by S Kline
"You have to tell her now." Sean's voice heightens the pain in my chest.
I know he's right, but I'm not ready to lose her again. I can't handle this pain without her. I shake my head no without thought, my gaze falling to the ground. Dylan grips my shoulder until I look back up at him.
"You really need to tell her, Troy. We're heading back to reality now. She deserves to know. She deserves to hear it from you."
I nod, accepting things for the first time. Dylan releases me and they walk away, heading toward Sean's SUV. I pop the trunk, and toss our bags in before heading around and climbing into the car. I rest my hands on the steering wheel, trying to prepare myself for the words I need to say.
"What was that about?" Kaci’s soft question pulls my gaze to her stunning beauty. Even dressed in sweats and my t-shirt, she's never looked more beautiful.
"I love you." It's not what I meant to say, but I mean it to the very depths of my soul, and I beg her to see that.
Her lips part and her eyes widen at my admission. I need to tell her about Addie. She starts to speak, but I raise a hand to stop her.
"No matter what happens when we get back. I need you to know that."
Her thin brow rises quizzically. "What are you talking about? Why do I feel like you’re saying goodbye?"
I reach out to rest a hand on the soft skin of her jaw. She leans into my touch, tearing off another piece of my heart.
"Addie is pregnant."
Her head snaps up and her eyes widen. She nods her head, but then shakes it softly back and forth. "I know, but what does that have to do with you? How do you even know?"
Kaci’s eyes widen again, but this time it's not in confusion it's in shock as the facts start registering in her beautiful mind. I stay silent, my heart shattering as I give her the space to take it all in.
"Oh God, no!" Her hands shoot up to rest over her lips, her head shaking becoming more aggressive. "That's impossible. You can't be..." She trails of, jerking away from my touch, moving her body as far as she can get it away from me in the crowded space of my car.
I reach out to her again, but she flinches away from me.
"Don't do this, Kace, please just listen."
She covers her ears with her hands, but doesn’t stop shaking her head. I fucking hate myself. In this moment I hate myself even more than I hate Callie Molony. I press the button that turns on the ignition and pull out on the road.
I don't know what to say so I stay quiet. It seems like hours before she speaks again, but when she does I know that I've lost her, for good this time.
"This whole time? You seduced me, made me fall in love with you, and this whole time you knew!" Kaci’s voice grows in anger with every word. "You knew you were having a baby with Addie, and you didn't tell me! Didn’t I deserve to know that I was fucking my cousin's baby daddy?" She's full on screaming now. "It's like a really bad episode of Jerry Springer!" She laughs resentfully, further breaking my heart.
"We are done! You hear me? Don't fucking touch me. Never again, Troy." Her voice is menacingly soft now, and I can't bring myself to look into her hateful glare.
She's hurt. I try telling myself I need to give her time. But even I know time won’t help, and I’m lying to myself. I can practically feel the walls start to build themselves back up around my heart. Walls I know only she will ever be able to tear down. Walls I know will be there forever, because she isn't coming back.
When I hear her quiet sobs as she leans her head against the window, I tighten my grip on the steering wheel. I did this to her. I’ve broken the only women I'll ever love. I deserve to die. And with that thought in mind I head back to Palms, ready to find Callie Molony and end this.
Chapter Twenty-One
Troy
The drive back to Palms is deathly quiet. With each mile I conquer my stomach twists a little tighter. The air between us is so thick with tension I feel like I'm drowning in it. When the city lights finally break over the rolling hills I exhale a rugged breath of despair. As tense as the car ride has been I'm not ready to let go. I'm not ready to watch her walk away. I shake my head and run a hand through my hair.
I need to gather up these thoughts and lock them away. As soon as I pull into the lot of her apartment building she is pushing herself out of the car, and rushing to her door. I quickly shift into park and force myself not to jump out of the car. I pop the trunk and gather her bag. I walk toward her slowly and with purpose. She’s fidgeting with the lock on her door. I drop the bag next to her, and watch her as the lock finally clicks open.
