“Yeah,” Sway said absently. “I hope she likes the show.”
Harrison went to walk away and then turned around again. “Wait. I wanna make sure I have this figured out.”
Sway faced him directly and nodded once. “Shoot.”
“You're a fan of hers? Before you met her, I mean. You read her books and loved them and... You're a fan.”
Sway nodded. “Yep.”
“And she's not a fan of the band?” Harrison asked.
The thought hadn't presented itself to Sway until that moment. He shrugged. “I don't know, I never asked.”
“Huh.” Harrison looked into the distance before shrugging it off and walking away.
Sway blew air out of his mouth and frowned down at the floor. Was she a fan? What if she hated rock music? What if this week was going to be awful for her?
“You're over thinking it,” Luke said, clapping a hand on his shoulder, startling him.
“How can you tell?” Sway asked.
Luke grinned at him and looked around the small backstage area. “Trust me. For once in your life.”
Sway smiled grudgingly and shook his head. “You're so damn bossy.”
“That's why I get to be in charge,” Luke said, his eyes twinkling.
***
Ryan had only been to one rock concert in her life. It was a huge stadium show for Bon Jovi. She'd gone with some friends in Florida and their seats were in the very back at the top.
It was a good memory, but she hadn't planned on making live music a part of her life.
This was slightly different.
Double Blind Study had been performing in arenas and stadiums for over a decade. It was second nature to them.
This was a bar. It was a far cry from what they normally played.
But God bless them if they didn't treat it just like they would a huge stadium.
Ryan was unaccustomed to the volume. It was loud. But not to the point of it becoming just irrelevant noise.
It was like the music reached into her chest and wrapped around her insides, demanding she become part of every song. She felt the intensity of the music like she never had before. Her heart beat fast, her skin came alive, and she was so very tempted to dance like she danced in her house when no one was around.
Sway was... dynamic on stage. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. His talent seemed so effortless. It was obvious how much he loved his job by the energy he brought. He danced, he played, he expressed. All without reservation or fear. He was beautiful.
Watching him, with the music a driving force pounding through her blood, she was compelled to be free.
To be... herself.
And just when she thought she wouldn't be able to keep a lid on it and would actually explode in a burst of light and sound, the set ended.
Ryan was unexpectedly disappointed. Glancing down at her wrist watch, she checked the time. Surely they weren't finished already.
A hand on her elbow tugged her into the crowd, heading towards the stage. Ryan stumbled along behind Zelda as she shoved through the people. As they closed in on the stage, several thoughts raced through her head. Were they allowed to talk to the band after that? What if they got in trouble? They couldn't just act like they owned the place. Then she remembered why she was there in the first place, and decided to just go with it. Zelda knew what she was doing.
They came to the front of the stage where the band members had collected and were signing autographs for people and taking pictures. It was crammed, but people were being patient and taking turns. Ryan was a little surprised with the relaxed atmosphere.
Sway was posed in a selfie with a young woman and Ryan tried really hard not to feel her heart stop. The girl had long dark hair and large blue eyes, her smile blinding. They took the picture and Sway looked up, spotting Ryan and immediately waved her that direction. She went. He stepped forward and wrapped both arms around her, startling her.
She wasn't used to being hugged. And she was so happy he was hugging her.
The warmth from his body quickly soaked through her clothes and into her own skin. It wasn't a normal hug. It was the kind of hug you give someone you've known for years. Someone you feel safe with, someone who is a part of your life in a very important way.
Ryan closed her eyes and fell into it. Her arms circled around his middle and she pressed her cheek to his chest.
“I think I have a new after-show ritual,” he said, his neck bent so his mouth was just at the shell of her ear. “A hug from Ryan. Nothing better.”
She should have kept her distance. She should have never come along on this ridiculous trip. She knew with certainty that she wasn't going to go home the same person.
But it was already too late.
She was already changed.
So she took a breath and sealed her fate. “Agreed.”
Chapter 12
Burn
“Where are you going dressed like that?”
Sway paused at the bottom of the steps on his way to the front door and looked down at his clothes. Jeans, flannel, Chuck Taylors. He looked back up at his father. “To work.”
Actually to a show. Their first big audience. It was on the college campus and Miranda had been passing out fliers all week, so they expected it to be pretty packed. Ever so slowly they had built a following. Their first few shows were terrible, but Luke made them practice and practice and practice, until they were... well, they still sucked. But now they sucked less.
His father's mouth hardened. “All that talent and you decide to waste it.”
Sway rolled his eyes as he slid his leather jacket on, pulling his hair out of the collar.
“Your grandmother's birthday is next week. Get a haircut by then.”
Sway's lips twisted. “Gran doesn't care if my hair is long. She likes me just the way I am.”
Ethan's harsh gaze narrowed on Sway and he looked back without flinching, daring the man to argue with what he'd just said. Because they both knew good and well that Ethan Schaeffer didn't have a problem with Sway's hair. He had a problem with Sway. And that's where all of this came from.
