“I want cheeseburgers now and I took off work early to be with you. I don’t care where we eat.” She wasn’t the type of woman who wanted to be spoiled—and that made him want to do it even more.
“I think I may have a serious crush on you, sir.” She kissed his cheek.
“Good. I was hoping you would.”
*
Zanna hated to admit it, but she was kind of relieved to be out of that fancy place. It was beautiful. It was the kind of place the poor little girl living in a dingy motel room in Tulsa she used to be would have dreamed of going to, but when she was there with all those forks and crystal water glasses, she was reminded that she was still that girl who was born on a reservation and lived like a nomad for most of her life. She felt completely out of place. She felt like she was living somebody else’s life.
She was missing Destiny, too. She felt like she was part of the community there. Here she was feeling kind of lost.
She looked back at Colt who was waiting in line for their order while she collected straws and napkins. He looked so out of place there in his fancy suit. He had been comfortable at dinner and even though she knew he came from nothing, he seemed like he was made to be there. He had earned the right to have the finest. She was relieved to be out of there but she felt damn guilty about it, too. Almost like he deserved to be with that elegant beauty who walked up to him instead of her.
“Yo, Zanna. Is that you?”
She turned around at the mention of her name then wished she hadn’t. Because her heart stopped in that moment. The past she’d worked so hard to get away from had sneaked up behind her.
It was Johnny, one of Bruno’s friends. When she left New York, she had left them all behind, those low-level gangsters who’d rather scam little old ladies out of money than get real jobs.
“That is you!” Johnny grinned at her. “You look way different.” His eyes traveled up her body. “But good. Bruno was looking for you. What the hell happened to you?”
He didn’t know? Of course Bruno probably had too much pride to admit that she’d outsmarted him. That she’d taken the cash he had been keeping at her place and done what was right with it. She was sure he would have had all of his friends after her. She was sure that if she hadn’t moved away, he would have killed her.
“I moved.”
“It’s funny that I ran into you here. You on vacation? I lost a bundle at the tables. I’ve got to tell Bruno I saw you here. He’ll get a kick out of it.”
“I don’t think he will.”
“Zanna.” Colt wrapped his arm around her in that protective way he did whenever another man was around. “You okay, baby?”
“I’m fine.”
“Good.” He looked at Johnny. “Let’s go.”
They got back into their chauffeured car. Zanna still felt shaky, like the rug had been pulled from beneath her. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He wrapped both of his arms around her, pulling her head down to rest on his chest.
She debated telling him, but she was tired of holding it in and he knew so much about her already. “That was my ex’s friend. The ex whom I moved across the country to get away from after he slapped me around and put his hand around my throat. He’s a low-level mobster and I found out that he was scamming senior citizens in a construction scam. I believed him when he told me he worked for his uncle. But that was dumb of me because he never worked and seemed to have his lazy ass on my couch every time I turned around.”
He stiffened slightly. “Do you have LOSER MAGNET tattooed on your forehead? You’re too damn smart to be so damn stupid when it comes to men.”
“I know, right?” She smiled up at him, feeling much calmer than before. “I’m with you. Is that going to come back and bite me in the ass somehow?”
“I’m perfect. We both know that.”
He wasn’t perfect. Nobody was, but maybe he was too good for her. Maybe he was put in her path just so she would know what it was like to be with somebody who treated her well.
“Tell me why you stopped seeing that woman?”
“You really want to know? She was like making love to a cold, dead fish, and she was a vegan. That’s where I draw the line. I like a woman who’s not afraid to bury her face in a greasy meat carcass.” He went quiet for a moment and kissed her forehead. “You know that as long as you’re with me I won’t let anybody hurt you.”
She knew that. She just didn’t know how much longer this would last.
*
The sound of Zanna’s laughter greeted Colt when he walked in the door two nights later. He walked in a little later than usual. It was well after nine but he’d had to make up for some of the work he’d missed while he had taken off to be with Zanna. Work that he couldn’t delegate to anyone else or put off until later. But the whole damn time he was there he was thinking about her and feeling guilty that he was at work while she was sitting here waiting for him.
She was spread out on the couch, in a little pink nightie, the phone to her ear. He could hear the deep timbre of a man’s voice, which immediately made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. “Your brother just walked in, Levi. And he’s looking at me with that I’m-going-to-rip-someone’s-face-off look. Probably thinks you’re trying to get with me. You want to talk to him? No?” She laughed again. “I’m glad you called. Good-bye.” She disconnected and set her cell phone down. “Hello, gorgeous.” She held her arms out to him, causing him to drop his briefcase and go to her.
“Hello, yourself.” He climbed on top of her, resting his head on her chest. “How was your day?”
“It was okay. Watched a marathon of The Golden Girls and sent your maid home so I could clean everything myself.”
“You sent my maid home?”
“Yes, and you’re right. Nobody scrubs a toilet like she does. I’m going to have to ask her what her secret is.” She was bored here; more than that, he could tell she wasn’t happy. She hadn’t complained once, but he knew. And if he was being honest with himself, he would admit that he wanted her there for selfish reasons. Because he liked coming home to her at night, because he liked sleeping with her. Because she made him happy.
