Awed, I watched the excitement before me, a room already huge, crowded twice over by chanting bodies. People were even standing to be here, to be a part of this, and a look toward the court told me why.
The man of the hour charged down the court, his feet moving faster than the rest as he dribbled the ball. Sweat clumping blond locks, Griffin Chandler played the hell out of the game, creating a clear path for himself in which others couldn't catch up. He was in his own world, his own stratosphere, and there, he made magic happen. I wasn't lying before; I knew absolutely nothing about basketball, but I did know one thing. That orange basketball in his large hands was supposed to go into the hoop, and that's what he did. Shot after shot, the ball went in, and I watched, my lips parted while folks cheered around him. Taking a second, I stared at those people. He was doing this, affecting people and doing great things.
My lips lifted at that and I found myself clapping and cheering along with the rest. Who would have thought I'd be here? Doing this? As I said, he truly affected people.
The clock was ticking down and so the crowd got louder, and I got louder. And damn, how crazy that was.
A buzzer oh so familiar to me sounded, as our team, too, had just played against another. That alert signaled a victory of my own at that time, but now? That sound led Griffin and his team into their own victory. They picked him up, hugged him like I had Clare, but this wasn't like Clare. No. Seeing Clare didn't make my face hot or my tummy dance at the mere sight of her. This was different.
So much different.
A silliness I felt before had me pulling my gloves out of my coat pocket, preparing to leave while I slipped them on, but the thing about going to a crowded basketball game? Folks tended to leave when it ended. The place turned into a Friday matinee letting out and I got swept up in the crowd.
Groaning, I further attested to myself that I had no business coming in here tonight. It'd take forever to get out of here.
Instead of dwelling on my poor decisions to make an appearance, I took a seat, getting on my cellphone. With it, I checked the comments on the last video I posted while the crowd let out around me. If I couldn't get home right away, at least I could check up on things from here.
How about showing us some pussy tonight, Masked Diva?
Curling my lip, I deleted that comment. This one was made by someone named Big D, a frequent commenter and I shook my head. I didn't do that kind of stuff and my fans knew that. Several of the same comments followed that up and I got over them real fast. Putting the phone away, I got up. People were just in clusters now, so I took advantage of the opening.
I headed out of the building, making a beeline for the exit. I found it easily, of course. I'd been through those doors a million times, but something made me stop this time. That same something had made me stop for a while now and take notice of him.
Barely five feet away from me, Griffin stood, talking to some friends in a semi circle around him. He had a ball cap on, backwards, along with a t-shirt and windbreaker pants covering the rest of his lengthy frame. God, his ability to capture my attention should have bothered me really. I didn't know him and he didn't know me, but still, I couldn't help being drawn to him. That didn't make sense in the grand scheme of things, not at all. We were from two different worlds, he in his and me and my own. Despite that, my awareness of him… I couldn't put a lid on.
Maybe I shouldn't.
A friend in his circle who looked like another basketball player as he wore something similar fist bumped him and then left. The guy took the other friend with him and that created an opening. An opening for what, I didn't know.
You could tell him hi?
I shook my head to myself. That seemed foolish.
You could tell him good job.
That didn't sound like a particularly weird thing to do. I watched the game and he did do a good job.
I nodded, settling on that.
Standing there, he spoke to someone else now that came to him, an older gentlemen. He shook Griffin's hand and told him good job.
I knew that wouldn't be weird.
The older guy's words helped boost my confidence a bit, my steps getting closer and closer, and I noticed something. Those butterfly wings slowed their pace in my gut. This was getting easier. Easier.
You can do this. He's just a guy.
A guy. He was just a guy, and that guy suddenly had a girl in his arms when she cut right in front of me. And I noticed blonde hair, blonde hair I felt like I'd seen before. It cloaked down her back, tiny arms around Griffin's neck, and I realized I’d lost my opportunity in that one little moment. The thought finalized when she stepped up on her toes, planting a kiss on his lips.
Looking away, I kept moving so it didn't look so obvious that I was interested in approaching Griffin. Instead of going to him, I passed him and the girl. Her back to me, I never saw her face. I wasn't interested.
*
Later that night, I stood in front of the mirror. I wore my most requested outfit, a basic black corset with embroidered lace around the leg holes of a set of matching black panties. Garters held sheer stockings in a thin layer over my brown thighs. With a frilly boa, I had myself completely ready with my open computer on the bed behind me. I could see it there over my shoulder in my reflection, ready for me to simply hit start, but I waited a second, staring at myself.
Pulling my hair over my shoulder, I wondered why this outfit was the most requested. It was so simple really and not my sexiest by far. I showed more skin in other outfits, but I was never naked. No, these videos were always on my terms.
They were for me first and foremost.
I pulled my black mask off the dresser, the finishing touch to my outfit, and my fingers brushed a paper there. On it, my bill for my final semester of college stared back at me.
Ignoring the zero balance, I tossed it in the trash. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't think about the reason it was paid and who was responsible for that very fact. Because if I did, I'd have to think about the reason why I'd remain here for the holidays. I didn't have a home to go to.
