The Zil drove slowly down the block again, crawling as it neared the two girls. Sofia smiled, giving the occupant of the car a little wave. When Jana grabbed Sofia’s hand, Sofia pulled away.
The sedan stopped at the curb directly in front of them.
Jana was uneasy, embarrassed and upset. She edged away from Sofia, trying to ignore the car, pretending it was not there. But after a few seconds Jana couldn’t help herself and she sneaked a glance at the car. The back-seat window curtain was pulled back completely this time, and a man’s face was pressed against the glass. His lips were slightly parted, the yellow-green color of his teeth showing; his teeth seemed to fit badly in his mouth. His eyes caught the light through the window. Their color was like wet ashes, devoid of even a tinge of human warmth.
The man beckoned to Sofia, and Sofia, seemingly oblivious to what Jana observed, walked over to the door as it opened. A hand came from within, holding out a map to Sofia as if he were going to ask directions. Sofia focused on the map.
Instinct told Jana it was all wrong. Why would the passenger of a limousine ask directions, rather than the driver? And what government driver didn’t know every part of Bratislava by heart? Warning signals flashed in Jana’s mind. Sofia was in danger!
Jana broke into a run, lunging forward, screaming at her friend to come back.
Too late.
The man grabbed Sofia, pulling her into the car. The door closed behind her with a thud just as Jana reached it. The man glanced at Jana through the window as the curtain dropped. The Zil drove off, Jana running after it, trying to keep up, screaming for help, screaming at the car, screaming at the sky in frustration as the vehicle picked up speed. Frantic now, Jana tried to find a weapon, anything to use against the fortress of a car that seemed impregnable to her.
Jana finally scooped up a stone from the side of the road, stopped for a fraction of a second to get set, and threw the rock with force. The stone bounced off the rear window of the car, leaving a small star-shaped crack in the glass.
The car accelerated, reached the intersection and turned, out of Jana’s sight. Jana ran harder, desperate to save Sofia. When she got to the intersection, the car was no longer in view.
Panting from exertion and shock, Jana looked from road to alley and back, trying to decide which way to go. She scanned the street frantically, looking for someone to assist her, some pedestrian to ask for direction or advice. A store owner was rearranging a display of fruit in front of his shop, sprinkling the older fruit and vegetables with water to make them shiny and fresh-looking. Jana ran over to him.
“A black car; a black Zil,” Jana panted. “It passed by here. Which street did it take?” The man shrugged, indifferent, returning to his work without a moment’s thought. A woman came out of another store. Jana darted over to her. “Did you see it? The black government car. It was just here.”
“What?” The woman’s eyes shifted from side to side as if she were being accused of something. “I saw nothing. Nothing!” She scurried away, afraid to be associated with an event, no matter how trivial, which might involve her with the government. No one in Slovakia wanted to be involved in anything that might attract the attention of the bureaucracy.
Jana screamed with grief and frustration. The fruit dealer quickly walked inside his shop, closing the door behind him with finality. The woman scuttled down the street, her shoes rapidly click-clacking on the cement of the sidewalk as she put distance between herself and the young girl who was going to get them all in trouble. Jana forced herself to become calmer. She needed to think, to use her eyes more effectively. Her eyes swept the street and the alleys intently. At the head of one stood a puddle of water. Immediately behind the puddle were tire tracks, fresh tracks, still damp. It had to be the Zil.
Jana ran down the alley, and kept on running over to the next street. Then arbitrarily, because she had no other leads, she ran through the nameless maze of corridors that made up that section of Bratislava, scouring the alleys trying to search. One street radiated into another. She forced herself to keep on until she was exhausted, and still she kept going.
She did not find the car.
An hour and a half later, she found Sofia.
She was at another street corner, sitting on a curb, feet in the gutter, her clothes disheveled, her hair hanging down, looking like just another Gypsy child to the people who passed by without really looking at her, without realizing that she was in distress. Maybe they didn’t want to notice. Jana hesitated, wondering what to do, how to act. She finally settled down on the curb next to Sofia, murmuring “hello.” Sofia continued to stare vacantly at the ground without acknowledging Jana.
