by K. L. Kreig
He looks at me then and the fierceness in his hazels makes me choke on my laugh. “It’s true. I may have covered my nerves with bravado, but it made my stomach clench every time I thought about approaching you. I was utterly smitten from the first time my eyes landed on you, Nora. I knew you belonged to me, but I couldn’t understand how or why I felt that way.”
“Oh,” I whisper softly.
“You were walking down the hall between classes and I could tell you were late and flustered. Mary Hartfield, that jealous cow, stuck her foot in your way, tripping you. Your books and papers went flying, but you managed to catch yourself pretty cleanly on your hands. I thought to myself, this is divine intervention. Now, I’ll have a reason to talk to this bewitching creature without sounding like I’m coming on to her. I was almost to you, but Ronnie Pulman beat me to it, that bastard.”
A slight smile tilts my mouth. I remember the incident, and I remember thinking that the fact my face nearly made BFFs with the hard linoleum floor was no accident.
Connelly wraps me in his embrace once again before continuing. “I stood not ten feet away and watched you gift him with the most magnificent smile I’d ever seen. I had never been jealous over a girl before, Nora. I knew if I had these unfamiliar feelings of wanting Pulman’s blood on my hands for just pulling a simple smile from you that I was doomed. And I didn’t give a shit, either. That’s when I felt it. You handled yourself with such grace and poise and confidence and I instantly, instinctively knew I wanted those traits in the woman I would marry, even though I’d never given that a single thought before.”
My eyes promptly water. “Connelly…”
He runs his hands gently from the crown of my head down before stopping at my cheeks. My icy hair is pressed against my ears and face.
“You were my first, Nora. In everything. My first love, my first lover, my first heartbreak.”
“Your first lover?” I ask, my brows pinching together.
“Yes,” he replies adamantly. “I should have told you back then, but I was kind of embarrassed. I wanted it to be perfect.”
“It was,” I murmur, overjoyed about the fact that I was his first just as he was mine.
“I agree.” His voice is just as soft.
“I think more important than being first, though, is being last.”
A few tears slide from the corners of my eyes while I maintain my silence, hanging on every one of his breaths.
“You were also my last love, my last heartbreak, the last woman I let into my life in any meaningful way. We’ve had so many good memories right here on this dock, Nora.” He looks around us, eyes lingering on his childhood house in the distance before engaging me again. “I want to add another one.”
Taking my shaky, numb hands in his steady ones, he steps back and swings our joined limbs slightly, making me laugh.
“Do you know why a man prostrates himself to ask the woman he loves to marry him, princess?”
My throat closes—it’s so constricted I can’t speak, so I just shake my head. The wind has picked up and is whipping my loose hair around. The white flakes in the strong gust melt on my exposed skin when they land. I no longer feel them.
“It’s because she has all the power. It’s symbolic, I think, to look up at the woman who owns everything he is. His heart, his thoughts, his happiness, his future. The other half of his soul.”
I bite my lip, hard, trying to hold my shit together when he bends, placing one knee on the weathered boards beneath our feet.
“You are the life I want, Nora. You are my life. Period. I want to go to sleep every night and wake up every morning with you in my arms. I want to kiss your neck when you get ready for work and hear you moan in pleasure. I want to hear you yell at me to put the toilet seat down. I want to sit on the patio and watch our kids play and fight in the backyard. I want to make a million new memories with you so that when we’re eighty and sitting on the patio watching our grandchildren play and fight in the same yard as our children, we can reminisce on the fifty amazing years we’ve had together with goofy smiles on our faces.”
I think I shed a new tear for each romantic and heartfelt word he pours out.
“I want to be your husband, Nora. God, I want that more than anything. You own me completely and thoroughly until the day I die, but I can only be complete when I’m yours. I love you so much. Marry me, princess.” Choked full of emotion his eyes glisten in the cold winter air. He’s one step away from breaking down, just like me.
