by Nicety
The right of Nicety to be identified as author of this Work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
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NicetyCouture
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you to my family, I will love you all until the end of time. You are the air that I breathe. To my friends, thanks for keeping me afloat when I thought I would sink. To my fans and many followers, I love you all more and more each day. Thank you for the love and support you deliver each day! To my cover model, Jeanette Tools, thanks for doing your thing on the photos and being patient with me throughout the entire design process. You rock everyday, all day!
To book Jeanette Tools for cover modeling, contact: [email protected]
DEDICATION
I would like to dedicate this book to my family and my friends who supported my dream of becoming a published writer. They believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself years ago. I’m making you proud now! Also to my readers for without you there would be no me. I love you all!
To some very special readers who have been rocking with me and supporting me from day one, I love you all. This book goes out to Latosha Scruggs, Jackie Figueroa, Yung-Lit, Tiffany Haynes, Camille Lamb, Nefertaria Ayo, Fallon Willis Blaqk, Keyanna Savage, Shemika Jones, Sharon Blount, Courtney Bryant, Keona Day, LaShaun Cadney, Rosalyn Reed, Shanta Shaw, Me’Tova Hollingsworth, LaSonya Steger, Lakenya Ross, Candice Preyer, Tiffany Williams, Nae Martinez, Shikira Hoy, Tona McCoy, Shamella Skipper, Linda Jiggets, Marissa Palmer, Tonia “First” Maurice, Sistar Tea, Sandy Sims, Carla Towns, Brandie Davis, Joy Hammond Nelson and Tanisha-PhatPhat. I’d also like to dedicate this book to the Facebook Book Clubs that support me!!! Love you all! Special Shout outs to #TEAMNICETY, the bullets to my nine!
To my besties…you all know who you are but your love and support knows no bounds. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for always supporting me and making sure that I remained focused on the task at hand, which was getting your books to you on time. Laughing but dead serious. To my children Daresha, Destinii, and Dakayla, mommy loves you more than she can say! To my husband, the perfect verse over a tight beat. Thanks for being nothing more than you!
**If I have forgotten anyone, know that I love you still**
IF YOU STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. **
NICETY
TABLE OF CONTENTS
KILLING ME SOFTLY
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
BEAUTIFUL NIGHTMARE
KILLING ME SOFTLY
Chapter 1
May 13, 2005- Friday the 13th
“Damn, baby. You know them titties looking mighty good bouncing up and down in that tight ass shirt.” Spliff spat out of breath with his heavy Trinidadian accent and reaching out his hand to her.
“Nigga, stay focused.” Goddess retorted as she grabbed his hand struggling to hold on to the black duffle bag strapped to her back.
Danger lurked around every corner as Spliff and Goddess fled across the street to the trap house on King Street. They ran straight in the door and locked it tight, lucky that the crack heads didn't give a shit about locking their doors for safety. The hot Atlanta climate was so dry that it felt like a sauna in there as the prominent stench of foul ass and blown coke filled the night air. They headed for a back room and could hear the sirens in the distance as they ducked on the side of the window carefully peeking out to gain sight of the peoples. The crack heads loitering in the dark crevices of the room began moaning uncontrollably and yelling obscenities while fidgeting with their tattered garments as if they itched badly. Spliff tried to calm them by waving his hands wildly, whispering angrily hoping that would quiet them.
“Shut the fuck up!”
But it was no use. They just grew louder and angrier. They didn’t want the fugitives in their domain crowding their space and bringing trouble. Goddess shook her head at Spliff snickering silently covering her smile with her hands. She waved for his attention urging him to leave them alone before tried to retaliate. She then looked slightly out the window checking for any signs of the cops.
“I think they’re gone.” She whispered as her back pressed against the wall.
Spliff became fed up with this one crack head that increasingly became louder defying his requests to be quiet. He knew that he would alert the cops to their presence for sure. So he walked over to him, kicking and stomping the shit out him with his big heavy black combat boots.
“Shut the fuck up nigga, damn!” He bellowed.
“Spliff get the fuck over here and leave that nigga alone, damn! If anything you ain’t doing nothing but making it worse.” Goddess demanded.
Just as she was shaking her head at the pitiful ordeal the room flooded with a swarm of plain clothed cops. They came bursting through the window crashing glass everywhere and breaking the hinges off of the door pointing guns directly in their faces and chanting.
“Put your fucking hands in the air! Don’t Move!”
Her eyelids felt like they weighed a million pounds as Goddess slowly closed her eyes and reluctantly put her hands on her head. Her heart sank as well as she realized they were undoubtedly caught. The cops brought her to her knees to wrap her hands around her back and throw some zip ties on her wrists. She watched as they did the same to Spliff. They made eye contact for a brief second; tossing each other a silent ‘I love you’ as Goddess was brought to her feet to be forcefully escorted out the house. The cops searched the room thoroughly with huge flashlights for evidence and found the bag of credit cards sitting next to the window that Goddess had dropped when they came in. She shamefully lowered her head in disbelief as they scooped up the bag and three other cops began interrogating Spliff on how they had acquired the contents of the bag.
