by Rachel Grant
The bigwigs all shared Curt’s office at the Department of Justice, while Luke shared the table with Station Neah Bay Commander Martinez and the rest of the Station employees who’d been involved from the start. The new member at the Neah Bay table was Annabelle, whom they’d had to tell because she’d operated Marvin.
From the grim looks on the faces around the Station table, the excitement and awe of having direct dealings with the AG had transformed to disbelief at the level of the threat, utter shock at the importance of the investigation that had stemmed from a simple dive to fend off PTSD.
Luke’s gaze met Undine’s. Her personal struggle had uncovered a massive threat to US security—much more than a footnote to the Cold War, which was what the sinking of Wrasse would have become.
“We’ve got a team of investigators heading your way,” the FBI director said. “We’ll have people crawling all over the coast to find Yuri Kravchenko and Alexei and Ivan Lutsenko.”
Undine cleared her throat. “We know Yuri was upset about the sinking of the ferry on the Sea of Azov as it was crossing the Kerch Strait from the Crimean Peninsula to Russia. Today my dad reminded me of something that…has been nagging at me, and I’ve only just realized why. There’s a black-tie event on Saturday night on the ferry that runs between Port Angeles and Victoria. Both the Washington governor and the BC premier are going to be there, and local media should be in attendance. The ferry itself is an international passenger-and-car ferry—just like the Kerch Strait ferry line. Yuri has ridden that ferry a lot—he told me he had friends in Sidney, BC, but he could have been scoping the boat. If he’s looking for attention for his cause, this event is the perfect target.”
Luke sat up straight, a frisson of excitement running through him. In his gut, he was certain Undine was right, and from the looks on the faces of the Coast Guard officers, they agreed.
Silence had settled in the wake of her theory; the CIA analyst finally broke it. “Everything we’ve been able to compile on Kravchenko tells me that Ms. Gray is correct. It fits his profile. He’d target the ferry. I also think he’s crazy enough to set off the bomb.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“At this point, the best way to allay suspicions and gain information is for Dr. Gray and Undine to accept the invitation to the event,” Curt said.
Beside Undine, Luke stiffened. “No.”
She dropped her hand to his knee. “Accepting doesn’t mean we’ll go. Both the governor and the premier consulted with Dad about the proposed boundaries for the marine sanctuaries. If he didn’t issue a press release saying he’s attending the event while he’s in town, it would look suspicious to Yuri.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Curt said. “In fact, I think Dr. Gray should stress the fact that Undine is going as well, to make sure we have Yuri’s attention.”
“My publicist will handle everything,” her dad said. His gaze shifted to Undine. “One way to do that is to offer details like the name of the designer you’re going to wear.”
“I was planning on going with Helly Hansen or maybe Carhartt.”
Her dad shook his head. “Your mother will be mortified. I’ll call her and have her set you up with something appropriately amazing and disgustingly expensive.”
Just what she needed, her former-model mother to finally show interest in her awkward tomboy daughter. How long before she complained that Undine never had the nose job? She groaned. “If you want expensive, I can go with Filson.”
Luke laughed. “You aren’t actually going to the party. It won’t matter.”
“What do you think about adding Lt. Sevick to the guest list?” Her dad directed his question to the speakerphone. “As Undine’s date, the former SEAL who saved her life would garner a lot of attention.”
Luke stiffened.
“Yes,” the CIA director said. “Given the media coverage he got after pulling Undine from the strait when the Petrel sank, it will up interest in the event. Yuri will be thrilled—which might make him sloppy.”
Undine flashed Luke a grin. “Don’t worry, honey, you aren’t actually going.”
“Touché,” he said through stiff lips.
“Welcome to my world, babycakes.”
“It sounds like we need to focus the search for Kravchenko and the Lutsenko twins in Port Angeles,” Commander Martinez said. “Have you been in contact with the commander there?”
“We have,” the secretary of Homeland Security said. “The Coast Guard and Border Patrol have photos and descriptions of Kravchenko, his boat and his nephews.”
