by Lauren Marie
“There’s nothing in that town for me. I want more and have it in Los Angeles with Max. You could have it, too, Stacy. That town really has so much to offer.”
Kate just stared at her. “I’m not Stacy and I don’t want what you offer. It isn’t for me. I have all I need here in Canon City.”
Edna stood up and walked to the end of the table. “I’m tired of your wasted life. You are only twenty-five and could be so much more than a waitress in this dumpy town.”
“You mean, I could be a porn star?”
“There’s a lot of money in it, sweetie, and you have a great body. Max says your legs alone would rake in the bucks. God, don’t look at me like that, Stacy. It’s just sex.”
Kate couldn’t believe the words that came out of this woman’s mouth. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Edna, because I don’t.”
Her mother came up to her at the window, but Kate didn’t move. She felt scared, but didn’t want Edna to think she felt intimidated.
“I wonder what would happen to your little life if someone were to accuse your boy-toy of rape? Or maybe he abused one of his little hockey boys,” Edna whispered and grinned at Kate.
Kate saw Jay come closer to the doorjamb. She knew he could tell by the look on her face that her mother said nothing good. “What?” She pushed away from the sill and stared at her mother. All of the strength she’d walked into the room with, sank into her shoes. Fear exploded back into her brain.
“Yeah, the little tramp that called me about you being here in Canon City...what was her name? Oh yes, Monica is more than willing to earn a few extra bucks. She could paint a very poor picture of how what’s-his-name treats women and how he stalked her.”
Kate continued to stare at her mother and felt her heart begin to pound. “You bitch.” She started to move past Edna, who grabbed her wrist and pulled her close.
“You know me well enough, Stacy. You know I’ll do it,” she hissed. “He’s nothing and it would ruin him completely. What would all those parents think if a rumor started about how he likes little boys? There’s no life for you here. Nothing. You may as well get over it and give in. Come to Los Angeles with me and let me show you how to live.”
Kate pulled her wrist out of Edna’s hand. “I never thought I’d truly meet evil, but it stands right in front of me now. How could you do that, Edna and still sleep at night? Don’t you have any heart, or is it rotted, like the rest of you?”
Jay and Frank, and her mother’s attorney all came back into the room when Kate started to shout.
“This is finished, Kate,” Frank said.
She didn’t hear him and moved quickly to the door. She saw Jay as she passed him and he looked very concerned. She couldn’t stop and kept moving to get away from the woman who claimed to be her mother.
Chapter Nineteen
When Kate got out the front door onto the sidewalk, she looked both ways and couldn’t remember which way to go. She wanted to get to her apartment, pack her duffle bag and get to the bus terminal before anyone could find her.
She ran along the side of the busy four-lane road until the sidewalk ended and then heard gravel crunch under her feet. She saw a big truck come toward her on the inside lane and she felt ready to throw herself in front of it. If it would keep her mother from continuing this game she played, then Kate was willing to give up her life.
Cars whizzed past her and the air from them made her hair swirl as her feet continued to move. Another big truck headed her way in the closest lane and she started to move right, when a strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her off her feet. Her lungs burned and she tried to fight against his strength. Jay’s arms were around her and he breathed hard, too.
“Let me go, Jay. Please, just let me leave. I refuse to deal with her anymore. It hurts too much and I can’t take it.” She tried to get out of his hold, but couldn’t budge him. “She’s never going to quit and leave me alone. I have to go.” She saw a BMW pull up to the curb and Frank looked up at them.
Jay opened the back door and put her onto the seat. She squirmed out of his hold and tried to open the other door, but Frank had it secure locked. Jay pulled her away from the door, but she just went wild and hit at him.
“God, what? Now I’m your fucking prisoner? Let me go.” she shouted and pushed away from him. She covered her face with her hands and continued to cry. “I know I promised not to run, but I can’t take it anymore. It hurts too much and you don’t know what she’s capable of doing. I’ll never be free of her, don’t you understand?”
All she could think was that she needed to go back to not feeling anything and live alone again. She needed to rely only on herself and no one else. It’s the only way people around her would ever be safe from Edna and her games. Kate learned new things every day and today she found out that she wasn’t meant to be happy. It wasn’t her destiny to have a man who loved her and friends. It wasn’t in her cards.
If she stayed in Canon City, Jay’s life would be turned upside down worse than it already was and he’d never forgive her. The knife in her heart told her it needed to end, she hated that thought, but she must leave. It was the only way out.
She could feel Jay’s eyes on her. It would be difficult to leave him, but she knew she must. He couldn’t be hurt by her stupidity. She loved him too much and he couldn’t pay the price for her. She looked out the window and realized they were headed back to Jay’s.
“Frank, please, take me to my apartment,” she said between sobs.
“Kate, sweetheart, I’d rather have you stay at Jay’s. You’ll be safer there,” Frank said over the seat.
“I don’t fucking care if I’m safe. I want to get to my apartment.” She looked out the window and continued to cry. She couldn’t look at Jay; it would make her go insane.