I didn't have one because of him.
Sliding my mask on, I studied myself, my lips red and my bosom glittering with a shimmery lotion I put on. Turning around, I grabbed the frilly fan next to my monitor. After that...
I went live in the softly lit room.
~ 7 ~
Griffin
I pulled back from Sarah after the game in my apartment, letting go of her after the hug she'd given me. She looked on cloud nine. She looked just as happy as I felt.
"Congratulations, Griffin," she said, grinning at me. "Led us to another victory."
This game still had my mind blown. Especially what Coach told me afterward about the scouts that came to see me. He couldn't tell me too much, but from what he gathered, I'd definitely gotten folks’ attention. I was on their radar now. They were watching me, of all people, just some dude from Texas raised by a single dad along with four rowdy brothers. Me, who came from nothing, could actually be something.
It all was a damn dream, man. A damn trip.
So much had happened today, so much, and I used it all out there today. I played as best I could in hopes of not wasting a moment. I couldn't waste one, and by the light in Sarah's eyes, I had a feeling we shared the same new lease on life. Both of us now had the chance to live our own lives, and though I think we could have managed one working together, with a child, we didn't have to.
We could live our own paths out to the fullest.
She hugged me again, congratulating me once more before she went off to find her boyfriend. Yeah, she'd met someone recently, someone she could really have a shot with now and that made me damn happy for her.
My teammates surrounded me, just as fuckin' hyped as I was. We all won today. We all won for our school, and for the first time in a while, I didn't mind one of these parties the guys had gotten me to go along with at my place. I wanted to party tonight. I wanted to celebrate
. A drink was handed my way, then another, and it all felt good. It felt familiar. I took them happily, sitting on the couch with the guys. A girl sat on my lap and I held her hips, letting her kiss my neck. She bit down, tasting in front of everyone.
My head swam with all the alcohol in my system and I let her, her lips moving against my neck. My whole body warmed, the beer aiding it, and I didn't stop her. Her mouth didn't stop either, nor did her hands as she touched me, squeezing my biceps before reaching down for more. My cock went stiff at her hand and I gazed around, my boys getting similar action with girls all over them in various corners of the room. These girls didn't care. They were bold.
Moving my head, I stared at the one in my lap and she looked right back at me, pupils dilated like she had something more in her than a drink or two. Her face fused just then into someone, changing before me. Her jet-black hair went shorter, to a girl I’d recently met, a girl with brown hair who used to be blonde, and I realized like before I didn't know her name. She was a nameless face and what bothered me the most...
She didn't seem to care.
My eyes flashed and her face fused again, to someone different this time. The short hair went platinum, lengthening, as she turned into another girl. It was a girl I'd seen only hours prior, one I had to scrape from my body with the jaws of life when she kissed me at my game earlier. The whole thing, the whole situation I currently had myself in, shook my stomach up. Illness took on a new meaning and with all the alcohol I had consumed I didn't want to test the hold I had to keep all of it down.
"I need some air," I told the girl, removing her from my lap. She frowned with a pout, but that quickly went away when she put her sights on my teammate next to me. Gary was his name, and I didn't see her face again. She buried it into his neck, and that wave hit my stomach again.
I really need some air.
I found it on the balcony and I could only blame the reason I didn't turn myself right around after seeing who'd already taken residence out there on the fact that I was inebriated.
Tanya lounged against the rails, her tan pea-coat bundling her up while she smoked a cigarette. Seeing me, she quickly put it out and it took all I had to keep from rolling my eyes. She knew I hated that shit, but that didn't really matter. We weren't together anymore.
Try telling her that, though.
She came up to me like she had at the game, pushing her hands up my chest. "You looking for me?"
I nearly scoffed that time. Passing her completely, I went to the ledge. I wished for a quick way down, but right now I settled for the air.
"You were so out of line," was all I told her, watching my breath in a cloud. I wasn't even cold. In fact, my face, my heart, were both on fire.
Her hand touched my back and I flinched, shrugging it away. I faced her when she came beside me and she had the nerve to look hurt.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked, tilting her head.
I shook mine. "You got a lot of nerve coming here. Going to the game. You said we were done--"
"But I made a mistake." She slid her hand on mine, and I watched her while she squeezed it. "I was dumb. I told you that at the game. I told you I'll be better. Try to be more patient with you."
Patient with me. I rubbed my temple, looking away. "And Speedy?" I asked her. Speedy was the reason she left this time. She was the reason Tanya left this time.
She gazed away now. "That meant nothing. We were just confused. We let things go too far. The only thing we have in common on that level is you. Was you."
And yet another mistake. Me, her, them. I closed my eyes. That's how Speedy had gotten her nickname, how quick she could get someone off if she wanted to. When we were all together... that time… it had been self-explanatory.
Made me sick to think of now.
"I don't want Ursula," she urged, calling Speedy by her real name. "We're better as friends. I want you."
