He was pretty sure he'd like every version of her.
“So I think I've done a fairly good job of containing my excitement,” Zelda announced, slightly slurred, as she sat up straighter and tucked her legs underneath her. “Did Sway tell you that I was the one who got him hooked on your books?”
Ryan shook her head, flicking her eyes to Sway.
“Well, I did. And he cried like a little girl.”
“I did not,” Sway disagreed. “Get a handle on your woman, Harry. She's talking crazy.”
“Yes, you did!” Zelda insisted. “You were a complete wreck after book five.” She rolled her eyes and looked at Ryan. “But it was nothing compared to six.”
Sway's gaze drifted to the floor, the emotions that book had stirred were more personal to him than any other book he'd ever read. He still hadn't quite worked through all of the nuanced thoughts it had invoked. And he'd read it three times.
“That one was an important one,” Ryan said softly. He lifted his eyes to find her watching him.
“What made it so important? What made it different?” Zelda asked. “Because I agree, it's a heart wrecker, but I can't put my finger on a single reason why.”
Ryan smiled softly, inwardly. “I'm not sure. It just felt important when I was writing it. It was a story that demanded it be finished.”
“Was it easy to write? Did it happen fast?” Zelda asked.
Ryan's eyes remained steady on Sway. “No. It took a lot of time. I struggled with it. Fought with it. Fought myself.”
“It has more of you in it than the others,” Sway said, the lingering questions starting to fill in with answers.
“Maybe,” she whispered.
“So cool,” Zelda said, her voice awed. “You guys have this connection. It's like watching the tenth Doctor and Rose all over again.”
Sway grinned and broke eye contact with Ryan. “Nerd!”
“What?! It's true!”
“Okay,” Harrison announced, getting to his feet. “It's about time for the nerds of the world to retire to their Hobbit Holes for regeneration.”
Ryan covered her mouth with her hand as she laughed quietly.
Sway bit back an argument. He wasn't ready to say goodnight yet, but he'd already decided that he would leave when the others did. He didn't want to put Ryan in the same position as last night.
Well, he did, just not the way that made her uncomfortable.
Zelda protested loudly as Harrison guided her to the door, attempting to draw Ryan into some sort of geekified discussion as a delay tactic. It was working until Harrison indicated to Sway to help him separate the two. Sway slid an arm around Ryan's waist, gently holding her back from following Zelda out the door.
The goodnights were called even as the door closed behind Harrison and Zelda. Ryan turned in Sway's arms, her smile bright. “I like them.”
“You're not really into all that nerd stuff, are you?” Sway teased, moving his other arm to be around her and sliding his hands up her back.
“Probably not to the extent of Zelda, but I do get my geek on quite often.” Her body melted against his, her curves and softness pressing him into him. It was very appealing and probably thanks to the wine.
“Have breakfast with me again in the morning?” he asked, his fingers sifting into her hair.
“Of course.”
Sway lingered in her embrace. The wild in her eyes was strong, her lips probably tasted like wine. Being this near to her was intoxicating in all new ways. He could become addicted to her nearness.
“I'm gonna go,” he said at long last. His gaze soaking up every detail of her features in her relaxed state. Lips parted, eyes open, skin flushed.
“You're not staying tonight?” Ryan asked, and damn if she didn't sound disappointed.
His lips twitched and he lifted an eyebrow. “I want to. But I don't think it's a good idea.”
She swallowed and her eyes dropped to his chest. “Yeah, okay.”
He tucked a finger under her chin and brought her gaze back up to his. “Unless you suddenly don't care what people think.”
She licked her lips and his eyes flicked to them for a second. The debate was waging an intense war in her head and he knew it wasn't time yet. He could probably talk her into it, but she wasn't actually ready to let go entirely.
“That's okay, babe,” he said softly. “I can wait.”
He leaned closer and pressed his lips to her cheek. “Breakfast in the morning. Be ready early.”
He waited for her head nod before walking to the door and saying goodnight once more.
Tomorrow, just like every day, held the promise of all new everythings with them.
He was looking forward to it.
***
Zelda had gotten up early. Like, pre-crack of dawn early. She wanted to have all of her snacks and supplies ready to go before hitting the road and part of the supplies was an issue of Entertainment Weekly that had a huge Doctor Who article in it.
She wanted it.
She had to have it.
She was going hunting for it.
As she perused the third periodical shelf of that morning, something caught her eye. Reaching for the cheap print gossip press, she frowned as her stomach pitched.
It was Sway.
And Ryan.
Hugging at the show from the first night.
“This is not good,” Zelda muttered out loud as she hurried to the checkout, her original mission forgotten.
She looked at the front of the tabloid again to be sure she wasn't seeing things. The headline read: ROCKER DAD BACK TOGETHER WITH LONGTIME LOVE!
Why? What possessed these publications to print such broad and ambiguous announcements without seeking verification? Did they not realize that the pictures they were printing, were of real people with real lives?
Zelda couldn't drive fast enough. She sped into the parking lot and flew into the hotel. Just as Sway and Ryan were heading out the door.
“Hey!” Zelda said, stopping short and hiding the paper behind her back. “Where are you two off to this morning?”
