Vardaesia

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Vardaesia Page 27

by Lynette Noni


  There was a long silence that fell around the clearing before Zaylin quietly spoke, repeating Saefii’s earlier words. “Love is sacrifice, Alex. Sacrifice always demands a cost.” Continuing just as quietly, she said, “You don’t have a choice here.”

  Tears welled in Alex’s eyes, blurring her vision.

  Seeing Alex waver, Zaylin’s throat bobbed, but she held her gaze and whispered, “Pick up the dagger, Alex.”

  This time, Alex did as she was told.

  “Now walk towards me,” Zaylin continued whispering.

  Once again, Alex followed her order. Step, step, step, step, each movement bringing her closer to the Tia Auran. Closer to the act that would break her in a way that could never be unbroken, leaving her scarred forevermore.

  “Alex—” Jordan started, but he didn’t finish. Or if he did, Alex didn’t hear. She couldn’t hear anything over the warring of her own mind, over the horror of what she was about to do.

  “Good,” Zaylin whispered when Alex was right in front of her. In a wobbling voice, she instructed, “Now raise the blade to my chest.”

  As if undergoing an out-of-body experience, Alex moved her shaking hand upwards, her thoughts screaming. She’d felt like this only once before, when Aven had Claimed her and ordered D.C.’s death. But she wasn’t Claimed this time. This time, her decisions were her own.

  “One quick stroke,” Zaylin continued instructing. The pupils in her silver eyes were dilated with fear, her breathing shallow, her body stiff with tension. Yet she wasn’t struggling. Instead, she was helping to expedite her death. “It’ll be over before—” Her voice cracked. “Do it quickly, and it’ll be over before you know it.”

  Tears leaked down Alex’s face, her lips trembling. “I—”

  “Just do it, Alex!”

  So Alex did.

  In one swift movement, she sliced the dagger forward and upwards.

  But she didn’t use it to pierce Zaylin’s flesh.

  Instead, she cut straight through the vined bindings, releasing the Tia Auran from her entrapment.

  No longer held against her will, Zaylin still didn’t move. She just stared at Alex in shock.

  “You told me I didn’t have a choice, but you were wrong,” Alex whispered, unable to see anything through her watery eyes. She wiped a hand across her face, but more tears just fell in their place. “Raelia is called The Crossroads for a reason— it’s a place of choices.”

  A shuddering breath left her as she recalled Roka’s words from what felt like forever ago: ‘Life is full of crossroads, Alex. Full of choices. There are many paths we can take. It’s up to us to decide which ones lead in the right direction.’

  “I made the only choice I could live with,” Alex whispered, holding Zaylin’s incredulous gaze. “Even if it means it’s the choice I’ll have to die with, too.”

  And with her statement, she dropped the dagger, the tip of the blade spearing into the soft earth underfoot with resounding finality.

  “One life, Alex,” Zaylin croaked out. “One single life and you’ll save your entire world.”

  “You’re right,” Alex said, just as croakily. “But that one life will be Aven’s, not yours—and not theirs.” She pointed to her silently watching friends. “And even then, Aven won’t die by my hand. Because the surest way to become a monster is to follow in their footsteps.” She drew in a painful breath and finished, “Death leads to death. But as for me, I choose life. And I’m sticking with my decision, no matter the consequences.”

  Stepping back, Alex wiped her face one last time and, after seeing the looks of support her friends sent her, their pride in her actions rather than their fear of what the future might bring, she raised her voice and called, “We’re done here. Stop.”

  With the official word of surrender, Raelia instantly began to dissolve around them until they were no longer in the mushroom-circled clearing, but instead back on the dais in the stadium, all of them except for Zaylin who had vanished with the wildflower scenery.

  No longer bound by branches, Kaiden strode purposely over to stand by Alex’s side. He took her left hand in his, his thumb lightly stroking once over the line of her thin Claiming scars. Bear followed quickly in his footsteps, reaching for her right hand. Jordan, D.C. and Declan all moved closer as well, until the six of them were standing hand in hand to face their coming judgement. Even if they all knew what it would be.