Connelly stuffs his hand in his pocket. My watery gaze drops when he pulls out a very stunning and very large step-cut ruby, platinum, art deco engagement ring. I immediately recognize the repurposed jewel in the filigree castle setting, now surrounded by dozens of tiny round diamonds.
It was my mother’s.
She wore it on her right hand for as long as I could remember. I coveted that ring. I studied it endlessly as a child, each unique facet. And whenever I would ask where she got it, she would only tell me it came from someone special.
She’d willed it to Carl when she passed away.
Click. Another piece of my life soundly falls into place.
The cold dissipates, leaving me warm and fuzzy. Falling to my knees on the hard wood, I pull his lips to mine, whispering, “Yes, yes, yes.”
“Babe,” he mutters between ravenous kisses, “let me put this on you before I drop it between the slats and the lake sucks it up.” He takes my left hand, sliding the cold metal onto my ring finger. Where it will forever stay.
“I wanted to give you something as unique and spirited as you are, but I also wanted it to mean something. I hope you don’t mind…”
“I don’t. It’s perfect, Connelly. Thank you for doing this for me.”
His smile is sheepish. “It was partly Carl’s idea. When I asked him if he had anything I could use, he selflessly offered this up and being the bastard that I am, I took it.”
“I think I was always meant to have this. Just not until my mom felt it was right.” I wince, the hard surface biting into my kneecaps.
“Come on.” Connelly helps me up. He sneaks a hand underneath my coat, placing it on my stomach. “I want you swollen with my baby,” he says, his voice husky.
“You do, huh?” An involuntary shiver racks me. Connelly holds me closer.
“I mean it, Nora,” he whispers in my ear. “I want to marry you tomorrow and I want babies the next day.”
I want more kids just as badly, if not more, than Connelly. But I want that to be a decision we make together. When the time is right for us.
My head falls to his shoulder. “I don’t think it quite works that fast.”
“I can make all kinds of magic happen, baby.” I feel his smile against my temple when he kisses me.
“I thought you weren’t a sorcerer?”
“Have a few tricks up my sleeve,” he jokes.
“Has Hazel been working on you?”
He tugs my hair until our eyes meet. A soft smile spreads his full pink lips, which lower to meet mine. God, I’d give anything to have him naked and taking me fast and rough right now.
“And if she has?” he breathes against my mouth.
“Who knew such a strong man could bend like hot iron with a single flick of an eyelash?”
“Like mother, like daughter.”
“Touché.”
Dipping low, he presses his lips reverently to mine. He craddles my face and takes control, tilting me so our mouths slant perfectly together. Sweeping his tongue inside, he slowly makes love to my mouth the way I hope he’ll be doing to me later in the guest house.
“God, I love you, Nora,” he murmurs against my cheek, “so damn much.”
This right here is what I’ve wanted since the moment I laid eyes on Connelly Colloway when I was seventeen. To belong to him. To be his wife. To live our days and nights together: loving, fighting, being. Even after the past few weeks of blissful happiness, I still wake up some days wondering if I’ve dropped
into a dream. It takes all of two seconds to realize I’m not when I feel Connelly’s strong, powerful arms surround me, holding tight like I’ll vanish any second. I think he feels the same way I do: he may wake up and I’ll be his dream. But I’m not. He’s not. We’re not. This is as real as it gets. I’m so euphoric my chest feels like it may crack from the fullness most days.
“I love you so much I can hardly breathe sometimes.”
It’s not until now that I realize snow’s starting to fall hard. The large flakes have gathered in his black hair and on the shoulders of his navy peacoat. He looks divine. “It’s you and me now. You, me, Hazel, and all the siblings we can give her.” Dropping his voice to a sultry timber, he declares, “I plan on starting tonight, I want you to know. I’m going to fuck you until it’s physically impossible for me to continue.”
That familiar tingle between my legs starts burning. “Promise?” I tease, knowing full well we can’t make a baby yet. And so does he.