After five minutes of silence, Jana moved closer, just close enough to angle her body so she could look out of the corners of her eyes at Sofia. There was a small scratch on Sofia’s nose, running almost parallel to the tracks tears were leaving on her cheeks. Her blouse was torn on the side closest to Jana; the blouse itself was buttoned askew. When Jana faced Sofia, she saw that one of her friend’s shoes was missing, that blood stained Sofia’s once-white sock. A very thin trail of blood ran up the length of Sofia’s calf, up to a smudge of blood half revealed on her thigh, the rest concealed by her skirt.
Jana thought it over.
Even a twelve-year-old girl in Bratislava knew enough about men and women to be aware of what these signs indicated. The mothers of Slovakia, where so many girls become pregnant before they marry young, told their daughters the facts of life early and frequently in the hope that they would be able to avoid the worst. Sofia had listened, but not heard. Jana had been more receptive.
They sat quietly for another half hour. Eventually, Jana put her arm around her friend. Sofia, still silent, leaned on Jana’s shoulder. Then, judging the time was right, Jana attempted to straighten her friend’s blouse.
“I want to clean up,” Sofia whispered.
“I know,” Jana whispered back.
“I can’t go home this way.”
“We can go to my house,” Jana assured her, kissing her on the ear. “My parents aren’t home.”
Sofia nodded.
“Now, let’s go.” Jana urged Sofia to her feet, supporting her to make sure she did not fall, then smoothed her friend’s hair into a semblance of order.
“Thank you,” whispered Sofia. “I’m a mess. Everything is a mess, just a big mess.”
“I’m your friend. As long as we’re friends it will be okay. We’re friends for life, right, Sofia?”
Sofia nodded.
“That’s a good thing for both of us to remember.”
Sofia nodded again. She held up what looked like the handle from the inside of a door. “I grabbed it trying to get out. It broke off in my hand. I hit him with it.”
“You did the right thing.” Jana’s heart went out to her friend. She managed to hold her tears back. “I’m proud of you, Sofia.”
They began to walk. Sofia was stiff, moaning softly from pain as she moved. Jana put her arm around her friend’s waist, trying to ease her distress.
“Friends for life,” Sofia got out.
“Yes,” said Jana. “Forever.”
They reached Jana’s house twenty-five minutes later. Immediately, Jana drew a hot bath for Sofia, helped her into the water and watched her friend try to recover from her ordeal. Sofia sat in the bath until the water was cold. Then Jana helped a dispirited Sofia dry herself, at the same time supporting her to make sure she didn’t fall. She walked Sofia into her own bedroom and found a fresh pair of panties and a clean blouse to take the place of Sofia’s torn ones. After a few minutes, Jana managed to comb Sofia’s hair, then made arrangements with Sofia’s parents for her to stay with Jana overnight without telling either of their mothers what had happened.
The next day Jana confided in her father. Her father was the only one she trusted enough to ask for advice. He listened carefully until she was finished.
“You acted bravely,” he told her. “She was fooli
sh.”
“What should I do, Father?”
“Sofia hasn’t told anybody?”
“She doesn’t want people to know. It would be horrible for her.”
The judge thought about it. “The man in the Zil had to be a high government official.” He sat quietly for another long moment. “You must do what you think you should. But I believe she’s right to want this to be kept silent.” He leaned closer to Jana trying to convey his thoughts without imposing his will on his daughter and, by influencing Jana, imposing his will on Sofia. “If, in the future, this man were identified, I don’t think it would make any difference. Not under these circumstances. They’d do nothing. The police, the government, would remain deaf. Or worse. And Sofia? Well, I think Sofia wouldn’t fare very well. They’d call her names. They’d make her out to be something terrible, a person of no morals, even a prostitute who deserved what she got. They would heap scorn on her, and on her family. I’ve seen it done before when one of them is involved. It’s always the person’s fault, not the official’s.”
