib that’s empty.
I look to Trigger and Poison who’ve now been joined by Rudy, Queenie, Mitz, Chase and Lily. They all look just as confused as me.
Trigger shakes her arm lightly gaining her attention. “Where’s Ryland, Gee?”
Her only answer is a shrug of her shoulders. Until she hiccups and splutters, “she not in the clubhouse.”
Trigger passes her to Mitz and Queenie who help Greer to the bed where she collapses in a fit of tears. I look to my brothers for help.
Trigger’s face is void of any emotions. “There’s no way she could have left this club without someone seeing her. Shit, we partied until four in the morning.”
Rudy interrupts. “We need to find out who isn’t here that was last night. I don’t like putting blame on my brothers or the Devils, but Trigger’s right.”
We traipse through the clubhouse opening doors. After twenty minutes of banging on doors and doing roll call, everyone that was here last night is accounted for except Ryland has disappeared without a trace.
The dread in the pit of my stomach becomes more unbearable and I bend placing my hands on my knees as I try to catch my breath. A slap on my shoulder has me turning my head to see Trigger in much the same state as me.
I slowly stand and face him completely. “Who the fuck would have the balls to come into this clubhouse and into our room?”
Trigger shakes his head frantically. “I don’t know, but they’re dead when we get our hands on them.”
We stare at each other with the rattled thoughts invading our minds as Brute stomps into the main room and bellows, “Church!”
I walk past the room I share with Greer and Ryland to see Greer has cried herself into exhaustion and is passed out peacefully with Queenie and Mitz standing vigil. I nod towards them and continue down the hall to the meeting room.
The table is full of Devils as well as the Chaotic’s that decided to stay last night. I have no need for sitting as I move from foot to foot in the corner plotting the demise of the bastard who had the gall to take my baby.
Brute cuts into my thoughts. “Professor and Einstein have been combing the security footage from last night. Everything was recording fine until around four-thirty. The system was interrupted and then it didn’t turn back on until five-thirty.”
Einstein adds is insight. “The only thing that could’ve interfered with the system had to have a high-frequency jammer.”
Poison slammed his open palm on the table. “When will this shit end? Damn, can Greer just get a fucking break for once in her life?” He glances around to each of the men at the table. “It’s already been over five hours. They could have her over the state line by now.”
Grunts and growls proceed and Rudy stands and begins pacing. “This is what I don’t understand; no one knew Greer had a kid except the Devils and the Chaotic’s. The whore swore on her dying breath that she didn’t tell anyone about Ryland.”
A soft voice interrupts the loud voices, “Mad Dog.” I turn to see a red-eyed Greer. “We need to call Mad Dog.”
“Where’s your phone, Princess?” She hands it to me and I scroll through her contacts to Mad Dog. He groggily answers. “Mad Dog, its Spook. We’ve got a situation in Georgia.”
He clears the sleep from his voice. “What’s going on?”
“Someone came into the Devils clubhouse early this morning and took Ryland out of her crib.”
“What time? I need to know so I when I get into the cameras around town and at the stop lights close to the club I have a time period.”
“Between four-thirty and five-thirty, they hacked into the security system and the cameras went haywire.”
“Give me an hour.” He growls and hangs up.
I turn to the room and slide Greer into the crook of my arm. “He’s going to break into the cameras around town and close to the clubhouse to see what he can find.”
***
Greer
Waiting was never my strong suit, especially when my little girl is involved. Why take her now? If it’s one of Dimitri’s thugs, what need do they have with her while Dimitri is in prison?
So, many questions flutter through my mind with no answers.
The main room is overcrowded with all the Devils and the majority of the Chaotic’s. Even the Chaotic’s who left yesterday afternoon have come back to help in the search for my missing baby. If I was in the frame of mind to feel grateful I would, but all I feel is emptiness. Ryland has been my saving grace. She gave my life meaning when I should’ve just given her up to be raised by a better woman, but I was selfish with her and ended up putting her in danger.
In the past months, my mother still hasn’t been found dead or alive and she is suspect number one in my book. The only problem with that is that she’s not smart enough to get past a bunch of bikers or have the resources to scramble a security system.
Mad Dog has about four minutes before I start blowing up his phone for answers. Every man in this room is beside himself for letting their guard down, but how were we to know that Ryland was even an object on someone’s radar.
My phone ringing breaks the silence in the room. Before I can pick it off the table, Spook snatches it up and stands.
“Yeah.” He growls and listens intently. He holds the phone from his face and puts it on speaker setting it on the coffee table. “Go ahead I got you on speaker.”
“It’s interesting that you don’t have the slightest clue who took her, but from the cameras from the house across from the club gate, a black pickup leaves ten minutes after the cameras were fucked with. Whoever was at the gate at quarter to five waved the person through. The camera caught a child in the backseat asleep.”
I take in the room again and see Peabody bow his head. I stand and stomp towards him. I grab him by the back of his head and yank his head back. “Who the fuck left that you let out?” I scream at him.