“Oh hell yeah,” he promises darkly. “If it wasn’t so cold, I think I’d bend you over and fuck you right here.”
I wrap my hand around the thickening bulge in his pants and gaze up at him with what I know is mischief in my eyes. “I think I’d let you.”
“Nora,” he rumbles, fingers covering mine, squeezing hard. “Do not tempt me.” I giggle right before a blast of frigid air hits me. “Come on. Let’s get back. You’re shivering.”
With one more fast kiss and grins plastered on our faces, we hurry back to the house the same way we came, hands locked. The temperature has dropped about five degrees, the wind is gusty, and a thin white glaze now blankets the ground.
The moment we set foot in the kitchen, nine sets of eyes stop what they’re doing and turn our way. Even the twins quiet down. The only set I’m glued to, however, is our daughter’s. They’re bright with anxious anticipation, darting back and forth between her dad and me.
She knew.
Connelly confirms it when he smirks and shrugs his shoulders. “You don’t think I’d ask you to marry me without our daughter’s okay, do you?”
“You said yes?” her little voice squeaks as she bounces up and down.
Before answering, I look around the room, realizing two things.
Everyone knew what that little walk was about, and I feel like the luckiest woman on earth to be able to share this special moment with a family that loves my daughter and me unconditionally. And now they’re our family. Our family.
Standing side by side with my soul mate, I marvel at the obstacles we’ve overcome. We’ve both made mistakes. We’ve both been wronged. We’re both imperfect but perfectly perfect for each other.
That’s the thing about a soul mate, though. They know you. All of you. The good, the bad, the dark and ugly scarred parts of you, yet they love the entire package regardless. And with my entire family surrounding us, I couldn’t feel more loved or accepted for all of my perfect imperfections.
A grin overtakes me as I look into my daughter’s angelic face. “I said yes.”
The entire kitchen erupts in chaos.
“About fucking time,” I hear Luke say over the melee right before Barb yells at him for swearing in front of little ears, to which he just laughs.
Then we’re encased in arms and congratulations and tears. When Connelly reaches for me, I slide easily into his hold.
I love this family. I love their boundless love. I love their unwavering loyalty. I love their dedication, commitment, and support of each other. I love that Hazel and I are now part of their crazy, flawed, tight little unit.
Most of all, I’ll love this man next to me with every part of my being until I take my last breath.
It may be over eleven years in the making, but I’d say that Connelly and I have more than earned the overflowing joy that’s spilling out of this room.
Just goes to prove: Never say never.
Epilogue
Eighteen months later…
Conn
“I don’t understand how I’m being punished for your dream, fireball,” Luke’s loud, gruff voice booms.
“Because…because you just are,” Addy responds tightly. Luke has her locked in his arms but she’s trying to squirm away. She squeals and I presume he’s found a ticklish spot. Addy Colloway is like a rabid animal sometimes. Wild and unpredictable. And I thought Nora had a quick temper. She’s got nothing on Luke’s wife and he’s even subdued her somewhat. I can only imagine what their bedroom is like when he’s taming her.
“What’s that all about, princess?” I ask my lovely wife, nodding toward Addy and Luke. She’s sitting next to me, unhappily I might add. I made her get off her feet and rest like she’s supposed to. I almost put the kibosh on this Memorial Day party, the first one in our new Lake Forest home, but Nora insisted. Her insistence came complete with real tears, so I was forced into this little barbecue or would have been forced to live with the consequences.
I’m a smart man.
“Addy had a dream that Luke had an affair with Halle Berry, so she’s refused to let him watch any movies with her in it.”
“Uh oh.” I chuckle. “The X-Men series is one of his faves.”
“Exactly,” she smirks.
“I think she’s overreacting a bit, don’t you? I mean, Luke can control a lot of things about Addy, but her dreams aren’t one of them.” I turn my gaze, meeting Nora’s. She’s scowling. “Or maybe not.” That puts a smile on her gorgeous face. I grab her hand and bring it to my lips, brushing them across her knuckles.
