"Darlin,' can I call you back? I let your aunt in the kitchen and she's burning shit up."
My Gram cursin' would normally make me laugh because it was rare and Aunt Robin was the only one who could frustrate her enough to get it out of her, but today I couldn't laugh. I couldn't because I called her for a reason.
"Gram, I--"
"Griffin, honey--Robin, I swear, if you burn my kitchen down to this ground I will never forgive you."
"Momma, I ain't burnin' down nothing. It's this damn oven. It's long past fixing."
"Ain't nothing wrong with my--Griffin? Griffin, you still there?"
I nodded like she could see me. "Yeah."
"I'm sorry. I'll call you right back and we'll chat then."
"It'll only take a second, Gram. And it's pretty important. Only a sec." A second. A second… that's how quickly things changed, my life, my future.
Gram went quiet. "Okay, sweetie. What is it? Is everything okay?"
I let out a breath. Closing my eyes, the coffeehouse disappeared from my vision due to closed lids. I hadn't even made it out of the parking lot yet. I hadn't even gone back to my apartment. Swallowing, I opened my eyes, rubbing my hand on the steering wheel of my Escalade. It was a gift, this car, from some folks that owned an apparel line. A near-silent laugh hit my throat that shit like this used to mean something to me.
"I hope so," Gram continued like there wasn't a break in the conversation. "We're awful proud of you, honey. Of what you're doing up there. Your poppa, he rented out the whole steakhouse downtown for that game you got coming up. The one with the scouts? They're gonna play it on all the screens."
I closed my eyes, my chest burning. I wondered if it were possible to have a heart attack at twenty-two. Or maybe the burn was something else. An ache or something.
"Honey?"
"I'm fine," I told her, and smiled again. For me this time, at least I think, and not just to sound happy. "And that's awesome, what Pop did." It was more than awesome. It was more than...
I rubbed my hand over my face. "I guess I just wanted to check in. And you don't need to call back. I'm good."
"Are you sure?" The question came awfully fast, so fast in fact that I believed she may have been questioning what I said.
"I'm sure. Go take care of your kitchen."
"I will, sweetie pie. Take care. Robin! I swear, I--"
The line went dead as she turned off the phone and I lay my head back. That was the first time I ever did that.
Lied to my Gram.
~ 3 ~
Griffin
"I made an appointment at the health center. I'll let you know what I find out."
I took that text from Sarah into practice and it affected every move I made, every shot I took. Eventually, coach had it out with me, reaming me off to the side while the other assistant coaches scrimmaged with my teammates. As team captain, he expected better from me. He wanted to know why I had my head in the clouds and why it seemed as if I wasn't there. I wished I was there, could be there. The guys all went out for beers and wings, but I headed back to the apartment. I didn't have an appetite tonight. I didn't want to do anything tonight. But when I got in, I did grab a beer. I needed something to calm my nerves.
Taking the bottle to my room, I shut the door with my foot, throwing my bag on the floor next.
I clicked on Sports Center and hopped into the middle of my mattress. I didn't even bother to take off my shoes and I could hear my Gram laying into me about that in my head.
My Gram. Gram. I lied to her today.
I popped the cap off the beer with the edge of my end table, taking it to my lips. The rich taste layered my tongue for some much needed relief, but I had a hard time swallowing. Drinking excessively got me into this shit in the first place.
After forcing what I had in my mouth down, I retired the bottle to the floor. I watched Sports Center for a bit, but got distracted by everything in my head. Eventually, I reached down and grabbed my computer from the floor. I didn't know what led me there, to the Health Center's website, but that's where I navigated. I started in all the usual places, facts and information about safe sex. But then that headed me into pregnancy. I guess that was natural. I learned about cycles and the best time for a woman to get pregnant, what raised the odds and whatnot, but none of it told me what I wanted to read. I wanted to know what I was supposed to do now that my life was about to change? Or one better, how could I break that news to my family? My gram said they were all so proud of me, and my pop... my pop. He cared about me, was proud of me. I knew he was, but he wasn't about sharing things like that. That's just the guy he was, so what Gram said...
It just meant so much.
I didn't want to disappoint my family--him.
Stomping went down outside my room, inside my apartment, and I wanted to toss my computer at the sound of female voices. I lived with two roommates, so girls often made their way in.
What I wouldn't give for some fuckin' peace and quiet.
I'd be expected to be out there with them, especially since I didn't go for wings, but I had no interest.
I was tired of pretending to be interested.
"Welcome to Ridgemore University Health Center's website! Do you need a health advisor to help you with a problem?"
It was one of those prompts that popped up on the screen with a stock photo of a nurse. In this case, wanting to assist me in a chat. I didn't have a medical problem, though.
I just needed someone to talk to.
I hovered over the tiny "x" to get out of the screen, but for some reason I hovered back left and hit, "Sure."
"One moment, please," the smiling nurse said now, and shit, how many times I thought about hitting that tiny "x" again. What was I doing? I'd been doing a lot of stupid things lately.
Eventually, the message went away and a chat screen came up. I was prompted to type in a user name and I positioned my fingers over the keys, freezing. Like ripping off a Band Aid, I typed: basketball_guy.