“Yo, I ain’t telling you shit.” Spliff repeated over and over to everything they spat at him.
He was cocky and confident that way. They brought him to his feet where one of the police officers with captain’s badges looked him square in the eye. He was overweight and seemingly out of breath from simply talking and chewing the tasteless gum in his mouth. He chewed the gum like it was his last meal releasing spittle every time he turned his head.
“You going to jail for an awfully long time boy.” The fat white haired cop sneered.
Spliff hated that word, boy. It made him feel like he wasn’t respected as a man especially coming from an o
ld white pig like the one standing in front of him. He gave a look like he was going to fuck the cop up curling his eyebrows over evilly but the cop didn’t appreciate it not one bit.
“Look away, son of bitch!” The cop demanded adamantly “I said look away Got damn it!”
He wouldn’t. Spliff hawked him down something evil like for a few seconds more never blinking an eye. He wanted to let him know that no matter what how badly he tried to punk him he was a man first and would hold his own, period.
“You done fucked up now, boy. And ain't no one gonna look for ya cause we know yous an orphan.” The cop said as he delivered a strong blow to Spliff's stomach sending him curling over in pain.
Spliff refused to raise his head and show the tears spewing from his eyelids. The cop signaled for the others to take Spliff out of the house and shoved him into the back seat of his squad car. They hauled Goddess out of there too but cut her zip ties then shoved her down into the grass.
“Hey what about my husband?” She yelled as they all loaded up to depart. They ignored her no matter how loud she became.
“Hey! HEY!” She yelled louder and louder but to no avail.
She ran towards the car holding Spliff and tried to bang on the window with her fist with strength enough to shatter the glass but it drove off too fast. As the car sped off she could see the faint image of his chocolate bushy bearded face in the back window. It was then that she knew she would never see him again. The love of her life of 5 years was gone forever.
The next morning, at their $325,000 luxury 4-bedroom home in Gwinnett County, Goddess rose from her king sized bed to the erratic ringing of her doorbell. She slipped on her pink satin robe and headed down to the door quickly hoping to see Spliff. She raced so fast to the door that she stumbled hard down the last few steps injuring her ankle momentarily. As she approached the door rubbing her leg, she looked out of the peephole and saw nothing. She grabbed the Desert Eagle out from the umbrella holder next to the door and placed it fiercely behind her back. Gritting her teeth, she opened the door to an empty porch. She looked down and was greeted by a tiny black jewelry box wrapped in perfectly tied red ribbon sitting on the welcome mat in front of the door. Goddess looked left then right trying to see if anyone was still around waiting to jump out at her. Once the coast was clear she grabbed the box then stepped back in the house securely locking the door behind her.
Spliff loved to surprise her with gifts so it wasn’t beyond her to believe that this could be another one of his romantic displays of affection. The excitement to open the box’s contents exploded inside of her. She sat the gun down on the floor and as she ripped through the shiny red ribbon and pried open the tiny black box her excitement quickly turned to pure unadulterated horror.
“AAAGGGHHH!!!”
Goddess’s scream was as high as the sound of nails on a chalkboard. The blood-curdling scream awoke the neighbors as people shuffled outside to see what the commotion was about. Goddess covered her mouth with one hand while tears formed in the corners of her eyes. She leaned against the door and slid down to the floor crying hysterically as she gazed into the box’s contents. Despite how horrific the display was she couldn’t bring herself to look away. Her worst fears had been confirmed that she would never see her beloved husband of four years again. Although he was gone forever, she could still look into one of his eyes for the very last time.
Chapter 2
November 2008
“Who is it?” A man’s voice yelled from behind the door.
“Its G. I need two, B.” Goddess responded back urgently.
The man opened the door just wide enough to slip his hand out snatching $20 out of Goddess’ hand and discreetly replacing it with 2 bags of dro. She clenched the bags in her hand then stuffed them in her pocket heading back down the street to her one bedroom low-income palace at the Brandywine Apartments. Her friend, Quetta, was able to pull some strings to help her get past the long waiting list of people. Rather than wait on some never ending list, Quetta asked one of her buddies if Goddess could rent out her apartment since the girl was moving in with her new beau. The girl agreed and Goddess had been there ever since.
After Spliff’s disappearance, Goddess wasn’t able to collect fully on his death from the insurance company. There simply was no body to determine the cause of death. She only gained a couple thousand dollars, which wasn’t even enough to save her house. Spliff had money stored away in case of emergencies since he didn't trust banks but he never revealed to her the private storage place where he kept all of their savings. She packed up all of the clothes and shoes she could carry and left the house for the bank to take over with only the leftover chump change she had in her pocket.