I let the last emotion I'll allow myself to feel flow freely from my lips. "I do love you, Kace. I'm sorry."
She freezes, her whole body tensing up. I run a hand through my hair again, and walk away. I climb back in the car and head to Addie's. I won't marry her. Even if I can't have Kaci, I don’t want Addie. I don't want anyone. I would rather be alone then be without my end game.
As I pull up to Addie’s apartment my whole body tenses, my hair prickling the back of my neck. I can't say what causes it, but a sense of dread fills every ounce of me. I leave the car running, but climb out and head toward her door. It doesn't look damaged from the outside, but when I grab the knob it opens easily, too easily.
I push it open farther, and flick on the switch I know is next to the door. The front hall is now awash in light and I can feel the panic grip me as I take in my surroundings. The table that sits against the wall is tossed over. The vase that usually rests on top is now nothing more than a spray of glass across the marble floor. I let my eyes drift further into the darkness and squint to see the damage. This whole place is wrecked.
"Addie!" I can hear the panic in my voice as I run through the damage, calling her name loudly into the stillness.
I know she isn't here, but I can't stop searching for her.
"Addie!" I yank out my cell and dial the first name I come to. Ardon.
His voice is gruff and angry when he answers. "Bout time you call me, son. This better be a call to tell me you've made up-"
I interrupt his speech. "She's not here!"
The words are a desperate yell. I can hear movement through the phone as he sits up. His voice less angry now and laced with concern.
"What the hell are you talking about, boy? What's going on?"
I pull in a deep breath through the pressure in my chest so I can relay the situation to him. I tell him about showing up to talk to her, finding the place a mess, and Addie gone.
"Get to the meeting house, now!" Ardon clicks off and I rush into action.
I climb back into my car, and rush toward the warehouse.
My car skirts on the gravel as I rip into the warehouse parking area. I slam out of the car and rush inside. Ardon, Ronan, and Ethan are all standing inside already, equal expressions of despair on their faces. How they beat me here I don't know, but I don't give them a chance to speak before words begin pouring from my lips.
I tell them everything. I tell them about the cabin. I tell them about Kaci. I tell them about Kane, Delvin, and Callie. I leave nothing out, and by the time I'm finished Sean and Dylan have arrived. They are standing beside me, and I feel like they are the only reason I'm still standing.
I watch as Ronan pulls out his cell, and steps away from the group. I have no doubt he’s calling Kaci. Ronan will want to make sure his little girl is okay, and I wish I could hear them. I want to know she's okay too.
Ardon steps toward me. His calm demeanor belying the anger I know he is feeling, and that vibrates in his words. "You really fucked shit up this time didn't you, boy?"
I can do nothing but nod. I know I fucked up. I fucked up in the worst possible way. I lost the woman I love, and now one of my best friend’s and my baby are in danger. I wait for Ardon to retaliate against me in some way. I wouldn't be surprised if he beat the shit out of me; it's the least of what I deserve.
Ronan hangs up his phone as he steps toward us again. "We need to find Addie. I want you boys to
load up in Sean's SUV, and head out to Neason's compound. If Callie Molony has Addie, that's where she will be."
We all nod and turn to leave, but I'm stopped by a too firm grip on my shoulder. I pull in a nervous breath before turning to face Ronan. Everyone else walks out around us and Ronan waits until we are alone before he speaks.
"When this is all over, and Addie is safe," I nod as and I wait for him to continue. I can’t help noticing his Irish lilt and how it reminds me of Kaci. It causes a fresh wave of pain to rip through my chest. "You better make this right with my daughter."
My head starts moving back and forth, my lips part, and my eyebrow rise in confusion. "I don't understand." The words whisper out softly, and the small smile on Ronan's face only confuses me more.
"I understand love, Troy. Ardon will come around. We both know you're not actually going to marry Addie." Ronan squeezes my shoulder gently. "You're stronger than I was. You’ll marry for love."