Original, right?
basketball_guy filled in for me, and soon, another user came up.
Health_Advisor_RP: Hello, basketball_guy. I will be your health advisor for tonight's chat. Along with the registered nurses here, I will assist you with your problem. How can I help?
I guess there was no turning back now.
I let out a breath, just letting myself go with it.
"I actually don't have a problem," I typed. "Not a physical one. Do you guys give advice on things? Like counseling? I don't want you to be my arm chair doctor or anything, but... yeah. I just need some advice. Can you do that?"
I sat back, waiting, and eventually, I got a response.
"I'll sure try."
And so I went into it. I went for it.
basketball_guy: I messed up pretty bad with something. Something I never would have done. It makes me sick that it happened.
Health_Advisor_RP: All right. Continue.
basketball_guy: I think I got a girl pregnant.
I waited. They didn't make me wait long.
Health_Advisor_RP: Wow. I understand your worry.
basketball_guy: Yeah. I don't know what to do. I didn't plan for this and I don't even know the girl. We met one time. I'm just kind of freaking out right now. I got a scholarship here. I play basketball and I'm worried about how this will change my life. I mean, we don't even know each other.
Health_Advisor_RP: Your partner, does she know she's pregnant for sure?
basketball_guy: She doesn't. She took a test. One of those at-home ones. She said it was positive, but those can sometimes be false.
Health_Advisor_RP: Yes, she's right.
Why did it make me feel good to read this person saying that? Like there was hope or something.
basketball_guy: She's made an appointment at the Health Center. We'll find out soon. I just have no idea what to do.
Health_Advisor_RP: And you want my advice? I can give it, but it will be real, and you might not want to h
ear it.
For some reason, that made me smile. That's what I needed right now. Lies, Tanya, and other things of that nature made me veer off course. If someone was willing to lay it all out to me, I definitely wouldn't turn it down.
I smiled again.
basketball_guy: I want the real. Don't hold back.
Health_Advisor_RP: Are you sure? Not too late to turn back.
And so I laughed this time. I never thought I'd do that today. Not at all.
basketball_guy: Yes, please.
Health_Advisor_RP: Okay. Here it goes. The real. basketball_guy, I hear a lot of yourself in this conversation. A lot of I. Well, have you thought about your partner? How she feels about having a baby with someone she just met.
The words hit like a slam to the chest on the court. This person was right. I hadn't thought about how Sarah was dealing with this. I'd been thinking about me.
basketball_guy: Shit. No, I hadn't.
Health_Advisor_RP: LOL
I froze. I just cursed to this person. This person who was probably a little old lady wearing scrubs that had kittens on it.
basketball_guy: Sorry.
Health_Advisor_RP: No, it's okay. You're cool.
Cool? Cool. Perhaps, this person wasn’t quite as old as I thought.
basketball_guy: It's automatic sometimes. I'm a dude. I hope I didn't offend you too bad.
Health_Advisor_RP: Like I said it's fine. Maybe one of the nurses might have freaked out. They're well over sixty, but I'm just a student volunteer. Helping them out and stuff.
A volunteer. I suddenly wanted to ask this person their name, but thought it might not be appropriate. I did feel better about the situation, though. This was someone I probably passed along campus, someone real.
Health_Advisor_RP: And honestly? I definitely say worse when I'm with my friends.
Yeah, real. Definitely real.
basketball_guy: Well, damn. You definitely made me feel loads better.
Health_Advisor_RP: Well, that's damn good ;)
I laughed.
basketball_guy: No one is monitoring these chats, are they? I don't want to get you in trouble.
Health_Advisor_RP: Maybe.
They said it so simply. Like they didn't care. Not at all.
I really wanted to know their name.
Health_Advisor_RP: But back to your problem, I think you should talk to your partner. Y'all are going through this together, and though you may not know her, you're each other's allies right now. Support her. You can support each other.
My lips lifted.
basketball_guy: Thank you. That's good advice. Maybe I should go with her to her appointment. Do you think that would be a good idea?
Health_Advisor_RP: I think that would be a GREAT idea. Definitely a good start.
basketball_guy: Great. Anything else?
Health_Advisor_RP: Just be there for her. And take each step as they come.
Take each step at a time. That really did make sense. And thinking about it, that's how I'd handle my family, too. I needed to address things with Sarah first, focus on that together. After that, taking each step as it came sounded like the best way to go about this.
Shaking my head at that screen, I let out a breath, relieving some pent up anxiety. I'd been through hell today, absolute hell, but this person, this student volunteer, set so much of that at ease. So. Damn. Much.
Health_Advisor_RP: Can I help you with anything else, basketball_guy?
"You could tell me your name," I started, but for some reason that felt like I'd be opening a can of worms that I shouldn't. I hit backspace, deleting the sentence. Instead, I typed: "No, thank you. It was perfect advice. You were perfect." It did feel weird typing that. For all I knew, I could be talking to dude, but that didn't stop me. I typed it anyway.
Health_Advisor_RP: Thank you. I appreciate that. Signing off now.