Jana considered what her father had tried to convey. Even at the age of twelve, she could comprehend the possible future that her father had outlined. She projected the results of bringing the government into Sofia’s life. Sofia would suffer more. It was a terrible truth, but still the truth.
Jana conceded. “The neighbors, her family, they would all blame her.”
“All of them,” her father agreed.
“But this isn’t justice,” Jana finally got out.
“Sometimes justice has to wait.” Her father pursed his lips. “Sometimes there is no justice.”
“I don’t like that.” Jana was furious at the thought of Sofia’s brutalizer walking around free after what he had done. “And I don’t accept it. Perhaps justice will have to wait, but just for a few days.”
Her father kissed her on the cheek. “Maybe more than a few days,” he offered. He saw the anger and disappointment on his daughter’s face. He tried to reassure her. “Things eventually work out,” he said. “He’ll be punished.”
“Of course, Father. But by whom?”
He shrugged, not knowing what to say.
“There must be someone,” Jana suggested.
She listened to her own words: there had to be someone.
That same day Jana began to search, first for the Zil.
The window will need repair, she thought, which meant it would be brought to the government auto repair area, the large facility where all of the ministries’ autos are brought for servicing. No one stopped Jana as she walked quickly and surely onto the lot, looking as if she had business there. Almost immediately she found the car; the workmen were just finishing the replacement of the rear window.
“A lovely car,” Jana admiringly told one of them. “I want to be a high government person when I grow up so I can have one of these. Who does it belong to?” Jana smiled sweetly.
“Kamin, the minister of the interior,” the man told her.
He’s in charge of the police, thought Jana. Her father had been right. Sofia would not have gotten justice. She smiled again at the workers, left the lot, and the next day, immediately after breakfast, went to the building housing the Ministry of the Interior. By this time, the car had to have been repaired and returned to the minister. A few minutes later, she saw the limousine drive up and the man get out of the car. There was no mistaking the same ugly mouth, the eyes. It was him! Kamin. And he had a bandage over his left eyebrow.
Sofia had hit him with the broken door handle, and hit him hard enough to require medical treatment. Yes, said Jana to herself, she was proud of Sofia.
Jana didn’t tell Sofia what she’d learned, or seen. Sofia had to recover. They both had to grow up, to be able to protect themselves. But there would come a time. Jana promised herself: they would be ready.
Three weeks later Sofia threw Jana a surprise un-birthday party, as she called it. It was not even Jana’s name day. How Sofia did it, rounding up all the kids that they both knew, and getting Jana’s mother to host it without telling Jana, was a feat that Jana never quite got over.
Birthdays, not to speak of un-birthdays, are not celebrated with much fanfare in Slovakia. But the kids who came even brought small presents. Sofia baked a cake, not the best cake in the world, but splendid-looking, and Sofia was Miss Personality at the party, organizing everything, making sure that all the things she had planned went well.
After the party, when most of the guests had gone home, Sofia kissed Jana on the cheek. It was her way of saying thank you for what Jana had done for her on that terrible day.
They remained the closest of friends. But, as with all friendships, the bonds fracture or strengthen, depending upon fate. Jana did not tell Sofia about her discovery of the identity of the rapist until a couple of years later, when they were in their teens. And it took a stressful event to make her divulge that information.
Jana and Sofia had gone to Bratislava’s main square, Hlavne Namestie, to visit the Christmas Fair. They had money to spend because they had been working, selling live carp for Christmas dinners from a temporary stand on Frantiskanska, near the main post office. Although the job hadn’t paid much, it had already provided Jana with a pair of shoes at a discount, and Sofia with a dress which she could not possibly have afforded otherwise. Each still had a few crowns left in her pocket. Sofia was dying to spend hers, and she had dragged Jana along to keep her company, all the while encouraging Jana to “live a little less like a timid old aunt,” to be audacious for once.
