Brand New Sky
Page 31
Sway's arms wrapped around her so tight, her muscles protested and her lungs compressed. Then her body began to shake with the silent sobs Sway released onto her. His face pressed into her hair and she could hear him sucking breath, as if his lungs required her proximity to inflate properly.
Hot tears poured out of her eyes and stained his shirt as she clung to his large frame. “I'm so sorry it took me so long to get here,” she whispered.
“I need you,” he choked out. “I don't how to think. Please, help me.”
“I will,” she promised, not knowing if it was a promise she could keep, but willing to make it again and again. “I'm not leaving.”
***
Alexa watched Sway break and pour his pain into Ryan. The blonde took it and held him, wrapping him in safety.
This is what she had wanted for Sway. Someone who loved him more than humanly possible. Someone who would love him like he deserved.
It had been shocking to have Miles bring his phone to her that morning and say who it was. She had been nervous. How would they be handling mixed family situations? It hadn't been discussed yet.
But after five minutes of Ryan begging her to go to Sway and be with him until she could get there, Alexa was practically in love with her. What kind of a woman sends in another woman to hold her place?
One who knows exactly where she stands in her man's heart and life, that's who.
Alexa rubbed Ryan's shoulder softly and she opened her eyes, giving her a thankful smile. Then Alexa followed Harrison out of the SICU, leaving Sway in the best hands possible.
***
Sway wasn't sure when or how Ryan had coaxed him into the waiting room. But she had. They laid down on a couch, she was tucked between the back of the sofa and his body. He faced his back to the room and shielded the two of them from prying eyes. And then he finally allowed himself to rest.
His thoughts slowly pieced themselves into working order. The chaos was still there, throwing certain things out of order. But he felt safe to think again, calm even. The second she had touched him, everything began to quiet down inside.
“Tell me you love me,” he said, his tired mind drifting toward quiet darkness.
“I love you,” she said immediately. “Forever and always. And I will always get to you. No power in the 'Verse can stop me.”
“Nerd.”
And Sway slept a dreamless sleep. Which made sense, because the only dream he'd ever had worth anything was in his arms.
***
Luke watched the bass player succumb to the fatigue that had been building all over him. His body was practically on top of Ryan's and his shoulders sank heavily as sleep took over.
Sway had never been one to ask for or need help. He was the comic relief. Quick with a joke and always the one to make himself look like a dick. He was so used to being disregarded as anyone of importance that he actually had no idea how important he was.
Luke couldn't help the amount of responsibility he felt for these guys, his brothers. The only family he'd ever really known. Someday, maybe he'd be able to show them what they meant to him, how they'd changed his life.
But for now, he would stand guard over his sleeping friend. Knowing that Sway's sleep was going to be perfect and deep, because he was finally at rest with the one woman in the world who could reach into his chest and calm his soul.
Luke understood that feeling all too well. And he was happy that his friend finally had that in his life.
It was about damn time.
Chapter 37
Burn Away
“I hate this hat.”
Ryan squeezed her eyes together before opening them. Her limbs protested in two ways when she tried to move. One, they were stiff and mostly asleep. Two, they were pinned between the couch and Sway.
Sway.
Her brain came hurtling back into focus as her eyes connected with his. They were still flat, still in pain, still confused. But not like before. Not hopeless.
He tried to smirk at her, but it, too, was flat. He tossed her red trucker hat off to the side, somewhere she couldn't see. It didn't matter, she hated it, too.
The band was still in the waiting room with them, but they'd been granted a small amount of privacy as someone had set up a divider of sorts, blocking their couch from the rest of the room and the lights above them had been turned off making it hard to tell how much time had passed. The quiet hum of conversation was enough for Ryan to pick out all the voices that she had seen upon her first entrance. No one had left. Because it was Sway. And he just wasn't the kind of guy you walk away from.
“Thank you,” he said, leaning close to her ear. His lips brushed her cheek and again, he tried to smile. But it didn't work.
She wanted to say a whole bunch of things. She wanted to tell him everything would be fine, that she would always be there no matter what, that they could face whatever was coming together. But it was too big of a feeling, and so she took a deep breath and let a tear slip out of the corner of her eye as she said, “You're my best friend.”
Ryan hoped he understood. He seemed to, because he stared at the tear for a long time, not saying anything.
Then he said all kinds of things. He adjusted his arms around her, holding her comfortably. And all the words came out. He talked about the accident, and his mom's chances of survival, his dad's unpredictable behavior, the words they had exchanged. Ryan didn't know how she was supposed to react, but the confusion in his eyes made more sense now.
Sway's gaze drifted over her shoulder. “My first car was a 1967 Lincoln Continental. Black, hard top, with suicide doors.” His fingers brushed her hair off of her forehead. “It had been my dad's. Pops gave it to me when I was 15. I loved that car. Took it all over, told girls I was older than I was just to see how far I could get. It felt like a connection to the man who looked like me, but wasn't anything like me at all.”
Ryan's eyes began to burn again and she swallowed it away as best she could.