“Hey G. You smokin’?" Quetta hollered from her stoop.
“Fo’ Sho’”
Goddess flicked her curly shoulder length black hair up into a tight ponytail and rubbed the light sweat that had formed on her cocoa brown skinned forehead. She opened the door and slammed it removing her Atlanta A and M sweater from her thickness then tossed it on the floor. After being there three years, she thought she would be used to coming home to the mediocrity she now called her home, but she wasn’t. She sighed heavily never believing that at the tender age of 25 she would be living as pitiful as she was. Her sole purpose for marrying Spliff so young was so she would be set for the rest of her life, but those plans were quickly foiled. As she flicked on the lights and gazed around at the abomination she was forced to live in, the depression that had consumed her for the past few years set in even deeper.
The ugly tan colored walls painted throughout the entire apartment was depressing enough without having to deal with the rats and roaches that came along with it. Her apartment wasn’t nasty though. The bugs and rodents came from the apartments of the tenants who were. She despised the entire complex but had no choice since she had nowhere else to go. The only family she had left was her uppity grandmother and mother who lived in Chicago. Everyone else had died off for one reason or another and the others just didn’t want to be apart of the family anymore.
Goddess placed her back against the wall then slid down to the floor next to the remote and turned on the TV to the news. Her apartment did not have any furniture but she was lucky to have the 42” screen that Quetta was nice enough to get her one Christmas. It didn't hurt her pockets since she got it from a Black Friday sale.
Goddess barely had dishes but she so very rarely cooked and since she didn’t have any kids she didn’t get shit but a hundred and ninety three dollars in food stamps from the government. She never slept in the bedroom; it only housed the bags of clothes she was able to salvage from her house. The blunt was pearled and ready to be fired up as her patience wore thin waiting for Quetta to show up.
"Yeah." Goddess said in a raspy voice waking up to answer her cheap prepaid government flip phone.
"My bad, bitch. I can't come over." Quetta whispered from the other end.
“Let me guess. Sully won’t let you come out again huh?”
“What? Girl naw. I can do what I want, ya know? It’s just that…”
“Mmhmm.”
“Naw girl, it’s just he wanna kick it tonight and shit G, I just got a baby sitter and shit.”
“Girl, who you get to babysit them three bad ass kids, Quetta?” Goddess dug in her pocket for her clear lighter and sparked up the el.
“Shit, Peaches from upstairs.”
“Peaches? Don’t she got three bad ass kids of her own and she ain’t never got no food?”
“Dang, yeah Goddess. But I sent them some raviolis and she gon’ watch them for me and shit. I mean it ain’t like you gon’ watch a bitch kids for me.” Quetta rolled her eyes, sick of her inquisition.
“What about they’re daddies?”
That was a low blow. Goddess knew that Quetta had two baby daddies and only one of them dealt with her long enough to take care of his one son by her. Quetta was as ghetto as they came stan
ding 5’9” and 210 pounds of fun. She got her clothes from either the swap meat or some of her neighbor friends who couldn’t fit their clothes anymore and gave them to her since she was getting bigger and bigger. She lived off of the social security checks she got for all of her kids because they got lead from the paint in the hallways of their old apartment complex some years back.
Her twin girls were almost fourteen years old and her son was eight but they were so bad ass. They were always destroying anything in their path that it was amazing anyone would watch them. Quetta never disciplined them and always took their side when people confronted her about things they had done. She was too focused on keeping her hair in different shades of color and her nails cluttered with designs so she could keep her niggas guessing. Niggas that always found a need to put their hands on her.
“Whatever girl it’s your life. I’m just saying, no man would be able to fuck me and they don’t like my kids.” Goddess shook her head in disbelief at how her friend was acting.
“Whatever, G. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Quetta hung up on her angry at her words.
Goddess never gave a fuck what came out of her mouth. She felt like Quetta needed that tough love sometimes because she was so hard headed, putting her kids in front of some ratchet ass niggas. Just because Sully was a manager at Family Dollar and was making a little dough didn’t mean he cared to spend it all on her. But he was far from the hood dope dealing niggas that only hit it and quit it, which Quetta was used to. But in Goddess' eyes, no one would ever compare to the type of man Spliff was. He was like the Will to her Jada, the Hov to her Bey and even after three years losing him still pained her soul as if it were just yesterday.
She puffed on the el like it was her last, sucking hard enough to go into a coma. The fire at the end lit up her brown skin with every long drag she took. Her eyes focused in catching a glimpse of what was dancing across the TV screen. The news displayed the same thing it did everyday, killings and shootings that happened all around the Atlanta metro area. It did nothing but depress her even more. Somebody should murder the sons of bitches that murdered my baby. She thought, pinching the duct of the blunt sucking the last little bit out of it before putting it out in her window seal. Goddess grew weary from watching the bullshit sliding her head down to the awfully gray colored carpet and drifting off to sleep.