Being here wasn’t good for her. It was only good for him. “You want to go back to Destiny, don’t you?”
“What?”
His question caught her off guard. He could have ignored the issue a little longer, probably gotten her to stay here for a little while longer, but she needed her own life, not to be squeezed into his.
“I want to be with you, Colt.”
“But you don’t want to be here, do you?”
“I was thinking that I could get a job if we were planning on moving forward.”
He shook his head. The thought had crossed his mind but he knew it wasn’t the answer. “You don’t belong here.”
She was about to protest but words failed her. “You could come back home. You bought all that property, and Lolly’s there.”
“But my business is here. My life is here and I worked too damn hard to leave that place to ever go back.”
“I know.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry, but I love Destiny. It’s my home.”
“I know, baby. It’s not mine anymore.” His lifted his head and kissed her lips lightly. “I’ll take you back tomorrow.”
In his gut he knew he was doing the right thing, but in his heart it felt like he would never recover.
Chapter 15
He was too good to be true, Zanna thought as she watched Colt get dressed two days later. He had taken her back home and as soon as the plane landed on the dusty airstrip she felt lighter, like she could return to being the woman she was. Head stylist of her little salon, a woman who worked for everything she had. A woman who had finally found her place in the world. But she felt heavier, too. Like she was giving up something good that she was never going to get back and it was going to leave a hole in her.
He didn’t put on a full suit today, just a T-shirt and pair of jeans that he had left at
the house. She thought he was going to leave after they flew in yesterday, but he stayed the night, stayed in bed with her, getting up later than usual. It was as if he didn’t want to go.
Why did he have to go?
“Why don’t you leave tomorrow?” She rose from bed, dressed in a ratty tank top and underwear, the same thing she’d worn the first time he barged into her bedroom. Only then she was ordering him out. Now she was asking him to stay.
“I can’t. I’ve already taken off too much time.”
“Damn it, Colt. You haven’t taken any time off. You take off a half day here and there. You work less than twelve hours and you call that a vacation. That is not a vacation. Work shouldn’t be your life. You’re going to get old and die and what will you have? A business? An empire to rub in the faces of some people who don’t matter. What about you? When are you going to find some happiness?”
“Why are you yelling at me?”
“Because I’m sad you’re leaving, you asshole.” She punched his arm. “And I don’t want to cry again.”
“You think leaving you is easy for me?” He grabbed her arms. “I want to be with you. I like my life and my job. I’ve spent years working toward this. Just like you’ve spent years finding a place to make you feel like you belong. I can’t ask you to give that up.”
“You could have and I would. For you. I would have picked up my world and moved it into yours to make you happy.”
“That wouldn’t have made you happy.”
“But I would have tried for you. I would have put my happiness second and tried for you.”
“What the hell are you even talking about?”
“You didn’t try for me. You couldn’t even think of a compromise.”
“Damn it, Zanna. This is not the life I want.”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I guess you didn’t want me as much as I wanted you.”
“You’re being ridiculous. I tried for you. I tried harder for you than I had with anybody else. I was ready to commit to you.”
“Coming home after eight every night and leaving before seven the next day is a great way to have a relationship.”
“I can’t talk to you right now. You’re not making any sense.”
“Just go.” She shook her head. “I hope you find that woman who is going to easily fit into your life, because it’s going to be one long, lonely life if you don’t.”
He shook his head and walked out without saying another word. She sat back on her bed, chest heaving, not sure why she had started that argument. But she was mad at him, really and truly mad at him, and she hadn’t realized how much until that moment.
She wasn’t enough for him, she realized. He would always put work before her, before his family. And she needed more than that. She deserved that. For once in her life she deserved to come first in somebody’s life. She wanted children and a family of her own and stability and she couldn’t get that from him. But she’d known that going in, and maybe she wasn’t mad at him at all; maybe she was mad at herself for falling so deeply in love. Maybe she was mad that he was the love of her life but his job would be his.
*
Colt stormed into Lolly’s hospital room. She was sitting up in bed, her hair perfectly done, her face full of makeup, looking as innocent as a newborn baby. “Who shit in your cereal this morning, son?”
“Zanna. Instead of saying good-bye she picks a damn fight with me. Some stupid shit about me not trying with her. I didn’t try with her? She’s the only woman I’ve ever tried with. Hell, I want her with me every damn moment of the day. I never wanted anyone else near me before. I never told anybody else the things I’ve told her. I’ve never lost my fucking mind over a woman before and she says I’m not trying. All I did was try.”
“So what’s the issue?”
“She says I work too much. Of course I work too much. All I know how to do is work. I don’t do it just for me. I did it for Duke to pay him back for taking care of us when our lousy father wouldn’t. I did it for Levi to keep his ass in this country and out of a damn car wreck. I did it to prove to everybody who thought we were shit that we aren’t shit anymore.”