Sway narrowed his eyes. “What's going on, nerd girl?”
“Nothing.” Zelda shrugged and shook her head, knowing she wasn't coming across the least bit convincing. “Nothing,” she said again with forced nonchalance. “You know, just nerd girl stuff.”
“What's behind your back?” Sway asked, tired of the game already.
Zelda changed tactics. “Terrible things. The news is... is... just the worst. I'm trying to protect you.”
That was mostly true.
Sway blinked slowly and waited.
Zelda wondered if she could outlast him. Maybe he'd be so hungry he'd forget and walk away. No, that was Harrison, not Sway. Sway would wait all day if it suited him.
She heaved out a sigh and handed the paper over.
Sway's eyebrows went up as he studied the front page. Ryan leaned over to look, and frowned in confusion.
“Well,” Sway said after a minute. “That's a lot of information.”
“That's us,” Ryan said. “Right?” She looked up at Sway. “Is that us?”
He put an arm around her shoulder and pressed his lips to the top of her head. “That's us.”
“I don't get it,” Ryan said, reaching for the paper, but Sway held it out of reach. Her frown turned severe.
“You don't want to read that,” he said seriously.
“Why not?”
“Because it's all speculation and gossip. If you have questions, you ask me.”
Zelda watched with wide eyes. She'd never seen this side of Sway before. Yeah, he had his serious moments. But this was a “take no bullshit” hardass with control of the situation. This was a Sway Zelda could get on board with.
“I have questions,” Ryan said, clearly not as happy with hardass Sway as Zelda was.
Sway grimaced and shoved the paper back at Zelda, who took it eagerly. “Get rid of that. Ryan and I are going to breakfast.”
<
br /> “You got it.” Zelda gave Ryan an apologetic smile as she hurried away. Hopefully Sway would be able to fix this. She liked Ryan.
But then again, Zelda had always liked Sway's girls.
But this girl was different. It was in the way she looked at Sway. The way she listened to him, like his words made all the difference. And the way he listened to her. How calm he was when she was around. It was a brand new side of her friend she hadn't met and she didn't want it to disappear.
***
“Why does it feel like you're hiding something?” Ryan asked as she cut into her waffles.
They'd made it to the diner, ordered their food, and had two whole cups of coffee without speaking. It was the longest time they had ever spent together with nothing to say.
Sway was not pleased with the turn of events.
But mostly he was pissed at himself for not seeing this coming.
“I'm not hiding anything. I just haven't told you everything,” he said, pushing his plate aside and focusing on her.
She didn't look happy with that answer.
Sway looked around the little diner and wondered if there were any photographers nearby. How many had been following them since that first night? Obviously they were just throwing knives in the dark, but still... He was the one they were aiming at.
“I was going to tell you, when I was sure you were...” he closed his eyes. Wow, this sucked. He really wanted to be able to control this on his own terms. “It's not like it's a secret. You could have Googled me at any time and found out. I suggested it several times.”
She didn't respond except to sit back in her chair and cross her arms. Sway leaned both elbows on the table.
Sway let the silence remain, deciding that he would let her be the next to speak. He wasn't sure what she wanted to know first, and he wanted to let her have the control in that area. She could guide this conversation.
Because he didn't know where to start.
She huffed out a breath. “I thought we were getting to know each other.”
“We are—”
“Then why does it feel so lopsided?” she asked, her eyes dark and her tone controlled.
“What do you mean?” he asked, not following.
“I mean, we've basically been talking to each other nonstop since we met and this is the first time I find out you're a dad? How many kids to you even have? Are you married? Divorced? In a relationship? These are the kind of things that are usually covered in the first couple of conversations. Am I wrong?”
Oh. She was mad.
“I have a seven year old son.”
Ryan's eyebrows went up and her mouth relaxed into a straight line.
“Just the one child. His name is Miles and...” Sway smiled as he thought about that goofy kid and happy voice on the other end of the phone. “And he's the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me.”
Ryan was quiet. She was thinking.
“Never been married. Not in a relationship with anyone...” He held her eyes meaningfully. “Officially.”
“And Miles'—uh, his mom?” she asked, her eyes dropping to the table top.
“His mom is a remarkable woman.” Sway stopped when Ryan's eyes came up quickly. “She's been married to a great guy for a while now.”
Ryan's hands shifted in her lap and she stared at her coffee cup. Sway had no idea what she was thinking.
He barely knew her.
That's when it really hit him—how much they didn't know each other. They were veritable strangers with a unique and fun attraction to one another. But they really hadn't shared anything big.
Having a connection was a different thing than actually knowing someone. Knowing came with time and building a history. Learning things like how the other reacts to surprises. What sets off a temper. What it takes to solve a disagreement. Those things took time to learn. Time they hadn't had yet.
“His mom's name is Alexa,” Sway began, speaking slowly. Ryan watched him, carefully guarded. He ran a hand through his hair. “She was a dancer who I once loved.”
“Just once?” she asked dryly.
His eyebrows dipped and he licked his lips. “For a season in my life I thought... I pictured her as being someone I would eventually settle down with. In the future.”