“What did she say to you, Kate?” she heard Jay ask.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m leaving.”
“Fine, then I’ll go with you,” he said. “Frank, can we go back to your office? I’ll need to pick up the Jeep.”
Frank turned the car into a strip-mall lot and parked. He shut the car off and turned around in his seat. “What did she say, Kate?” he asked.
“I’m sorry I wasted your time, Frank.” She leaned against the door and rocked back and forth. “You’re a very good attorney, but she’s too much and I don’t think you know enough to fight her. In the long run, she will win if I don’t get out of here.”
“Kate, you didn’t waste my time. Remember when I said she’d pushed your buttons for too long? You are letting her do it again. What did she say?”
“I told you before, it doesn’t matter.”
“It sure as hell must have mattered; you were white as a sheet when you came out of the conference room. Should I see if I can figure it out?” Frank’s voice went deep and very serious.
She looked at him. “Please, let me out of the car.”
“No, Frank. Don’t let her out. She started to run in front of a truck,” Jay said and reached for her.
She backed into the door away from him and felt tears continue to roll down her cheeks. “I promise not to run into the traffic, Frank. Please.” She sounded flat even to herself. Between the sobs and sniffles, her promise didn’t sound valid. She couldn’t let herself feel anything or she’d come apart and would need a crazy house.
She heard a door open and glanced toward the front of the car. Frank got out, shut the door and leaned against it.
“You promised you wouldn’t push me away, but since that wasn’t true, how can I trust you not to hurt yourself?” Jay asked.
Kate heard the question, but only shrugged. “It was only a spur of the moment thing. I wouldn’t have really done it. I don’t want to be road kill.” She couldn’t look at him, it already hurt too much. If she looked into his beautiful brown eyes she’
d break down and didn’t think she’d ever stop crying. She realized her plan was dead in the water.
“Kate.”
She heard pain in Jay’s voice and felt his hand on her leg. She tried to get closer to the door, but there wasn’t any more room. She wanted to fall into his arms and feel his strength and warmth, but knew she couldn’t. It would give him the wrong idea and she didn’t want that.
“I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, Jay. It has to be this way.”
Jay put his fingers under her chin and tried to turn her to face him, but she looked back out the window. “If you’re going to break up with me, then you’ll need to look me in the eye and tell me. It’s the only way I’ll believe you.”
She felt her lip tremble and closed her eyes. She put her forehead on the window and felt the cool from the glass on her skin. “I can’t...I don’t know...it’s too much.”
“I don’t know what your mom said to you, but we can get through...”
“No, we can’t!” she shouted at him. “I have to leave.”
“Okay then, as I said, I’ll go with you. Where are we going? I want to call my folks so they don’t worry and I’ll need to make arrangements at the rink.”
“No, you have to stay. The rink needs you, the hockey team needs you...” She started to cry all over again.
“Sweetheart, you need me worse than they do, right now. If it means we go for a while, then we’ll do it.”
Kate finally looked at him through the blur of tears. She wanted to agree with him, but knew she couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to him to take him away from his life. She looked at the back of the seats in front of her. “No, I don’t want you to come with me and I don’t need you.” She looked back out the window.
His hand came up to her chin and turned her face. He moved his hand up her cheek and touched the tears. “Kate, look me in the eye and tell me that. Tell me you don’t love me and the life we can have together is just a joke. Tell me to my face,” he said, quietly.
She felt her eyes well up again and tried to look away, but he wouldn’t let her turn her head. She couldn’t say it, because she knew it would be a lie.
“I thought so. Did your mother threaten me?”
Kate felt the waterworks start all over again and run down her cheeks around his fingers. “Jay, I won’t let her hurt you...I can’t...I won’t let it happen.” Her voice faded and she put her hands over her face. “I don’t understand how anyone can be this way.”
“Babe,” Jay whispered and pulled her over the seat into his arms. “Thank you for trying to protect me.”
She tried to push away from him, but his arms wrapped around her. The idea of being safe didn’t exist for her, even though Jay’s hold on her should make her feel that way. She knew what damage a gossip mill could do and felt so afraid for Jay. She thought about that bitch, Monica, and didn’t know what to do about that scenario. She heard the car door open and saw Frank get in and lean over the seat.
“You two are hugging, this is good. What did your mother say, Kate?”
“She threatened to do something to me,” she heard Jay answer for her.
Kate kept her eyes closed and tried to stop crying. The front of Jay’s sweatshirt was wet and she was pretty sure she looked horrible.
“What did she threaten?” Frank asked.
“She won’t say, Frank,” Jay said.
“Jay, could you get out of the car for a minute?”
“What? Why?”
“I need to talk to my client for a moment,” Frank said. She could hear a stern attorney sound in his voice.
Jay huffed and started to loosen his grip on Kate. She looked up at him and knew she should say something, but couldn’t figure out the right words to use.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Jay put his hand back onto her cheek.
“Yeah.” She watched him open the door and unfold his tall frame from the seat. He slammed the car door and leaned against it. She looked over the seat at Frank, who handed her a couple of napkins.