  The audience remained silent as they looked down upon the dais with solemn faces. Some appeared relieved, others disappointed—a clear line between those who were willing to come to Medora’s aid and those who were not.

  Finally, Saefii stood. And when she spoke, her words, while unwanted, weren’t unexpected.

  “You have displayed great strength and courage over the course of this week, as well as shared secrets, shown wisdom and endured judgement,” the empress declared. “But unfortunately, that was not enough. You needed to pass all six Gates in order for my people to join yours in the battle for your world. And today, you were unsuccessful in completing your final test.”

  Her voice echoed around the stadium as she continued, “I’m sorry, mortals, but this means you have failed Tu’eh Saeron ess Telari. And as such, Tia Auras will not be venturing with you back to Medora.”

  If not for both Kaiden and Bear’s strong grips keeping her from falling, Alex would have collapsed from the devastation of Saefii’s announcement.

  “Please do not believe we are unsympathetic to your plight,” the empress went on. “Despite our lack of allegiance, we truly do wish your people well.”

  Alex didn’t want to hear well wishes. Flowery words weren’t going to help with anything.

  “To show our respect for what you have achieved, a feast will be held in your honour tonight, after which, you may return to your world.”

  Alex’s fingers tightened around the hands she held. They wanted to hold a feast?

  Sensing that she was about to lose it, Kaiden called out, “If you don’t mind, Empress, we’ve been away from home long enough. We’re anxious to return as soon as possible.”

  His tone was polite, but the intent behind it was clear: There’s nothing here for us any longer. Let us go lick our wounds in peace.

  “Be that as it may, we wish to send you off properly,” Saefii said, a clear indication that their dinner attendance was not a request. “It has been a long time since mortals have stepped into our world, just as it will likely be so again.”

  “We’re not some novelty for your enjoyment,” Jordan called, his voice shaking with anger—and with the crushing feeling of defeat that was hollowing out Alex’s insides.

  “Novelty or not, you cannot travel the eiden paths from our world to yours through Soraya de lah Torra without a gatekeeper,” Saefii responded. “Therefore, once our evening has ended, a doorway shall be opened for you. In the meantime, the remainder of the day shall afford you a final chance to enjoy the splendour of our fair city. I suggest you don’t waste your time, mortals, as you will likely never return.”

  The cutting edge to her words along with the implication regarding their fate was enough to cause something inside Alex to snap. She released Kaiden and Bear and moved a furious step forward, but before she could so much as open her mouth, a blinding flash surrounded them. Instantly, she and her friends were back in their common room.

  Disoriented for only a second, Alex cast her gaze down and noticed that she still wore the golden cuffs, Tayros never having retrieved them once the Gate was finished.

  In a fit of despair and frustration, Alex violently yanked them from her wrists and launched them across the room. She ran her hands through her hair, tugging painfully at the roots. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She didn’t know if she was more furious or devastated; if she was more upset with herself or with the consequences of the choice she’d made.

  Unable to meet her friends’ eyes, she choked out, “I’m sorry.” Her breath hitched but she got a handle on it enough to
continue. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t—I just couldn’t—”

  A snort interrupted her, the sound so out of place amongst her ravaged emotions that it prompted her to look up in surprise.

  “If you think any of us are angry that you chose not to kill anyone today, you’re crazier than your usual crazy,” Jordan said, his tone dry.

  “But I—”

  “—did the right thing,” Kaiden cut in firmly, walking over to pull her into his arms. “You did exactly as you should have done.”

  She collapsed into his embrace, leaning heavily against him.

  “That Gate was a joke from the beginning,” Bear said, closing ranks along with the others. Alex drew away from Kaiden enough to see that Bear’s face was pale—all of their faces were—but still, he continued, “You did the only thing you could. You made the same choice that hopefully any of us would have made if we’d been stuck in your position.” He speared a narrowed glance at Declan before saying, “Most of us, at least.”

