by Claire Adams
“So, you didn’t enjoy yourself last night then?” I asked as I put my arms around Kendall’s waist.
“As Simon Cowell would say, ‘It wasn’t good,’” she replied with her poker face. “It was fantastic.”
“The fair maiden doth jest,” I replied as I grabbed a piece of toast.
“Cut the Shakespeare. Next, you will be spouting Romeo and Juliet,” Kendall said in a fit of laughter.
“Enough said, no more talk of literary greats, or indeed Simon Cowell,” I replied as I sipped on my coffee.
“So, how are you gonna play it with your mother?” Kendall asked as she leaned toward me on the table.
“To be honest, I can just respond to her. She has all the information, so I have nothing to say really. I hope what she tells me is true,” I replied.
“Hum, a good point, I never thought of that, but she would be a horrible person if she didn’t,” Kendall answered.
“That would be a woman who was full of resentment, that’s for sure,” I said as I wiped my mouth on a napkin.
“Well, I should be getting ready, I promised I would go over to Mandy’s house today, I have not seen her for a few days,” Kendall said as she stood and headed back to the stairs.
I heard the shower running, and after a while, Kendall came back downstairs in a pair of my jogging pants and a sweatshirt.
“Is it okay if I borrow these, I don’t want to wear those stinky things from yesterday. Oh, and I borrowed a pair of your shorts,” she said as she lowered the jogging pants to flash my shorts at me.
“No problem, as long as you have left a pair for me,” I replied with a smile for my girl.
“Have you seen how many pairs you have? There are hundreds,” she replied as she walked toward the kitchen door and called Bo.
“So, you are off then and leaving me all alone,” I said in a false upset tone.
“You’ll be fine. A big grown-up man like you,” she said as she tugged on my robe collar and gave me a kiss. “Good luck anyway. I’ll speak to you later.”
I stood in the doorway and watched as she headed down the driveway. Once she had gone out of view, I headed upstairs and readied myself.
I arrived at my mother’s house and could feel my body as it shook with nerves, Peter said it had been a long time since we had spoken and we always ended up arguing when I left. I looked at the house and wondered why it had not been larger? It was just the same as Peter, he only lived in a modest home and showed no signs of the family he came from.
I walked up the driveway and rang the doorbell. I waited a few moments, and the door slowly opened.
“Mom, it’s me, Elijah,” I said.
“You better come in,” she replied.
She showed me to the living room, and I sat on the couch and waited for her to come back from the kitchen with coffee for the both of us.
“So, Peter says you were in an accident?” She asked
“I was, and I lost my memory, even now I don’t know a lot,” I replied as clasped my hands and placed them on my knees.
“Peter told me of your accident and your condition, and I could say you deserved it, yet, I won’t, I’ll reserve judgment,” she replied.
“It seems stupid, but it feels strange to call you mom. I didn’t even know Peter or myself after the accident,” I explained.
“Well that has happened and no point dwelling on it. I take it you have questions?”
“Well yes, it has been bugging me since Peter told me, why did we not talk or have a good relationship before?” I asked.
“Well Elijah, it all happened because I was stupid, and you had become caught in the middle of it. Even now it’s difficult for me to explain so bear with me,” she said as tears welled up in her eyes.
“Go on. Take your time,” I said as I leaned forward to listen.
“I had an affair, and I’m sad to say, you caught me in the act with the other person. I made you promise never to tell your dad,” she said as tears rolled down her cheek.
“So, apart from the obvious, how did this relate to dad?”
“Well, I tried to stop this affair and I couldn’t. Your dad found out, and that was the reason he started drinking and becoming abusive. At the same time, he also found out that Peter was gay, which infuriated him even more. He was in the wrong, but he was who he was,” she explained.
“Peter’s gay? I knew there was something and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Keep going.”
“That’s when you started to blame me for your dad’s drinking and his death. You blamed me for making him become that way, and I had made you promise not to say anything,” she said as she sobbed.
“It was a bad situation for all of us, Mom,” I replied
“I was selfish and mean, but I never stopped loving you. Even though you disowned Peter and me when your dad died, and he left you everything,” she said. “Both of us still love you so much, Elijah.”
“You mean, I had it all, and you and Peter got nothing?” I asked confused. “I thought you had most of it by what Peter said, but, you had nothing?”
“Peter is proud and loves you very much. He always has. He wouldn’t want you to feel guilty about it,” she said.
“Mom, I’m so sorry. I obviously got wrapped up in my emotions which must have got the better of me. I’ll have to put things right. You nor Peter shouldn’t have had to carry so much guilt and pain,” I said, wanting to make everything better as fast as I could. Shit happened, but you got over it and made the best of it. What kind of cock was I before the accident?
“Thank you, Elijah, for being understanding. It makes me feel much better,” she said. “I’ve missed you for all these years, my boy.” She added as she wrapped her arms around me.
“But why did I disown Peter? Him being gay doesn’t bother me in the slightest. That’s his prerogative, and I support him fully in it.”