They wandered through the Christmas stands and, at Sofia’s insistence, each had a glass of spiced wine when a man had offered it to them. After they finished the wine, the man kept asking them what else he could buy them and, despite their efforts to shoo him away, kept following them, demanding more. Jana was embarrassed at what Sofia finally did to rid them of the fellow.
Talking in a loud voice so that everyone in the crowd around them could hear, she pleaded with the fairgoers to help them because a depraved man was following them. He had bought them wine and was trying to get “terrible” things from two innocent girls. It didn’t take long for the crowd to begin closing in on the man, throwing things at him, screaming imprecations, even calling for the police.
He fled.
Afterwards, using their own money, they’d settled at a small table inside Meyer’s, ordered hot, thick chocolate to drink and two large pastries to go with the chocolate. Sofia did most of the eating.
It was hard for Jana to muster an appetite. Her stomach was still churning. Through her impetuous conduct, Sofia had involved Jana in a situation that neither of them should have been in. The first time it had happened, two years earlier, it resulted in the horrible assault on Sofia. Now, as a result of Sofia’s conduct, Jana had been forced to participate in an embarrassing incident.
Jana continued to be upset, reviewing her own behavior. After a few sips of the hot chocolate, she decided, between sips, that it was time to vent her simmering anger.
“If you weren’t my one true friend, I would kick you, and kick you hard, for what you put us through.”
Sofia wasn’t fazed.
“What sin did I commit? The man offered to buy us spiced wine. I like spiced wine; you like spiced wine. What was wrong with letting him buy us the wine? Nothing. We got the wine and he got the pleasure of buying two pretty girls glasses of wine. We even gave him pleasant conversation and our attention while we drank the wine.”
“Sofia, he expected more.”
“I didn’t tell him he could have more. He had no right to expect more.”
“Both of us knew that he would expect more.”
“Jana, if you felt that way, you didn’t have to drink the wine.” There was triumph in Sofia’s eyes. She had Jana, and she knew it. “As your one true friend, I’d like to point out that I acted in the best possible way for both of us. He was a pest, and becoming a worse pest. Even you’ll admit, he was uncomfortable to be around
.”
“We didn’t have to get to that point, Sofia.”
“We did, after he wouldn’t leave us alone.”
“Sofia, we’re friends, but I won’t be put in that position again. It should never have happened.”
Sofia regarded Jana with a faintly disdainful look.
“You were never put in any position. I took responsibility for the man following us; I took the responsibility, and the action needed to get rid of him. Now, all I’m interested in is my pastry and chocolate.”
“I’m not going to be fobbed off that easily.”
“I’m not fobbing you off.”
“You have to listen to me.”
Sofia took another forkful of pastry, savoring the taste. “My mother tells me I won’t be able to eat like this when I get older, so I’m enjoying it now, while I can. You should enjoy yours.”
Jana pushed the remains of her dessert away. “I don’t want any more.”
“Don’t be this way.”
“I’m the one who began this talk by asking you not to act in a certain way. You refuse to listen.”
Sofia pushed her now-empty plate to the center of the table, where it touched Jana’s. “See, even our plates are friends.”
Jana persisted, wanting to make what she thought was an important point, so she raised the subject neither had talked about since the event that had occurred two years ago.
“Kamin, that’s the name of the man who did what he did to you in the car.”
Sofia’s widening eyes and mouth revealed the shock she felt.
“You know who he is?”
“I found out.”
“How did you find out?”
“I found his car. Then I found him.”
“When?”
“A day or so after.”
“You didn’t tell me? You should have told me.” Sofia’s mouth snapped shut. “You should have told me!”
“I am telling you.”
“Then! You should have told me then.”
“What would you have done if I told you then? Who would you have gone to? Your parents? You didn’t want them to know. You didn’t want your neighbors to know. You didn’t want any of our friends to know. Have you changed your mind? Do you want everyone in Bratislava to know? Are you going to tell them?”
Dark Dreams Page 4