Parker flipped through the slides on the PowerPoint projector and brought up the driver’s license photos of Ivan and Alexei Lutsenko, fraternal twin brothers. Undine had studied the photos many times since they’d initially received them, and she was certain she’d never seen either man before.
“With five days’ lead time,” the secretary continued, “we’ll find all three men before the ferry sets out on Saturday, and if we don’t, we’ll put a halt to the sailing. The governor can have her photo op another time.”
“So what’s our next step?” Luke asked.
“We need to stop all underwater investigation on the Wrasse and Soviet sub,” Curt said. “This is no longer an NHHC investigation but an active threat to national security. You, Lt. Sevick, get a vacation. Go back to Port Angeles if you’d like. Undine and Dr. Gray, we need you both to stay in Washington, to make it appear you’re going to the event on the ferry, but there is no need for either of you to stay in Neah Bay if you wish to leave. When this is resolved, NHHC might move forward with the documentary, but for now, all pretense of filming should stop.”
The meeting adjourned not long after that, and Undine found herself swept forward with the group, who agreed to go out to dinner at the largest restaurant in town. They took over the small, one-room diner and talked loudly about the hold on the documentary due to Navy funding not coming through. Boatswain’s Mate Shales was smooth in laying the foundation without being heavy-handed in getting the misinformation out.
Luke was quiet throughout the meal, but he had a hand on her knee or his arm around her shoulder the entire time. A few days ago, she would have written his touches off as designed to piss off her dad, but Stefan showed no tension at Luke’s blatant claiming of her. In fact, he seemed to welcome it.
My, my, how things can change.
After dinner, she said good night to her dad, Annabelle, and the Coast Guard contingent, and Luke drove her home to their Hobuck cabin. They sat in his SUV in silence, staring at the dark cabin in the largely empty resort. It was Monday night, and the place had cleared out of surfers and weekenders on Sunday afternoon.
Something was off with Luke, and she had no idea what it was. He loved her. She loved him. And yet, something had happened in the last few hours; some sort of barrier had formed. All at once, the problem slapped her in the face. “We’re going to Port Angeles tomorrow.”
He nodded.
“And this—between us—is Neah Bay only.”
He nodded again.
“Because I live in DC. You live here. And neither of us are willing to change that.” But even more than that…she was a trigger for him. He might have forgiven her and her father, but letting go of twelve years of anger wasn’t something that could be done in a day.
“I can’t quit, Undine. And I don’t want to. Don’t ask me to give up my world for you. I already did that once.”
She sucked in a breath. She had to find a way to let him go that they could both accept. “I would never. And I…don’t think I can give up mine. In DC, I’m not Stefan Gray’s daughter. I have friends. A job. A life.” She shifted in her seat to face him. “I love you, Luke, but I don’t see a future for us. The fact that there’s peace between us means the world to me. It’s a gift, a freedom I never expected to have. If that’s all I take home from Neah Bay, it will be enough.”
Freedom. His love meant freedom to her. She wasn’t willing to give up her job
and move. She wasn’t willing to sacrifice that piece of herself for him. But then…like him, she’d already done that. Maybe hers had been deliberate, voluntary, but that didn’t make it any less real. And maybe that’s all this was for her, a chance for redemption. Forgiveness.
He believed one hundred percent that she loved him. But maybe it was a different kind of love. Not the burning, aching, I-need-to-be-with-you-until-the-end-of-time feeling he had so much as the peace of the past being put to rest. A deep, abiding feeling that meant she could let the guilt go and move forward. Without him.
She loved him. But maybe not enough. “I’d like to amend the rules.”
She raised a perfect, crookedly imperfect brow.
“While you’re in Port Angeles, I want you to stay with me.” It had irrationally bothered him that she’d wanted their relationship kept out of the documentary. He refused to be her dirty secret again. “And I want the press release about the party to state we’re a couple. Even if this ends when you get on the plane for home, I want the world to know you’re mine right now.”