“We're having a show tonight, you should come.”
He wasn't sure why he had decided to announce it. He knew his dad would say no. But Sway wanted to brag. He wanted to rub it in his dad's face that he was doing what he wanted, with or without Ethan's approval. And it was starting to go somewhere.
“What would be the point of that? So I can be offended by your noise as well as your appearance?” Ethan asked, tossing his paper aside and raising his eyebrows.
Sway swallowed hard and nodded once. “I don't know why I asked.”
***
Moments.
Sway had lived his life in moments.
And up until this point, he thought he'd had some pretty good ones.
Ryan smiled shyly as she tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. He wasn't sure how it was possible, but she was even more beautiful than she had been the day before. It was actually a little disconcerting, how every time he looked at her, her beauty was amplified.
The show had been awesome, without a doubt.
But that wasn't what was making this the best birthday ever. It was all of it. It was the show, the location, the woman in the audience who was only there because Sway had asked her to be.
Ryan hadn't come along because she was a fangirl or a groupie. She came along because Sway had asked her.
Her walls that were so high and so impenetrable on the day they had met, were practically non-existent now.
He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Not right now. Not when she was relaxed and smiling up at him from his arms.
They were in a whole new place together. It's what he'd been hoping to achieve by the end of this week. He had no way of knowing it would happen on day one.
All he'd done was hug her. He had acted impulsively and ignored the suggestion of hesitation in his mind. He could have gotten a bloody nose, or have wrapped his
arms around a rigid statue. But that's not what had happened.
In truth, he had no idea what happened.
Nothing and everything all at once.
Suddenly they were in a place where they belonged. He found himself at rest in arms that were new. Never had he experienced such a definitive feeling of home.
He suddenly wanted her all to himself.
Sliding his hands up her back to her shoulders and then down her arms, he grasped her hands with both of his.
“You ready to get out of here?” he asked.
She nodded. That's all he needed.
Keeping one hand laced in one of hers, he gave an all-encompassing wave to the surrounding people and then navigated his way to the back door.
The hotel was across the street, but Sway made a side trip to a little grocery store next door. Ryan was giggling the whole way. With every musical sound that came out of her, Sway's desires were reinforced.
He stopped in the wine aisle and looked at the limited selection.
“So, red or white?” he asked seriously.
Ryan snickered as she let go of his hand and stepped forward. She selected a bottle and spun around, a huge smile on her face.
“Cabernet, huh?” he asked, taking the bottle and raising an eyebrow.
“Merlot is a filthy liar.”
Sway paid for the bottle and a corkscrew before they left for the hotel again. He had no agenda, no plan. He just wanted to talk to her and hear her laugh and finally be in a place where they could get to know each other without the outside world interfering. No creepy bearded men, no nosy friends, no responsibilities.
He'd heard the guys talk about the “tour bubble.” How it limited reality and made it easier to do what they wanted, to follow their instincts. Sway loved the tour bubble. He would live there all the time if he could.
Now he'd sucked Ryan into it with him.
“Did you like the show?” he asked when they'd gotten back to her room and she'd unwrapped the hotel provided paper cups.
“I did,” she said, holding out the cups for him to pour the wine into.
“What was your favorite part?” he asked.
She shrugged, handing him his cup. “All of it, I guess.” She took a sip and then took a seat in the chair that was by the desk. Sway chose to sit on the ottoman nearby.
“What was your favorite part?” she asked.
“You being there,” he answered honestly.
She rolled her eyes and hid her smile while taking another drink.
“Not even kidding.”
“Do you ever not flirt? Is that just your default setting?” she asked.
Sway grinned. “I don't know. Maybe.”
“Well, you're very good at it,” she said with a small laugh.
“Flirting is easier,” Sway said.
“Easier than what?”
“Easier than saying what I'm actually thinking.”
Ryan nodded and her eyes drifted to the floor. “I know that feeling.”
Sway took a drink of the wine and licked his lips slowly as he thought. “So, Sullivan Summers. Where did she come from?”
Ryan leaned back in the chair as she thought about it. “She's me. I mean, obviously. But she's also the part of me that isn't afraid to get the words out there.”
“You think people won't read your books if they knew who you really were?”
She nodded slowly. “That's part of it. The other part is I don't want some people to know what I'm doing now.” Sway frowned and she clarified. “People I've left behind. I don't want them reading my books and trying to find a hidden message or see themselves in something. Or try to ruin it for me.”
“Do you use things from your personal life in your writing?”
“Of course. But it's all subconscious.” She lifted a hand, palm up. “I'm sure you do it too, with song writing, though.”
“That makes sense to me,” he said. “Should I assume you have a fairly active love life based on some of the more steamy scenes I've read?”
Her face flushed red instantly and she looked away from him. “Stop lying, you haven't read my books.”
Sway let out a loud belly laugh. “Yes, I have! I was a wreck for more than a week last summer after Zelda got me hooked on your Folding Chair series.”
