"Not helpful," Megan said, before falling and going skidding on the stone ground, dry heaving as she tried to stand back up.
Justin and Lani stopped to try to help her, and a moment later, Cassia and the cats had doubled back as well, though Megan wasn't sure if that was to help, or because more of the immense figures appeared over the next rise ahead of them.
"Can we bargain with them?" Lani asked, struggling to help Megan stay on her feet, giving up on even trying to run.
"We don't exactly have a lot to work with here," Ashling said as the Count landed on Justin's shoulder. "Ogres aren't usually that worried about avoiding a fight, and even if they're being weird, you probably want your legs."
"If they want a fight, they'll have one. Stay with Megan," Justin said, moving to one side of Megan and Lani, drawing the Claiomh Solais. The approaching figures actually paused when they saw the sword light up, and for a moment, Megan was hopeful. Especially when she saw Cassia and the cats moving to defend the other flank, Cassia drawing her blade as well. Megan tried to start singing, to dispel some of her own nervousness, and help her friends, but more dry heaves took her breath away.
Then she overheard the commentary, as an ogre with horribly oversized arms and hands, even for his size approached, accompanied by another with a badly misshapen face.
"Sword of Light? Thought that was hidden."
"Nah, some humans found it."
"That's them, then?"
"Must be. Don't smell all human, though."
"Think we can trade it?"
"Maybe we can. Ought to fetch something good."
More and more of the huge figures walked, ran, or climbed into view around them, ranging from those who merely looked like oversized, over-muscled humans, to twisted mockeries. None of them looked friendly. When Justin and Cassia threatened with their swords—and Maxwell advanced, growling—there was slight hesitation on the ogre's parts, but only slight.
The lot did stop, however, at a bellow from higher ground, and all heads, including Megan's, turned to look to the voice.
The ogre in the iron chains was standing on a hilltop overlooking the path, small, deep-set eyes roaming over all present. The woman with the basket caught up not long thereafter. "Listen up!" the ogre in shackles called. "We smelled them first."
There were curses in at least a dozen languages, and a couple challenges called in Jack's direction. The ogre balled his hands up, taking a couple steps forward down the hill. "No one is claiming sole rights to the lot. We'll divvy 'em up, but we call first share, and I'll fight anyone who says different."
Megan looked to Ashling, almost expecting the signal to run when the ogres started fighting amongst themselves. That thought was dashed when Jack called attention right back to them. "After we tie 'em."
"What about the satyr and the pixie?" a voice called from the crowd.
Jack considered this, narrowing his eyes. "Depends on who speaks for them. Maybe we let them go. Maybe we don't. Maybe we invite them to join us for dinner." He ambled closer, and apparently, even if they didn't fear Cassia and Justin, he held enough sway or backed up his intimidation enough that ogres parted for him, until he was looming over the group. "Well, who speaks for you?"
Before Ashling or Cassia could get a word out, a familiar soft, sing-song voice whispered. "In this case, I will."
More ogres parted, allowing the Gray Lady and her will o’ wisps through.
Jack's eyes narrowed, and his exhalation almost sounded like a growl. "What are these to you?"
The bean sidhe didn't even look at them, fixing her blank gaze on the ogre instead. "Nothing, but the red-haired girl is Riocard's daughter. You don't want to do this."
Jack tensed, fingers clenching and unclenching. "You don't work for the King anymore. You said so yourself."
"Indeed I don't. I've come on my own interests."
"Then why are you interfering in our interest in dinner?"
"I'm doing you a favor, and you should recognize it. You're smarter than this, Jack, and neither hunger nor anger should hide that."
"Some favor. Last I heard it, Riocard wasn't exactly in a position of strength to go making demands."
"When have you ever known the King to be reasonable about things he cares about? Besides, remember: I was right about the bookmark."
The ogre in chains didn't precisely step back, but he did relax, and the growling exhalations turned into something more like a resigned sigh. "Fine, but don't start with that 'I owe you one', nonsense."
"I wouldn't dream of it. All I ask is that you listen to my proposal, and consider carefully. I believe I have something of use to you, as well."