“I think…” She inhaled deeply, her chest rising and staying high as she held her breath. Tears gathered in her eyes. Finally, she exhaled. “Staying with you would only make it harder when it’s time for me to leave. I’m a rip-the-bandage-off sort of woman.” She grimaced. “Face PTSD head-on and dive on Wrasse, even if it means asking the one man on the planet who hates me for help.”
“I don’t—”
“I know.” She took his hand and cradled it in hers. “I’m in love with you, Luke. And because of that, I can’t spend time with you in Port Angeles and still say good-bye without falling apart. The original rules still apply. This ends when we leave Neah Bay. We have tonight, but tomorrow morning, I’m going to catch a ride to Port Angeles on Nereid.”
Her words were a blow. But it was his own damn fault for setting the rules to begin with. He thought of a thousand protests, but they all came to the same conclusion—all he could ask for was another week, not a lifetime. She was right to rip the bandage off now, because in another week, he might not be able to let go.
Chapter Thirty
Undine didn’t think anything in her personal life could be worse than saying good-bye to Luke. But that was BC. Before Charlene. She’d never considered what it would be like to face her mother as she nursed a breaking heart.
Charlene Gray arrived in Port Angeles Tuesday night, a mere twenty-four hours after Stefan informed Charlene that Undine intended to venture into the public eye for the first time, and just four hours after Nereid made port in the north-coast town. A former model who’d never quite hit the big time, Charlene had seized on the opportunity to grab a little limelight. It didn’t hurt her aspirations that it would also be Undine’s first public appearance since being the sole survivor of an explosion that had made national news.
So now, here Undine was, driving a rental car to Seattle with her estranged mother in the passenger seat, on a mission to buy a dress she didn’t want for a party she didn’t really plan to attend. All while feeling like her heart had been ripped out of her chest because she’d ended things with Luke to protect them both.
The day was dark, rainy, windy, and pretty much sucked as far as Undine was concerned. She counted to ten as her mother nitpicked her appearance and suggested she purchase bigger breasts for the third time.
Why did Seattle have to be so damn far? And why did she agree to go dress shopping in the first place?
But she knew the answer to that one. She’d hoped the day trip would prevent her from calling Luke and telling him she was desolate and would take whatever she could get, no matter how painful the good-bye would be later.
It was also true that part of Undine had looked forward to the mother-daughter outing. It was a month of reconciliations for her. Maybe her mother’s arrival would make it a hat trick. Plus, she hadn’t gone shopping with her mother since she was fourteen—before her unsatisfactory breasts had even fully developed.
But an hour into the drive and she was wondering how she could have forgotten there was a reason she hadn’t gone shopping with her mother in half a lifetime, a reason she’d whittled her visits down to one lousy weekend every other year, and the odds against a miracle hat trick were forty kabillion to none.
Charlene was self-absorbed and never considered Undine’s feelings as she blathered on about her life, denigrated Undine’s choices, and complained about her accommodations on Nereid.
In short, Undine’s resentment was riding high, and she wished she’d opted to stay with Luke, even if it meant having quinoa and kale with every meal. “Mom, can we…not talk for a while?”
“Typical. I come all this way to help you out, and you’re nothing but critical of me.”
Undine took a deep breath and asked herself if she had it in her to fight this battle or if she’d ignore her mother’s comments, like she always did. But her patience snapped. “I’m sorry I have Dad and Grandma Gray’s eyes, and I got Dad’s nose, and that I don’t have your figure or your grace, but I happen to think I’m okay, in spite of the fact that I’ll never be a supermodel. There is more to life than being photogenic. There’s an entire world that goes on while you’re posing for attention.”
“You don’t have to be insulting. Your father should be ashamed of how he spoiled you.”
“He may have spoiled me, but at least he was there.”
Charlene let out a sharp gasp. “You had a choice. You could have chosen me. But you chose him.”