“Hm,” Sway said, lost in his own memory. His eyes traced over her face like a caress—gentle, hesitant. “Then I see him at my mom's bedside and I realize there's one more thing about him that I got.” He pierced her with a look. “His inability to leave the side of his best friend.”
Ryan touched his face, her thumb grazing his lips. Wishing she could take this for him. Hating that he didn't know what was to come and that it had taken something like this to make him see his parents in a different light.
“Tell me how I can help,” she whispered.
“My beautiful angel,” he said, his voice rough. “You are. You have. Just being exactly who you are.”
His lips touched hers and her eyes fluttered closed. The gentle pressure of his mouth asked her if she loved him, and she responded with an affirmative. Slow, painfully slow, his lips were soft and full, his breath warm and unhurried. He pulled her bottom lip into his mouth, his tongue hesitantly tasting it, and then going back to lips.
He sighed and rested his head back down with his eyes closed. Ryan watched him sleep for a minute before she relaxed again as well.
When does a person become more than a person? When do they become your heart?
***
Sway sat up and stretched his neck from side to side, not surprised that it popped several times. Sleeping on sofas was never a great idea. His eyes opened and caught sight of Ryan shoving a doughnut into her mouth. But sleeping on a sofa wrapped around that beauty made everything worth it.
He looked about and saw his family gathered around him, minus Gran and Pops who'd gone home to get some sleep.
They'd been there all night and all the next day. Without really needing to be. He knew they didn't see it that way, for which he was thankful.
“I need to get home,” Alexa said sitting down beside him. “Miles has a play date and James needs to get to work. But you call me and I'll come right back.”
Sway tried to smile. “Thanks.” He looked over to Ryan who was trying to clean off the je
lly on her shirt that had squirted out of her doughnut. “I think I'm gonna be okay, though.”
“I think you will too,” Alexa agreed, following his gaze.
She stood, waving to the others as she exited.
“I think I'm going to hit the head, and then check on my dad,” Sway announced, standing up as well.
Ryan's eyes lifted at his movement. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, darlin'.” He smiled and it must've finally worked because her eyes brightened. “You helped my head reset itself. I think I'm good for a bit.”
The room quieted, people watching them. His people. Now, her people. It must be strange for them to see him with one woman. Not just with her, but undeniably with her.
“You know where to find me,” she said softly.
Yes, he did. Right in the spot in his chest where he kept other vital things.
Walking back to the SICU wasn't as foreboding as it had been the first time. He knew where to go and what to expect to see this time. Still, he paused in breath and stance when his dad's hunched over figure came into view at his mother's bedside.
A nurse was exiting her room and she recognized him from the day before.
“You can go in today for a while,” she said.
“How is she?” he asked.
The nurse looked over her shoulder and back to Sway. “She had a good night. Her lung is doing really well. But it's still too soon to say on the rest of it.”
Sway nodded, thanked her, and stepped into the room with his dad. He pulled a chair over and sat down, his dad sitting up and facing him.
“Did you hear? She had a good night.” Ethan's face was hopeful, though lined with exhaustion.
“I heard,” Sway said, keeping his voice low. “But... well, you know.”
Ethan's eyes dropped to the floor. “I know. Still, I have to hope.”
Sway nodded, knowing what he meant. “How are you doing today?”
“I'll be fine if she's fine,” he said.
“Did you get some sleep last night, dad?” Sway asked, thinking he probably didn't.
“Off and on,” Ethan said, looking over Sway once more. “You look better than you did last night.”
“Ryan got here and made me take a nap,” Sway said, his lips twitching at just the mention of her.
His dad watched him, his brow furrowed in contemplation. “The girl from your Gran's party?”
“Yeah.”
“She was pretty.”
“You could have said that earlier,” Sway pointed out quietly.
Ethan nodded slowly, considering his words. “We talked about her on the way home that night.”
Sway frowned. “Why?”
“Gracie liked her dress. And the way she smiled at you.”
It was like Sway had entered bizarro world. Why was everything so ass backwards? He was used to seeing his parents a certain way, used to their behavior and perpetual disappointment.
“You're right,” Ethan said. “We should have told you earlier.” He looked back to his wife. “We should have told you a lot of things.”
Sway wanted to hold his breath, it was an odd sensation. He couldn't and continued breathing normally. But the sensation remained. “Tell me things now.”
Ethan sighed. “What do you think, Gracie? Should I tell him how we accidentally fell in love?”
“What's that mean?”
Ethan smiled with the memory. “You already know about Chloe and the car accident. And you know that I surprised everyone by marrying her sister Grace. And we... well, we liked each other. We found solace in one another. But I didn't fall in love with her until Christmas Day, the year we were married. It happened by complete surprise. We were at the Channing Estate.” He looked to Sway. “You know the one—that big monstrosity in the country.
“And we had had dinner, and minded our manners, and had paid our respects to whichever political friends had been invited over for the week, played some requested pieces on the piano with your mom accompanying me on her violin. And she pulled me down a hall and into this hidden room. We split a bottle of wine and made fun of the entire day and laughed. And I kissed her.”