“You followed your dad, and you thought you had to be like him. No matter how many times he beat you, you just looked at Peter being gay as a sign of weakness.
“Wow. Fuck that. It’s over now mom. Everything is going to be alright. I promise I’ll put it right,” I added as I hugged her back.
We chatted more about this and other things regarding my childhood, and we settled a lot of differences that would now be buried in the past. After all, she was still my mother.
“Well mom, I should be going. I have a long drive, and it’s nearly dark,” I said as I stood.
We walked to the door, and we hugged, and mom cried some more and apologized for everything she had put me through as a child, and if she had not had an affair, dad would never have started to beat me.
I climbed into the car and headed off on the long drive home and had some new thoughts in my head that I had to deal with.
I headed out to the highway and thought about how much I hurt the people close to me. For years, I had held my mom responsible for my dad’s death and had totally disowned her once he had died. She had obviously tried to make things right, yet I had just put up a wall between us and had shown no signs of letting her into my world.
Peter was a different case altogether. I had not realized he was gay, I had an idea something was up, but gay… I had used this as an excuse, to push him away from me, and he had taken so many beatings from dad when he tried to protect me for all those years.
How could I have been so dysfunctional toward them? And why had they stood by me all of this time?
I now had Kendall to consider, I had hurt the two closest people in my life, and if there were any sign I could hurt Kendall in the same way, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I said as I banged my hand on the steering wheel.
I couldn’t, and I wouldn’t let Kendall go through what my family had been through, and there was only one way I could guarantee this would never happen. I had grown very fond of Kendall and could feel I was falling for her, and I could never hurt her, so I only had one painful solution.
Chapter 30
Kendall
I arrived at Mandy's house and let Bo out of the car. I could see Mandy as she opened the door and came outside and greeted us.
“Hello big boy, how are you?” she said as she ruffled Bo’s fur.
“Hi Mandy, how are you on this fine Sunday afternoon?” I asked.
“You know, a day of just chilling and taking it easy.”
“How are you and what news do you bring for me?” she asked.
I grabbed Bo and walked toward the front door, “I have quite a bit to tell you,” I said.
We walked to the house and sat on the couch. I noticed that Bo had already made himself comfortable on the big armchair.
“So, what’s the big news?” Mandy returned to the living room with a tray of coffee and cookies.
I picked up a cup and took a sip, “Well, Elijah and I are getting on really well,” I said.
“I see, and this is your lots of news, then is it?” Mandy asked.
“Damn, you have caught me out, I just have news about my personal relationship and love life, it’s plain and dull,” I said as I laughed.
“Nah, cut the crap and be serious, tell me all about it,” Mandy asked as she dunked her cookie in her coffee.
“Well on Tuesday, no sorry on Monday, Elijah came to the office and said he had a flashback about his dad hitting his brother when he was younger. He slept most of the day in his office. So, I called Peter about it, and he wanted me to divert Elijah's mind from thinking of these flashbacks,” I said as I sipped my coffee.
“Go on,” Mandy asked as her cookie fell into her coffee. “Crap.”
I giggled and then continued, “Well on Tuesday I got to Elijah's house early, and had a load of groceries with me, so I cooked him breakfast. I took him to the fair for the day. It was great fun, and he won me a teddy bear, but I gave it to a small kid whose dad couldn’t win her anything,” I explained.
“Ah, the fair. It brings back memories of dating for me,” Mandy said as she cuddled herself and laughed. “That and greasy food and having a stomach ache from hell. But it’s all good, right? You take the good and the bad.”
I laughed. “Well, we went on all the scary rides like a roller coaster, and I gripped his arm, and we got real close. The last ride we went on was the Ferris Wheel, and I snuggled close to his chest as he held me tight,” I explained as my heart opened.
“It sounds more like my school days the more you go on,” she replied.
“Well, the day got better, and by the time we got back to his house, it had started to pour with rain, so we had a rain shower… and got totally soaked,” I said as I smiled to myself as I thought about it.
“And then you will tell me you got naked and he fucked you right there and then?” Mandy said with a glint in her eye.
“No, don’t be crude, it wasn’t like that. We dressed in bathrobes and chatted while we drank hot cocoa,” I explained.
“It gets more interesting. There has to be more?” Mandy asked as she curled her legs up on the couch.
“Well, one thing led to another, and let me just say the bathrobes fell open, and we ended up in bed,” I said as warmth flood over me. “So, I stayed over.”
“You dirty girl you!” Mandy said laughed out loud. “So, how was it? Is he, you know… big?”
“No details, silly girl. I’ll just tell you that he was beyond satisfying,” I said as I smiled and winked at Mandy.
“Come on. There has to be more?” Mandy asked in disappointment.
“I stayed over on Friday as well, and this time Bo was with us, which seemed strange because he used to hate dogs,” I said.
“So, what did you get up to yesterday?” Mandy asked.
“We went to Niagara Falls and had lunch, and took loads of photos,” I said. “We returned to his house, and you know, I stayed over again.”