With those final confusing words he releases me and walks out of the warehouse, leaving me to trail after him in a confused daze of hope and despair.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kaci
My heart hammers against my chest as I hang up the phone. My father's voice is still resonating in my head as I drop the cell onto the countertop. My hands are shaking, and I can taste copper on my tongue the result of me punishingly chewing on my bottom lip..
I had barely set the phone down when it rings again. This time is Marcus’s ringtone that plays and I debate whether or not to answer it. He is my best friend, and with Troy gone...
The agony that washes over me at the thought of Troy has my fist clutching against my chest, twisting the fabric of my shirt in my tight grip. Troy says he loves me. Even when I told him we were done, when he had no reason to keep playing the game. That had to mean something, right?
The phone quiets only to blare to life again a few minutes later. I reach a tentative hand out to pick it up, and connect the call. Marcus's voice washes over me before I can even say ‘hello’. I don't find comfort in the sound as I would have before. This week with Troy has changed me. For better or worse I am not the same girl I once was.
"Addie is missing, Kace!" Marcus's voice is wrought with worry.
"I know. Dad called me already."
He scoffs down the line. "Why didn't lover boy tell you? It is his baby mama after all."
I can tell by his tone that he thinks this is new information to me. The reminder of their baby is a deep stab wound to my already fractured heart. Even though I'm furious with Troy for his deception I don't like Marcus talking down about him. There was a time when I would have just shakin’ off his remark, but this past week showed me a new side to Troy, and as angry as I am at him, I know he wasn't lying when he said he loves me.
When I don't respond Marcus tries again to upset me. I now see that it’s exactly what he’s trying to do. Get a reaction out of me.
"Ardon is planning their wedding you know? Soon Troy Donovan will be busy with his real family. Where will that leave you, Kacie?"
I feel my mouth drop open with this new information. Troy said nothing about a wedding. Although I should have guessed that Ardon would push for one. He wouldn't want his only daughter giving birth to a bastard child. What will I do then? Can I really stomach seeing them together? Watching Troy and Addie raise their baby, or watching them grow old together?
No. That's supposed to be me. I feel a sob work its way from my lips. Marcus must hear it too, because he chuckles down the line at me.
"You know, I had dreams for us, Kacie."
I pull in a breath, and try calming myself down enough to focus on what he is saying. I couldn't figure out what Troy and Sean were so angry at Marcus for, but this must be the other side of him they kept referring to. What they were trying to protect me from.
"It was supposed to be me and you." He continues. "But you just wouldn't give in. I thought if I was patient we'd get there, but you just pushed me away." Marcus blows out an exaggerated breath. "Now you’re fucking ruined." He growls down the line, making me jump at his tone.
"No way can I fuck you after you've been with him. No one will want you now. You’ve been tainted. Enjoy your lonely life, Kace. Troy will fuck you when he pleases, because we both know you'll let him. Then he will go back home to his wife when he's done with you. Because we both know, whether Troy wants to or not, Ardon will make him marry Addie."
With those last parting words Marcus hangs up on me. I fall to my knees on the hard tile of my kitchen floor. The unforgiving cold of the ground under me doing nothing to relieve the pain I feel inside. The tears pour out of me, and I would do anything, absolutely anything to start this week over. To not feel this pain. I exhale on a deep shaky breath.
No. That's a lie. Now that I’ve experienced that kind of love I can't imagine a life of never feeling the way Troy made me feel, even if it means my suffering in the end. I force myself from the floor, determined to push my selfish feelings away, and go help in the search.
Despite what's happening within me, Addie is my cousin, and I should be out there helping to find her. I start to walk toward the bathroom, but stop as a cool gust of air skates over the skin of my bare arms. I raise my gaze up to be met with Marcus's deep brown eyes, a sinister smile on his face.
I open my mouth to scream, but something hard smashes against the back of my head. Darkness clouds into the corner of my vision, lights flash behind my closing lids. I fall to the floor, and groan at the pain of the tile connecting with my body. I force my eyes open, trying to stay awake.