He smiled fondly at his wife.
“I kissed her for the first time as a man seeing her as a woman. The kind of woman I wanted to spend every waking moment with. But we had already lost so much that we were afraid that if anyone found out, it would get taken from us somehow. So we kept it a secret.”
Tears began to run down his face and he faced Sway again.
“Your mom is really funny. You should know that. She makes the most inappropriate jokes you've ever heard. And some of those words coming out of the same woman who can play “The Lark Ascending” on her violin with perfection in one sitting...?”
“How come I don't know any of this?” Sway asked barely controlling his voice, feeling anger and disbelief warring with his confusion.
“Her parents were never the same after Chloe died. They never healed. And we felt... guilty, I guess. For finding each other... for finding love despite the tragedy.
“And then there was you.”
“Me?”
“You made us feel more guilt that anything ever could. It was like we were granted this amazing gift, physical evidence of our love for one another, and we were never allowed to enjoy you because her parents were still so... sad. So we agreed to let you do what you wanted and we sent you to Gran and Pops as often as we could. We knew they'd cultivate that wild spirit in you.”
Ethan shook his head, his face very wet. “It was the wrong move. I see that now.”
“Why now? Because mom might die?” Sway asked harshly.
“No,” Ethan protested, tilting his head as he looked at his son. “Because of the way you're looking at me. Like you don't know me.”
“But I want to,” Sway confessed, his voice ragged.
“I think,” Ethan said, his face betraying the emotion in his heart. “I think we can start to make that happen. We always loved you, Sway. We were just very, very bad at showing it the way you needed.”
“I think I actually agree with you on something,” Sway said wryly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair.
“I think you'll find we agree on a great many things.” Ethan sighed and rubbed his thumb over the back of his wife's hand. “And you might not be ready to listen to advice from me, but I've got good stuff.”
“Oh yeah? Hit me with something brilliant,” Sway said, his smile starting to make a comeback.
“Well, for starters, don't waste time.” His voice cracked and he swallowed. “Because thirty years goes by faster than you think. And you'll never be ready to say goodbye.”
Sway sobered at the reality that his dad was facing. The potential of the rest of his life without his best friend. “I keep thinking in terms of forever.”
“Good,” Ethan approved. “Always think that way. It makes a huge difference when you're tempted to sleep on the couch because you had a fight that you're feeling too proud to solve.”
Something occurred to Sway. “You never slept on the couch.”
“Nope. We're at our best when we're together. I wasn't lying when I said I've never slept a night without her by my side for more than thirty years. We always arranged travel and conferences to be sure we always went together.”
“Wasn't that hard?”
Ethan leveled him with a look. “Last night, when Ryan wasn't here, was that hard?”
“Yeah, but—”
Ethan held up a hand. “I'm not saying it's the only way to be happy. I'm saying that's what we did. It's us. So find out what's you. And then always do everything in your power to keep it going.” Ethan's mouth pulled up on one side. “Even if she's so mad at you she doesn't want to see you.”
“I never saw you guys fight,” Sway said, his eyes burning again. He had no idea that knowing these things about his parents would mean so much. He was overwhelmed and grateful and a little disbelieving stil
l.
Tragedy made people say and do weird things. Part of him was scared that it would all go away before he was prepared. He liked this. Talking to his dad. Being able to ask questions and not be ignored. Though, thinking back on some of those moments, maybe his dad had been trying to tell him things in his own way. And he had been too stubborn and prideful to look at it from a different angle.
“Doesn't mean it didn't happen.” Ethan faced his wife. “Oh, Grace. I have loved every single second of my life with you. Even that trip to Montreal when we both got food poisoning. I don't want anyone else to ever see me in that kind of state. You're the only one I trust, you know. You're my best girl.”
Ethan's head came down on the bed again as his shoulders shook. Sway reached out his hand and rested it on him. Wishing he could be of more comfort. But if it were Ryan in that bed, Sway knew he'd be destroyed.
“Go,” Ethan said after a minute. “Go be with your friends. Get a shower and a decent meal. I'll have them call you if anything changes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Like I said, it's important to not waste time.”
Sway nodded and stood up. He could do that for his dad. Besides, a shower sounded great and Ryan had never seen his apartment in the city. Maybe they could get a quick nap that didn't involve waking up with a crick in the neck.
***
Ryan was coming back from the cafeteria. She'd gone down to see if they had anything that wasn't made out of pure sugar. Harrison had pouted.
The cafeteria had some salads, but they only took cash at the moment, and all she had was her card. So she was going to see if anyone downstairs had any cash or if they knew where a machine was.
The elevator doors were almost closed when a hand shot out and opened them again. Ryan was shocked to see Liam step into the lift.
“What are you doing here?” she snapped, too tired for good manners. Why did this guy always manage to show up in her life when she really didn't want to see him.
“Blythe told Cathy you were up here because your boyfriend's parents were in an accident. I wanted to see you.” Liam pushed the door close button and the floor above where she was going.