"Yeah?" I said facing her. "Well, maybe I don't want you."
She went quiet, the only sound in the air her labored breathing. She released the grip she had on my hand slowly, lowering it to her side. "What are you... What do you mean?"
"I mean just what I said," I said, standing tall, my heart charged with something, anger. I'd felt this before when we spoke a month ago, but this was a different kind. I wasn't mad at Tanya anymore. No.
I was mad at myself.
I was mad at what I let myself become, and how I could feel myself slipping, heading back to a place I didn't want to be. Mere hours ago, I found out I wouldn't be a dad to a woman I had only been with once. And now, here I was out here with Tanya in a place I could easily fall back into, and I hated myself for that. On top of that, I let a girl all over me in a public place, one that was probably screwing one of my teammates right now, and let's not even mention the fact that I had more than enough beer tonight.
My family, my pop, though I know they'd be disappointed if I had a child at this point in my life, they wouldn't ever be ashamed of me. But this? This shit going on inside my apartment, this thing out here with Tanya, that was something to be ashamed of.
I was tired of feeling ashamed.
"Griffin?"
I turned to her, my nostrils flaring. "What else is there to say? I told you that--"
"You've been drinking," she concluded, staring at me with wandering eyes.
And she almost looked relieved at the fact.
Crossing her arms, she stood tall. "I think we should talk about this when you haven't. You don't want to say things you don't mean."
I may have been drinking, but for the first time, I saw things crystal clear. My eyes narrowed. "A few drinks won't change anything. You got it right the first time. We need to quit doing this. We shouldn't be doing this."
"But, Griffin--"
"No!"
Her eyes flashed at me, and I looked away from them. Instead, I decided to move away from her. I was afraid of what I'd say if I didn't.
She didn't take what I said at face value because she joined me at my side. She placed a hand on my back, rubbing me, touching me, and I couldn't hold back anymore.
I was done.
"You are toxic, Tanya."
Her hand stopped.
But my lips didn't.
"This relationship is toxic for me," I paused, letting out a breath, "and I can't do this anymore. The back and forth. The bullshit. One week you want me and the next week you don't. I. Can't. Do. This. Anymore."
She swallowed hard, looking away, and finally, she dropped her hand to her side. "It won't be that way this time."
I fought myself from laughing, shaking my head. "We don't make sense."
"But we do. We're perfect. We look perfect together. Don't you see that--"
"I don't love you."
With the words, she stepped back, her boots touching the balcony, and I watched my breath in a cloud. I didn't love her and I don't think I ever did. I think I loved the idea of us, of what we could have possibly been, but I now knew something.
That had been so naive of me.
She dampened her lips, and with what she said next I knew damn well I'd made the right choice.
"That can come with time," she said, moving closer to me again. "For both of us. It's a crazy time; almost being done with school, you going to go pro. Things are crazy and... just don't do this. Give it time."
I closed my eyes again. "Go. I need you to go now."
Her feet didn't leave right away and I thought I'd have to say it again. But then she crossed her arms, walking away.
"And Tanya?"
Her feet stopped, her steps frozen.
"Tell Ursula I'm done, too." She'd been known to come in Tanya's wake and I knew it had been only because they'd been pursuing their own relationship that she hadn't come to me.
I wanted to kill that fire before it started.
She left after that, left me to my thoughts, and for the first time I felt the chill of the evening. I went back inside, to my room, and did something I sho
uld have done at the beginning of the night.
I closed my door, keeping everything else out.
~ 8 ~
Griffin
The thing about college was when you went in, you never came out the same on the other end. For some folks that was a very good thing. For others? Maybe not so much, but in end, we all let a change happen within us. I came into Ridgemore-U a kid not knowing much about anything, but definitely ready for that next step. And though I made some mistakes along the way, there was one thing I knew for certain.
I damn sure wouldn't make them again.
The few days after finals, my apartment went happily quiet, my roommates bags packed for the holidays were scattered about. I caught them both at the bar that last day before I'd have the place to myself. I fist bumped Ryan, then D, short for Diondre, before taking a seat with them, eating our final breakfast. We were both teammates and roommates, and no doubt friends long after that as we headed into this final stretch of the school year. After that, it was a life of hopefully successful careers.
"You still planning on sticking around the place?" Ryan asked me, his dreads all bundled up behind him.
I told the guys I'd be staying here during break and their jaws pretty much dropped to the floor. Coach had a plan for me, though, and I decided after discussing things with my family being here was best. Outside of the Christmas weekend, I'd be here at good old Ridgemore-U. Coach set me up with a trainer so I could work on my game through break. This was my final shot, my last chance to polish my game before we leaped into the heart of the season, and I couldn't pass it up. Being here, I could keep an eye on our apartment, too, so it was a win/win.
"Mmhmm," I told them, munching on some Frosted Flakes. "At least one of us will make use of his time."
I got flipped the bird for that one, from both Ryan and D, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Roxie & Griffin: A Found by You Novelette Page 4