"And what do we do with them?" he gestured, getting a lot of agreement from the other ogres. Megan was hoping that 'let them go', was an option.
"As you say, invite them all to dinner. They're part of my proposition, after all," finally, the woman turned her gaze on Megan, though the wisp continued to do all the translating. "I think they will acknowledge full well that they do, in fact, owe me one, after all."
Chapter 12: Unconscionably Terrible
The group was shown to one end of what was apparently a children's table. There were only a very few young ogres about, but while she tried to remember her manners, Megan didn't at all care for the way the few there were sniffed at her and kept checking with the elders if they'd changed their mind about the group being cooked.
For the most part, the group was ignored, aside from Cassia getting a couple of offers to join one of the other tables. For the time being, the satyress refused, though Megan could see she was tempted.
Megan was just glad that the tables were too high for her to easily see anything on them. Similarly, as if she wasn't nauseated enough, she was pretty sure that whatever was in the two dozen massive cooking pots being used to prepare the feast was rotten.
Instead, she spent most of the seating process with a notebook she'd pulled out of Lani's pack, sketching a portrait.
“Who's that?”
“The dog-impersonator who shot me,” Megan said. “He had a very distinctive look.”
“Why would you want to focus on that?”
“Better than focusing on being sick.”
From that point Megan did try, however, to pay attention to the 'grown-up' ogres. Jack, Tsonoqua, and a couple of the others sat, but did so facing outward, while the Gray Lady talked to them, indicating she preferred to stand. Because they were apparently involved somehow, she'd made sure that the group had the opportunity to listen in, but the wisp had cautioned them to try to keep quiet.
"What is it you want?" Jack growled.
The wisp floated to hover in front of the Gray Lady, keeping the ogres waiting before finally answering. "I will get to that in good time, but you'll be far more interested in what I have to offer you."
"And what's that?" Tsonoqua asked, eyeing the bean sidhe uncertainly.
"News about the cauldron," the wisp stated, which instantly got a lot of attention from everyone in hearing distance.
Unable to help herself, Megan leaned in towards Lani. "This is that Dagda's Cauldron thing Kerr was talking about?"
"Yeah, it was traded to the ogres," Lani said.
"Wait, for what? Why?"
"For a bookmark."
"That's ridiculous! That's... just like my father." Megan sighed.
"It's not like that. This time, anyway. Even your dad doesn't take the Dagda's Cauldron lightly. He kind of made a point a while ago, and forced them into a deal. And then made them a trade that eased things a lot. It's a long story, but it's a very your-Dad's-version-of-diplomacy story."
"You'll have to tell it some time.” Megan tried to turn her attention back to the larger table, where there was talk of deception, illusions, and something whispered about a 'wrong kind of elf.' But there was too much to deal with on the previous subject. She looked back to Lani. “But if they made a deal with him, why didn't they back off sooner when they found out whose daughter
I was?"
"Mostly for reasons of ogres. They're, uhm," Lani looked around, trying to determine if anyone could hear them. So far, all attention seemed to be on the Gray Lady. "Stubborn, strong, and always, always hungry. Which is part of why the cauldron was so valuable."
“Because it's all-you-can-eat,” Megan said. “Didn't quite get what else it did, actually.”
“Strengthens alliances with those who agree to sit at the host's table,” Lani said.
“That, and people who break their word to the host after eating from it might or might not choke to death,” Cassia said.
“That might be something else,” Lani said.
“Yeah, but Ric liked adding it in."
"So, the cauldron really is a big deal?” Megan asked
“Up there with the Sword of Light and the Fal Stone,” Lani said. “More subtle, but maybe even more powerful."
"Twenty-four huge pots of gack don't give the impression that there's an endless food supply,” Megan said.
Lani looked around quickly, then back at the Gray Lady. "You're right. No wonder they're pissed off. They don't have it."