“What kind of dancer?”
“Not exotic if that's what you're afraid of,” Sway replied, more defensiveness in his tone than he intended.
Ryan narrowed her eyes. “I was just asking.”
Sway took a frustrated breath. This wasn't how he'd wanted any of this to happen. Though, he had never made a plan with how to deal with this. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I'm just used to being called a pig.”
“Are you?” she asked.
“Am I what?”
“Are you a pig?”
He didn't answer for a long time. Too long apparently because Ryan shrugged and spoke again.
“I've never called you a pig.”
“I know that.”
“Okay. So maybe don't include me in your assumptions of everyone else.”
Sway stiffened at her tone. “Are you mad at me?”
Ryan's jaw tightened and she looked away from him. A significant amount of tension existed between them. It had kind of come out of nowhere. But not nowhere, it had come from between the two of them. The hope they'd both been wrapped up in had acted as the mist that grew into distrust and suspicion.
He suspected she was judging him. Who knew where her suspicions had led her.
“I'm trying to explain things to you,” he said tightly.
Her eyes returned to his and they were flat. Almost disinterested in what he was about to say. “Then explain them.”
Sway shook his head. “I don't get it. Why are you mad? I'm being honest with you.”
“Were you ever planning on telling me you had a son?” she asked, her face briefly betraying her hurt. “Or was I just a temporary amusement? Someone to stroke your ego for a season?”
Oh. She thought he was playing her.
Sway softened his tone. “Ryan, look at me.” She did and he reached across the table for her hands. She reluctantly placed them in his, but her touch was light. That was okay, Sway decided, he could be enough of a connection for the two of them. “I'm not playing you. Having a kid isn't something you talk about right away with a girl you've just met.”
“I disagree,” she responded instantly. “If the girl you're talking to is important to you, then you tell her things about your life. And if he's so important, then why wouldn't you talk about him all the time?”
Sway took a deep breath. “Honestly? Ryan, I figured you already knew.”
“How would I know that?”
“You're smart. You know all kinds of things that I don't know. You're probably the smartest person I've ever met.”
“Don't use flattery on me,” she said softly. But something flashed in her eyes. An old hurt, a memory that she was fighting back. “The fact still remains that you never once mentioned him. Keeping your worlds in compartments. Home Sway and Road Sway.”
“Because—Ryan.” Sway closed his eyes, his patience being tried. “It's not the kind of thing you talk about casually. It's the kind of thing I was planning on bringing up when I was sure that the person I was talking to... cared that there is a child in my life.”
She licked her lips, her frown looking more bewildered than upset now.
“I just found out that I'm a dad. I'm still getting to know him and he's getting to know me. And,” he caught her eyes and gave her a hopeful smile, “I'm just getting to know you. I had figured that you two would meet when I was positive that you were, you know, my girl.”
Ryan's head jerked. “Sway, there's a huge difference in telling me you have a son and introducing me to him.”
Sway felt a smile spread across his face. “I'm sorry. This is very new for me. I really have no idea what I'm doing.” Her eyes narrowed and Sway chuckled. Some of the tension eased out of her, but she stil
l looked guarded. “What do you want to know? I'll tell you anything.”
“Anything?”
“Well,” he pulled her hands to the middle of the table before letting them go as he sat back. “It goes both ways. If you want total honesty from me, I get the same from you.”
“I don't have any kids,” she said right away.
“Good to know.”
She chewed on the inside of her bottom lip as she thought about it. Finally she asked, “What happened with Alexa?”
Sway folded his hands in his lap. “At the time, I was mostly a kid myself. She said she wanted to finish school and didn't want to be the forever girlfriend. So she broke up with me, and I was okay with it.”
“You were totally fine?”
“As fine as I could be. I was devastated in my own way. But I thought she was right. I always knew she was too good for me and she was the one who finally said it out loud.” He watched her process that and apply it to something on the inside. He lifted his chin. “What about you? Did you ever have a relationship that you thought might go the distance?”
Ryan swallowed hard. Here it was, the opportunity to open up to him, to show him that he wasn't just an experiment. To prove that she had something invested in this. Like he did.
“Yes. I was actually engaged to someone for a short time.”
“And boom goes the dynamite,” Sway said slowly. “What happened?”
“Oh, you know, the usual. He was amazing and charismatic and I fell in love in like a day. It went fast—we went fast. I had just finished moving into his apartment when he told me he had changed his mind.” She ended her sad little story with a shrug and looked at her fingers tapping on the table.
“He just changed his mind?” Sway pressed.
Ryan rolled her eyes and propped her chin in one hand. “His exact words were, 'I'm not attracted to you. Let's not do this. I'll give you the week to move out.'”
“You're making that up,” Sway said, feeling his stomach churn and his limbs begin to hum with the desire to... break something. Who says that to a girl? Ever?
“Okay, the longer story involves me gaining some weight after we started dating. I had a lot going on in my life and didn't handle the stress very well. So I got kind of fat.” Her face was a deep maroon and her eyes glossed over. “I did it to myself.” She shrugged again. And again, Sway wanted to break something.
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