  Declan raised his hands. “Hey, I’m sorry, okay? I was only trying to help.”

  “Help differently, next time,” Bear said sharply, with Kaiden nodding firmly in agreement. But then Bear sighed and pulled Declan into a rough hug, full of relief. That prompted more hugs around the group—though, D.C. did punch Declan in the stomach before she wrapped her arms around him, telling him to never do anything like that again. For Alex’s part, she just held his eyes and said, “What Dix said,” to which Declan grinned sheepishly and nodded his promise.

  “That was an impossible task,” Jordan said once their relieved embraces abated. “There was no way to come out victorious.”

  “‘The surest way to become a monster is to follow in their footsteps’,” D.C. quoted Alex. “If you’d passed the test today, you would have become the very monster that we’re trying to fight.” She drew Alex close and whispered into her ear, “We’ll find another way. We always do.”

  Shuddering, Alex returned the hug, more grateful for her friends’ support and understanding than she could ever say.

  Moving back to Kaiden’s side with his arm curling reassuringly around her, Alex looked at her friends and mustered the strength to say, “We all know this is a massive blow, but as Dix said, we’ll just have to find another way.”

  “If that Gate was any indication as to the kind of rules the Tia Aurans play by, then I say we’re better off without them,” Bear said.

  He had a valid point. But still, Alex’s heart hurt with disappointment for all the time they’d wasted in Vardaesia, for all they’d suffered through—all for nothing.

  “Let’s just get this stupid feast over with so we can finally go home,” Jordan said, holding D.C. close. “We’ll figure out the rest from there. But whatever we do, we’ll do it together.”

  With nods all around, they descended into silence, at least until Jordan spoke again, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

  “Who wants to go cause some mayhem in the city while we still can?”

  “Saefii did give us permission to do whatever we wanted until the feast,” Bear said contemplatively.

  Declan crossed his arms, a smile playing at his lips. “I might have an idea or two for how we can leave our mortal mark on this world.”

  Alex wondered if perhaps no race, immortal or otherwise, deserved the vengeful attention of Jordan, Bear and Declan combined. But at the same time, she wasn’t about to stop them from having one last hurrah out in the city. Even if she had other plans herself.

  “You guys go ahead,” she said. “There’s someone I need to say goodbye to.”

  “Xira’s not coming back with us?” D.C. asked, her face falling as she realised how upsetting that would be for Alex.

  Truthfully, Alex didn’t know the answer. And while seeing Xira was certainly at the top of her checklist for the rest of the day, it wasn’t him who she had been referring to.

  Still, she answered, if vaguely, “That’s something I still need to find out.”

  Shifting Alex until they were facing each other, Kaiden carefully read her expression, aware that she was being deliberately reticent. With his freakish ability to know her better than she sometimes knew herself, whatever he saw caused his eyes to widen before they softened with understanding. “Want some company?”

  She smiled lightly with appreciation but said, “I think it’s best if I do this alone.”

  He nodded slowly, then leaned in to touch his lips gently to hers, whispering there low enough that only she could hear, “Tell him ‘thanks’, and ‘sorry’. He’ll know what that means.”

  Intrigued, Alex looked at Kaiden in question. But when he only smiled secretively at her, she rolled her eyes and leaned up for another kiss, before she moved from his arms and told the group that she’d be back in time for the feast.

  Then, at her mental summons, a Library doorway appeared, and she stepped through it—straight back to the stadium and to the one final Gate that she needed to visit before returning home.

  Twenty-Six

  Standing on the dais, Alex was alone in the stadium, the silence eerie yet fitting.

  Looking between the three fiery arches still resting in the clouded gap, she knew which one was the Gate of Love, but as for the other two, there was no way to tell them apart.

  Since cheating didn’t matter anymore, Alex hoped the sentient Library might be willing to cross a few lines on her behalf; hoped it was even capable of doing so.