I see a flash of red next to Marcus, but everything is blurry, and I can't figure out exactly what I'm seeing. Dizziness assaults me, and my body gives into the darkness over taking me.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Troy
"There is nobody here." Dylan's panicked voice reaches me as he rounds the corner of the Molony impound, breathing heavily, bent over with his hands on his knees.
"I can't find them either." Sean rounds the opposite corner, Ethan running behind him.
"Fuck!" I shout into the darkness, the cold air chilling me clear to my soul.
I run back toward the SUV. I don't look back but I know they are following me. I can hear their footsteps pounding against the pavement behind me. We load up into the SUV, none of us bothering to buckle our seatbelts as Sean reverses at a particularly unsafe speed. We don't care. All we can think about if finding Addie.
I yank out my phone, and send a quick text to Ronan. Without thinking about my actions I dial Kaci's number. I don't expect her to answer, and I'm not surprised when I get her voicemail. I hang up. My chest squeezes tight at the thought of never hearing Kaci’s voice again. I shake off the thoughts. Right now I need to focus on finding Addie and the baby. My baby.
I stare out the window as the rolling hills disappear into the night sky, rushing past with our speed. Suddenly my phone vibrates in my hand and illuminates the backseat. Assuming it's Ronan I answer without glancing at the caller ID display.
"Troy."
"Lover boy, didn't expect to hear from you so soon. Didn't you know our sweet Kaci is still pretty angry with you?" Marcus's voice washes over the line, taunting me.
I remove the phone from my ear and see Kaci's name on the screen. Why is he calling from Kaci's phone? Because naturally she ran back to him, moron.
"What do you want Marcus? Where's Kace?"
He tisk’s me over the phone as a sinister chuckle leaves his lips. "Always so serious, Troy, right to business. Okay then," Marcus pauses, and my stomach cramps tightly in on itself. Something isn't right, and I fear what he'll say even before he says it.
"Kaci is here with me. She’s safe..." Another chuckle leaves him. "for now anyway. Callie seems to be in a pretty playful mood, so I can’t promise Kaci’s safety for long."
Callie? My whole body freezes up as true fear settles in. A kind of fear I’ve never known... "You have Addie." I whisper the words in
to the phone. It's not a question. I know the answer even before he responds.
"She’s here."
"Where are they? Are they okay?"
Marcus chuckles at me again. "Well, now, Troy that depends on you."
"What the fuck does that mean? Quit playing games with me, Marcus."
"Leave the guys, Troy. Get out of that giant ass SUV, and get back into your car. Come alone."
"Why are you doing this, Marcus? Kaci fucking trusted you."
Marcus sighs heavily, a sound of genuine regret leaving his lips for the first time. "I didn't want to hurt her, Troy. You made me do that. You couldn't just leave Kaci alone." His words are growing angrier as he speaks.
"It was different with, Kace."
I don't know why I'm telling him this. Maybe I'm hoping he will understand, that I can connect with him on this and he'll let her go. Marcus’s chuckle returns more sinisterly than before. It tells me that’s not happening at all.
"Sure she was. Come alone or I'll put a bullet in her head, and I really don't want to do that, Troy."
"Where are you? I'll be there."
After he rattles of the directions I hang up. I look back up and I realize the SUV is pulling back into the lot at the warehouse. I jump out and run to my car. I can hear Dylan and Sean saying my name. I turn around slightly. If I don’t stop they will probably suspect something is wrong. Marcus said to come alone, and I won’t risk any of them being hurt.
"Where are you going, Troy?" Dylan calls out to me.
“I’m just going to drive around. See if I can find anything that might tell us where they are.”
“Let us come with you.” Sean’s voice cracks a little, and it forces me to recognize the fact he is just as terrified as I am.
“I just need to be alone right now.”
Dylan and Sean both look at me like I’ve lost it, but I turn quickly, and climb into my car before peeling out.
Kaci