A bemused smile touched her lips. “I like that one too.”
“It turned my soul inside out and then demanded I kiss its feet. Which I did,” he tacked onto the end when she laughed at his description. “How do you do that? How do you reach into people like you own them?”
Her lips opened to speak but only air came out. She glanced at the ceiling, thinking. “I guess... I see people.” Her eyes dropped back to his, her expression open and unguarded, daring him to look right inside. “I see who they really are and then I tell their story. Because it deserves to be told.”
“Why do you act like you don't like people then?”
One side of her mouth pulled up shyly. “Because it's easier than dealing with them not liking me.”
The back of Sway's eyes burned at her vulnerability. He didn't know when the last time, if ever, she had ventured outside of her safety zone.
It was things like this that kept them hurtling forward so fast. Normal people took pauses, breaks in their “getting acquainted” stage. But not Ryan. She wasn't normal. He meant that in the best way. She cared very little for surface details and insignificancies. She was deep and bold. Every time she revealed just a little bit more of herself he felt himself fall, trip, stumble into her endless depth. He wanted to sink into her thoughts and listen to her words, wrapping everything about her around his brain and his soul until he had grown swollen with poetry and passion.
No, she didn't fit into this world easily. She existed in it, as a gift. Her spirit was wild and untamed and he was seeing clearer each new day how she resisted it. She held her own reins, keeping her tongue and mind in check.
It hurt to witness. Especially in these quiet moments when they were tucked away from the world and she let her words flow and her soul sigh.
“You're liked a heck of a lot more than you realize,” he said seriously.
She rolled her eyes, brushing it off like she did. And he let her. It was heavy and huge and he wasn't going to force her to unpack it tonight.
Ryan cleared her throat and then belted back the remainder of her cup of wine. “I think I need a refill.”
Sway immediately got up and grabbed the bottle, pouring another healthy dose into her cup. He topped himself off and then resumed his seat.
“Here's the truth about the love scenes,” she said softly, taking a deep breath. “My experiences are fairly... limited. I just happen to have a very vivid imagination.”
Sway thought he'd be disappointed. But there was something so incredibly sexy about her admission. She had a fantastic imagination. Almost as good as his.
“How limited?” he asked, his voice suddenly rough.
Ryan licked her lips and closed her eyes, her face still very red. “None of your business.”
“Then you shouldn't have brought it up.”
She frowned at him sharply. “You brought it up.”
“Then you should have lied,” he said with a crooked smile.
She snorted. “I'm not going to lie to you.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can't, okay?” She sounded irritated with him and he was loving it.
“Why can't you lie to me, sassy pants?” he asked playfully.
“Dammit, Sway,” she said, trying not to laugh at him.
“Fine, ask me something that you think will make me uncomfortable and we'll be even,” he offered.
Ryan didn't take a lot of time thinking about her question before she leaned forward eagerly. “How is your relationship with your parents?”
“Tense,” he answered instantly, not surprised in the least that she went for that mark.
“Why?”
“Because they wanted me to pursue a
career in classical music and I chose rock and roll.” That was the fast explanation. The details were less forgiving.
Ryan sat back, confusion playing with her expressive eyebrows. “Do you play a classical instrument?”
Sway nodded. “Yeah, I play seven.” He lifted one shoulder and smirked. “Well, I'm proficient in seven.”
Ryan's lips parted and her eyes went round. Her curiosity was frickin' adorable. He pushed his hair back and finished his cup of wine.
“I could have done whatever they had dreamed up for me when I was conceived. I'm very good with my hands and I can learn pretty much any instrument that I want.”
“Does—” she cleared her throat and tried again. “Does the rest of the band know that?”
“Oh yeah. Luke was the one who forged the notes to get me out of recitals.”
“And you play bass...?”
Sway's smile got lazy as he thought about the path he'd chosen. He poured himself some more wine. Ryan stretched her cup out for a refill, which he provided.
Still, after all this time, he never regretted it.
“I like the bass. I know in a lot of bands, the bass player is usually the least talented. I'm fine carrying that stigma. It doesn't hurt me. I play it because I want to.”
Ryan's eyes watched Sway's hands as he passed his cup back and forth between them. “You're really good with your hands, huh?”
“Someday I'll show you,” he promised. Her eyes flicked up to his and he sat as still as possible, their connection buzzing between them like a live wire. Looking into her eyes was like looking into the wilderness and not knowing if he was about to experience something profoundly life altering, or if he was about to be eaten alive.
“What else about you is going to surprise me?” she asked softly.
“Everything.”
Ryan swallowed. “Should I be scared?”
“Only if I can be scared with you.”
She smiled involuntarily. “What do you have to be afraid of?”
“Yeah, you're right,” Sway agreed. “I mean, who would be scared of falling in love with a girl he just met and ending up needing her more than he thought possible before knowing how she felt about him?”
It was a risky move, putting it all out there like that. But Sway was nothing if not impetuous. He was falling for her. It was only the truth, so why hide it?
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