“I wondered why you were wearing baggy clothes. I just thought you had decided to rough it up a bit. So, by my calculations, you have been ravaged by him three times this week,” Mandy said and wagged her eyebrows.
“Oh yes, and three very nice times they were thank you very much,” I said as I giggled.
“Now Kendall, I know you have gotten close to him, but you should still be careful, don’t forget he’s still in a state where he has no memory, and his mind will be fragile for a while yet,” Mandy said as she looked concerned.
“I know, and I have not tried to fix him, I have just been myself, honest and true,” I replied.
“You know, I only want what’s best for you, and either way I’ll support you, no matter what you decide.”
“You are a good friend Mandy, and I always listen to what you have to say in situations like this, because ultimately, you are much more experienced,” I replied.
“I’ll take that as a compliment, I think,” she said as she giggled.
“Well Mandy, I have updated you on everything I know, apart from that Elijah has gone to see his mother today, but I have no idea how he got on,” I said as I stood. “We must get going. It will be dark in a while.”
“Yep, Kendall, keep me updated and remember, just be careful, you never know,” she said.
I grabbed Bo from the couch, and we finally headed home before the night totally set in. As I turned into the driveway, I could see that Elijah had come to the house. I thought it was strange unless he wanted to tell me about his mother
“Hi Elijah, what are you doing here?” I asked happy to see him.
“I had to see you before I headed home,” he replied.
“So, how did your visit go with your mother? I mean was it as expected, or worse?” I asked.
“It was alright, I learned a lot of things, and one of the biggest things I learned was what a complete dick I had been, and I feel really bad about it,” he said with a tear in his eye.
“You want to come in and talk about it?” I asked.
“No, here is okay, I can’t stay too long.”
“So, what did she tell you then?” I asked.
“Well, I learned Peter is gay, and I had held this against him, even though he had protected me against Dad when he had beaten me. As you know, he used to jump in and take my beatings,” he said.
“And what about the relationship with your mother? How did all that start?”
“When I was much younger, she had an affair, and I caught her with her boyfriend. She made me promise not to tell anyone, especially Dad. He later found out, and that was the reason he started drinking, and even though he used to beat me, I used to spend the most time with him because by then, he’d disowned Peter and Mom,” he explained at length.
“That is terrible. So you got the majority of the business and his fortune?” I asked.
“No, I got all of it, every last cent, apart from a few tens of thousands each, and the odd bit of furniture like Peter’s desk and all that. Peter had just become so disengaged from Dad that he wasn’t really sure Peter existed toward the end of his life, and he hated Mom for what she had done.
“That is dreadful,” I said as I stood in shock.
“Yes, but I followed Dad, I never looked at Peter hardly, even though we had been close, I just got influenced by Dad and his mentality, and I lost my brother for a few years. And with Mom, I just blamed her for everything that happened. It was her fault to a certain extent, but that should have been between her and Dad, and I was too young to be involved. I was kinda dragged into the middle of it. I could have, and probably would have, ended up with no family at all. I mean, it was only Peter who had always cared for me.”
“Wow!”
“The one thing that sickens me more than anything is, I inherited a company that was worth so much, and I had just let them go and basically be penniless, while I abused my power and my wealth,” he continued to say.
I had listened to everything that Elijah said, and felt sorry for him, Peter and his mom. He must have had a bad childhood having to keep his mom’
s affair secret for all those years. I just wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be alright from now on.
And it must have been horrible for Peter to be just cast aside, and not thought of at all, not just by their dad; Elijah had also stopped communicating with him for the most part.
“I have made so many decisions today, and one is quite harsh,” he said as he looked at me dearly.
“What are your decisions, and why are they so harsh?” I asked.
“I have become very fond of you Kendall, and I’ll not ever let myself put you in that situation, I just can’t, it would break your heart, and it would probably break mine in the process,” Elijah began.
“So, what’s it you’ve decided? I don’t understand where you are going with this?” I replied.
“I have decided, I can’t see you anymore, it’s not fair to you, to put you in jeopardy like that,” he said as he bowed his head.
“You can’t just come out with a comment like that, in the case something did happen, we could work through it,” I said as I tried to understand the enormity of what he had just said.
“I can’t, Kendall.”
“So that’s that then? It’s over? You’re just walking away from me as if nothing has happened?” I shouted at him.
“It’s the only solution I can think of, and that’s what I have decided is best for us. For you,” he said as he walked toward his car door.
I stood in shock and as Elijah drove away.
I couldn’t believe he showed no emotion when he explained the situation and the decision he made that concerned me. It had all seemed really easy to him, and now he had just walked away from it, and from me.
I turned and walked to the house with Bo, he climbed on the couch, and I curled up beside him, “Bo, why have I been so stupid?” I said to him.
I laid on the couch and cuddled Bo. I was speechless about the whole situation. How could Elijah just brush me off the way he had? The more I thought about it, the more I started to hate myself for trusting him, for falling for him.
In love with him!
I should have listened to my mom and Mandy. They had both warned me this could happen.