“Those are from my non-existent lunch.” He waited while she blew her nose and dried her cheeks. “Okay, Kate, its brass tacks time. What did she say?”
Kate looked at her hands and felt the fear overwhelm her. “She threatened Jay. She’s been in touch with that Monica woman, who’s going to say Jay raped her. Edna also said she would start a rumor that Jay is abusing some of the boys on the hockey team. Frank, it will ruin him and he’ll never be able to have a serious business again. I know what rumors can do and it’s not good. So you see...it’s best, for Jay...I should leave and then Edna won’t mess up his life.”
She saw Frank get angry and then he nodded. “I’m going to start the suit, this afternoon. I think we can get these other threats under control, too.” He looked at Kate. “Sweetheart, I don’t want you to worry. I know you will, but let Jay take care of you. Try to relax and I’ll be in touch this afternoon. Knock on that window and let lover boy know he can get back in.”
Jay got back into the car and looked at them both. “So, did you tell him?”
Kate nodded. “Frank,” her voice came out weak. “Let’s go back to your office. Jay needs to pick up his Jeep.” She wiped her eyes again with the napkins and held them tight in her hand.
“Frank’s taxi service is happy to take you anywhere,” he said as he pulled the car out of the parking lot.
“What are we going to do?” Jay asked.
“You two are going home and not making any moves until you hear from me later. I’ve got a couple of leaks in the dam to repair. I want you to relax tonight and try to get some rest. I know it will be hard, but just try.”
Kate shrugged again and thought it didn’t really matter. She needed to leave and let Jay get on with his life.
Chapter Twenty
When they got back to Jay’s house, Kate washed her face and lay down on top of the comforter on his bed. Jay talked on the phone with the rink and she didn’t want to know what arrangements he made. She needed to separate herself from him. As much as she hated it, she knew this was for the best. She put her hand over her eyes and took in a couple of deep breaths to keep from crying. As much as she didn’t want to feel, she was miserable. Jay was such a good man and didn’t deserve the unhappiness she’d brought into his life. She knew she needed to get away from him and leave Canon City. There wasn’t anything else for her to do.
“Hey, sweetheart. Are you hungry?” he said.
She felt his hand on her hip. “No, I’m fine,” she answered and rolled onto her side with her back to him.
He lay down behind her and put his arm around her. “No, you’re not fine. I can tell by the tone of your voice and you’re shaking again.”
“I’m just tired of all of this. I thought for five minutes...never mind, it doesn’t matter.” She moved away from him and sat on the edge of the bed and then stood up. “I’m going outside.”
“Can I come with you?” He rolled over and stood up.
“It’s your house, Jay. You can do whatever you want.” She went down the stairs and he followed her. At the double doors, she undid the lock and stepped onto the deck. She sat on the top step and looked out at the yard. There were tall trees and bushes all around the lawn. They looked wild and Kate wanted to be that free. Jay sat down next to her.
“You’re not going to tell me what your mom threatened, are you?” He nudged her shoulder.
“Frank’s going to take care of it. He said not to worry.” She put her arms around her knees and put her head down.
“He’s a really good attorney. I never would have thought he’d do so well when we were in high school. Frank never acted serious about anything then. I think his dad wanted him to be on the football team, but he did everything he could to do the opposite of what his dad wanted. He got really serious in college.
When he went to law school his dad was pissed. His dad is a doctor and he wanted Frank to follow in his footsteps.”
Kate felt his warm hand on the back of her neck. He rubbed it and her shoulders and back. It felt good and relaxing, but she didn’t want that right now. She needed to stay alert, in case her mother tried to do something. Kate thought the restraining order was probably a joke. Her mother would do what she wanted. She pushed his hand away from her shoulder, but didn’t move. She needed to make him not want her. How could she make him not want her, when all she wanted to do was fall into his arms? The plan snuck back into her brain and she thought she might be able to make it work.
“Hey, are you in there? You’re so quiet,” Jay asked near her ear. “I think I’ve asked you that already once today. Talk to me, Kate.”
“Yeah, I’m in here. I just don’t have much to say.”
“Kate, you are scaring the crap out of me. I don’t know what I can do to help you and it’s making me feel like an idiot boyfriend. I know you’re thinking about ways to get away from me and leave Canon City. If you want to continue to run, I can’t stop you, but you can be damn sure I’m going to fight you tooth and nail, to get you to stay. I love you so much Kate, it’s a wonder how I ever existed before we met.” His voice began to crack and Kate turned her head to look at him. She could see tears in his eyes and it killed her to cause him such pain. “I want to trust that you’re not going to try to leave, but I’m sorry, I can’t and it’s driving me nuts.”
She sat up and put her arms around his ribs. The tears started to roll again. “I’m sorry I brought all of this into your life. Earlier, I tried to make you not want to be around me. I thought I could get you to want me to leave.” She laughed and looked up at him. He was a blur through her tears. “That didn’t work very well. I want you to hold me worse than anything. I don’t want you to hate me.”