The Gray Lady chose just that moment to look their way, and Megan quickly silenced herself again. She thought she caught the slightest nod from the bean sidhe, before the fae woman turned back to the ogres and continued on with whatever she'd been saying that Megan had missed while talking to Lani. "I apologize for any misunderstanding, Jack. I don't have the cauldron, and neither does Riocard. He had nothing to do with its being stolen from you. And I don't even know, specifically, where it is. However, I know someone who does."
"And you'll show us to them, and we convince them to share that bit?" Jack suggested with a wicked grin.
"Nothing so impolite. I have arranged a diplomatic meeting of sorts. Just not with you. However, the people who were invited can ask after the cauldron for you."
“Who's invited?” Jack asked. “And what's your angle?”
The blankly shining eyes stared as the wisps answered. “We will get to my angle in a moment. Riocard's daughter and her friends were invited, and it's best they were along now.” She turned her shimmering face to Megan. “There's a lodestone circle less than one mile to the east. Ashling should show you the downward path. Keep following it until it seems like an unconscionably terrible plan. Then go twelve steps further.” The Gray Lady turned her attention to Jack. “I trust they'll be allowed to, so we can continue to talk business?”
The ogre nodded.
The Gray Lady looked at Megan, and for a moment, Megan thought she saw new waves of mother-of-pearl flowing over parts of the bean sidhe's face, lips that clasped more tightly, as if trying harder to stay silent.
“Let's not wait for an escort, boys and girls,” Cassia said.
As they rose from their seats, nodded to their bloodthirsty hosts, and started walking, Megan couldn't help but notice one of the wisps was following them.
“Seems we got an escort anyway,” she said.
“Just keep walking,” Lani said.
“Just keep walking,” the wisp echoed softly.
“Going as fast as I can,” Megan said. “I've had a really bad day, and dealing with a lot of people I'd rather not.”
“Hey, brightside,” Cassia said. “Our Lady of Perpetual Downers did save our hides.”
“Yes. And now we owe her one,” Megan replied. “I know I've only known I'm Unseelie royalty since junior year, but I'm pretty sure we hate that.”
“Just ask about the cauldron,” came the whisper. “Ask as non-threatening children and mortals. That will suffice.”
“Okay. We'll ask,” said Megan. “And we can see the lodestones from here, and we're not going to double back to eavesdrop on your wacky dinner-party planning with the ogres, so you can ease off now.”
The wisp withdrew, and once more the group were walking over otherworldly rocks alone. The particular set of otherworldly rocks they were approaching formed a wide enough ring for everyone to enter at once.
“Get right to the edge and close your eyes,” Ashling said. “The 'downward path' on this thing is … well, it's technically safe, but it's going to be a doozy. Just keep them closed. Cassia, make sure the cats understand.”
“Have you been this way before?” Megan asked.
“Nope,” said Ashling. “We're taking a road less travelled by, and unlike Frost's B.S.ing his grandkids, it probably will make some difference.”
“The instructions were pretty ominous.”
“Yeah, this is not going to be fun. Now step to the right with your hands on your hips.”
“Is that part of the path,” Megan asked, “or yet another attempt to get us to do the time warp for no reason?”
“Fine. Just keep your eyes closed, duck your head slightly, and step forward.”
As Megan did so, it was hard not to stumble. She felt something sink in the pit of her stomach. Then she felt Justin's arm around hers, providing something steady to lean on.
“Eyes stay closed,” Ashling said. “Keep walking.”
“I think this is a terrible plan,” Megan said.
“But is it unconscionably terrible yet?” Cassia asked drily.
Megan started to feel dizzy. She wasn't sure if it was the after-effects of having just recovered from poison, but she did. She held Justin's arm a little tighter and took deep breaths, happy to be distracted by the sea-salt smell of Mrs. Kahale's homemade soap—yet another part of the hobby collection. Still, it seemed best to say, “It is now.”
Ashling apparently agreed, because she started counting their steps aloud. Before she'd reached twelve, the air had begun to feel stuffily damp.
Megan heard water nearby. She opened her eyes. At first, everything was pitch black, but within a few more steps, a faint greenish-yellow light gradually shone through. As they walked along, Megan managed to figure out there was something covering the stone walls that glowed.