After that, Health_Advisor_RP's icon went grey. They'd disappeared as quickly as they came into my life.
~ 4 ~
Roxie
I smiled after closing that chat window. I hadn't been able to do that often. Saying I'd seen some shit tonight was an understatement.
Shit.
Laughing to myself, I brought my fingers to my lips. That guy was funny, "basketball_guy."
"And we're done, ladies!" Sheila announced, raising her arms over bouncy curls. She was growing out her hair, a seventies-style Afro that would put Beyonce's Foxy Cleopatra to shame. Standing from the computer she worked from tonight, she placed her hands on her hips. "Freddy's anyone?"
Freddy's was a dive bar on the north end of campus that our derby team liked to go to. Roller derby girls and hot wings just went together. Our team was called the Venomous Vixens and we couldn’t get enough of Freddy’s. We went there after practices, our bouts (matches), or really any occasion. If it was a Tuesday, the Ridgemore-U Vixens could be spotted at a high top table with some drinks. We'd just volunteered tonight at the university's Health Center, so it didn't surprise me that's where the girls wanted to head right after. We actually did make an accomplishment here tonight. We all liked to help when we could so volunteering and fundraising were things we did quite often.
Clare, the reason I found the Vixen's, turned my way with her pixie cut, a purple streak tonight donning her do. She shook my shoulders. "Cheese sticks, Elbowa?" she asked, referencing my roller derby alias. We all had crazy names, a play on words, to go with how we performed when on our skates. Clare's was Miss B. Haven. And me? Well, I was Elbowa, Roxie Elbowa. Suited my name well I supposed.
Clare had started sliding on her coat as did I, the Midwestern chill starting to hit us now in November.
"I'm thinking I'll pass--"
"You're coming," she said, tilting her head. "Just one night with me and the girls."
Clare had to nudge me sometimes. She knew I'd be on the Internet all night if I didn't, chatting with the viewers of my channel. That was our connection. How she found me, but that's a story for another day. For now, she was the only one who knew about my channel, and she’d been more than accepting of it.
With a smile, I zipped up my coat, getting under her arm when she pulled it around me and tugged me along with the rest of the Vixens. We got a thank you from the nurses on the way out of the center. I'd love to help them out again. Maybe I would if my schedule allowed it.
Freddy's was packed tonight. In fact, all that was available was bar space, the Vixen's begrudgingly settling for it. The grumbles across the girls told me that, but as I said, we loved our wings--and cheese sticks as Clare said. The wide bar made for an interesting way to have conversation across us all, and though I was staying in it for the most part, I had my phone out for the other.
Holding it under the bar, I typed in a name.
Basketball_guy.
Foolish? Yes. Silly? Definitely, yes, but that didn't stop me from typing the name into various search engines of the many social media accounts I had. I guess you could say I was curious, wanting to put a face to the name, but with such a common pairing of words I came up with nothing but dead ends. Narrowing down by location helped, and college helped even more, but still. There was nothing specific.
I bit my lip.
"That girl is always on her phone," came Shelia's voice from my right. "Clare, take that shit from her."
Clare's hand moved by my side, but I lifted the phone. Leaning forward, I shook my head at the group. "No need, ladies. No need. It's going away." These girls could be a rowdy bunch, but they kept me in check. That's what friends did I supposed.
I put the phone away, satisfying the group. They went back to their conversations, but my gaze went ahead at a voice. It was a voice I'd heard before.
That beautiful guy. He was on the T.V. in front of me. In fact, he was on all the T.V.s in the bar. A girl had a microphone in his face, asking him questions, and the name on the screen made my eyes widen. Him? He was... My neighbor was...
Griffin Chandler.
Quite literally everyone had heard of him. If you hadn't, you'd been living under a rock at a University that prided itself on basketball. I'd definitely heard his name, but had, oddly enough, never seen him before. I wasn't much of a social butterfly and had yet to go to any sports games of any type in my four years here. They just hadn't interested me before.
I leaned forward on my palm, watching Griffin on the screen, and I still couldn't believe it. My neighbor was the Griffin Chandler. Too funny.
But then the smile left my lips. The last time I'd seen him I had watched him get chewed out by his girlfriend. He was getting broken up with by his girlfriend.
Tilting my head, I rested my arms on the bar. The bartender refilled my Coke and I took a sip, my gaze not leaving the T.V. He had blue eyes, this guy. Really blue, and they weren't like the sky. No, they were much clearer.
To my side, I found Clare watching with me, but I highly doubt with such observance. She didn't really "swing" that way, I guess you could say. She no doubt had her eyes on the screen dismissively, but still something weird left my mouth anyway.
"Have you met him?" I asked. I didn't know why I asked. It was a stupid question.
"He knocked my books out of my arms once."
Shocked, I faced her, and was kind of a little disappointed. He seemed... I don't know. Nice or something. He liked to smile a lot on the screen now and on the balcony that night. And mean people didn't usual smile. Though I didn't know how much I could gather about him since I hadn't met him.
Roxie & Griffin: A Found by You Novelette Page 2