  “Any chance of a little clarity here?” she asked softly, barely breathing as she waited to see if her request would be answered.

  Of the two Gates, one she wanted, and the other she wanted to avoid. But if she had to, she would travel through hell— perhaps literally, depending on her choice of Gate—to get to the one she wanted.

  If at all possible, however, avoiding the Gate of Chaos was a priority.

  Fortunately, the Library came through for her, and fiery words flared into being, this time along the top of the Gates.

  Cora Tenn—that was the one Alex was after.

  The Gate of Lost Souls.

  Not allowing her doubts to manifest and keep her frozen on the dais, Alex offered a quick word of thanks to the Library and took a running jump through the arch, tumbling out the other side only to land atop the Golden Cliffs overlooking Meya.

  “Hardly surprising,” Alex mumbled at the view, her pulse kicking up speed. But then it stuttered to a halt when she heard a familiar voice from behind her.

  “I thought you’d never get here.”

  Whirling around, tears immediately flooded her vision at the sight of Niyx standing there, as healthy and perfect as she’d ever seen him.

  His dark hair was glossy, his brilliant amethyst eyes were bright with vitality, and the sharp lines of his tanned face softened as he looked at her and quietly, oh so quietly, said, “Hey, kitten.”

  A sob tore from her mouth at the nickname she never thought she’d hear from his lips again. She couldn’t stop her reaction to it, couldn’t keep from bounding forward and flying at him with immortal speed. At the very last moment she had a fraction of a second to wonder whether or not he was really there, whether she was going to soar straight through him… But before she could slow her speed, she was already throwing herself into his arms—arms that caught her and held her tight.

  Feeling his warm, strong, whole body embracing her, Alex could do nothing but shove her face into his chest as she burst into tears.

  “Shhh,” he said, rubbing a soothing hand up and down her back. “It’s okay.”

  “It-It-It’s not o-o-kay,” Alex sobbed into the black material of his shirt. “You-You’re de-dead.”

  A pause met her statement, until—

  “Your bedside manner needs work, kitten. Talk about kicking a man when he’s down.”

  As unfathomable as it was, a painful, startled laugh broke through her hysterical tears, the reaction enough to help her regain some composure.

  As her sobs downgraded to hiccups
and her body stopped buckling with grief, she managed to pull back and look at him, marvelling that he was really standing before her. She had hoped—she had so, so hoped—that the Gate would lead her to him, but now that she was here, she didn’t know what to do or say next.

  Fortunately, he’d never had any problems communicating his thoughts.

  Peering at her face, Niyx wrinkled his nose and stated, “You are one disgusting mess right now.”

  Another laugh left her, this one not feeling quite so painful, and she smacked his shoulder with her hand, amazed anew to find him tangibly solid at her touch.

  Wiping her face, Alex admitted, “I’ve cried more in the last week than I have in my entire life.”

  “I know,” Niyx said with a white flash of teeth. “It’s been like watching one of those Freyan soap operas you once told me about. Pure drama.”

  Alex was amazed that he remembered such a tiny detail when she couldn’t recall the conversation herself, but there was something more incredible about what he’d said.

  “You’ve been watching me?”

  He pulled a face. “Way to make it sound creepy.”

  “But—But how?” she asked, shocked. “Are you… are you… real?”

  Niyx shrugged. “What is real, really, if not but a matter of perception?”

  Squinting at him, Alex said, “You never used to be this philosophical.”

  “Maybe I’m not now. Maybe it’s you who is.”

  Sadness filled her along with understanding. “So you’re just in my head, then.”

  It wasn’t phrased as a question, yet Niyx still responded.

  Using a finger to tilt her chin up, his eyes caught hers as he quietly said, “What was the last thing I told you?”

  Alex didn’t need to think about the answer; she heard the words echo throughout her mind every day—his avid declaration that he’d always be with her.

  Hardly daring to believe it, she whispered, “So you are real? You’re really here?”

 

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