In the hazy light, there were two pale sidhe with large spears.
“Are you 'the wrong kind of elf'?” Megan asked before she could reconsider the diplomatic propriety of the question.
The two sidhe parted, and the sickly-white figure stepping between them looked down at her with a dark-eyed smile. “Auntie certainly thinks so.”
Chapter 13: Awkward
“Tiernan, I'm guessing?”
“Tiernan I am, but let's do this properly.” He then stared at Ashling as if he were waiting for something. Megan had no idea what.
Ashling frowned, but encouraged the Count to hover a little higher and straightened her own posture a little. She spoke louder than usual. “Tiernan, allow me to introduce Her Highness, Megan Bridget O'Reilly of Seattle, Washington—and the Unseelie court of An Teach Deiridh—also attended by Lani Kahale, of Seattle, Washington, affiliated with the Seelie court of An Teach Deiridh as the daughter of a kahuna of the menehune, and Sir Justin of Ludlow-via-Seattle, the Princess's Champion. You know Cassia. Her boys are Jude and Maxwell, and my associate is Counts-to-18.”
In the years she'd known her, Megan had never heard Ashling say the Count's full name truthfully. Tiernan's no-fun reputation had to be serious business.
“Megan, this is Tiernan, formerly of the Seelie court of An Teach Deiridh, now Lord of a Handful of Exiles in the Middle of Freaking Nowhere, so please don't try to curtsey.” Well, one could only expect formality from Ashling for so long.
Tiernan frowned at the pixie. "I'd hardly say a handful." He glanced meaningfully to the spearmen to his sides.
"... of Exiles, in the Middle of Freaking Nowhere. You don't need to say it. I handled that part for you," the pixie answered.
Megan grimaced. They had been instructed to show up and be not-challenging and all, and that seemed to be blown out of the water. Megan tried to get the discussion past the insult, curtseying to Tiernan. "We're very sorry, Tiernan, sir. We heard you'd be expecting diplomats for something?"
His attention shifted from the pixie to Megan, and his expr
ession spoke volumes. Where Ashling had been disrespectful, at least he had enough regard for her to argue her point. Megan, he almost made a point of looking down on, as if she was a thing that didn't belong. He stared for several long seconds, as if expecting her to apologize further for speaking out of turn. Megan, in turn, decided she'd apologized once for the disrespect, but wasn't about to do so further. She rose, straightening up even more than usual, and looked back, waiting on his answer.
"What you're here for remains to be seen. Please come along.” He gestured to what proved, as torches were lit, to be a boat alongside a riverbank. It was a very long boat, enough to fit everyone, even the cats. Tiernan offered a hand to help Megan in, but Justin quickly stepped in and beat him to it. Tiernan and the other sidhe seemed to be proceeding as if Megan had decided to get in by herself, as if they didn't see the young knight at all. The pixie was apparently annoying, the half-human negligible, and the human invisible.
Well, this is certainly creepy, Megan thought. She wondered what exactly the technically-silent, tarnished-silver woman had gotten them into. “Nice place you've got here.”
“Thank you. We like it.”
They like it? “You were part of the Seelie court?”
“There can be order in the darkness. Especially when the sunlight is blinding itself to the truth.”
“Guess so.” Megan stared at the water in the hazy glow. She listened to it lap against the side of the boat, sometimes getting pretty high. “If we get splashed on, is it going to harden our skin or mess with our memories?”
“No,” Tiernan said. “Those properties are not in this water.”
“What is in it?”
“Fish. Some carbonic acid.”
“Acid?” Megan kept her arms more carefully in the boat. “What does that do?”
Lani sighed. “All cave water has carbonic acid. It makes sinkholes and stalactites, mostly. Nothing dangerous.”
“I wouldn't say nothing dangerous,” Tiernan commented quietly. “Give it a few centuries.”
There was silence again, except for the lapping of the waves, the movement of the oars, and the fidgeting of the cats.
A Fair Fight Page 6