One thing I quickly learned about the women in this family…they’re stuck together like superglue, even Hazel. You don’t cross. You don’t question. You don’t argue. You just agree. Life is easier that way. Everyone has learned this little trick except Luke. He still pushes Addy constantly, but then again that’s their thing.
Hazel pops out the front door, face stuck in her new cell phone. She’s been begging for one for six months and I finally caved. Imagine that.
“Ladybird, you cleaned your room, right?”
“Yep,” she answers, not looking away from the screen for an instant as she bounds down the wooden porch steps.
“Hazel.”
She stops midstep and turns back. “Yeah,” she responds guiltily.
“Your room?”
“Yes, Daddy. My room is clean.”
Eye twitch. Shuffle step. She’s getting better, but she’ll never best me. I arch a knowing brow.
“Fine.” She stomps back up the stairs. I hold out my hand as she passes by. Her phone drops in my palm. Her mother and I laugh and her little feet pound louder.
“And be quiet. The baby’s sleeping!” I yell behind her, tucking the mind-sucking contraption in my back pocket.
“She’s doomed. She knows she’ll never get away with anything with you as her father.”
“Well, at least I have that going for me,” I mumble.
Our daughter has hit the age of twelve and apparently something happens overnight when girls turn twelve. Before, you couldn’t go anywhere without them attached to your hip; now you’re the bane of their precious existence. You were once the smartest human being on earth, and now you suddenly have nothing but air between your ears. You used to be the light of their lives, but now you’re darkness they have to suffer through.
Nora assures me it will eventually pass. In five years or so.
My mother assures me we all pulled the same shit to some degree, but it was around the age of fourteen instead. Being a parent of a preteen is damn hard work.
“You feeling okay?” I ask.
“I’m fine, Connelly. Jesus, stop smothering me.”
I’m not sure who I feel more sorry for at the moment: Nora or myself. Her hormones are raging. One minute she’s like sunshine. Bright. Happy. Warm. The next, she’s turned into Medusa. I’m sure I see snakes swirling in her hair and I have to work hard to dodge their poisonous strikes. I’m stuck with two unpredictable women. My forecast of penance has f
inally come true.
But today’s a good day. A happy day. A day of family celebration. Everyone I love is here. My whole life under one roof, including Nora’s father and my mom and her “boyfriend.” And because it’s a good day, I’m not going to let chemicals win this fight.
Picking up a protesting Nora, I settle her on my lap until her fight leaves. I gently grab her chin between my thumb and forefinger and lift her face to me.
“Better get used to it, princess. I will spend the rest of my life smothering you. Worrying about you to exhaustion. Loving you to annoyance.” I move my hand to her swollen belly, six and a half months ripe with our baby girl.
Yep…penance.
She places her hand on top of mine, hooking our fingers together. “Everything is fine, Connelly. I swear. You’re being overprotective.”
“No cramps?”
“Nope.”
“No spotting?”
“None for weeks. Want evidence?”
“Maybe.” My chest stings where she swats me good. Little does she know I’m not playing. “I’m not going to apologize, sweetheart. Our baby girl has to bake a while longer.”
“I know,” she agrees quietly.
Nora and I got married in a small, private ceremony just weeks after we were engaged, with just our family in attendance. Neither of us wanted to wait or plan an unnecessarily elaborate wedding and the only people we wanted as witnesses were those who meant the most to us. Then we started the lengthy process of having my name added to Hazel’s birth certificate as her biological father—a painstaking procedure but well worth the effort in the end.
During this entire time, we embarked on building our new home and arguing about when we were going to have more kids. Nora hedged. She was nervous. She’d had a bad pregnancy and bad delivery with Hazel. She was worried she’d have a repeat. When we finally decided six months into our marriage to give it a go, little did we know that we’d have such difficulty getting my swimmers past the goal line. Turned out Nora had developed some endometriosis, so we went the medical intervention route. At last, after almost six months of shots and visits and procedures…success.