“Yes, you did, and you did a good job. But Colt, the boys are fine. And they are fine because of you. When are you going to give yourself a break? When are you going to take time to enjoy life? I’ve never seen you happy before. I’ve known you all your life, too, and that makes me damn sad. You had a chance at it with Zanna.”
“But she wanted to come back here.”
“She didn’t say she wanted to come back here without you. She’s mad at you because you gave up too easily. You said you tried with her and maybe you did, but you quit. You quit when you couldn’t easily find a solution with her. Zanna is not business. Love is not business. Why the hell do you think I called you back here?”
“Because you’re dying and you wanted me to help you with the salon?”
“I’m not dying, stupid. Not anytime soon at least. I’m just old and a little sick. And the salon is going to Zanna. She’s been trying to buy it from me for months but I wanted to give it to her, and I didn’t want to turn it over until I knew it would turn a profit for her. She’s a good girl who’s had a tough time and she deserves it.”
“What about you? How are you going to live if you don’t sell the salon to her?”
“I’ve got a couple of rich nephews that are going to buy me a beach condo. What the hell do you think?”
“Anywhere you want to go, you just let me know.”
“I know you’ll take care of me. But I want to know who the hell is going to take care of you, Colt.”
“I don’t need anybody to take care of me.”
“Don’t you? What about somebody to make you happy? Somebody to keep you on your toes? Somebody to just grow old with?”
“You’re telling me you set me up, old woman?”
“I set you all up and did a damn fine job of it myself.”
“Your plan didn’t work. She’s pissed at me and I’m going home alone.”
“You don’t have to go, Colt. Have you ever asked yourself what you want? Not what you think you should want, but what would really make you just plain old happy.”
Zanna would make him happy. Making her happy would make him happy. Maybe that’s why he’d given her up so easily. Because he knew she wanted marriage and kids and a small-town life. She wanted a partner and he wasn’t sure he could give her that. He wasn’t sure if he had it in him.
*
Zanna forced herself out of bed and out of the house after Colt left. She felt like shit. Worse than shit: She felt heartbroken. But she wasn’t sure why. She had known this was going to end, that she and Colt were never going to last, never meant to be. She had prepared herself for this split because she knew he was all wrong for her. She knew that before she fell head over freaking heels in love him. She wished she could be like those calm, classy women who could find losing a love sad and bittersweet. She couldn’t, though, and instead of sending the man she loved away with a good-bye she’d ruined their last moments together by blowing up in his face.
They had ended like they had started. Explosively. But he was good to her. Better than anyone had ever been to her before. Maybe that’s why she’d lashed out. She had been hurt before. She had run away from relationships before, but this time it was different. She said she wanted to miss him, but she lied. Missing him was going to hurt like hell.
“Well, look who’s back,” Peggy said when Zanna walked into The Head Shed after driving around town for hours; she didn’t know where else to go. “For somebody who just spent a few days in Vegas with a sexy millionaire, you sure as hell don’t look happy.”
“I missed you old biddies,” she said, trying to inject some lightness in her voice. “How’s business since I’ve been gone?”
“Good,” Annie said, getting up from her nail station. “I did seven manicures and two full sets of acrylic nails yesterday. Made seventy bucks in tips alone. I just abou
t passed out when I counted them up all last night.” She put her hand on Zanna’s shoulder. “But really, honey, what’s the matter with you. Didn’t you have a good time with Colt?”
“I had a very nice time with him.”
“She’s in love with him, you twit,” Bertie said, still in her usual spot, still knitting while her eyes were fixed on the television. “He’s in love with her, too.”
“He’s in love with his job,” Zanna said, her voice conveying more emotion than she meant to.
“He’s always been a hard worker.” Peggy nodded. “Even when he was a kid and Lolly put him to work here. He always went above and beyond what he had to do. Always picked things up quickly. Always looked at us with judgment in his eyes, like he could do hair better than us.”
“He probably could, if we trained him more,” Bertie harrumphed. “Especially with the way you have been doing your haircuts lately.”
“You saying I’m losing my touch, old woman?” Peggy swiveled toward Bertie, her eyes hot.
“Losing it? That would imply you had it in the first place.”
“Oh, quit it, you two. Can’t you see that Zanna is hurting? What happened in Vegas?” Annie looked at Zanna. “I was half hoping to get an email telling us that you weren’t coming back with a picture of your hand with a huge diamond ring as an attachment. Only half hoping, because I love you like a sister, you know.”
“I know,” Zanna said, giving her a small smile. “Nothing happened. Colt doesn’t want to stay in Destiny and I don’t want to leave.”
“I don’t really blame him,” Peggy said. “People were downright cruel to them after his father caused the accident at the factory. Then when Duke went away Colt seemed to lose all faith in this place. That man may love you, but he probably don’t love you more than he hates his past.”
Annie and Bertie nodded in agreement.
“Look on the bright side,” Annie said with a squeeze of her shoulder. “There was a guy here a little while ago looking for you. He said he was an old friend looking to reconnect.”
The Bad Boy CEO Page 18