They were back to that again. “I was six, Mom. What sort of parent leaves it up to a six-year-old to choose, then resents the child for her choice for the rest of her life? Stop punishing me for choosing Dad. You never should have given me that choice. You could have demanded fifty-fifty custody, but you didn’t want the burden of being a mother for half the year.”
“That’s not true! I was devastated when you chose your father. I cried for weeks.”
She found that hard to believe, considering Charlene had abandoned Undine at six and rejected her again at sixteen. “Yeah. You say that, and maybe it’s even true, but again, I was six. I chose the parent with the cool boat. The one who seemed to want me.”
She drove in silence as her mother stewed over that. At last, she pulled into the Bainbridge ferry terminal parking lot and parked the rental car. They had at least thirty long, excruciating minutes until the ferry would leave, then a thirty-five-minute crossing. Then shopping in downtown Seattle.
She’d take a two-hour CrossFit workout over this. “Screw it,” she muttered. “You know what, Mom? I didn’t ask you to come. In fact, the one time I really needed you—right after the explosion—you were on vacation and couldn’t be bothered to cut it short to come visit me. Dad was here within twelve hours. Erica came for a week. Trina came for the following week. But you? You called and left a message. So you aren’t allowed to gripe that you’re doing me a favor now. I thought maybe, just maybe, we’d have fun today, but if you’re going to spend the day telling me all the ways in which I’ve disappointed you in looks and personality, you can just take a taxi to SeaTac from downtown Seattle.”
Her mother’s eyes widened. “You’d send me home? You wouldn’t even let me go to the party after I came all this way?”
Undine leaned back in her seat. “Why do you want to go to this party so badly, Mom? You don’t even give a crap about the marine sanctuaries or the management plan.”
Her mother pursed her lips.
“Careful, or you’ll get wrinkles,” Undine couldn’t help but say. Then she sighed and reached for her mother’s hand. “What’s going on?”
“Andre left me.”
“Andre was a shallow prick. Let me guess, he’s taken up with a woman my age?”
A tear slid down her mother’s cheek. Undine knew her mother had liked her…consort? Sugar daddy? Keeper? Whatever the term was, Andre had financed all the extras in Charlene’s life, from diamonds to luxury cars to vacations that couldn�
�t be cut short for traumatized daughters, and her mother had cared for the man as much as she was capable of caring for anyone, Undine supposed.
“Yes. Only she’s even younger. Perfect, perky breasts. No stretch marks on her perfect, flat belly. I’d hoped…if this party makes the news, Andre would see me with you and your father. Happy. On my feet. And he’d be sorry.”
“That’s not how Andre is wired. And frankly, I pity his new mistress. But then, I pitied you. Have you ever considered trying to find a partner you truly loved? Someone you want to be with?”
“I tried that with your father, and look where it got me.”
“It got you a daughter and a life on a boat traveling around the world.”
“A boat! It’s not like the Nereid is a luxury yacht! There were no cocktails at sunset. No dinner out with other couples met in port. No. It was all boring research. Work.”
“And you didn’t love Dad—or me—enough to make it work. To maybe try to enjoy, learn, and grow from the travels. You just resented that there wasn’t enough booze.”
“He should have loved me enough. He should have given up the travels. Stayed in one place.”
“He did! He built the institute, hoping you’d be there when he returned from research expeditions.”
“The institute was even worse than the boat. The only people who ever visited were more science types. They made sure to talk slowly and use small words when they talked to me. And when Stefan was home, he was always working. I was so lonely, Undine. I had no one to talk to. No one who respected me. No one who saw me as anything other than Dr. Stefan Gray’s dumb trophy wife.”
Undine’s breath left her in a rush. She and her mother had experienced the same loneliness at the institute and similar discrimination. Her mother because she was beautiful and presented a shallow front, and Undine because she was young, a nuisance, and her only credential for taking up valuable space at the institute or on the boat was that she was Stefan Gray’s daughter.